Failure’s not flattering
I was lead in bed thinking about what Jack said about what his brother and his dad done to him and they’ve possibly done a lot worse to him as well which broke my heart.
I looked down at Jack who was asleep cuddled into my side looking really peaceful.
That was until his phone went off and Jack groaned loudly as he rolled over and felt around for his phone and when he found it he answered it.
“What Ella?” Jack said sleepily as he rolled onto his back rubbing his eyes and he looked at me and smiled slightly.
“You’re fucking drunk? I can’t fucking believe you, I can’t even fucking trust you for one night to do something for me.” Jack said sounding pissed off and hurt at the same time as he started to move out of bed.
“When I get home I want you out of my house. I want you as far away as you can possibly get for me and from Hallie because Hallie is not going to go through what I do.” Jack said seriously as he hung up and he sighed loudly and I moved and sat beside him where I pulled him into my side.
“Can’t even stay round someone’s house anymore.” Jack said quietly as he got up and started to get changed.
“You can still stay, fuck what your sister does.” I said and I knew as soon as it left my mouth it was the wrong thing to say.
“I cannot leave my 5 year year old sister with a drunk and with a person who doesn’t even know who anyone is anymore. So I have to go, thanks for tonight I really appreciate it.” Jack said as he pulled his jacket on and walked off out my room and out the house.
I sighed loudly as I stood up because I wasn’t got to leave Jack to do this all on his own because it isn’t fair on him.
I walked to Jack’s house and I heard the shouting before I saw it and I ran over and saw Jack stood on the porch with Ella on the floor.
I ran to the porch and pushed Jack away from Ella and he looked at me.
“Stop it Jack, you’ll wake Hallie up and you don’t want that, not in this frame of mind.” I said and Jack looked at me.
“Stay here.” I said softly and turned round and went over to Ella who was sobbing on the floor.
“Let me check you over.” I said and Ella looked at me.
“Go away.” Ella spat at me.
“Can’t really since you can’t even look after you siblings like an older sister should do and I’m looking after them so you don’t have to worry.” I said seriously.
Ella spoke in some language which I had no clue on what it was but Jack understood it and he came over and slapped Ella round the face which is something I never expected him to do and I looked at him shocked as he shouted in this language.
I looked over at the door and saw Hallie and I looked at Jack who looked really pissed off.
“Jack take a walk now.” I said seriously needing to take control of this.
“No.” Jack said being stubborn as he glared at Ella.
“I said take a walk Jack.” I said seriously as I stood in front off Jack.
“Hallie saw the whole thing. Now I will look after her and your mum and make sure Ella is gone but you need to take a walk before your temper gets the better of you and you do something you regret.” I said and Jack’s expression changed and he looked over to the door and saw Hallie standing there and he looked at Ella and his whole emotions and body language changed.
“I’m sorry.” Jack whispered and he walked off and I watched him walk off and took note of what direction he took and I looked at Ella.
“You need to leave in the opposite direction and never come back.” I said to Ella as I knelt down in front of her and she sobbed as she nodded.
“Get yourself together first and then you can leave. I’ll bring you out some water and something cold to put on your face.” I said softly and Ella looked at me.
“He’s not like that, he has never laid a hand on any of us before.” Ella sobbed.
“I know, this isn’t what Jack needs right now. He need support, not more worries and problems.” I said and Ella sniffed as she nodded.
“You’ll look after Jack for me won’t you?” Ella asked as she looked at me and I smiled and nodded.
“I’ll look after him. You need to focus on getting yourself better before you come back.” I said and Ella nodded.
“I’ll just go and get you some water.” I said softly and I walked inside to get some water and making sure Hallie stayed inside as I don’t think Jack would ever forgive me if I lose Hallie.
After I sorted Ella out and she left then I dealt with Hallie.
“Jacky?” Hallie said and I knelt down to her eye level and she looked at me with a serious but worried look on her face.
“Jack has gone for a walk to calm down, he’ll be back soon.” I said and Hallie nodded as she looked down at her feet.
“Who going to look after me and mum while Jacky gone?” Hallie asked and I smiled slightly at her and I picked her up and walked to the kitchen as I got myself and Hallie a drink.
“I’m going to stay here and look after you and your mum and Jack when he comes back from his walk.” I said and Hallie nodded.
