Sanctuary

The following week, I asked my boss about me having a few days so my mother could visit and it was approved in just a couple days. After that, I called my mom and discussed when she was coming out which turns out will be next week.

"So, when's your mom gonna come visit?" Alex asked before bed.

"Next week. I'm so excited." I said with my voice going up an octave.

He laughed.

"So am I."

"I'm feeling optimistic about us reconciling. The past two phone calls felt like the relationship we had when I was growing up. You're gonna love her, Alex."

I was grinning from ear-to-ear. He pulled me in and kissed my cheek.

"I'm sure I will. Will she like me?”

“Of course she will. You treat me with way more respect than my absentee father ever did, so you’re pretty much gold. Ya know, I hope my mom’s boyfriend treats her the same way you do with me.”

“I hope so, too.”

I moved into his lap and kissed him.

“I love you.” I said, looking straight into his eyes.

He took my head into his hands and kissed me before he spoke again.

“I love you, Abby.”

I pressed my forehead against his and practically melted into him as he secured his arms around my waist. We didn’t move from this position for several minutes; when I was on the verge of sleep, I moved, so I could lie down and sleep. After work the following day, I met up with my friends, so we could hangout because it was definitely overdue and also, I was eager to talk to them about my mom.

“How are you feeling about your mom coming to visit next work?” Kendra asked.

We were hanging out at Miranda’s apartment with us all packed into her bedroom.

“I’d be lying if I wasn’t anxious about it. Sure, it’s my mom, but I left home on terrible terms and after six years and several attempts of her trying to get a hold of me, I can’t help but feel that way.”

“I’d be too. Your mom used to be so freaking awesome. She was tough as nails like how you are now, but she was a kind woman and loved you more than anything.” Miranda said.

“Yeah. I truly hope that’s the woman who comes through that airport terminal. A woman who understands how I was feeling when I was clinically depressed. I’m optimistic as is Alex.”

“Alex is the king of optimism.” Brielle said.

“That he is and the king of making me feel good.”

Next week couldn’t have come any slower and now, Alex and I were waiting at the airport for my mom to walk through the terminal.

“How you feeling?”

“Honestly? My heart’s about to beat right out of my chest.”

“Everything’s gonna be fine.” he said squeezing my hand.

Five minutes later, I saw her walk out of the terminal looking just as I remembered when I left for California. As soon as she dashed toward me, I let go of Alex’s hand and made my trek toward her. She wrapped her arms around me and I practically melted into her when I wrapped mine around her.

“I missed you, Abigail.”

“I missed you, too, Mom.”

I started to tear up. When we pulled apart and she saw that I was crying, she was immediately concerned.

“Honey, why are you crying?”

“I don’t know, but it has been too long.”

“It has, but it’s mainly because of me.”

I shook my head.

“Can we talk about this later? There’s someone I’d like for you to meet.”

“Your fiancee. Where is he?” she said, drawing out the word fiancee.

I laughed.

“Oh, he’s the guy standing and looking at us.”

We both laughed.

“He’s such a dork.” I said.

“Ok.”

We walked toward him and he smiled.

“Alex, I’d like you to meet my mom, Carol. Mom, this is Alex.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” he said, shaking her hand.

“He’s cute.” she whispered into my ear.

I hope Alex didn’t hear.

“Mom. I know.” I said, smiling to myself.

“Where are we headed to first?”

“Well, after we grab your luggage, we were thinking of getting breakfast.”

It was nine in the morning and I was starving.

“Sounds good.”

“Your Mom seems sweet.” he asked when she went to where her luggage was.

“She is. So far, she’s still as I remember her to be.”

He nodded and kissed my cheek.

“Ready to go, you two?”

Alex, being the gentleman he is, took her overnight bag and suitcase. My mom, of course, refused, but he insisted.

“You got a good one.” my mom said as we got into my car.

