We've Got Unfinished Business
Like We Used To
Jack was in his bedroom, and has been since he got home from school last Monday… yeah, it’s Friday today. Okay, so that’s an over exaggeration – he’s gone out for food and Cass comes by to keep him company, but he hasn’t been out of the house, which means he hasn’t been to school. He didn’t tell anyone – not even Cassadee, though he thinks she has it figured out – but he was really scared that Alex was going to try again. It was bad enough having to ignore all his texts.
Hey, where were you today? Are you okay? –AWG
Wanna meet up in Starbucks later? Drinks on me –AWG
Have you caught the flu or something? Haven’t seen you around – AWG
Jack actually found the texts sweet – Alex’s concern down to that dorkish ‘’- AWG” at the end of it – and had been tempted several times to respond… but no. He couldn’t get sucked in again. He’s tried convincing himself over the past few days that ignoring him would be the best way to go – he would eventually lose interest and see that it’s a useless attempt because Jack has moved on – but his daily texts give Jack very little hope for that tactic. He considered asking Cassadee for her advice, but he wanted to keep those texts to himself; like he said, he found them really sweet.
Okay, so maybe he found this attention really sweet, and a part of him craved to get Alex back, but he couldn’t do that himself. He already hurts himself in other ways, and getting Alex, then having him abandon him once again would just make it worse.
His phone buzzed in his lap – he’s been laying around, staring at the ceiling, and almost literally doing nothing the whole day. It was Matt calling. Feeling grateful for being given something to do, he picked up. “Hey, Matt.”
“Hey, asshole,” he countered with a laugh. Jack smiled. “It’s nice hearing from you. You left me alone this whole fucking week in school. What’s up?”
“Alone? Where the fuck was Cassadee?”
“She’s been with Dawson every break time.” Jack pursed his lips. So he’s not completely over not being friends with Rian anymore – what now? People lose friends all the time. “Something about helping him with Chem.” Cassadee’s a genius at Chem, why the fuck would she need help? “Besides, she didn’t come in today, so it wouldn’t have mattered. So where have you been, asshat? Gaskarth came looking for you during lunch time, but you’re not telling us shit, so we just said we had no clue where you were.”
Jack was silent for a moment. “Home,” he said simply, ignoring what he said about Alex. Like he said, ignoring him is the way to go now. “There’s nothing important going on in school, so it’s pretty much useless.”
“What a responsible student you are,” Matt snorted.
“Oh fuck off.” They laughed for a moment. Jack heard the doorbell go off downstairs, and Jack sighed. “Hey, there’s someone at the door. I’ll talk to you some time, ‘kay?”
“Sure thing. Later, Barakat.”
“Later.” He put the phone down and just lazed around for a moment. It felt good to talk to Matt; he’s just the type of person that’s such a pleasure to talk to, no matter the content or length of the conversation. The doorbell went off again, and he groaned, getting up from the bed, and trudging down the stairs. Glancing at his watch, he immediately assumed that it was Cassadee at the door, seeing as how school ended about 20 minutes ago, and she’s been over every single day of the week – something that has become second nature to her when he doesn’t come to school. The doorbell rang again, and he whined, “Hold your horses, Cass! What are you in such a rush for?” He then threw the door open.
The first thing that came to mind was, Cassadee is not a boy. Yeah, genius right? And apparently, what came out of his mouth was, “What the fuck, dude?”
Who else but Alex Gaskarth be standing at his door, a sheepish grin placed craftily on his face. He shrugged. “I felt like coming over.”
“Without telling me first?” Jack asked in a dead serious tone.
Alex was silent. “Yeah… Were you expecting Cassadee?”
“Well, yeah, I mean—“
“She didn’t come to school today, so I was given the task to bring you all your missed work for the week,” Alex said brightly, and Jack felt the urge to hit him over the head. Couldn’t he leave him alone? Alex lifted the envelopes in his arms, his smile widening. “Oh, and I brought some food for you.” He moved his arm a bit, and Jack caught sight of a bag hanging there.
