Failure’s not flattering
“You don’t have to come round if you don’t want to. It was just something what my dad suggested.” Alex said on the other end of the phone and I couldn’t help but smile as I sat on my bed having a few minutes of peace.
“I’ll come round, I mean it’ll be nice to have something different than beans on toast or whatever.” I said and I hear Alex let out a breath he must of been holding in.
“Okay, what time will suit you to come round?” Alex asked and I looked at the time now and hoped Ella was pissed yet so she could look after Hallie and mum for a few hours while I was round Alex’s.
“Is 6 okay with you?” I asked just throwing out a random time.
“Yeah that sounds great. I’ll text you my address and hopefully you’ll find it.” Alex said and I smiled as I looked down and picked at my bedding.
“I’m sure I’ll find it. See you later.” I said.
“See you later.” Alex said and he hung up and after a few seconds he sent me his address and I looked at and it was an address for the posh area in the town.
I got up and went downstairs to talk to Ella as she was helpful when she was sober.
“I think Alex is taking me on a date.” I said as I sat next to her on the sofa as she watched some crap on tv.
“Why do you say that?” Ella asked as she looked at me and you could see she wasn’t well but I couldn’t force her to get help.
“Because he’s just invited me round to his house and have a meal with his family.” I said and Ella smiled.
“Please say you said yes.” Ella said as she turned round to face me.
“For once I actually did say yes.” I said as I looked down.
“Hey, don’t worry I’ll look after mum and Hallie and you go and have a lovely time out.” Ella said and I looked at her.
“You sure you can cope? I can always cancel.” I said and Ella frowned at me.
“Don’t be fucking stupid Jack. I can cope you just need to focus on lover boy.” Ella said and I just rolled my eyes at her.
“He’s not my lover boy.” I said and Ella scoffed as she rolled her eyes.
“Yeah he is. I mean he stares at you like he is ready to rip you out of your clothes. He practically worships the ground you walk on.” Ella said and I raised a eyebrow at her.
“Well that’s a load of bullshit.” I said as I stood up.
“He wouldn’t be asking you round to his house if he wasn’t interested in you.” Ella said as I walked out the room and got ready.
I walked through this neighborhood and felt really out of place.
All the houses was huge compared to my house and each house had at 3 cars parked in each driveway and they weren’t even cheap cars either, I guessed that the gates which stopped people walking into their homes was electric and for once I felt ashamed for where I lived and I was jealous that everyone here would have everything handed to them on a plate and I had to do everything I could just to put just a bit of food on the table and to stop social services taking Hallie away from me.
I sighed loudly and looked down and carried on walking to Alex’s house.
I got to Alex’s house and I looked around his and you could pretty much feel the gayness from the house which made me smile for some reason and I took a deep breath and knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer the door.
A few seconds later someone answered the door and it was Alex and he smiled which he saw it was me.
“Hey Jack, come on in.” Alex said as he opened the door a bit wider for me to be able to walk in the house which I did and as soon as I walked in the house my eyes started to wonder.
“Want to take your jacket off?” Alex said and I looked at him and remembered that I only put a T-shirt on under my jacket so I shook my head so Alex didn’t think I was more of a freak than what I was already.
“No, it’s fine thanks.” I said quietly and Alex smiled.
“Alex is that your friend?” A man asked which made me jump and I looked and saw this really attractive man walk over.
“Yeah, Danny this is Jack, Jack this is my stepdad Danny.” Alex said and Danny offered me his hand which I took and shook.
“Your father will be home in an hour since his surgery over ran or something. You two will be able to hang on until then for food won’t you?” Danny said and Alex nodded.
“Yeah we’ll be able to wait. But it better be worth it Danny.” Alex said and Danny chuckled.
“Go on through to the sitting room and find a film. Can’t be dealing with standing in the kitchen while I wait for you dad to returned.” Danny said and Alex rolled his eyes.
“Go and have some wine princess.” Alex said and Danny playfully glared at Alex.
“Come on Jack, let’s go outside away from the drama queen.” Alex said and he caught hold of my hand and he took me outside.
“Never told me you was a little posh boy.” I said as I sat down on the edge of the pool and took my shoes and socks off and rolled my jeans up and put my feet in the pool.
Alex smiled and he sat down next to me and he put his feet in the pool.
“I’m not a posh boy.” Alex chuckled.
“Posh neighborhood, both your dads are surgeons, you have a spanking new car in the driveway. Your house is huge and you have a swimming pool in your garden. You are a little posh boy.” I said and Alex flicked some water up with his foot which made me smile a genuine smile.
“Don’t.” I chuckled and Alex smiled at me.
“Okay, to settle this argument I am a posh but I don’t act posh.” Alex said and I chuckled.
