Fear of Falling Apart

I feel awful about what happened earlier with me and Alex. We're cuddling on the couch and I keep apologizing. He keeps saying it's fine so after a while i shake it off and try not to focus on the sudden pain in my stomach.

I don't know why now I had to get sick, but i did and it sucks. I hope it's not serious though. It hurts more than a normal stomach ache. I don't know what I could've done to upset my stomach that much, but it was something.

I rest my head on Alex's shoulder and he takes my hand. With his other hand he feels my forehead and he gasps.

"Jacky! You're burning up, baby." he says. I just sigh. What the hell did i do to my body? "Let's get you in bed and I'll call your mom." i don't bother to refuse.

He picks me up and carries me bridal style to the bedroom and tucks me into the blankets. He kisses my cheek and walks out of the room. A few minutes after i hear talking.

"Mrs. Barakat... yeah... Jack isn't feeling too good so i was wondering when you were going to be home." he says nervously. I bite my lip and sigh. "Okay... he's probably running a fever and he threw up an hour ago. He said his stomach is hurting him too. Okay. Thanks."

I lean my head back and close my eyes. Why do I have to be sick now? We have to record our record still. I can't be sick for that. We all have to do our part! I can't be sick enough to not be able to do my part for the record. I would never let it go.

Alex walks in with medicine and tells me it will help when i make a disgusted face.

"You never get used to it." i mutter. He laughs and sits next to me. I drink it and gag a little before he gives me a cup of water. I gargle it and spit it back in the cup since you shouldn't automatically drink water. "I'm sick. Why are you sitting next to me? I don't want you sick." i ask.

"I don't care if you're contagious (A/N: If you get it you know what I'm referring too)." he says. I smile and he kisses my forehead. "Your mom is coming home now. My dad is bringing the guys home so they can hang out longer. Take a nap." he explains.

"But I'm not tired." i tell him, my eyes closing.

"Yes you are."

"Stay until i fall asleep?" i ask.

"I'm not leaving your side, baby." he says. I nod and he lies next to me. I rest my head on his chest and he rubs my back. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." i say.

**two hours later**

"Jack." someone says, shaking me awake. I groan, shoving my head under my pillow. "Jack." i realize it's my mom and sit up to hug her. "How're you feeling?"
"Like shit." i sigh. She sighs and helps me downstairs. I lie on the couch and Alex makes me soup. I cover myself in a blanket and my mom turns on Home Alone. My mom checks my temp and it's about 102. Ugh.
Alex walks over to me and sits next to me. I curl up into his side and rest my head on his shoulder as he takes my hand and intertwines our fingers.
"Jacky, get better please." he begs. I nod and he kisses my forehead. "My poor baby." he sighs. I just close my eyes and nod.
"Why did I have to get sick now?" I ask. He sighs and shrugs.
"I don't know, Jacky." he sighs. Rian walks in with Cassadee and we smile because they're holding hands. "Awe, cute!"
"Didn't you guys just meet last night?" i ask. He nods and they kiss. "Don't get too close. I'm sick." I say with a little laugh.

"You still have to record your record." Cassadee says. i nod and sigh. "Aw man. Feel better."
"Thanks, Cass." i say. She smiles and nods.
"Anytime, Jack." Cassadee says.
"We're going to hang out upstairs." RIan says.
"USE A CONDOM!" Alex shouts as they head upstairs. Rian laughs and I smile.
"NO PROMISES!" Cassadee yells. I look Alex with a look on my face.
"Oh..." i say. Alex giggles and i smile. "Well then." Someone walks into the house and Alex tenses up thinking it's someone that could hurt me. When the person turns the corner Alex leans back, tension leaving. "Calm down baby. No one could hurt me with you around."
"I know... just being aware of everything." Alex says. Keith smiles at us and I close my eyes. "What's up, Keith?"
"Just here to tell you that you guys start recording tomorrow." Keith says. Alex looks at me and then Keith as my eyes widen. "Is that a problem? You guys have been waiting for this for a while." Keith says.
"Nope. It's not. I'm just.... excited!" i say, fake excitement in my voice. No one notices... well Alex did. "Can't wait! What are we recording first?"
"Drums." Keith answers. We nod and I smile. "So, where's RIan and Zack?"
"Rian is upstairs with Cassadee and I think Zack is walking around LA taking pictures." Alex explains.
"Alright, well when you're all together, tell them. I have to go meet with another new band." Keith says.
"Who?"

