Infinity

Those three weeks passed way too slowly when I finally got the call I was waiting for.

"Ms. Townshed?"

"This is her."

"I have the results of your mammogram. We found results of a mass that were inclusive. You're gonna need a biopsy."

Just as I expected.

"How fast can I schedule an appointment?"

I heard footsteps walk toward me and that person sat next to me; turns out, it was Alex.

"Oh, that quickly?" I said after the lady on the phone answered.

After further discussion, I set an appointment while I had an arm around my waist. I turned to kiss him once I hung up.

“Hey.” I said.

“Hey. How’d it go?”

“I’ll tell you when Zack’s here.”

“You sure?” he asked, kissing my neck.

“100%”

“Damnit.”

I laughed and kissed his cheek. Zack came through the front door with groceries twenty minutes later.

“Some help, please?”

“Nope. I’ll pass.” I said, getting more comfortable.

“Me too.”

“Seriously?”

“I am.”

“I’ll help.”

“Maybe Alex needs punishing this time.” Zack said.

“I love the sound of it. Could I help?”

“Of course.”

“Guys...”

“That’s it. Your turn to be punished tonight.”

He groaned. I laughed and went over to kiss him.

“We love you.”

I then kissed Zack and helped me bring in groceries; Alex actually never helped us, so I knew how harsh his punishment would turn out to be.

“You are so bad.” Zack said, crawling into his lap.

“The baddest.” he said, pulling him closer to him.

I watched for a minute then proceeded to put away groceries and let them have some alone time. Five minutes later, I was done and walked back to find the cutest sight of them asleep in each other’s arms. I found a blanket and covered them up just leaving myself with my thoughts, the thoughts that I wanted to talk about with them. I took this as an opportunity to clean our messy bedroom and dirty bathroom. Unfortunately, I wasn’t accompanied by the dogs, so I was doing it alone.

How the fuck did our bedroom get so messy?

I had to distract myself and If was the way to do it, then so be it. I put on headphones and pressed play on my phone.

There might be something outside your window
But you just never know
There could be something right past the turnpike gates
But you'll just never know

If my velocity starts to make you sweat,
Then just don't let go
And if the Heaven ain't got a vacancy
Then we just, then we just, then we just
Then we just get up and go!

Ladies and gentlemen:
Truth is now acceptable
Fame is now injectable
Process the progress
This core is critical
Faith is unavailable
Lives become incredible
Now, please understand that,

I can't slow down
I won't be waiting for you
I can't stop now
Because I'm dancing
This planet's ours to defend
Ain't got no time to pretend
Don't fuck around,
This is our last chance

If my velocity starts to make you sweat
Then just don't let go
'Cause the emergency room got no vacancy
And we just, and we just, and we just
And we just get up and go!

(Who) they want you to be
(Who) they wanted to see
(Go) kill the party with me
And never go home
(Who) they want you to be
(Who) they wanted to see
Just leave the party with me, and never go home

You're unbelievable
Ah, so unbelievable
Ah, you ruin everything
Oh, you better go home
I'm unbelievable
Yeah, I'm undefeatable
Yeah, let's ruin everything,
Blast it to the back row

They're sell-presentable
Young, and so ingestible
Sterile and collectible
Safe, and I can't stand it
This is a letter my word
Is the Beretta
The sound of my vendetta
Against the ones who planned it

If my velocity starts to make you sweat
Then just don't let go
'Cause the emergency room got no vacancy
Tell me who do you trust,
Do you trust
And we just
Get up and go!

(Who) they want you to be
(Who) they wanted to see
(Go) kill the party with me
And never go home
(Who) they want you to be
(Who) they wanted to see
Just leave the party with me, and never go home

You keep eternity,
Give us the radio
Deploy the battery,
We're taking back control
Engage the energy,
Light up the effigy
No chance to take it slow,
By now I'm sure you
Know, know, know, know, know, know
(1, 2, 3, go!)
Get up and go!

(Who) they want you to be
(Who) they wanted to see
(Go) kill the party with me
And never go home
(Who) they want you to be
(Who) they wanted to see
Just leave the party with me, and never go home

Are we still having fun?
Are you holding the gun?
Take the money and run
We'll never go home

I've got nothing to lose
You've got nothing to say
And we're leaving today
We'll never go home

I think I better go now
I think I better go now
I think I better go now
Gonna go now, gonna go now, gonna go now, gonna go now
Go now, gonna go now
Go home!

I was interrupted when I felt a hand on my ass. I smacked whoever it was on his hand when I turned around; unsurprisingly, it was Alex.

"Whatcha listenin' to?" he asked as if nothing happened.

"Aren't you gonna apologize? You scared the shit out of me."

I was a bit more on edge since that phone call. I heard Zack running up the stairs.

"What's wrong?"

"Ask him."

"Alex, what'd you do?"

"I touched her ass to get her attention and she freaked out."

I rolled my eyes.

"I was listening to music on my headphones when he did that and asked what I was listening to like it was nothing. I'm on edge, for fucks' sake."

"You are such an ass. Say you're sorry." Zack said.

"I'm sorry. So, what are you-?"

I was working in the bathroom when this all happened.

"Just let me be." I said, sitting on the floor.

"Who?"

"Both of you."

"What the fuck is going on with you?"

"Do you even know how to talk to a woman?"

"That's a very good question. So, what's wrong?" Zack asked, touching my shoulder.

He has a way of calming me down and getting me to talk when I don’t want to that I love even when I don’t want him to do it. I motioned for him to sit down beside me.

“Want me to stay or leave?”

“If you can stop being an asshole, you can stay. If not, you can get the fuck out of here. So, what’s it gonna be?”

He shut the door and sat down on the other side of me, but I cuddled up next to Zack like I usually do when I’m feeling down or in bed.

“I got the results from my mammogram this morning.”

“What’d they say?” Zack asked.

“Results were inclusive. I’m going in for a biopsy next week. I know it’s just a biopsy, but it’s already getting to me.”

“How long’s it take for a biopsy?” Alex asked.

“Normally 2-3 days, but if it’s more complex 7-10 days. I really hope it’s not the second one.”

I felt Zack’s lips on the top of my head.

“You guys are coming with me. I’m going to have go under anesthesia and that’s nerve-wracking in and of itself. This can’t even be simple.”

“Jeez...you’ve never even been under anesthesia.” Zack said.

“Yeah. A whole lot of fun’s to be had next week.” I tried to joke.

They didn’t laugh.

“I can deal with it anyway. The bravest thing I’ve ever done is telling my parents about us. Speaking of my parents, if this proves to be cancer, I’m gonna have to tell them.”

“You’re not telling them about the biopsy?” Alex asked.

“They don’t need you unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

I really hope it’s not absolutely necessary.

Notes

Song courtesy of Planetary(Go!) by My Chemical Romance.