“Ella gone?” Hallie asked as I sat her on the table so I could make us a drink.
“Yeah Ella has gone now.” I said.
“Good, she make Jacky more sad.” Hallie said and I looked at her.
“Is Jack always sad?” I asked as I gave Hallie her hot chocolate.
“Since Mum got sick, Jacky has always been sad but he got really sad when mum got sick.” Hallie said as she looked at her drink.
“Has he ever gotten help?” I asked and Hallie shrugged her shoulders.
“Dunno.” Hallie said as she had some off her drink.
“Do you know where Jack hides when he’s upset?” I asked and Hallie shrugged her shoulders as he handed me her cup.
“He hides at the park.” Hallie said as she yawned.
“Are you scared of Jack after you see what he did?” I asked as I had to know Incase I had to tell Jack that the only thing keeping him alive was scared of him.
“No, Ella needed telling off.” Hallie said innocently which made me smile.
“Okay. Let’s get you too bed.” I said as I picked her up and she wrapped her arms round my neck and I walked upstairs and put her in Jack’s bed and she settled down and I smiled as I pulled the covers over her.
I got my phone and called Danny since I knew he wasn’t working in the morning.
“It’s 1 in the bloody morning Alex, what the fuck are you even doing at this time of night?” Danny said sleepily.
“I need a favor.” I said.
“If it’s dealing drugs then I’m not doing it.” Danny said.
“I don’t even do drugs Danny, anyway Jack has gone fucking mental and has gone off somewhere and I need to find him but I can’t leave his really ill mother and she 5 year old sister alone. Can you come and crash here until I find him please.” I said and
Danny sighed loudly.
“Yeah I’ll come over and keep an eye on them. But only because you like Jack and Jack is a nice lad.” Danny said and I smiled.
“Thanks Danny you are a life saver right now. I’ll text you Jack’s address.” I said and hung up and quickly texted Danny Jack’s address and I just waited for Danny to show up.
I walked over to the door which was close and I opened it and saw it was where Jack’s mum was and it broke my heart a little.
I walked in and looked at the sleeping women who didn’t look well at all and she did look like she was on end of life care as well by looking at the drips she was on.
“I promise I’ll look after Jack and Hallie for you.” I whispered and I walked out the room and saw Danny.
“Well that was quick.” I said and Danny rolled his eyes at me.
“Well I thought the sooner I get here the sooner you can find Jack and the sooner I get to go back him.” Danny said and I smiled slightly at him.
“So What do I need to know then?” Danny asked his habit of being a surgeon kicking in slightly.
“Jack’s sister is called Hallie and she’s 5 years old with Down’s syndrome and to be honest the cutest kid ever. Jack’s mum is on end of life care.” I said and Danny looked at me when I said about Jack’s mum.
“And he has no support in his mothers end of life?” Danny asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“I don’t know, but I’m guessing he doesn’t have much help.” I said.
“He shouldn’t have to go through that on his own.” Danny said suddenly going all protective about Jack which is one thing I loved about Danny.
“I know he shouldn’t, Why do you think I’m trying to help him.” I said and Danny smirked at me.
“You are just trying to get into his pants.” Danny said.
“If I was trying to get into his pants I would of done so by now, so no I’m not trying to get into his pants.” I said and Danny smiled.
“Hallie was up about half an hour ago but she’s settled back down and gone back to sleep again.” I said and Danny nodded.
“The sitting room is in there, hope you like Disney films because there is a lot off them to watch.” I said and Danny smiled as he walked into the sitting room but you could see that he was itching to go and look over Jack’s mum.
“You don’t go in there unless you really have too.” I said seriously and Danny held his hands up.
“Okay I won’t go in there. Now you need to find Jack.” Danny said and I smiled and walked off and went looking for Jack.
After walking around for nearly an hour I managed to find Jack sat by the canal which I didn’t even know was here.
I sat next to Jack and he sniffed loudly and I put my hand on his knee.
“I’m so fucking stupid.” Jack sobbed and I looked at him and smiled softly at him.
“No you not Jack, you have a lot to put up with and it was only going to be a matter of time before something happened. You could of hurt yourself or Hallie and I’m glad that it was Ella who got the slap.” I said and Jack looked at me.
