Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That’s all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.

- William Butler Yeats, “A Drinking Song”

Just stepping into the second bar gave Alex a headache. The 302 was infamous for being loud and bright, and it held up its reputation. There were pink and purple strobe lights flashing intensely and a club remix of an Ariana Grande song was pulsing so loudly that Alex could feel the bass in his feet and chest.

Alex was already tipsy by the time he and his friends reached the 302. There, he had several more shots, but this time, he’d switched to Grey Goose. He sipped on a few more beers and had a fruity cocktail, too, just to treat himself. In all honesty, Alex would much rather have that or a glass of wine, but tonight wasn’t about enjoying himself; it was about surviving. Alex’s head was already spinning and he could feel all of the liquor collecting and sloshing in his stomach. There was bile in the back of his throat and he felt nauseous. He and his friends were seated in the corner of the club drinking even more. At this point, most of the guys were trashed, stumbling and tripping over their own feet. Alex was watching Jack giggle with his head thrown back, that childish laugh that he knew by heart, that he hadn’t heard in a while. It was easy for Alex’s mind to conjure up different reasons for this, but they were all self-serving and not at all the truth. He imagined that Jack was happy and smiling because he was with his friends, not Caitlin, having a good time with all responsibilities forgotten. In reality, Jack was finally grown up. It had taken forever, but it was happening right before Alex’s eyes and it was as if all of his worst fears were coming true. Jack was changing. Jack was leaving Alex behind. He was getting married, going to buy a house and start a family. Alex was nowhere near that.

The remnants of the vodka in Alex's glass burned his throat and he swallowed it bitterly, forcing himself to look away from his best friend. Instead, he chose to focus on Vinny, who was resurrecting his bit in which he treated liquor as puppets. Alex couldn't help but laugh, but he also couldn't stop his eyes from jumping back to Jack, wanting to know how he was reacting. Jack was giggling even harder, his fists clenched and his dark eyes filling with tears. Alex felt a pang in his chest; he wanted to hold that laugh close to his heart forever.

Alex did not fall in love with Jack at first sight. It took years, actually. After all, he and Jack were not friends instantly; Jack had been wary of Alex’s private school past and cocky attitude. Alex had been wary of the dorky, kind of ugly kid in his physical science class that claimed to know more about rock music than him. Even so, it didn’t take long for the the two of them to become close friends. Alex admired Jack’s drive and his utter love of life and music. Jack had introduced him to Blink-182 and convinced him to start a band with him. They were so inseparable that it was weird for Alex when Jack wasn’t around. Alex could remember the day Jack first played Blink for him like it was only the day before.

Jack loved hanging out at Alex’s house because it was big and Alex had a giant room to himself. He also had no siblings, so no one but Alex’s parents could bother them. They rarely did, though, because Jack kept Alex busy and they loved Jack. He was a weird boy, but a sweet one and they knew that he cared for Alex very much.

Alex had been listening to an old Sublime album when Jack arrived one day. Jack had just walked straight through the front door, yelled a hello to Peter and Isobel, and gone upstairs to Alex’s room, throwing the door open and stepping inside.

“Good thing I wasn't jerking off,” Alex laughed from his bed, where he sat cross-legged. He smirked to hide the fact that his heart was pounding and that he could hardly keep from grinning from ear-to-ear. Being around Jack made him so happy. He was Alex’s favorite person in the world.

Jack rolled his eyes, stopping in front of Alex’s expensive stereo. “As if you’ve hit puberty yet. Why are you listening to this old-ass record, dude?

Alex shrugged, still chuckling. “My room, my music, loser.”

Ignoring Alex, Jack stopped the disc and then took the CD out of the player.

“Hey!” Alex exclaimed, but Jack kept ignoring him. He pulled a CD case out of the back pocket of his skinny jeans and took out the disc, sliding it into the player.

"What's this?” Alex asked, as Jack pressed play.

“Shh," Jack shushed, padding across the room to sit down beside Alex.

It's understood, I said it many ways, too scared to run, I'm too scared stay.

Alex hadn’t known it yet, but he was hearing the opening lyrics to “Dumpweed” by Blink-182, and Jack had brought over Enema of the State for him to listen to. Jack had been obsessed with them for years, thanks to his older brother, and he wanted more than anything to share them with Alex. He frowned, listening to the way that the instruments combined and how…weirdly angry and fast the vocals were. He listened to the entire song without saying anything and he was surprised to hear a
different voice when the second track started.

“Don't Leave Me” was strangely upbeat musically for the dark lyrical content. But at the same time, the lyrics were a bit goofy, too. Alex was enthralled. He stayed quiet until “Adam’s Song.” That was when Alex started crying. He hadn’t been expected the sad lyrics at all, and he was surprised at how different this song was from the others. He had always been an emotional boy and for some reason, this one had really gotten to him.

“Bro, are you crying?” Jack asked with a little chuckle, wrapping an arm around him.

