Matt Flyzik, I Love You
Finally Broken Down
Zack's POV
It was Alex.
I knew from his Baltimore accent and sandy brown hair.
"A...alex" I sobbed, turning back and crying into my knees again.
Alex rushed over and placed an arm over my shoulder.
"Dude, it's okay" he whispered.
"No it's fucking not, Alex! Nothing is ever okay for me!" I cried.
This wasn't just about Matt, this was jealousy. I didn't mind Alex and Jack having more fans than me but the fact they always stole the show and only they ever spoke annoyed me into oblivion. And how I work out so much, get a good set of muscles on me and still no fucking fan or girl likes me. Yeah, I'm gay but thats proberly why. No fucking girl ever noticed me. It was always Barakat and Gaskarth. I was known as the quiet guy who always worked out. People didn't know me. Or my life story. The shit that ⓘ had to fucking go through to get here and the shit I still have now.
"Why, Zack?" Ale soothed, rubbing my back.
"Because I'm in love with fucking Flyzik, dude! And he's straight!" I sobbed.
Alex rested his head in my shoulder and sigh.
"How long have you liked him?" Alex whispered.
"Since Emerald Moon" I replied, shutting my eyes and letting the cold air brush against my bare arms. I enjoyed moments with Alex.
On stage, he came across as sensitive, which he was but he really cared about others as well as himself and his hair.
"That long? Shit" he replied.
The next few moments were silence, other than the July air whistling around us.
"Well, I don't know then" Alex finally spoke, breaking the silence.
That's helpful, Alex!
"I mean, he's straight theres nothing you can do" he shrugged and sigh again.
"Your reverse psychology isn't working, Alex" I chuckled.
Alex laughed, as well. "Ah well" he said. "C'mon, lets go back" he continued, standing up and holding out his hand.
I froze.
"No, I can't go back. They'll just keep asking why I left and saying my name over and over again. And he'll be there, Alex. I can't see him whilst I'm like this. Puffy red eyes and broken"
Alex still had his hand out to me, and he wiggled his fingers at me.
"C'mon, I'll get everyone drunk and you can suck Matt's face off" he laughed.
"As fun as that sounds, dude...can you not tell anyone about this?" I asked, quietly.
"Course. Now...lets go!" He repeated and grabbed my hand, pulling me back to the bus.
*
I stayed outside the tour bus, in the cold breeze, for a while. Alex has already gone in and started to get everyone drunk. His exactly words were "get Matt ready for my sugar". It made me laugh, Alex made me laugh in general.
I pushed myself off the side of the tour bus and yanked open the door. Stumbling up the steps, I looked around.
Vinny and Alex sat on the couch; Vinny doing his impressions and Alex laughing and applauding like a child. Jack was standing in the center, topless and in his underwear and shouting random things whilst holding a beer bottle in one hand. Rian, Clousy, Danny, another Alex and Matt were sat around the table; drinking and laughing.
Matt spun around and noticed me. He shot up and flew his arms around me.
"Zaaaack, why did you leave me?" He slurred, cuddling into my chest.
Being our tour manager, Matt never got too drunk. He always claimed he was busy and wanted to be responcable. The only time he would get wasted were when weren't on tour. So this was a surprise.
A boost of confidence came from nowhere as I took a swig of his beer and replied "I'm sorry, baby".
His eyes glittered with happiness; proberly because I was playing along to his drunken state.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the couch. I sat down first and Matt jumped onto my lap, straddling me.
Best position ever!
His gentle fingers stroked my face as his lip ring glimmered against the light.
"You're beautiful, Merrick" he slurred again.
I blushed and grabbed his face.
"You're wasted, Flyzik! Go get sober before we do things we'll regret" I said, my heart sinking.
As much as I wnted the feeling of Matt's warm lips and cold piercing on me, I was responsible and didn't want to throw away our friendship over a awkward drunken kiss.
Matt shook his head. "Just kiss me, Zack" he whined.
"No. Goodness, Matt, you're like a child" I laughed, pushing him off my lap and onto the couch.
He whined in responce but I ignored him and grabbed a beer from the fridge.
I let the cold, toxic drink slide down my throat and within twenty seconds, it was finished. I let out a breath I'd been holding in and grabbed another beverage, this one a beer.
I suddenly felt a pair of arms slip around my waist, and the hands tangle together, trapping me.
"You couldn't stay away, could you?" I grinned spinning round only to be met with Jack's face.
"Jack!" I gasped. He quickly released me and laughed.
"Aw, expecting you're little Flyzik was you?" He teased.
"No!" I replied and stumbled over to the iPod dock. I flicked through the songs before find the one I wanted. I clicked it and was greeted with murmurs of agreement.
"Turn it up, Zachary!" Alex yelled.
I dragged the volume button up as the sound of Blink 182 filled the bus.
I chose my favourite Blink song; I Miss You.
I turned back to Matt.
He was sitting on the couch, in the same position as I was earlier and sobbing.