“I promised myself that I would never be like them, that I would never lay a hand on my family or another person in my life and I broke that promise Alex. I’m no better than what my dad and my brother was.” Jack said and he started to cry again and I pulled Jack into my side and held him close to me and I kissed the top of his head.
“You’re not like them Jack. You have a heart and you care about your family. From you scars you have they never had a heart or even cared about you or your family.” I said and Jack looked at me with his tear stained face.
“You are nothing like them.” I said softly and wiped a tear which was falling down Jack’s cheek and Jack looked down.
“I’ve done something stupid.” Jack whispered and I frowned in confusion but I think I knew what Jack was on about.
“You hurt yourself?” I asked softly and Jack nodded as he sniffed loudly.
“It’s okay, Danny is at yours looking after Hallie and your mum and probably watching some princess film as well.” I said and Jack smiled slightly.
“Is Hallie scared you me now?” Jack asked as he looked at me again.
“Nope, her words where Ella needed telling off.” I said and Jack smiled and he sighed loudly.
“Shell we get Danny to look at your arm?” I asked softly and Jack frowned at me.
“He’s a heart surgeon, not a someone who can sow your arm back together.” Jack said and I chuckled.
“Yeah he might be a heart surgeon but he is married to another surgeon and he deals with way worse stuff so he can sort your arm out. But Danny isn’t brave enough to wake my dad up so he’ll probably patch it up and tell you to go to the hospital tomorrow so then dad can fix it up for you.” I said and Jack smiled.
“Me, dad and Danny want to help you. You’ve just got to let us help you.” I said softly and Jack nodded slightly.
I kissed Jack’s forehead and looked at him.
“It’s cold and to be honest sitting here is quite frightening and I feel like I could be getting raped at anytime.” I said and Jack chuckled slightly.
“Don’t worry that pretty head of yours. Nobody hardly ever comes down here at night anyway.” Jack said and I frowned.
“More of the reason why someone who come down here and rape you.” I said and Jack raised an eyebrow at me.
“Oh shit, Jack I’m so sorry.” I said and Jack shook his head.
“It’s fine. The bastard got his payment in the end so it doesn’t matter anymore.” Jack said and it really did sound like he didn’t even brother him in the slightest.
“But even so, I still feel bad.” I said and Jack lent over and kissed my cheek.
“Don’t, worse things have happened to me and to begin with Yeah the rape did bother me but after a while I let that part of my past go. I’m at peace with that but other things I’m not at peace with.” Jack said and I smiled and nodded.
“You know, if you want to give me a kiss then you could just kiss me on the lips and not my cheek.” I said and looked at Jack.
“Now that would be leading you on.” Jack said and he stood up and lost his balance and fell back onto the bench.
I got up and helped Jack stand and linked my arm with his and Jack looked at me.
“This your bad arm?” I asked and Jack shook his head and I smiled and walked us back to Jack’s.
When we got home Danny was passed out on the sofa which made me chuckle slightly and Jack smiled.
Jack was able to walk by himself so he got a blanket and gently put it over Danny who didn’t even move and Jack looked at me.
“I need to check on Mum a second.” Jack said quietly and I nodded.
“I’ll make us both a hot chocolate.” I said and Jack smiled and he walked into his mums room and I went to the kitchen.
I was just making the drinks when Jack walked out.
“How is she?” I asked softly and handed Jack his drink which he took and he sat round the little table and I sat opposite him.
“She’s okay. The nurses said she was now in the final stage so anytime really.” Jack said quietly and I knew was the final stage was, it was when someone was going die.
“Tell me if I’m out of term when I say this but how long.” I said softly and Jack sniffed as I saw a tear roll of his nose.
“A week to 2 weeks.” Jack whispered and he started to cry again so I put my hand over his which made Jack look at me.
“It’ll be okay, I’m going to be here helping you.” I said softly and Jack smiled at me.
“Does Hallie understand what’s going on?” I asked and Jack nodded.
“I need to sit with her and tell her the next step on what happening.” Jack whispered as he sniffed loudly and I nodded.
“Jacky?” I heard Hallie say and we both looked and saw Hallie walking in the kitchen wearing one of Jack’s tops which was like a dress on her.
“Yeah baby.” Jack sniffed as he tried to hide that he was crying.
“Why you crying?” Hallie asked as she walked over to Jack.
