Sanctuary

I woke up the next morning to a sleeping Alex beside me. As much as I wanted him awake, I didn't because he looked so peaceful. Once I went to the bathroom to pee, I took a better look at myself in the full length mirror I recently purchased and couldn't believe what I saw. I had bruises on my arms from when he pushed me up against the wall and I had scraped knees from when I had fallen to the ground in an attempt to get away from him along with a couple bruises on my legs as well. When I got home, all I wanted was a shower and to sleep next to Alex; I didn't even wanna see what I looked like after the ordeal. In the midst of seeing how horrible I looked, my knight in shining armor showed up in the mirror and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Good morning." he said.

"Good morning." I said, placing my hands on top of his.

"How do you feel?"

"Better, but I'm scarred emotionally and physically. Luckily, the physical scars will go away."

"Luckily."

He had a smile on his face while I hardly had one at all.

"Can we go eat breakfast? I'm starved and need to take an aspirin on a full stomach."

I ended up having a hangover like I thought I would. I'd rather just have that instead of dealing with the fact that I was also raped last night.

"Of course. Chocolate chip pancakes?"

My favorite.

"Yes."

All of a sudden, I had a feeling of happiness and as a result, I turned around and eagerly kissed Alex; he had a great response.

"So glad to see that beautiful smile of yours again. I missed it."

"Let's go." I said, taking his hand.

"Just let me pee first."

"Oh! I forgot about that! I'll meet you in the kitchen."

He laughed as I did. Off I went to the kitchen and took the chocolate milk out of the fridge. I didn't know how long this feeling would last, but I was gonna take full advantage of it. He got out glasses for the both of us and poured the milk.

"You're so sweet. Thank you."

“You are welcome. Straw?”

“Please.”

He passed one to me and I immediately started drinking it.

“How about you go sit? I’ll make pancakes.”

“Ok.”

I turned on the tv and pulled up Netflix.

“Anything you wanna watch?”

“You pick.”

“What to watch, what to watch.” I whispered to myself.

Something happy.

Once I made a choice, a wonderful choice, I actually put on music until breakfast was ready. To be incredibly cheesy like the cheesiest I could possibly be, I put on All Time Low. Yes, I put on my boyfriend’s band on shuffle and pressed play. I was eager to see what would play first.

A Love Like War.

That couldn’t be more perfect; it’s one of my favorite ATL songs.

Make a wish on sorry little hearts
Have a smoke, pour a drink
Steal a kiss in the dark
Fingernails on my skin
Like the teeth of a shark
I’m intoxicated by the lie

In the chill of your stare
I am painfully lost
Like the deer in the lights
Of an oncoming bus
For the thrill of your touch
I will shamefully lust

As you tell me
We’re nothing but trouble

I sung this dramatically and was moving around the living room while trying to keep my eyes on Alex. He was amused as he watched his girlfriend parade and sing along to his own voice and the music.

Hearts on fire tonight
Feel my bones ignite
Love feels like war

I collapsed on the ground, not out of exhaustion, but as part of the performance. I paused the music when the song was over and saw Alex walk over to me. When I reached out, he pulled me up and we both laughed.

“You sound so great.”

“Look whose talking. The original singer, who’s standing in front of me, his voice is so much better.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“You’re so humble. It’s cute.” I said, pinching his cheek.

He blushed.

“Well, I’ll get back to making breakfast.”

I nodded as he walked back. Fifteen minutes later, breakfast was ready and he brought it to the living room where I had just turned off my music.

“Thanks for the yummy breakfast.”

“You’re welcome.”

I took a bite of bacon and pressed play.

“So, what are we watching?”

“13 Going on 30.”

“Good choice.”

I smiled and shook my head.

When we finished breakfast, I leaned into him and put my head on his shoulder while he wrapped an arm around me. Halfway through the movie, my phone vibrated; it was my mom.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Who is it?” he asked as he paused the movie.

“My mom.”

“Why in the world is she texting you?”

He was almost as irritated with her as I am and he hasn’t even met the woman.

“Let me look.”

Honey, please talk to me. I miss you.

She called me a few times to get a hold of me shortly after I moved here and from then on, she texts me every six months to get a hold of me. I never answer and I wish she would just give up; it’s not going to happen.

“Pretty much the same text she always sends. It’s not gonna happen. You didn’t get why I was depressed for a year, so why are you trying to get a hold of me? It’s a shame that I have a mother like that. Think I should actually call her? Maybe she’ll leave me alone then.”

“I think you should.”

I closed my eyes and told Siri to call her. I grasped his hand because who knew how this conversation would go. She answered after one ring; what a fucking surprise.

“Oh my God! I’m so happy that you called me, Abigail.” she said dramatically.

Nobody’s called me that in years.

“Hi Mom.”

“How are you, honey?”

“I could be better.”

“What happened?”

“It’s not exactly something you tell someone on the phone about.”

“Are you sure?”

JFC.

“Yes, Mom. I’m sure.”

I was beyond irritated at this point.