Alex sniffled and wiped at his eyes. “Shut up,” he whimpered. “Leave me alone.”

Jack smiled softly, hugging Alex tight. “It’s no big deal. This song is a bummer. I think I'd be more concerned if you weren’t sad.”

Alex felt a little thump in his chest and he leaned into Jack’s shoulder.

The rest of the album went smoothly, and as “Anthem” ended, Jack turned to Alex.

“Well, what did you think of Blink?” he asked.

With a smile, Alex shrugged. “They were…something. Something good.”

Jack’s face lit up. “Then let’s listen to it again!”

From then on, Alex listened to Blink-182 nonstop. It wasn't just that Jack had introduced them to him. No, it was that he had genuinely loved something that Jack had shown him and it was something that they could share forever. It meant everything to him.

Of course, Alex didn’t know the exact moment that he fell in love with Jack, but he did know the moment that he realized it. It was shortly after they had recorded The Party Scene and they were performing “Lullabies” for the first time. It was rough for Alex to be so vulnerable publicly, since this was about his brother. His brother, who had died when Alex was only twelve years old. He'd idolized his brother and his death was the first one that Alex had been old enough to truly understand. It showed him that life was so temporary and how simply and quickly the people he loved most could be taken from him. Jack could tell that Alex was struggling and he gave Alex a smile as they readied themselves to change songs.

“Just keep your eyes on me,” Jack whispered, still smiling.

And Alex did, singing and watching as Jack very carefully played guitar, his focus never wavering. When Alex could feel the tears brimming in his eyes, he began singing directly to Jack and ruffling his hair. At some point during the song, their eyes locked and Alex could feel something that was not unlike his heart growing wings and soaring into the clouds. He'd never felt like that with anyone before, not his high school girlfriend or any of the girls that he had dated casually. Alex had also never had a strong attraction to a guy before, either, but it wasn't the attraction that scared him; it was the love that he felt for Jack. Through that performance, throughout high school, Jack had been there for him. He’d been his rock. And Jack hadn't known it, but he’d been Alex’s everything.

From there, it just grew stronger. They graduated high school and started touring all of the time, which of course gave way to groupies and girls in bars and even longterm girlfriends. Luckily for Alex, Jack didn’t have a lot of the latter. Unfortunately for Alex, Jack had a lot of the former. Jack took to the rock-and-roll party lifestyle pretty well, not unlike the rest of the band, but Alex really didn’t care for sleeping around. Not like Jack, anyway. And as far as Alex knew, Jack loved women and only women. He’d never experienced a guy that talked about boobs as much as his best friend. A lot of people thought that it was funny, others found it annoying, but for Alex, it was torturous and no matter how many girls and guys he met throughout the many tours they’d been on over the years, he couldn’t make himself really see anyone but Jack.

“Hey, Al,” Rian slurred, putting a hand on Alex’s shoulder to level himself and he stood up. “We should dance.”

Alex looked up at Rian. It felt like Rian was swaying back and forth slowly and maybe he was, but it was more likely because Alex was hammered. “No thanks,” he replied. Alex had always loved to dance, especially when he’d been drinking, but he just wasn't in the mood.

“Oh, come on,” Rian drawled, throwing an arm around Alex. “Quit being so boring. You’ve barely said anything all night.”

Sighing, Alex nodded and stood up. Rian, as annoying as he was right now, was correct. If Alex wanted to maintain a sense of normalcy, then he was going to have to behave like himself.

Alex followed Rian onto the dance floor where Zack had managed to find a cute brunette to grind on. Vinny, Flyzik, and Grieco were attempting to dance in a circle near them. Alex awkwardly tried to follow whatever odd movements that Rian was doing, which mostly included stomping his feet and nodding his head. Alex was usually a much better dancer than this, but he didn't really feel like twerking or dropping it when his stomach was so queasy. Throwing up was one thing, throwing up on the dance floor was something completely different. He tried to keep his eyes closed so that the lights wouldn’t make him feel sicker, but it was to no avail. Only about three minutes into swaying in the middle of the hot floor saw Alex covering his mouth and running off to the graffiti’d restroom.

Alex barely made it without vomiting as he escaped into one of the stalls and then bent over the toilet. He gagged once before he retched violently. Alex emptied the contents of his stomach until he was drive-heaving and drooling, tears in his eyes. He coughed a couple times and then took a deep breath. Alex rested his arm against the toilet and then pressed his forehead against it, closing his eyes. The music from the club was still faint in his ears, but at least there were no colorful strobe lights around to feel like needles shoved into his eyes.

“Hey, Alex?” a very familiar voice called out from outside of the stall.

Taking a deep breath, Alex closed his eyes. “I’m in here, Jack.” After, Alex heard footsteps come toward him. He didn't know if he was relieved or annoyed or embarrassed. Maybe he was all three.