“You British accent makes you sound more posher than what you are.” I said and Alex smiled as he looked at me and I looked at my feet in the water.
“Don’t hate the accent.” Alex said and I looked at him and smiled.
“Couldn’t hate it if I tried. It’s kinda cute.” I said and Alex looked at me and smiled.
“Well thanks.” Alex said and he looked up and I turned and looked up and I quickly looked down when I saw the person.
“Hey dad, about time your home I’m starving.” Alex said as he stood up and he looked at me.
“Come on Jack. Lets some food.” Alex said softly and I nodded and I stood up and we walked to where the food was.
“So Jack, you live with your mum and dad or any siblings?” Alex’s Dad asked.
“My dad is in prison and my mum is really ill. My older sister is an alcoholic and my little sister has Down’s syndrome. So I might as well say I have no family.” I said as I looked down and I could feel eyes looking at me.
“Touchy subject dad, I’ve already told you this.” Alex said as he kicked his dad under the table.
“It’s fine.” I said quietly.
“Alex said you both was surgeons what do you do?” I asked as I looked at the both of them feeling a bit awkward.
“I’m a cardio surgeon.” Danny said.
“I’m a trauma surgeon.” Alex’s Dad and I nodded.
We sat in silence for a while everyone was eating.
“What did you want to be if you was still at school?” Alex’s Dad asked.
“I wanted to work in care. But I don’t know anymore.” I said quietly.
“You can still do that, you don’t need any qualifications. Just common sense and a lot of hard work and you can do what you want to do in life.” Alex’s Dad said.
“Dad he doesn’t need a life lesson right now.” Alex said and I stood up.
“I need to go home.” I said quietly and I walked off.
“Jack, Jack. Slow down you have longer legs than me.” Alex said as he gently caught hold of my arm.
“What’s going on?” Alex asked as he gently guided me back to his house where we sat on the porch.
“Your life is so perfect.” I said quietly as I looked down and sniffed.
“It might seem perfect but it wasn’t always perfect.” Alex said.
“But I will admit that I never had it as tough as you. I was able to have breaks from my mum but it doesn’t make it any easier.” Alex said and I looked at him.
“I always wanted a life like yours. To have a dad that cared and a mum who isn’t dying. Not the life I have, the only people who make it worth it is Hallie and you. My sister doesn’t care, all she cares about is drinking herself to death. My brother doesn’t care and could be dead for all I know. My dad is in prison for doing unforgivable things. My mum is dying and probably has only a month left and Hallie is too young to understand anything which is happening around her.” I said but it came out a sobbing mess and Alex pulled me into his side and he held me close to him and he rubbed my arm.
My phone went off but Alex answered my phone.
“You need to learn how to cope with Hallie.” Alex said and I guessed Ella couldn’t cope with Hallie.
“He needs a fucking break. He has to fucking deal with you mother and her illness. He has to deal with your fucking drunk ass all the time. Then he has to look after Hallie. He never has any time for himself, he had to drop out of fucking school you selfish bitch.” Alex said loudly which made me jump as I moved so Alex could get up and pace around.
“He is staying with me and you have to give up the booze for one night because your brother needs a break before he has a mental break down.” Alex said seriously.
“Learn how to cope with her, Jack had to learn how to cope and now it’s your turn to learn how to cope.” Alex said and he hung up and sat next to me.
“So I don’t care if you say no because you are spending the night here and your sister has to learn how to pull her weight.” Alex said and I looked at him and smiled.
“Now, because my parents are a bunch of gays and it’s a Saturday night we have a movie night. At the moment we are trying to watch all the avengers movies.” Alex said and I smiled at him softly.
“Hey if your even lucky enough I’ll even offer you free cuddles.” Alex said and I thought about it for a second.
“Movies and free cuddles sound good.” I said and Alex smiled and he got up and offered me his hand which I took and he helped me up and we went inside.
We walked into this huge room which was open planned to the kitchen and there was two huge sofas as well as a random chair and the tv was massive and their dvd collection was just out of this world, think I could happily hide in Alex’s house and watch as many of these dvds I could watch.
“So What movie is it tonight? Oh and Jack’s staying round, even if Danny has to sit on him, Jack is staying the night.” Alex said and I looked at him.
“Okay, it’s Deadpool tonight.” Danny said as he walked into the sitting area with a bottle of wine and two glasses and he sat on Alex’s Dad.
“Cool. Hey is there any wine for us?” Alex said as he grabbed the bottle and had a mouthful and Alex’s dad and Danny looked at Alex shocked and had this fake hurt look on their faces.
“I don’t think so young man.” Alex’s Dad said and Alex groaned loudly as he walked over to the sofa and sat down and I perched on the edge of the sofa.
“Take your jacket off, it’s bloody boiling in this house because somebody is cold blooded.” Alex said and looked at his dad.