He put her belongings in the back of the car while she got comfortable in the passenger seat which was Alex’s idea.

“I still can’t believe I got him. After everything I’ve been through, I feel blessed to have him in my life.”

This is when I heard Alex get in the backseat.

“You ladies good?” he asked, buckling his seatbelt.

“Perfect.” I said.

“Yep.” my mom said.

I was in such a great mood, I couldn’t wipe the damn smile off my face.

“Anyone have any requests?”

No one did, so I put my music on shuffle and sat my phone down. What played made me shake my head. Somewhere in Neverland came blasting through the speakers.

Do I sing?

I’m usually fine with singing ATL in front of Alex, but my mom was also in the car.

Fuck it.

[insert SIN lyrics]

While I belted the song out, I could see him smiling in my dashboard mirror; I was blushing and my mom could see that. She knows that All Time Low has always been my favorite band, so she must’ve enjoyed this moment; she nudged and smiled at me when we were at a stop. Luckily or unluckily depending on any person in the car, the next few songs were from different bands. We got out to a diner maybe a half hour later and my stomach continued to growl.

“Shut up, stomach.” I scolded as I got out of the car.

Everyone laughed, especially Alex. I nudged him in an attempt for him to stop. We got a booth with me sitting across from my mom. After we ordered drinks, we all got to talking.

“I have to ask.” my mom started.

“Yeah?”

“How’d you two meet?”

“It was a really cheesy way to meet. We were in a grocery store picking out ice cream when our hands touched.”

“That is adorable. Was it rocky road?”

The woman knows me.

“My favorite. Yes.”

“Is it your favorite, Alex?”

“Second favorite. First is strawberry.”

“That’s the only ordinary thing about him.” I said, looking at him.

He was looking at the table all the while smiling. I kissed his cheek.

“You guys make such a cute couple.”

“Thanks Mom.”

I was so fucking happy. I could feel it just radiating from me.

“Mind if I ask how long you two have been together?”

“For two years and he pretty much swept me off my feet. He did all he could to impress me when it didn’t really take all that much to do that.”

“That true, Alex?”

“I felt that I needed to. I wanted to show her that I was more than the lead singer of a popular band, that I was like everybody else. I fell for her on the first date, which is a rarity nowadays.”

I was blushing again.

Once we ordered, I started up a different conversation.

“How have you been since we spoke back in May?”

“Wonderful. Things have never been so good. My boyfriend treats way better than your ‘father’ ever did.”

I was glad to hear that, but it always sucked to hear about my so called father. Sure I was grateful for my mom and how I turned out, but part of me always hated and wanted to meet him at the same time. You know, let him see what he should’ve been a part of, instead of accusing my mother of being a whore and denying I was his child, but on the other hand, he doesn’t deserve to see what an amazing life he helped create.

“That’s great. You deserve only the best, Mom.”

I was feeling down a bit, but I kept a smile on my face.

“Thank you, sweetie. Are you okay?”

She knew something was off like Alex always knows when something’s not right with me.

“I’m fine. I just spaced out for a second.”

I could sense him looking at me. I know him way too well just like he knows me way too well. He asked me something once my mom excused herself to the restroom.

“I know that you’re not okay. What’s going on?”

I sighed.

“I hate hearing about my father and whenever I talk about him. Can we talk more about this later?”

“Of course, baby.”

“Thank you.”

When my mom came back, our food had arrived and I dug in before she sat down; I was way too hungry.

“Sorry, Mom. I couldn’t wait.”

“Don’t apologize.”

I nodded and continued to eat.

“How’s your breakfast?” I asked her.

“Delicious. I was starving.”

Once breakfast was over, we headed back to the car and figured out what we wanted to do.

“I actually want to take a nap. Would you guys mind?” my mom asked.

It was noon and she was on a plane for six hours. I was surprised she didn’t want to take a nap earlier.

“We don’t mind at all. A nap actually sounds nice.” I replied.