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Why do you think? You pretty much abandoned me when I told you that I had depression. Do you get it now or what?”

At this point, I had let go of Alex’s hand and was pacing around the room.

“I do actually and I want to see you. Give me a chance to speak to you in person.”

She wants to see me. Wow. Just let her. How bad could it possibly be?

“Can you afford a ticket?”

I couldn’t believe that I was actually saying this. Alex looked at me confusedly.

“Yeah. Mind if my boyfriend comes?”

Boyfriend?

“If there’s any chance of reconciliation, I’d like it to be only you.”

“That’s fair. You’re right. You and me.”

I calmed down a fair bit by this time.

“Good to hear.”

“Is there a time that’s better for you? I can make myself free whenever from work.”

“I don’t know at the moment. I’ll talk to my boss on Monday.”

“Sounds good. Love you.”

“Bye.”

I hung up and sat back down on the couch.

“She wants to come see you?”

“Yeah and I agreed to it. Maybe there’s a chance for us to reconcile.”

“That’d be great.”

“There was something she said that really irritated me though. She wanted to know if she could bring her boyfriend.”

“You gotta be kidding me.”

“Wish I was.”

“She agreed not to. She genuinely is ready to do whatever it takes to make things right between us. You know, have a typical mother-daughter relationship. I miss that. We used to be so close.”

I actually began to tear up just from saying that.

“Are you gonna want me to be there?”

“When you first meet her, absolutely. I know that we’re gonna need some time just me and her and I don’t know how long she’ll be there.”

“I hope I get to meet the mother you grew up with.”

What he said warmed my heart and I leaned up against him.

“I hope so, too.”

We started the movie up again and therefore, I was happy. Come two o’clock, I was hungry again and Alex was more than willing to go get us whatever we wanted.

“Are you gonna be okay by yourself?” he said, touching my shoulder.

“Yeah, but fair warning, I might be asleep when you get back.”

“Ok. I love you. I’ll be back soon.”

“I love you, too.”

We kissed and he headed outside. I hadn’t wondered if I’d actually not be okay without him here until now; he put the thought into my head and now, I couldn’t get it out of my head. Within five minutes, I fell asleep on the couch like I expected I would.

I was outside a bar about to call Alex when I heard someone come up behind me and wrap his arms around me and kiss the back of my neck; I froze.

“Hey beautiful. What are you doing here all by your lonesome?”

“I don’t need to tell you that.”

“I think you do. If not, I’ll throw this phone to the ground and smash it into a million pieces.”

“I was about to call my boyfriend.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes and I can have him come here and kick your disgusting ass.”

“Not gonna happen, bitch.”

He began to unzip my jeans when he pulled me into an alley. Once he pulled my pants down and my underwear, he did the same to himself and swiftly entered me. I tried to push him away, but it was no use.

“No! Get away from me! Please! It hurts!”

I was screaming and wailing on the couch, but I had my eyes shut. Someone came up to me and placed their hands on me.

“Abby! What’s wrong?”

“Go away! Stop!” I cried out, begging for this person to stop.

I was also flailing my arms; I was certain that I hit him.

“Abby, it’s me. It’s Alex.”

I woke up in a cold sweat and stared at him. After a few seconds, I realized that I was just in a nightmare and I wrapped my arms around him and cried just like I did last night. I held onto him tightly and buried my head into his shoulder while he rubbed my back.

“It’s okay now, Abby. I’m here.”

I didn’t say anything for a couple minutes. When I was able to speak again, I let go of Alex and sat back on the couch.

“I was wrong. I wasn’t okay while you were gone. I hadn’t even given that a thought till you said something.” I sobbed.

Thought I was done with all the goddamned crying. He made a face and proceeded to grab the tissues that were in the bathroom.

“Mind if I ask what the nightmare was about?”

“That same guy came up behind me and put his hands on me, even his lips on the back of my neck when I was about to call you...

Then, I got to the alley part.

“He undid my pants and pulled them and my underwear down before he did the same to himself and uh...penetrated me; he thrusted several times. Well, I...you know the rest.”

I looked up and saw that he was at odds with himself.

“I shouldn’t have gone. I should’ve just stayed here with you. This probably would have not happened. I’m sorry.”

“Please, Alex. You don’t need to apologize. You couldn’t have possibly known this would happen.”

“Still. I’m angry at him. Quite frankly, I’d like to kick his ass.”

“I appreciate that, but it wouldn’t do anything. If this goes to court, you could say something.”

“I certainly will.”

This was another moment that I felt loved, appreciated and cared for.

“You have any idea how much you mean to me, Alex Gaskarth?”

“No, but you mean so much more to me more than you’ll ever know, Abby Shaw.” he said, kissing my cheek.

I blushed and laid my head on his shoulder.

Notes

I wasn’t expecting a story more than maybe a few chapters, but I’ve fallen love in with the story and it’s gonna be multi-chaptered. Although it may be a difficult topic to write about, I love Abby and Alex’s relationship; it’s completely and utterly beautiful. I hope you all continue to read this type of story.