Jack just looked at him tiredly for a moment. He sighed and pushed the door more open, saying, “Fine, you can come in.” Alex happily obliged, stepping in the humble home of the Barakats – well, really only Jack, seeing as how both his sister and his mother are never home – and looking around at the familiar place. Jack felt a sudden pang of anxiety, and immediately reprimanded himself for it; the place was no different from the last time, so he shouldn’t be seeking for Alex’s approval. “You can just put the things on the coffee table and take a seat. I’ll get you a drink.”
“No, no, sit down with me! I got it all set.” Alex smiled hugely at him, and pat the space on the ground next to him. Jack looked at him with an uncomfortable expression and sat across from him, so the table was separating them. Alex smiled at him again, and starting putting out all the food.
Jack was impressed by how far he went. There was Chinese take-out, and a small box of chocolate. Alex hummed as he plated the food, and started prepping it in front of Jack, bringing out shining cutlery, and pouring him a glass – not even paper or styro cups – of Coke. He smiled at him when he finished, and said, “Take a bite! It’s getting cold.”
Jack picked up the fork, noting the engraved Gaskarth on one of the points, and started eating, Alex following afterwards. The older boy swallowed heavily – Jack had to resist rolling his eyes; he always forgets to chew enough whenever he’s eager to talk – and grinned at him. “So, where have you been?”
“Here,” he replied in an offhand tone.
“Are you sick?”
“Just didn’t feel like going to school.”
Alex nodded, then fell silent. Jack just took a bite of a dumpling when he asked, “Were you avoiding me?”
He nearly choked. Alex just watched through his lashes as he took a long drink from his cup. Jack was shaking his head even before he started talking. “Not at all.” Alex gave him a disbelieving look, and Jack averted his gaze to his lap. He was such a terrible liar. “Okay, maybe.” Alex nodded, and Jack had to hold back the slap he was about to give himself. “Look, not in that way. I just really needed to think, and I was scared that you were going to… Sorry?”
Alex was silent, and Jack was so sure that he did something wrong. “So, is this—“ he indicated at their current positions “—scaring you?” Jack shook his head, sucking on the fork anxiously. Alex cracked a smile. “Well, that’s nice. For the record, I never meant to scare you or anything.”
“I wasn’t really scared – I just thought that you were going to—“
“Try something?” Jack nodded, and Alex shook his head, a small laugh. “Jack, I wasn’t going to try anything this week. The only reason that I did this—“ he indicated at their snacks “—is happening is because you went missing, and not even your friends knew about it.”
Jack was silent, and Alex couldn’t help but smirk. “So… wrong move, huh?” Alex laughed at that, and Jack cracked a smile. “Nah, but this is nice though.” Alex’s eyes shone with happiness at that, and he ducked his head. Jack found it really cute.
“Well, this is my last attempt for a long time, so there’s nothing to be scared of,” he teased.
“I’m not scared of you, idiot,” he laughed. “It’s what you’re trying to go for.”
The smile fell from Alex’s face. “Look, Jack, I just want everything to be less… awkward around us. I can’t even look at you in school for a second without you looking away, or smiling, or anything.”
Jack shrugged. “Well, the situation is awkward, so I don’t really understand what you’re trying to say.”
“The old days, Jack!” His eyes shone at the memory.
“Which ones, Alex?” Jack countered. Alex looked at him, knowing exactly what he was talking about. “I mean, how far are you willing to go here?”
“As far as you’ll allow me.” He winked, and Jack felt the heat rush to his cheeks. “Forgive the unintentional innuendo, that was uncalled for.” He shrugged as if saying that he really couldn’t do anything about it, and Jack nodded – he would have done the same. “But, really, I’m willing to do anything, and go as far as possible. I honestly have no idea how far this could go, but I’m willing to try.” His phone buzzed on the tabletop, and he grinned at Jack after reading the text. “My ride’s waiting in your driveway, is that okay? If not, I’ll tell him to drive around for a while. I’ll just fix up around here and—“
“Nah, you leave.” Jack grinned at him. “I’ll clean up. It’s the least I could do, yeah? Besides, I just need to throw out a bunch of things, seeing as how we’re both fatasses and finished everything.”
Alex’s smile grew. “Whatever you say, Jack.” He stood up and dusted his pants, and Jack did the same.
