Chasing the Future
Why? (Alex POV)
I woke up in the middle of the night. I had had some weird dreams but Jack’s warmth calmed me down as well as his regular breathing. I decided to get up and find something to eat; somewhere in this hospital there had to be some automaton for snacks. I kissed Jack on his forehead and left.
Wandering the hallways, I had to think about the last time at a hospital. It had been in Toronto, after I had cut too deeply and passed out after a show. Jack had not known about my “issues” back then, but that was the day he found out. I cringed at the memory of his pained face.
When I finally found a vending machine, I got myself a hot chocolate and some more chocolate. It is said that chocolate gives you happy hormones, and I sure was in need of such neurotransmitters. I slurped down the hot, creamy drink, having to think of Luna and the hot chocolate she had made for me. I remembered how she had looked at me, such care in her expression. I knew she really cared about me and would probably want to know what had happened, so I called her.
Only seconds after pressing the call button, I realized that just like yesterday it was late in the night or better even, very early in the morning. I didn’t stop the call though; I knew she wouldn’t really mind.
She took the call after some time.
“Luna? It’s Alex.”
“Hi Alex,” she yawned, “what’s up? Why did you have to leave?”
“I… Jack attempted suicide,” I said bluntly, breathing out after saying these words. It still hurt to say it.
“What? Why?” she asked, sounding very shocked.
“Apparently, he was deeply upset about me leaving and felt utterly worthless. I feel like it’s kinda my fault…” I said, the thought of almost indirectly having killed Jack nearly killing me in return.
“Alex, this is not your fault. It was your full right to leave and fate kept him from dying. It will be okay,” she replied soothingly.
“I hope so…”
“Can I come and visit tomorrow?” she asked curiously.
“Uhh, I don’t know if it’s such a good idea to introduce you to Jack yet… But I’ll pick my things up at your place anyways so we can meet there,” I answered. I hoped she wouldn’t be upset but I wasn’t sure how Jack would take her.
“Yeah ok, call me when you come over,” she replied after a short time. “But I hope you will introduce me to Jack at some point,” she added, sounding a bit awkward.
“I will be, don’t worry,” I said softly. With this, I ended the call. A tiredness settled over me and I crept back to Jack’s bed. I fell asleep immediately, completely exhausted from the events of the day.
Wandering the hallways, I had to think about the last time at a hospital. It had been in Toronto, after I had cut too deeply and passed out after a show. Jack had not known about my “issues” back then, but that was the day he found out. I cringed at the memory of his pained face.
When I finally found a vending machine, I got myself a hot chocolate and some more chocolate. It is said that chocolate gives you happy hormones, and I sure was in need of such neurotransmitters. I slurped down the hot, creamy drink, having to think of Luna and the hot chocolate she had made for me. I remembered how she had looked at me, such care in her expression. I knew she really cared about me and would probably want to know what had happened, so I called her.
Only seconds after pressing the call button, I realized that just like yesterday it was late in the night or better even, very early in the morning. I didn’t stop the call though; I knew she wouldn’t really mind.
She took the call after some time.
“Luna? It’s Alex.”
“Hi Alex,” she yawned, “what’s up? Why did you have to leave?”
“I… Jack attempted suicide,” I said bluntly, breathing out after saying these words. It still hurt to say it.
“What? Why?” she asked, sounding very shocked.
“Apparently, he was deeply upset about me leaving and felt utterly worthless. I feel like it’s kinda my fault…” I said, the thought of almost indirectly having killed Jack nearly killing me in return.
“Alex, this is not your fault. It was your full right to leave and fate kept him from dying. It will be okay,” she replied soothingly.
“I hope so…”
“Can I come and visit tomorrow?” she asked curiously.
“Uhh, I don’t know if it’s such a good idea to introduce you to Jack yet… But I’ll pick my things up at your place anyways so we can meet there,” I answered. I hoped she wouldn’t be upset but I wasn’t sure how Jack would take her.
“Yeah ok, call me when you come over,” she replied after a short time. “But I hope you will introduce me to Jack at some point,” she added, sounding a bit awkward.
“I will be, don’t worry,” I said softly. With this, I ended the call. A tiredness settled over me and I crept back to Jack’s bed. I fell asleep immediately, completely exhausted from the events of the day.
Notes
AYE I STARTED A NEW STORYCheck it out, it's Jalex as main pairing. Alex is having troubles with sleeping. It is serious and he doesn't know how much longer he will be able to take it before he breaks...
http://www.alltimelowfanfiction.com/Story/25585/I-wish-I-could/
-Laura
@Cloud Storm
Thank you c:
2/1/14