It was Alex.
I knew from his Baltimore accent and sandy brown hair.
"A...alex" I sobbed, turning back and crying into my knees again.
Alex rushed over and placed an arm over my shoulder.
"Dude, it's okay" he whispered.
"No it's fucking not, Alex! Nothing is ever okay for me!" I cried.
This wasn't just about Matt, this was jealousy. I didn't mind Alex and Jack having more fans than me but the fact they always stole the show and only they ever spoke annoyed me into oblivion. And how I work out so much, get a good set of muscles on me and still no fucking fan or girl likes me. Yeah, I'm gay but thats proberly why. No fucking girl ever noticed me. It was always Barakat and Gaskarth. I was known as the quiet guy who always worked out. People didn't know me. Or my life story. The shit that ⓘ had to fucking go through to get here and the shit I still have now.
"Why, Zack?" Ale soothed, rubbing my back.
"Because I'm in love with fucking Flyzik, dude! And he's straight!" I sobbed.
Alex rested his head in my shoulder and sigh.
"How long have you liked him?" Alex whispered.
"Since Emerald Moon" I replied, shutting my eyes and letting the cold air brush against my bare arms. I enjoyed moments with Alex.
On stage, he came across as sensitive, which he was but he really cared about others as well as himself and his hair.
"That long? Shit" he replied.
The next few moments were silence, other than the July air whistling around us.
"Well, I don't know then" Alex finally spoke, breaking the silence.
That's helpful, Alex!
"I mean, he's straight theres nothing you can do" he shrugged and sigh again.
"Your reverse psychology isn't working, Alex" I chuckled.
Alex laughed, as well. "Ah well" he said. "C'mon, lets go back" he continued, standing up and holding out his hand.
I froze.
"No, I can't go back. They'll just keep asking why I left and saying my name over and over again. And he'll be there, Alex. I can't see him whilst I'm like this. Puffy red eyes and broken"
Alex still had his hand out to me, and he wiggled his fingers at me.
"C'mon, I'll get everyone drunk and you can suck Matt's face off" he laughed.
"As fun as that sounds, dude...can you not tell anyone about this?" I asked, quietly.
"Course. Now...lets go!" He repeated and grabbed my hand, pulling me back to the bus.
*
I stayed outside the tour bus, in the cold breeze, for a while. Alex has already gone in and started to get everyone drunk. His exactly words were "get Matt ready for my sugar". It made me laugh, Alex made me laugh in general.
I pushed myself off the side of the tour bus and yanked open the door. Stumbling up the steps, I looked around.
Vinny and Alex sat on the couch; Vinny doing his impressions and Alex laughing and applauding like a child. Jack was standing in the center, topless and in his underwear and shouting random things whilst holding a beer bottle in one hand. Rian, Clousy, Danny, another Alex and Matt were sat around the table; drinking and laughing.
Matt spun around and noticed me. He shot up and flew his arms around me.
"Zaaaack, why did you leave me?" He slurred, cuddling into my chest.
Being our tour manager, Matt never got too drunk. He always claimed he was busy and wanted to be responcable. The only time he would get wasted were when weren't on tour. So this was a surprise.
A boost of confidence came from nowhere as I took a swig of his beer and replied "I'm sorry, baby".
His eyes glittered with happiness; proberly because I was playing along to his drunken state.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the couch. I sat down first and Matt jumped onto my lap, straddling me.
Best position ever!
His gentle fingers stroked my face as his lip ring glimmered against the light.
"You're beautiful, Merrick" he slurred again.
I blushed and grabbed his face.
"You're wasted, Flyzik! Go get sober before we do things we'll regret" I said, my heart sinking.
As much as I wnted the feeling of Matt's warm lips and cold piercing on me, I was responsible and didn't want to throw away our friendship over a awkward drunken kiss.
Matt shook his head. "Just kiss me, Zack" he whined.
"No. Goodness, Matt, you're like a child" I laughed, pushing him off my lap and onto the couch.
He whined in responce but I ignored him and grabbed a beer from the fridge.
I let the cold, toxic drink slide down my throat and within twenty seconds, it was finished. I let out a breath I'd been holding in and grabbed another beverage, this one a beer.
I suddenly felt a pair of arms slip around my waist, and the hands tangle together, trapping me.
"You couldn't stay away, could you?" I grinned spinning round only to be met with Jack's face.
"Jack!" I gasped. He quickly released me and laughed.
"Aw, expecting you're little Flyzik was you?" He teased.
"No!" I replied and stumbled over to the iPod dock. I flicked through the songs before find the one I wanted. I clicked it and was greeted with murmurs of agreement.
"Turn it up, Zachary!" Alex yelled.
I dragged the volume button up as the sound of Blink 182 filled the bus.
I chose my favourite Blink song; I Miss You.
I turned back to Matt.
He was sitting on the couch, in the same position as I was earlier and sobbing.
Love you
6/30/13