I get home and run up to my room only to be called down for dinner a minute later. I audibly groan and sit down at the kitchen table, slumping in my chair next to my dad and push my food around on my plate, suddenly losing my appetite.

“Alex sweety whats wrong,” my mother must be in a good mood. She never asks about how I'm feeling, she only worries about herself. I love my mother, don't get me wrong, I just don't particularly like her. She is constantly complaining about her job as a secretary and has a constant 'woe is me' attitude but every time I complain about one little thing, I have no right to and I have it so good. I know I have it good and that's what frustrates me more, that my life is so good, yet I still do this to myself. She's right, I have no right.

“Just tired,” I lie. I actually I was just about to relieve some stress and you interrupted me, I wish I could answer.

After dinner I run back up the stairs and to my bed side table. I pull out the little baggy that held my blades and lighter. No I don't smoke, but I do burn my self sometimes if I don't have time to clean up the blood. I pick out a random blade and take my bracelets off. I really feel like cutting my upper arm today so I figure I can just wear jackets or band-aids and make some lame excuse until they heal over.

I push the blade down on the pale skin just under my elbow and slide it across, wincing a little as I watch the thin red line appear. I add 6 more cuts around it and become transfixed on the contrast between red blood and pale skin on my arm, watching as the drops collect together and drip down my arm. I really like watching the blood. I think its strangely beautiful, now I'm not one for glorifying self-harm or anything but I just think blood is really beautiful. The contrast against my skin is fascinating. It travels down my arm at a curve until reaching my wrist where it begins to pool a little bit on the edge.
Buzz buzz

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of my phone somewhere in my room. I quickly look up and rush to get the tissue against my arm before it can drip onto my white bed sheets.

After cleaning up a little I find my phone under my pillow and pull it out to see a text from an unknown number.

From Unknown: Hey, its Jack :)

I forgot that I had given him my number earlier. I smile and quickly type back a reply and put his name in my phone before pressing the tissue back on my arm.

To Jack: Hey :D

From Jack: Whats up?

We texted all night until midnight when I got a text that said:
From Jack: Well im gonna go to sleep, night night
I smiled at the text “night night” that's so cute. He's so cute.
To Jack: Night night Jacky :)

I don't really know where the nick name came from, but it felt right and it was cute so I kept it. Trying not to over think it, I put my phone up and decided it was time I should get to sleep too.

***

My alarm rang through the room, and I slowly blink my eyes open before becoming infuriated with the stupid noise coming from my phone and viciously tapping on the “dismiss” button. I fully pry my eyes open and see that I have a text from Jack, sent 10 minutes ago. I smile brightly despite it being 6 am and slide open the text.

From Jack: Jacky? Thats cute :)

To Jack: Haha yeah, I dont know where that came from... Good morning btw

From: Morning Lexy

To Jack: Aw Lexy? I like it :)

From: Good because thats what im calling you now ;)

I change Jacks name in my phone to “Jacky” and begin to quickly got ready, showering and then dressing in a pair of red skinnys, white v-neck and black zip up before doing my hair. I run down stairs. Even though I'm running a little early, I'm excited to see Jack. I grab a apple off the counter before slipping on my black and white checkered vans and running out the door, back pack and apple in hand.
After I'm sitting in my car I send a quick text to Jack,

To Jacky: Will u be ready in 10 min?

From Jacky: Yup :)

I set of towards his house, happy that its 6:50 and Jack only lives about a 5 minute car ride from the school because that means we have time to go to the gas station and get one of those $1 drinks and some donuts.
I pull up to Jacks and smile as I see him jog out the door. He's wearing gray skinny jeans and a purple shirt with a black zip up hoodie and the same converse as yesterday. The hoodie is again suspicious because its going to get up to 90 again today, and yes I'm wearing one too but its because I have something to hide, so does he?

I swing my car into the small parking lot of the gas station, receiving a questioning look from Jack.
“I like to get a drink and donuts if I have extra time,” I turn off the car and climb out.

I grab a 32 ounce styrofoam cup and Jack does the same, only filling it with Dr. Pepper rather than Pepsi like me. I walk down the small part in the center grabbing my self 2 glazed donuts and telling Jack to pick whatever he wants. At the register I pull out a ten dollar bill and look over to see Jack pull out his wallet.

I place my hand on top of his again feeling sparks go through my skin, “Nope I got it. I insist,” I say before he can argue.

“You sure, I mean I have more than enough,” he mumbles out twiddling his fingers.
“I'm absolutely positive,” I smile up at him and place the money on the counter.

We walk back to the car and I begin to crawl in.

“Tssst-ahh, shit,” I breathe out after hitting the inside of my left arm on the steering wheel, perfectly rubbing the new cuts.
Jacks eyes grow a little bigger, “You okay dude?” he looks insanely worried so I rapidly nod. “Okay...” Jack gives me a skeptical look, “Wanna hang out again today?” I bet I know what were talking about tonight.
“Sure,” I give him a small smile. I'm trying desperately to pretended like nothing happened but my arm is throbbing and I think their bleeding again, lucky I'm wearing a black jacket or I'd be fucked. I look over at Jack once more and immediately wish I hadn't. He's slouched down in his seat, big brown eyes looking up at me, and mouth slightly opened. He looks like someone just kicked a puppy, and I'm the puppy. His eyes are so sad, I wish I could wipe the image from my brain.

**

The day is uneventful, but I could tell Jack was worried all day. I think he knows...
We began the ride back to my place again in a not-so-comfortable silence, so I turn the music up a little more and begin quietly singing along to Reckless Abandon. I bump over the end of my drive way and shut off the car.
Jack follows me into the kitchen, seeming a little more comfortable this time around, and I grab us both a water bottle and a pack of poptarts.
We sit down on my bed and play Mario Kart for about an hour until Jack says what I've been waiting for all night.

“You cut yourself don't you. Alex?”

Notes

So this makes 3 chapters on the first night, but i promise that wont be a normal thing, i just got really excited for the story. Its also a great way to procrastinate on home work ;)

Thank you so much for reading!

P.S. i feel like that last line sounds like that episode of sponge bob where sponge bob says "you like krabby pattys dont you squidward"