“Fuck you.” Alex’s Dad said.
“Now that you be called incest and I believe that is against the law and is very much frowned upon. Anyway you have Danny to fuck.” Alex said and Alex’s dad just rolled his eyes and he moved to get comfy and Danny just molded himself round Alex’s dad.
“Take your jacket off Jack.” Alex said softly in my ear as he moved to get himself comfy on the sofa.
“I’m fine honestly.” I said as I sat back on the sofa.
“Make yourself at home buddy.” Alex’s Dad said and I looked at him and smiled slightly as we all went quiet and watched the film.
After an hour having my jacket on was getting to much but I was worried that I was going to get judged because of my scars.
I looked round and saw that Danny and Alex had their tops off and I noticed scars on Alex’s arms which made me looked down and I decided to take my jacket off.
I looked down at my arms and just all the memories of what happened came flooding back and I started to scratch my scars in hope it would make them go away.
I felt a pair of arms round me which made me jump as I felt myself being pulled into someone’s chest.
“Relax, it’s only me.” Alex whispered in my ear as he got himself comfy around me so my back was now resting on his chest.
“You don’t have to hide your scars either. We don’t judge in this house.” Alex whispered again and I looked at him where Alex looked at me and he smiled which I shyly returned as I got myself comfy and watched another film.
Me and Alex was sat outside with Danny since he was having a cheeky cigarette with us before he went to bed.
Once Danny went inside Alex stood up and took his top off since he put it back on again when we went outside and he walked off towards the swimming pool and I got up and followed Alex.
“Self harm?” Alex asked as he pointed to my arms.
“Yes and no.” I said as I looked down.
“What to talk about what happened?” Alex asked and I looked at him.
“You have needle scars on your arm, you used heroine?” Alex asked as he looked at my arm and then he looked at me.
I shook my head to his question.
“My dad wasn’t a nice man and he would drug us up and do stuff to us. He used the drugs to make us forget what he did to us.” I said quietly as I looked at Alex who looked sorry for me.
“He hurt you?” Alex asked and he touched one of my scars which I pulled my arm away slightly and I nodded as I felt some tears roll down my face.
“Yeah.” I whispered and Alex pulled me into a hug which I returned.
Alex pulled back and made me look at him.
“Nobody will ever hurt you again. If they do then you come to me.” Alex said and I smiled slightly at him as I nodded.
“Shell we go to my room and we can watch Netflix or whatever.” Alex said and I nodded and Alex caught hold of my hand and walked me to his bedroom.
We walked into Alex’s room and it was huge.
“Your room is huge, all the rooms in your house are huge.” I said as I walked more into his room and Alex chuckled as he shut his bedroom door.
I walked over to some door and realized it was a walk in wardrobe and I looked at Alex confused as Alex sat on his bed and was watching me.
“Almost makes me ashamed of my house.” I said quietly and Alex smiled slightly.
“So this is what my room would look like if I had a life like yours?” I asked as I looked on a bookshelf where there was a picture of Alex and a couple of boys.
“Them 3 are my best friends. Their coming over in the summer for 3 weeks, you can meet them if you like to.” Alex said from behind me which made me jump and turn round and looked at him.
“Being round you is bad enough.” I said and Alex faked a hurt expression which made me chuckle.
“Now that’s just mean.” Alex said and I rolled my eyes.
“I’m a mean person so what can I say.” I said and Alex shook his head.
“There not a bad bone in your body.” Alex said and I looked at him.
Alex moved closer to me and cupped my face in his hand and he looked into my eyes and he lent forwards and he kissed me, I returned the kiss after a few seconds and Alex pulled back and he looked at me and I looked down.
I felt Alex kiss the top of my head and he walked over to his wardrobe and he found some clothes and he walked back over to me.
“Change into these.” Alex said quietly as he walked past me and I caught hold of his hand which made Alex stop and look at me.
“Don’t regret the kiss. Because I don’t regret it.” I said quietly and Alex smiled at me.
“I’m not, I’ll just get changed in the bathroom while you get changed out here.” Alex said and I nodded as I let go of Alex’s hand and he walked towards the bathroom and I turned round and got changed.
I must of been a bit slower than normal when I hurt someone gasp and I turned round and saw Alex staring at me since I didn’t have a top on.
“Your back is covered in scars. What did he do to you?” Alex asked and I looked down and shuddered at the one memory sticking out in my mind.
“He hit me loads of times with a belt.” I said and looked at Alex.
“Your dad was abusing you?” Alex asked.
“Yes, but the back scars that was my brother.” I said and Alex looked at me shocked.
“Can we not talk about it anymore.” I said quietly as I looked down and I heard Alex walk over and hug me from behind and he kissed a scar which made me tense up.