Sanctuary

Today’s my best friend’s twenty-seventh birthday and tonight, my friends plan on spending the night on the town, starting with a birthday dinner at her favorite restaurant. It was also a celebration of my new job, which was working as a sous chef at one of the most amazing and expensive restaurants in the city. My boyfriend took me there for our first date and I had never expected to eat there, not ever. I grew up not having much and with the job I had at the time, I was hardly even making minimum wage, so dining at a place like that was unfortunately out of the question. I felt out of place, but like a princess at the same time. He must’ve really liked me and wanted to impress me which he did with flying colors and I truly liked him before I met him since he is the lead singer of one of my favorite bands, All Time Low. Alex Gaskarth was someone who was clearly someone out of my league and someone who I thought I would never meet, but I did and he turned out to be even better looking in person, absolutely adorable and sweet. He, of course, was immature like I expected him to be, but I loved it, seeing all the interviews, dvds and whatnot over the years. We met, out of all places, a supermarket; he was picking out some ice cream at the same time and our hands touched which may seem like a cheesy way to meet but it was certainly cute and as luck would have it, fate. Fast forward two years and we’ve been together ever since.
“So, Abby, when do you start at your new job?” my bestie, Miranda asked.
“Monday. They want me to come in about a couple hours before they open, actually.”
“How’s Alex about all this? Do you think he’ll come that first day?
“Probably with one of the guys. Anyway, he couldn’t be more happy for me. This is the happiest I’ve he’s seen me since we met. You guys know how miserable I was at that time.”
“Yeah. You were working two jobs and hardly making enough to pay rent. I love that he judge you for how your life was going. That’s one of my favorite things about him. He cares about you more than anything and loves you regardless of what’s going on in your life or how you grew up.” my friend Kendra said.
“I couldn’t agree more about that amazing man of yours. You got the luck of the draw.” my friend Brielle said.
“I did, didn’t I?” I said, blushing.
I couldn’t ask for better friends. I didn’t have that much luck with friends when I was growing up in Virginia aside from Miranda that is who I met in second grade. Maybe I had another friend or two since then but those friendships ending before I reached high school. She’s had other friends over the years but those ended once she hit junior high, actually, so I guess we were pretty similar in that department. After graduation, she moved out to California since she got accepted at UCLA. I was stuck in good old Virginia, not being able to go to such an amazing school such as the one she was accepted at.
I went to a community college for a few years and I was miserable and slipped into depression which was something that no one understood, not even my mother who raised me all by myself since I was a baby. My father never acknowledged me because he claimed the baby wasn’t his. At the time, my mother was a teen mom at the age of seventeen and had cheated on him when she was dating my absentee father. My grandparents weren’t much help since they were ashamed of my mother for getting pregnant in high school. My mom managed to raise me as best she could working multiple jobs which didn’t pay much and she loved me more than anything, something that helped things not be so difficult in my life, including my friendship with Miranda. When I was twenty-one, she heard about all that was going and offered a one-way ticket to California which I graciously accepted. I moved there a week later and over time aka a year, I broke out of that depression and things started to get better even though I worked a lot of jobs. I had my best friend and was away from my unsupportive mother which has gotten me through and things are now the best they have ever been.
We ordered our dinners seconds later before anyone could say another word.
“So, enough about me. It’s Miranda’s birthday and it’s time to celebrate!”
Everyone cheered and clicked their glasses.
“So, where do we wanna start really partying at?” Miranda asked.
We planned on a few and the first one was an up and coming bar that we had heard great things about, so we just had to go and see it for ourselves, more like experience for ourselves.
“What drink do you want first? It’s on me.” I said.
She put her hand to her heart and awwed.
“Really?”
I laughed.
“Yes. Really. So, what’ll it be?”
“How about a martini, dry?”
“Alright. One martini, dry for the birthday girl.”
“Thank you, sister. I love you!”
“I love you, too!”
The bar lived up to the hype and after maybe an hour, us girls made our way to the next place. It was an older bar, but it was still great and we truly enjoyed ourselves. After another hour, we actually went out to a club which I couldn’t have been more excited to go to.
“This place is awesome!” Miranda exclaimed.
She was on her second drink and dancing like a crazy person. At this point of the night, she had a total of six drinks and was over the moon. I had no doubt she would have a hangover; me too, probably. I was feeling pretty damn good myself and I didn’t think the night could get any better. We found some other great people to hangout with that night, they have been a few years younger than us, but they knew how to party. At some point, I needed to take a trip to the restroom and excused myself. I found a guy follow me which made completely uncomfortable and I just hoped he’d be gone when I came back out. When I did, i didn’t see him, I let out a sigh of relief and safely made it back out to my friends.
“You okay, Abby?” Brielle asked.
Everyone seemed to have concerned looks on their faces.
“Yeah. There was just this guy following me when I went to pee, but now, I think he’s gone.”
“That’s a relief.”
“You can say that again.”
Ten minutes passed when I saw him again, staring at me and my heart began to race a million miles a minute.
“Hey, he’s back. I’m uh...gonna get a breath of air and see if I can get away from him.”
“You gonna be okay? I’m really worried. We all are.” Miranda said worriedly.
“Yeah. I’ll be fine. Just enjoy yourselves. I’ll be okay.”
They nodded and I swiftly made my way out of the club with this piece of shit close behind me.
“Why don’t you come over, sweetie?” he said, reaching out to me.
When outside, I had trouble breathing and took out my phone to call Alex when that guy came up from behind me and grabbed my ass, then I managed to walk farther away, so I could speak to talk to him.
“Call Alex.” I told Siri.
He answered after a couple rings and I was in complete panic mode when this creep pushed me.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
I had never been so terrified in my life. All I wanted was to be at home and safe with my boyfriend.