Since Alex had the stall door unlocked, Jack pushed it open and stood in the entryway of it. Alex barely lifted his head so that he could see his friend and his heart skipped a beat. Jack was smiling was so genuinely, his eyes full of concern. Overall, he just looked incredible to Alex, like he always did. He was dressed in typical Jack fashion: dark jeans, a black jacket over a gray t-shirt, black boots, and his spade necklace.

“Are you okay?” Jack asked, reaching a hand out to gently rub Alex’s back. “You need some water or something?”

Alex shook his head slowly, still feeling a bit dizzy. “No…Well, eventually I probably will want some, but I need to catch my breath.”

Jack moved his hand to Alex’s shoulder and squeezed it. “I haven't seen you get sick from alcohol since like…the House Party tour.” He didn’t say it, but Alex could tell that Jack was suspicious.

Alex forced out a chuckle. “Yeah, I guess I went a little harder at the restaurant than I meant to. I was just really excited.”

As Alex finished speaking, Jack raised an eyebrow and gave him a specific look, one that showed that he wasn’t convinced that what Alex was saying was true. “Yeah?” he asked, haphazardly. “Well,
maybe you’ll be better now since you puked. But still, you might wanna take it easy from here on out.”

Frowning, Alex took another deep breath and stood up a bit shakily. Jack was weirdly sober for this time of the night and for it to be his bachelor party. Still, he decided not to press it; maybe he couldn’t commit to drinking the way that he used to, not when Caitlin had helped him with his drinking. Alex wouldn't call the amount that Jack used to drink a problem, but it was definitely what he had used to cope and how he managed a lot of stressful and/or social situations. On one hand, Alex was glad that Jack was healthier, both mentally and physically, but on the other, it had hurt to see Jack change. Alex didn’t think that alcohol fundamentally made up who Jack was. Of course not. He’d known Jack forever and he hadn't been too different sober vs. drunk when they were younger, but as they got older, sober Jack had been quieter, sadder, less fun. Now, sober Jack was still a bit quiet and a little less fun, but he wasn’t sad and that was all that mattered. Alex didn’t know if the difference was Jack cutting down on how much he drank or if it was just the presence of Caitlin, but regardless, Jack was better.

“I will,” Alex said with a nod, facing Jack. “I’m just gonna rinse my mouth out and then I think I can get back out there. My head hurts, though.”

Jack stepped out of the way so that Alex could get to a sink. “Probably just need some water, but if you don't feel better soon, I’m sure we can scrounge you up some ibuprofen.”

Alex chuckled softly and then bent over the sink, cupping his hands to catch some water. He swished it around in his mouth and then gargled before he spat back into the sink. When he straightened up, Jack handed him a brown paper towel and squeezed his shoulder.

“Thanks,” Alex said, taking the paper towel and drying his hands and face.

Jack smiled and nodded. “No problem, man.” Jack kept his arm around Alex as they headed back out to the main area of the club and Alex felt a flutter in his chest. Jack had always been so kind and good to Alex — it was probably why they had been such good friends for so long. They stopped at the bar in front of a blonde bartender who wore a lot of blush and highlighter.

“Can you get my friend a tall glass of ice water?” Jack asked the bartender, flashing her a smile.

“Anything for you,” she told Alex with a smirk, turning around and filling a glass for him.

Jack nudged him and grinned. “Tonight’s really your night, dude. First the waitress, now the bartender. You’re gonna have your pick of the hottest food service girls in LA.” He laughed at his own joke.

Alex’s stomach lurched again as the bartender slid his glass across the bar, but this time it wasn’t from a copious amount of alcohol. “Thanks,” he muttered to the bartender.

‘No problem at all, cutie,” she said with a wink before turning to a customer to Jack’s left.

As he took a sip of his water, Alex realized that he had singlehandedly taken up a good chunk of Jack’s time here. He felt guilty and immediately began to apologize. “Jack, I’m fine. I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful. Go have fun. This is your last outing as a single man.” The last line tasted worse than straight gold tequila and it burned more, too.

Jack laughed, shaking his head and throwing an arm around Alex. “Dude, I chased after you. Don’t even fucking worry about it. You’ve done the same for me how many times?”

Alex shrugged and looked away, noting how Zack had lost the brunette and was now sitting off by himself, looking a bit solemn. “I guess.”

Jack clapped Alex on the back and grinned, not noticing what Alex was looking at. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go dance like a white guy. Feel free to join me once you’re feeling better.”

Forcing a smile, Alex nodded. He watched Jack walk over to Rian and join him in his terrible dancing and Alex realized that Zack had been staring at Rian. He didn’t know what was going on, but whatever it was, he could definitely relate to not having a good time. Still, Alex wouldn’t call this the worst night of his life.

He still had Jack’s wedding to get through.

Notes

Sorry that this took so long, my loves. I've done multiple edits on it. I'm not sure why I'm suddenly such a perfectionist when it comes to fanfic. A quick look at, well, any of my older stuff would make you wonder, too. Lmao but whatever, here's chapter 3. As always, much love to my beta, writergirl-26 on tumblr. :)