Jack walked him to and opened the door for him, frowning when he saw it was raining. “Wait, Alex,” he said, gripping his wrist. Alex stopped in his tracks, and looked at him, eyes wide. Jack pulled off the Mickey Mouse hoodie that he was wearing – Alex had a matching one, so, just in case he decided to pull something and wear it to school, it wouldn’t be weird – and shoved it at Alex, who scrambled to put it on, and smiled at him gratefully. Jack reached around him and lifted the hood, smiling softly. “Okay, you can go now.”
“You’re messing with my emotions, aren’t you?” Alex demanded playfully, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he stepped outside.
“I’m just doing my part in this master plan of yours,” Jack replied in a nonchalant tone, and, Alex’s smile grew. His cheeks must hurt. He tried to look at who was driving, but the windows were darkly tinted. “Who’s picking you up?”
“Zack. You know him, right?”
“N-nope.” Who was that? There’s no one in school that’s name is Zack – or none that Jack knows of. Was he going out with him? Wait, then why was he—
“Close family friend. You’ll meet him soon enough.” He seemed downright positive about that. Jack tried to control his breathing and gave him what he hopefully thinks was a smile. He smiled back at him. “I’ll see around, yeah?”
Jack shrugged, and shooed him out, Alex grinning from ear to ear as he waved at him from the back seat of the car. Jack smiled at him again, then shut the door, and turned around, coming face to face with the mess he just made. His smile widened. Today was pretty good. Jack finally knew what he wanted – he just didn’t know if he should want it.
Aw, fuck it.
~*~*~*~
“So, that’s Jack,” Zack said amusedly when Alex finally shut the window.
“He didn’t get mad at me, Zack!” He slapped him on the arm out of happiness, and propped his legs up on the seat. “Dude, he technically gave me a yes! And he said he was going to do his part in my ‘master plan’.”
“I’m pretty sure you didn’t wear that sweater this morning,” he said, a smile tugging at his lips. He knows it has something to do with Jack.
He heard him take a deep breath, and he rolled his eyes. “It’s Jack’s! Thanks whatever god up there for the rain, dude. He took it off and gave it to me. Dude! That’s like… dude!”
“That’s nice, Alex.” Really, it was, but if he’s going to have to deal with stuff like this when that Jack boy just gives him a smile, or a wave… he held back a sigh – he wasn’t getting paid enough.
Hey, where were you today? Are you okay? –AWG
Wanna meet up in Starbucks later? Drinks on me –AWG
Have you caught the flu or something? Haven’t seen you around – AWG
Jack actually found the texts sweet – Alex’s concern down to that dorkish ‘’- AWG” at the end of it – and had been tempted several times to respond… but no. He couldn’t get sucked in again. He’s tried convincing himself over the past few days that ignoring him would be the best way to go – he would eventually lose interest and see that it’s a useless attempt because Jack has moved on – but his daily texts give Jack very little hope for that tactic. He considered asking Cassadee for her advice, but he wanted to keep those texts to himself; like he said, he found them really sweet.
Okay, so maybe he found this attention really sweet, and a part of him craved to get Alex back, but he couldn’t do that himself. He already hurts himself in other ways, and getting Alex, then having him abandon him once again would just make it worse.
His phone buzzed in his lap – he’s been laying around, staring at the ceiling, and almost literally doing nothing the whole day. It was Matt calling. Feeling grateful for being given something to do, he picked up. “Hey, Matt.”
“Hey, asshole,” he countered with a laugh. Jack smiled. “It’s nice hearing from you. You left me alone this whole fucking week in school. What’s up?”
“Alone? Where the fuck was Cassadee?”
“She’s been with Dawson every break time.” Jack pursed his lips. So he’s not completely over not being friends with Rian anymore – what now? People lose friends all the time. “Something about helping him with Chem.” Cassadee’s a genius at Chem, why the fuck would she need help? “Besides, she didn’t come in today, so it wouldn’t have mattered. So where have you been, asshat? Gaskarth came looking for you during lunch time, but you’re not telling us shit, so we just said we had no clue where you were.”
Jack was silent for a moment. “Home,” he said simply, ignoring what he said about Alex. Like he said, ignoring him is the way to go now. “There’s nothing important going on in school, so it’s pretty much useless.”