“I need to talk to you, but it’s too early still to talk because you should be in bed.” Jack said as he picked Hallie up and sat her on his lap and he kissed the top of her head as he wrapped his arms round her.
“Who’s that man on the sofa?” Hallie asked.
“That’s Alex’s stepdad, he was meant to be keeping an eye on you and mum so Alex can find me.” Jack said and Hallie looked at me.
“You want me to leave?” I asked and Jack looked at me and shook his head.
“No, stay please.” Jack said and I smiled as I nodded.
Jack stood up and he looked at me.
“Want to share the bed again?” Jack asked and I chuckled slightly as I nodded and stood up and I followed Jack up to his room.
Hallie was fast asleep between me and Jack as we both watched a film as Jack wasn’t tired and I wasn’t going to sleep unless I knew Jack was asleep.
I looked up from the tv and noticed Jack was looking at Hallie.
“What’s the matter?” I whispered and Jack looked at me.
“She has so much life ahead of her but the first 5 years of her life have been nothing but shit.” Jack whispered.
“She still has her whole life ahead of her Jack. The only one here who has had nothing but shit all their lives is you.” I whispered since we had to be really quiet as Hallie was a really light sleeper and would always be up if she heard something louder than a whispered, that’s what Jack told me anyway.
“It’s nothing.” Jack whispered.
“Jack your life isn’t nothing. You have more to your life then just wasting it away.” I whispered and Jack shook his head.
“Hallie is the most important one here. Need to think about her.” Jack whispered.
“No Jack, you are the important one here. You don’t get a job then you can’t support
Hallie and then Hallie will be taken into care.” I whispered and Jack looked at me.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jack whispered.
“Okay, get some sleep. I’ve got an ear out for everyone.” I whispered and Jack sighed as he nodded as he got himself comfy and he cuddled Hallie.
I waited to until Jack was sound asleep and I got out of bed and went downstairs and checked on Jack’s mum.
Jack’s mum was awake which was creepy but I smiled and sat in the chair.
“I’m Alex, I’ll be helping Jack through everything which is going to happen next.” I said and Jack’s mum smiled slightly.
“I’ll take care Jack and Hallie for you, so you don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen to them. If anything happens then I’ll always make sure I’m going to be there for them.” I said and Jack’s mum lifted her hand up which I took because you can’t really refuse a dead woman’s hand.
The woman said something in another language and she looked at me like she was looking into my soul.
“I promise I’ll look after the pair of them.” I said quietly and Jack’s mum let go of my hand and she started to groan like she was in pain.
“I’ll just get someone.” I said quietly and I got up and went to the sitting room and woke Danny up since Jack needed the sleep more than Danny.
“What the fuck do you want?” Danny asked sleepily.
“Can you sort Jack’s mums medication out, she’s in pain.” I said and Danny groaned as he sat up and followed me to where Jack’s mum was and Danny looked at what she can have now.
“Jesus this woman, is on a lot of drugs. Has Jack said how long she has left?” Danny said and he looked at me.
“A week, 2 weeks tops.” I said and Danny smiled sadly and looked at Jack’s mum.
“What happened to mum?” Jack asked and I turned round and saw Jack in just his shorts and he rubbed his eyes.
“Nothing, she’s just in a little pain. I was just going to give her some of her medication to take the pain away.” Danny said.
“Don’t need to speak to me as if I’m a child. I’ve been dealing with this longer than you so step away from mum.” Jack said.
Danny moved away from Jack’s mum and Jack walked over and sorted his mums medication out and Danny looked at me.
Jack something in that language again and he turned round and looked at us.
“You need support Jack.” Danny said.
“Until mum passes I’m fine. I will admit that afterwards I will need help.” Jack said and he looked at me and I smiled.
“Your welcomed in our home.” Danny said and Jack smiled a Thanks.
“Go back to bed, you look like the living dead.” I said and Danny sighed loudly and looked at me as he crossed his arm.
“I will if you come too.” Jack said quietly and I nodded.
“Jesus Christ get a bed.” Danny said.
“Oh we have one, but there’s a 5 year old in it as well so I won’t be able to get my pay back.” I said and now Jack looked at me.
“I’m a British slut leave me alone.” I said and Danny chuckled.
“Can’t believe you just said that.” Danny chuckled as he shook his head.
“Think you should stop there.” Jack said and me and Danny looked at Jack.