Walls
"I'm calling at night."
Dawn’s POV
Today was going to be just like any other day. I just knew it. Of course my thoughts we confirmed when I was pushed into my locker the second that I had gotten to it. I didn’t even need to look back to see that is was a jock. Their pushes were always harder than the other students. This time, my face was what hit my locker. It was normally my shoulder or back, but there were always days like this where they got me as I was facing it.
“Are you ok?” Jack’s asked as he came up to his locker.
I just brushed it off. There was no way in hell that someone from this school would actually care about me. I dragged my feet to my first period class. I really didn’t want to go to class, but I had to if I was going to keep all of my As. Yeah, I’m a girl that is bullied and hates school but gets good grades. I figured that it’s the best thing that I can do in this hell hole. Maybe I can get into a good college that won’t judge me like this school does. I could start all over.
Everyone started coming into the class and slumping down into their own seats. I could already feel eyes drilling holes in my head. Just a normal day for Dawn Fox. Although, it was soon changed when an older lady came strolling into the classroom. It wasn’t everyday that we had a substitute. That meant that everything was going to be worst than normal. My first period teacher never assigns work for us to do when we had a substitute. The one that we were having today was also the one that usually fell asleep during class.
The sub’s eyes fell shut. That was when everything went from silent to being like an orchestra without a director. Paper balls were being thrown at me. I could hear my name being spoken. At least they aren’t trying to start a fight with me like they usually do when our teacher wasn’t in. Most of the time, girl’s will start pulling on my hair and try pushing me out of my seat. I’ve become use to it, but it still hurt when the cherry red painted fingernails scratch at my skin when I refuse to do what they say.
I decided that I would listen to what others were saying of me. Sometimes it gave me inspiration to write another hate song. I focused my ears to Lily and her gang. They always talked about me, but surprisingly they weren’t today...
“He did what?” one of the Lily wannabe's exclaimed surprisingly.
“Yeah,” Lily said, “I can’t believe he did it either. He was all like ‘don’t you dare call her that! You just wish that you were more attractive than her’.”
“So what did you say?”
“I asked him if he thought scars on your arms were attractive. He said no, but he wasn’t going to have me push around either of us.” Did she mean me?
“The nerve of that guy.”
“I know, right? I mean, he was right that I was cheating on him, but that doesn’t make me less attractive than that les slut.”
She was definitely talking about me. I couldn’t believe it. Wait. She probably knows that I’m listening in, so she started telling lies. There was no way that they would get into a fight over me. I mean, he did stick up for me and ask me how I was, but that was probably all apart of his plan too. I should I known.
I didn’t want to take any more of this, so I went up to the sleeping teacher. “May I go to the bathroom?”
“Oh sure,” she replied still half asleep. “Just take a pass.”
I took one and went out the door. I wasn’t going to go to the bathroom though. I was going to go outside to the football field. I always went there when I wanted to be away from everyone and we had a sub. As soon as I was free from hell, I took a deep breath. Fall was my favorite season. I prefered the weather.
Once on the field, I went mid-way up the stands. I sat down and grabbed my notebook out of my bag. I ran my fingers on his black spine. So many emotions were in this book. Sometimes, it was hard to believe that it wasn’t falling apart from all of the unstable feelings. I turned to the song that I had finished the other day and started to sing it with my eyes closed.
“Darkness is filling my head,
I’m just laying in this bed,
Doing nothing but dying,
But you still won’t leave me alone,
So I’m left here crying.
You’ve caused blood to drip down my wrist,
I’m using the blood to make a list,
Of everything that you’ve done to hurt me,
Maybe one day you will see.
When I finally am not scared,
And I end it all,
It will be all your fault,
But you probably won’t care,
There isn’t a single prayer for me.
Darkness is filling my head,
I’m just laying in this bed,
Doing nothing but dying,
But you still won’t leave me alone,
So I’m left here crying.
You’re the reason why I’m dying,
Because of your mouth that is lying,
Lies are always spilling from your red lips,
I’ll just watch the eclipse,
When I finally am not scared,
And I end it all,
It will be all your fault,
But you probably won’t care,
There isn’t a single prayer for me.
I’m always losing blood,
I’m always having to raise my hood,
I’m always being pushed,
I’m always being hushed,
I’m always losing hope,
I’m always losing grip of the rope,
That keeps me alive.
Darkness is filling my head,
I’m just laying in this bed,
Doing nothing but dying,
But you still won’t leave me alone,
So I’m left here crying.”
My eyes opened when I heard that familiar voice. “You’re really good.” I just got up and brushed past him. I wasn’t going to fall for his tricks anymore. “I’m sorry for everything she has said to you.” I just continued walking. You’re doing to right thing, Dawn, but why do I feel like I should go and listen to him?
Today was going to be just like any other day. I just knew it. Of course my thoughts we confirmed when I was pushed into my locker the second that I had gotten to it. I didn’t even need to look back to see that is was a jock. Their pushes were always harder than the other students. This time, my face was what hit my locker. It was normally my shoulder or back, but there were always days like this where they got me as I was facing it.
“Are you ok?” Jack’s asked as he came up to his locker.
I just brushed it off. There was no way in hell that someone from this school would actually care about me. I dragged my feet to my first period class. I really didn’t want to go to class, but I had to if I was going to keep all of my As. Yeah, I’m a girl that is bullied and hates school but gets good grades. I figured that it’s the best thing that I can do in this hell hole. Maybe I can get into a good college that won’t judge me like this school does. I could start all over.