When we got home and in the door, my mom’s mouth dropped; it caused me to laugh as I had a similar reaction the first time I stepped in here.

“This place is gorgeous.” she said in awe.

“Thank you. How long have you being living here, Abby?”

“For the past seven months. I love it here.”

“I can see why. Where am I staying?”

“I’ll show you.” I said as I lead her to the guest room with Alex behind her.

After she got comfortable, Alex and I went off to our bedroom for a nap of our own.

“I was hoping she wanted to go for a nap. I’m in need of a nap.” I said lying down.

“You didn’t seem to sleep well last night.”

“Yeah. I got maybe, five hours.”

I placed my head on his chest and fell asleep in no time. I woke two hours later to an empty bed.

“Alex?” I asked groggily.

“Hey sleepyhead.” he said, walking out of the bathroom.

“Hey. Come here. I wanna kiss you.”

I was still trying to wake up. He laughed and walked over and crawled onto the bed. I kissed him and pushed him down, crawling on top of Alex. I got a response as he grabbed my shirt and pulled me down while kissing me. I moved down and kissed along his jawline when I heard my mom’s footsteps in the living room.

“No.” I said into his neck.

“It’s not a good idea to while your mom’s here anyway."

I protested.

"But, I want you so bad right now."

"I want you in the same way, but we're gonna have to keep our pants on till she's gone."

I smiled and go off of him.

"Abby? Alex? You two up?"

I sighed and got off the bed.

"Yeah. We'll be out in a minute, Mom!"

I used the bathroom real quick and followed Alex out to the living room where my mom was sitting on the couch. Her eyes went straight to my engagement ring; she was in awe, again.

"This is beautiful." she picked my hand up and I began to laugh.

"Thank you. This unbelievably attractive and adorable guy proposed to me back in May. I just had to say yes."

Alex laughed as he walked over and sat beside me.

"Where'd you propose?"

"Where we had our first date. She was blindsided."

"I came back from the restroom to see him get on one knee."

I sat back and practically melted into him with my head on his shoulder and an arm around my waist. He took my left hand in his and I didn't have any desire to let it go.

"That's so romantic." my mom cooed.

“Do you have any idea on what else you wanna do today?”

“How about we head to that Pink’s hotdog place I’ve seen on the Travel Channel?”

“Then, you know there’s probably gonna be a huge line, Mom.”

“Well, I don’t know if I’m gonna get there again.”

“Ok. Alex? Sound good?”

“I’m always up for a good hot dog.”

“I’ll fix my hair, put on some sunblock and come back.”

Alex followed me into the bedroom.

“How hot is it again?” I asked, fixing my hair.

“90 degrees.” he said looking at his phone.

“Godfuckingdamnit. You know, sometimes, I just hate this LA weather.”

He helped put block on my fair skinned back.

“I need to relax.”

He pulled me back into him, taking hold of me and I took deep breaths in and out till I calmed down. My mom didn’t need to see me like this.

“Better?”

I nodded.

“How do you think your mom’s gonna take the news about your rape and PTSD?”

“Well, if she says that she understands my depression, she should show a lot more concern and understanding. It’s wonderful her being here, but if she doesn’t get what’s been going on in my life, this visit will turn out to be a complete waste of time.”

He nodded.

“I love you.” he said.

“I love you, too.”

I had to stand there for a minute before moving. I walked out and saw my mom in the kitchen.

“Hi Mom.”

“Hi honey. You ready to go?”

“Yep. Alex?”

“Yeah.”

We had the same seating arrangements as we did in the morning. I felt more refreshed and relaxed when I began driving because who knew how I’d be once we got to Pink’s. When we got there, I saw a line, just like I’d expected to see. I kept a water on me like I usually do, so I wouldn’t get dehydrated.

“I think we’re gonna be here for up to an hour.” I sighed.

“I can handle it.”