“What a responsible student you are,” Matt snorted.
“Oh fuck off.” They laughed for a moment. Jack heard the doorbell go off downstairs, and Jack sighed. “Hey, there’s someone at the door. I’ll talk to you some time, ‘kay?”
“Sure thing. Later, Barakat.”
“Later.” He put the phone down and just lazed around for a moment. It felt good to talk to Matt; he’s just the type of person that’s such a pleasure to talk to, no matter the content or length of the conversation. The doorbell went off again, and he groaned, getting up from the bed, and trudging down the stairs. Glancing at his watch, he immediately assumed that it was Cassadee at the door, seeing as how school ended about 20 minutes ago, and she’s been over every single day of the week – something that has become second nature to her when he doesn’t come to school. The doorbell rang again, and he whined, “Hold your horses, Cass! What are you in such a rush for?” He then threw the door open.
The first thing that came to mind was, Cassadee is not a boy. Yeah, genius right? And apparently, what came out of his mouth was, “What the fuck, dude?”
Who else but Alex Gaskarth be standing at his door, a sheepish grin placed craftily on his face. He shrugged. “I felt like coming over.”
“Without telling me first?” Jack asked in a dead serious tone.
Alex was silent. “Yeah… Were you expecting Cassadee?”
“Well, yeah, I mean—“
“She didn’t come to school today, so I was given the task to bring you all your missed work for the week,” Alex said brightly, and Jack felt the urge to hit him over the head. Couldn’t he leave him alone? Alex lifted the envelopes in his arms, his smile widening. “Oh, and I brought some food for you.” He moved his arm a bit, and Jack caught sight of a bag hanging there.
Jack just looked at him tiredly for a moment. He sighed and pushed the door more open, saying, “Fine, you can come in.” Alex happily obliged, stepping in the humble home of the Barakats – well, really only Jack, seeing as how both his sister and his mother are never home – and looking around at the familiar place. Jack felt a sudden pang of anxiety, and immediately reprimanded himself for it; the place was no different from the last time, so he shouldn’t be seeking for Alex’s approval. “You can just put the things on the coffee table and take a seat. I’ll get you a drink.”
“No, no, sit down with me! I got it all set.” Alex smiled hugely at him, and pat the space on the ground next to him. Jack looked at him with an uncomfortable expression and sat across from him, so the table was separating them. Alex smiled at him again, and starting putting out all the food.
Jack was impressed by how far he went. There was Chinese take-out, and a small box of chocolate. Alex hummed as he plated the food, and started prepping it in front of Jack, bringing out shining cutlery, and pouring him a glass – not even paper or styro cups – of Coke. He smiled at him when he finished, and said, “Take a bite! It’s getting cold.”
Jack picked up the fork, noting the engraved Gaskarth on one of the points, and started eating, Alex following afterwards. The older boy swallowed heavily – Jack had to resist rolling his eyes; he always forgets to chew enough whenever he’s eager to talk – and grinned at him. “So, where have you been?”
“Here,” he replied in an offhand tone.
“Are you sick?”
“Just didn’t feel like going to school.”
Alex nodded, then fell silent. Jack just took a bite of a dumpling when he asked, “Were you avoiding me?”
He nearly choked. Alex just watched through his lashes as he took a long drink from his cup. Jack was shaking his head even before he started talking. “Not at all.” Alex gave him a disbelieving look, and Jack averted his gaze to his lap. He was such a terrible liar. “Okay, maybe.” Alex nodded, and Jack had to hold back the slap he was about to give himself. “Look, not in that way. I just really needed to think, and I was scared that you were going to… Sorry?”
Alex was silent, and Jack was so sure that he did something wrong. “So, is this—“ he indicated at their current positions “—scaring you?” Jack shook his head, sucking on the fork anxiously. Alex cracked a smile. “Well, that’s nice. For the record, I never meant to scare you or anything.”
“I wasn’t really scared – I just thought that you were going to—“
“Try something?” Jack nodded, and Alex shook his head, a small laugh. “Jack, I wasn’t going to try anything this week. The only reason that I did this—“ he indicated at their snacks “—is happening is because you went missing, and not even your friends knew about it.”