“Abby. What’s wrong? I know that something’s wrong.”
I managed to run again.
“Get back here, bitch!” I heard in the background.
“Abby.”
“This guy is after me. He saw me at the club and followed me outside.”
“Where are you-“
I managed to tell him before the guy threw my phone.
“Alex!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.
“You. Shut the fuck up!”
That’s when his hand went under my party dress and into my panties and pulled them down slightly so he could get his hand in there. He placed a couple fingers in my vagina and thrust them in and out while he kissed my neck.
“Help!!”
He had his other hand run up and down my body. Not even a minute later, I managed to push with him my foot and he fell down. He grabbed my leg, but I kicked him as hard as I could let go. Someone had come out at this point and came toward me to help. He made sure he didn’t get away while I called the police and pulled up my panties.
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” I said hugging him.
“I couldn’t not come over and help. People like this disgust me.”
“Still.”
I took a breath and sat down to calm myself as much as I could while I waited for Alex and the police. Ten minutes passed when I saw him rush toward me; I immediately jumped into his arms and bawled. I didn’t wanna let go ever again and I held on for dear life.
“What happened?”
I looked at him with bloodshot and blurry eyes.
“As I said earlier, that creep followed when I went to the restroom. He managed to disappear until ten minutes later. He saw me and I excused myself; the girls were more than concerned. He came out here...”
When I got to the point of him raping me, I was having trouble getting the words out, but they did come out.
“He pulled down my panties, so he could stick a couple fingers...”
Once I was done, I was crying all over again and he was so angry yet upset at the same time. He pulled me in and kissed the top of my head.
“I’m so sorry that this happened to you, baby. I wish I could’ve been here.”
“Barhopping with four women?”
“Yes. You’ve had a tough life. You didn’t deserve this. No one does.”
I don’t think anyone has ever loved and cared about me this much and I was ever grateful and blessed.
“Yeah.”
Seconds later, the police arrived and I knew that I had to make a statement.
“Oh my God.” I said, holding my head in my hands.
“What?”
“I have to repeat what I said to you.”
More tears ran down my face that Alex wiped away.
“You can do this, Abby. I’ll be there if you want me to be.”
Of course I did.
“No. I can’t. I just can’t.”
That’s when a policeman came toward me.
“Miss, you called 911? Were you the victim?”
“Yes and yes. What exactly happened?”
Oh God.
“Sir, who are you?”
Argh.
“I’m her boyfriend.”
“Was he here at all with you this evening?”
“No. I was actually here with my friends.”
I held onto Alex’s hand as tightly as possible. I told him absolutely everything without completely breaking down again which surprised me. The tears did come back a bit while I was giving my statement though. I was thankful when the interview was over because I was just ready to get out here, but I couldn’t as I saw all of my friends come rushing out to see me.
“Oh my God, Abby. What happened? Why are the police here?” Miranda asked frantically.
“You know that guy I was talking about?”
“How could we not?”
“He followed me out here and well... I don’t know if I can into detail right now. I’m traumatized. I’ll put it as simply as possible. He raped me.”
All of my friends hugged me all at once which felt wonderful. The people I care about are right here, right now, in this moment.
“I love you, guys.”
“We love you, too.”
After the huge hug ended, I started to smile again even though I knew it wouldn’t last.
“Sorry the night had to end like this.”
“Abby. There’s no reason to apologize. This is the last thing anyone needs to apologize for.” Miranda said.
“That’s good to hear. Well, Alex and I are gonna go. Aside from what just happened, I had a great night. Happy Birthday, Miranda.”
“Thank you, sweetie.”
And with a few smiles and hugs, Alex wrapped an arm around my waist and we headed to his car. I buckled my seatbelt and laid my head back on the headrest.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“Wanna listen to something?”
“Sure. Doesn’t matter what.” I said in a low tone, not looking at him.
“Ok.”
He put on something I loved; it was Paramore. I smiled slightly as the music began to play. The Only Exception rang through the speakers.
“I love you.” I said as tears threatened to fall again.
“I love you, too.”
The trip was silent minus the music the entire way home. I had moved in a couple weeks ago and was thankful for that, especially tonight. I slowly got out of his car and walked to the front door without waiting for Alex.
“Abby?” he called out as I unlocked the door and walked inside.
I needed to get in the shower as soon as I possible.
“Abby!” I heard as I undressed and stepped in.
“In the shower!”
“Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will.”
I wanted to scrub every ounce of that bastard off of me. I must’ve been there for half an hour or so because I heard Alex ask if I was alright. I didn’t answer and proceeded to sit down on the shower floor. I had scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed, but I still couldn’t get him off of me and just needed to sit down. The hot water was getting cold, but I just didn’t fucking care anymore. He opened the door and saw me sitting there, staring at the floor.
“Abby? Please talk to me.”
I remained silent.
"Is there anything I can do?"
I shook my head.
"Ok."
He walked away and I buried my head into my hands once he left. I stayed in there for ten minutes before I decided to get out. I washed my face, brushed my hair and teeth then walked into our bedroom with a robe on and a towel wrapped around my hair. Alex was sitting on the bed cautiously watching me like he was expecting me to fall apart; I hated that. I grabbed pyjamas out of the dresser and got dressed.
"Could you please stop staring? It's making me uncomfortable." I said after I looked for something to wear.
He nodded and looked at his phone instead.
"If I sounded like a bitch, I apologize. I'm just done. You know what I mean?"
I crawled into bed after I turned the lights out and laid next to him.
"I know what you mean and you didn't sound like a bitch; far from it, actually."
I smiled and kissed him; he kissed me back.
"Goodnight, Alex."
"Goodnight, Abby."

Notes