I wish I could

I woke up in the middle of the night. I expected to be hyperventilating and crying, but my nightmare hadn’t been that bad. I turned around to find Jack next to me, sleeping peacefully. I was a bit distressed by my dream but I decided to let him sleep, he looked just too cute.

I tried to fall asleep again but thoughts about Matt kept me up. I was scared he would hurt me.

To calm myself down, I got up and had a glass of water and I decided I could just as well go for a wee when I was already up. I went to bed again and pushed away my thoughts of Matt.

The next morning, Jack and I cuddled for a long time before getting up. I packed my hand luggage and made sure to include my Seroquel because I was quite sure it would be needed. I was terribly afraid of plane rides but so far, I had managed to conceal it pretty well. Today, I would try to go without the medication for as long as possible but I would take one if the 7-hour-flight would get too much.

When I boarded the plane, I was still pretty calm. It got worse when I was strapped into my seat. Take-off made it worse but when we were stably in the air, the worst thing happened. A stewardess poured a drink over me. It hadn’t even looked like an accident, rather as if she had done it on purpose. But I was maybe just imagining her glancing to Matt and him smiling. I tried to keep myself from crying but I didn’t do too well of a job. I had no spare t-shirt and so I had to keep it on. I tried to dry it in the tiny toilet cubicle’s hand dryer but it wasn’t crowned by success.

And so I was forced to go back. I was not relaxed at all, I was on the verge of a panic attack but Jack held me. I broke down when we got into some turbulence. I took my pill and let Jack put the blanket on me, blocking out all the things around me. I was shaking badly and couldn’t await the pill’s effect.

I spent the rest of the flight in a haze with some weird nightmares.

Leaving the plane, I clung onto Jack. We kissed goodbye, promising to meet soon when we would have seen our families. I was incredibly tired and only wanted to sleep. Which was the first thing I did after coming home.

Notes

I'm so so so so so sos os o sorry I didn't update yesterday and that this chapter is short and not too good, I was/am just too tired and yesterday I had no time. Please forgive me...

What do you think will happen? Matt planning something evil? Alex getting worse?
Tell me what you think! c:

-Laura