Jack was silent, and Alex couldn’t help but smirk. “So… wrong move, huh?” Alex laughed at that, and Jack cracked a smile. “Nah, but this is nice though.” Alex’s eyes shone with happiness at that, and he ducked his head. Jack found it really cute.
“Well, this is my last attempt for a long time, so there’s nothing to be scared of,” he teased.
“I’m not scared of you, idiot,” he laughed. “It’s what you’re trying to go for.”
The smile fell from Alex’s face. “Look, Jack, I just want everything to be less… awkward around us. I can’t even look at you in school for a second without you looking away, or smiling, or anything.”
Jack shrugged. “Well, the situation is awkward, so I don’t really understand what you’re trying to say.”
“The old days, Jack!” His eyes shone at the memory.
“Which ones, Alex?” Jack countered. Alex looked at him, knowing exactly what he was talking about. “I mean, how far are you willing to go here?”
“As far as you’ll allow me.” He winked, and Jack felt the heat rush to his cheeks. “Forgive the unintentional innuendo, that was uncalled for.” He shrugged as if saying that he really couldn’t do anything about it, and Jack nodded – he would have done the same. “But, really, I’m willing to do anything, and go as far as possible. I honestly have no idea how far this could go, but I’m willing to try.” His phone buzzed on the tabletop, and he grinned at Jack after reading the text. “My ride’s waiting in your driveway, is that okay? If not, I’ll tell him to drive around for a while. I’ll just fix up around here and—“
“Nah, you leave.” Jack grinned at him. “I’ll clean up. It’s the least I could do, yeah? Besides, I just need to throw out a bunch of things, seeing as how we’re both fatasses and finished everything.”
Alex’s smile grew. “Whatever you say, Jack.” He stood up and dusted his pants, and Jack did the same.
Jack walked him to and opened the door for him, frowning when he saw it was raining. “Wait, Alex,” he said, gripping his wrist. Alex stopped in his tracks, and looked at him, eyes wide. Jack pulled off the Mickey Mouse hoodie that he was wearing – Alex had a matching one, so, just in case he decided to pull something and wear it to school, it wouldn’t be weird – and shoved it at Alex, who scrambled to put it on, and smiled at him gratefully. Jack reached around him and lifted the hood, smiling softly. “Okay, you can go now.”
“You’re messing with my emotions, aren’t you?” Alex demanded playfully, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he stepped outside.
“I’m just doing my part in this master plan of yours,” Jack replied in a nonchalant tone, and, Alex’s smile grew. His cheeks must hurt. He tried to look at who was driving, but the windows were darkly tinted. “Who’s picking you up?”
“Zack. You know him, right?”
“N-nope.” Who was that? There’s no one in school that’s name is Zack – or none that Jack knows of. Was he going out with him? Wait, then why was he—
“Close family friend. You’ll meet him soon enough.” He seemed downright positive about that. Jack tried to control his breathing and gave him what he hopefully thinks was a smile. He smiled back at him. “I’ll see around, yeah?”
Jack shrugged, and shooed him out, Alex grinning from ear to ear as he waved at him from the back seat of the car. Jack smiled at him again, then shut the door, and turned around, coming face to face with the mess he just made. His smile widened. Today was pretty good. Jack finally knew what he wanted – he just didn’t know if he should want it.
Aw, fuck it.
~*~*~*~
“So, that’s Jack,” Zack said amusedly when Alex finally shut the window.
“He didn’t get mad at me, Zack!” He slapped him on the arm out of happiness, and propped his legs up on the seat. “Dude, he technically gave me a yes! And he said he was going to do his part in my ‘master plan’.”
“I’m pretty sure you didn’t wear that sweater this morning,” he said, a smile tugging at his lips. He knows it has something to do with Jack.
He heard him take a deep breath, and he rolled his eyes. “It’s Jack’s! Thanks whatever god up there for the rain, dude. He took it off and gave it to me. Dude! That’s like… dude!”
“That’s nice, Alex.” Really, it was, but if he’s going to have to deal with stuff like this when that Jack boy just gives him a smile, or a wave… he held back a sigh – he wasn’t getting paid enough.
6/11/13