Everyone started coming into the class and slumping down into their own seats. I could already feel eyes drilling holes in my head. Just a normal day for Dawn Fox. Although, it was soon changed when an older lady came strolling into the classroom. It wasn’t everyday that we had a substitute. That meant that everything was going to be worst than normal. My first period teacher never assigns work for us to do when we had a substitute. The one that we were having today was also the one that usually fell asleep during class.
The sub’s eyes fell shut. That was when everything went from silent to being like an orchestra without a director. Paper balls were being thrown at me. I could hear my name being spoken. At least they aren’t trying to start a fight with me like they usually do when our teacher wasn’t in. Most of the time, girl’s will start pulling on my hair and try pushing me out of my seat. I’ve become use to it, but it still hurt when the cherry red painted fingernails scratch at my skin when I refuse to do what they say.
I decided that I would listen to what others were saying of me. Sometimes it gave me inspiration to write another hate song. I focused my ears to Lily and her gang. They always talked about me, but surprisingly they weren’t today...
“He did what?” one of the Lily wannabe's exclaimed surprisingly.
“Yeah,” Lily said, “I can’t believe he did it either. He was all like ‘don’t you dare call her that! You just wish that you were more attractive than her’.”
“So what did you say?”
“I asked him if he thought scars on your arms were attractive. He said no, but he wasn’t going to have me push around either of us.” Did she mean me?
“The nerve of that guy.”
“I know, right? I mean, he was right that I was cheating on him, but that doesn’t make me less attractive than that les slut.”
She was definitely talking about me. I couldn’t believe it. Wait. She probably knows that I’m listening in, so she started telling lies. There was no way that they would get into a fight over me. I mean, he did stick up for me and ask me how I was, but that was probably all apart of his plan too. I should I known.
I didn’t want to take any more of this, so I went up to the sleeping teacher. “May I go to the bathroom?”
“Oh sure,” she replied still half asleep. “Just take a pass.”
I took one and went out the door. I wasn’t going to go to the bathroom though. I was going to go outside to the football field. I always went there when I wanted to be away from everyone and we had a sub. As soon as I was free from hell, I took a deep breath. Fall was my favorite season. I prefered the weather.
Once on the field, I went mid-way up the stands. I sat down and grabbed my notebook out of my bag. I ran my fingers on his black spine. So many emotions were in this book. Sometimes, it was hard to believe that it wasn’t falling apart from all of the unstable feelings. I turned to the song that I had finished the other day and started to sing it with my eyes closed.
“Darkness is filling my head,
I’m just laying in this bed,
Doing nothing but dying,
But you still won’t leave me alone,
So I’m left here crying.
You’ve caused blood to drip down my wrist,
I’m using the blood to make a list,
Of everything that you’ve done to hurt me,
Maybe one day you will see.
When I finally am not scared,
And I end it all,
It will be all your fault,
But you probably won’t care,
There isn’t a single prayer for me.
Darkness is filling my head,
I’m just laying in this bed,
Doing nothing but dying,
But you still won’t leave me alone,
So I’m left here crying.
You’re the reason why I’m dying,
Because of your mouth that is lying,
Lies are always spilling from your red lips,
I’ll just watch the eclipse,
When I finally am not scared,
And I end it all,
It will be all your fault,
But you probably won’t care,
There isn’t a single prayer for me.
I’m always losing blood,
I’m always having to raise my hood,
I’m always being pushed,
I’m always being hushed,
I’m always losing hope,
I’m always losing grip of the rope,
That keeps me alive.
Darkness is filling my head,
I’m just laying in this bed,
Doing nothing but dying,
But you still won’t leave me alone,
So I’m left here crying.”
My eyes opened when I heard that familiar voice. “You’re really good.” I just got up and brushed past him. I wasn’t going to fall for his tricks anymore. “I’m sorry for everything she has said to you.” I just continued walking. You’re doing to right thing, Dawn, but why do I feel like I should go and listen to him?
Notes
I'm sorry this was late. My internet wasn't working right over the weekend, and my cat was cuddling with me yesterday when I started writing this. I didn't want to move because he was so cute. The song in the story is a song that I just wrote real quick. I write better songs. I just had to write one for this chapter and the next chapter.Anyway... time for thank yous...
Thank you:
Earthtoleah for commenting on Walls
Thanks:
SociallyAwkwardRocker
al12_alice
and biancav for commenting on I'll Paint You Wings, and I'll Set You Free
.time for thank yous....
Thanks to:
AkiPanda413
Silent Daydreamer
Tea And Fanfics
Barbielovesyou
and darkeyeddreamerr for commenting on Knots in the Ties
Thanks to:
Username666
Jenn54545
nathaliie
Soullust
Dreamer182
everything-anywhere
brookelynnxd
and askingreversees for commenting on Time-Bomb
I'd like to thank:
Username666
alleson
manageme123
JPARADOWSKI16
neverletjackdrive
nathaliie
Permanent_Jetlag
taylex5eva
Zaffhi
the amazing... askingreversees for commenting on The Experts Say I'm Delirious
Thanks to:
LoveByteHeart
biancav
and AkiPanda413 for friending me
Thanks:askingreversees for excepting my friend request (if you did't I would have killed you)
and also Thanks to:
choliecole
and Ayana Sioux for commenting on my poem A Mirror Never Lies
I love you all! Don't forget to comment! I really love it when you do. It makes me want to write more and makes me feel all warm inside. Love you!
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Thanks you! You just made the rest of my day. I hadn't had a comment on this story before you did even on mibba, so thank you very much!
12/17/12