"We Are the in Crowd." Keith says. We nod and he leaves giving us both a smile.
"I'm screwed! i HAVE TODAY TO GET BETTER?!" I shout. My mom walks in and she looks at me with worry. "We record tomorrow, mom."
"Just rest all day today and if you don't feel well tomorrow, you can't record. Can't risk the rest of the band getting sick. Alex is already at risk." My mom explains. I bite my lip and Alex sighs running a hand through his hair. He squeezes my hand and kisses my cheek. My mom feels my forehead and sighs. "You're still hot."
"I figured..." i mutter.
"You'll get better Jacky. It's either that or we give you medicine that will bring your fever down long enough for you to record some of what we need to do." Alex explains. He always sees the brightside of things.
Unless I miraculously get better tomorrow, there's no way I'm leaving the house. My mom knows that and Alex knows that. He doesn't want to accept it. He wants me there with him and I know he's only truly happy when he's with me.
I helped him with his anorexia, I helped him with his self harm and he sees himself as a completely different person... i hope. Why wouldn't he be happier with me? I can see it in his face that he wants me there.
"I guess you're right." i say. He nods and my mom smiles.
"You guys always know how to cheer each other up."

"We've been together long enough." I tell her. She nods and smiles.
We spend the rest of the day watching Home Alone and cuddling. It's the best day ever with my two favorite things in the world. Alex and Home Alone. I couldn't ask for anything more except for the that i wish i wasn't sick. A few times i had to run to the bathroom to throw up, but Alex was always right beside me. I cried a few times too, but what's a boyfriend for if he doesn't make you feel better?
When I finally have to go to bed, Alex is, again, right beside me. He's not leaving me anytime soon and I hope to god I don't do anything stupid to ruin it.
I lie next to Alex in bed, our legs tangled together, my head on his chest and our fingers intertwined. God I love him.
In the morning I wake up and the pain in my stomach is gone and everything that was bothering me yesterday is gone.
Wut?
Something must be wrong with me.... i can't just get better... I can't go from one day of throwing up, a fever, and a monsterous stomach ache to absolutely nothing wrong with me. Unless that's happened to you, but I was in serious pain and that's not even normal.
I open my eyes and look at my sleeping boyfriend. Why is he so hot? I smile and kiss his lips and he kisses back which surprises me since I thought he was asleep. He rests his hand on my cheek and we pull away.
I thought we were going to... you know...
"Morning to you too." i say. He smiles.
"How're you feeling, sexy?" he asks, pulling me on top of him. I smile wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my head on his chest.
"Way better... like freakishly better." i say into his chest. He wraps his arms around my waist and I smile. "How did i get so lucky?"
"I don't know." he smiles. I roll my eyes and kiss his cheek. He kisses me again and straddle his stomach. "Morning sex?" he giggles.

Someone knocks on the door and opens it. We both turn our heads to look at the door.
"Whoa!" Rian shrieks. We laugh and I roll off Alex. "Didn't want to see that."
"You walked in." Alex says.
"I knocked first!" he says defensively.

"FIne, we were about to have sex and you walked in without an okay. Everything cleared?" I ask. He rolls his eyes.
"Keith is here." Rian says disregarding the conversation. We smile.

Notes

Hey guyses! Have a nice New Year? I did! Here's a New Years day treat. A new chapter!
Read it love it.
Title Credit; All Time Low; Backseat Serenade
-Jenna