“It’s gonna be hard. There’s no water nearby like this, so we can jump into when we want to. I just wanna let you know.” I said in the nicest way possible.

I was on the verge of being snippy and Alex knew it; a squeeze of my shoulder helped calm me.

“It’s gonna be okay.” he whispered into my ear.

My mom’s phone rang and she immediately answered it, seeing who it was; it was her boyfriend. I took a sip of my water and quickly put it back in my purse as she ended her call.

“How is he?”

“Good, but he really misses me.”

I smiled.

“He sounds like such a sweet guy. How long have you two been dating?”

“For about three years now. I think he’s the one.”

A huge smile appeared on her face; I hugged her immediately.

“I’m so happy for you, Mom.”

“I really want you to meet him. When I told him that you only wanted to see me if we were gonna reconcile, he couldn’t have been more understanding.”

My heart melted and nearly an hour later when we got to the front of the line and ordered, I was surprised I hadn’t melted into a puddle.

“Mind if we eat in the car? The heat’s starting to get to me.” I asked.

I walked toward the car as I said this. I actually didn’t care for an answer; that’s where I needed to go. Alex knew exactly how I was feeling and was instantly worried.

“What’s wrong?”

“The heat. That’s it.” I said on the verge of tears, but I held them in.

I can’t fucking stand being outside in line in 90 degree weather without any water nearby for me to jump into. I unlocked the car and got in and turned on the air conditioning before taking a bite of my hot dog.

“Can I get you anything, honey?” my mom asked.

I shook my head.

“I just need to chill is all.”

Alex, who decided to sit behind my mom, kept an eye on me because he cares about me too much.

“How’s your hot dog, Mom?”

“Delicious. Best one I’ve ever had. What about yours?”

I made an ok sign while I took another bite.

“Alex?” I asked with my mouth full.

I’m sure he got a kick out of that. He laughed.

“Amazing.”

I was smiling again and was tempted to kiss him and would’ve if my breath didn’t smell like onions and his didn’t smell like jalapeños.

“Abby, please don’t talk with your mouth full.”

Alex got his phone out and texted me, probably because it was something inappropriate. I pulled my phone out and read it and laughed to myself.

I love it when your mouth is full... of me.

“Who is it?”

“Oh, it’s uh... Miranda. She was just curious about how this visit is going.”

“How is she?”

“Really good. Very happy.”

“Tell her I said, hi.”

“Will do.”

Instead of texting Miranda, I texted Alex back.

I always enjoy having you in my mouth.

He smirked and winked at me.

“She say hi?”

He sent a 'hi' text for me.

“Yeah.”

“Well, thank you for that late lunch/early dinner... whatever you wanna call it. I’m full now.”

“Me too.” I said belching.

Alex busted out laughing like me.

“Abigail! That’s disgusting.”

“Excuse me.”

“That’s just a sign it was a good meal, at least it is for us.” Alex said.

My mom shook her head.

“Can we go home? I didn’t get enough sleep last night and that heat pretty much kicked my ass. We can order something later if we’re still hungry.” I said.

“I’m fine with that. I’m wore out.” my mom replied.

“And you know I am, baby.”

When we got home, I slipped out of my sandals and walked in the direction of the kitchen to get a drink.

“Please sit. I’ll get you something to drink.”

I smiled and kissed him.

“Thank you.”

If my mom wasn’t here, I would’ve stretched out, but I knew that wasn’t a possibility. Instead, I propped my feet out on the living room table and laid my head back. Alex came back with a water for my mom and one for myself; he sat beside me when he brought back a water for himself.

“Does anybody wanna watch anything?” he asked.

“NFL Network.” I mumbled.

“That’s fine, although I don’t get it. Your father was obsessed with football.” my mom said.

Can I please not hear that name again? Can I?! At least during this visit would be fine.

My hand clenched into a fist and I was ready to go off.

“Can we not mention him, Mom? He didn’t bother to stick around, so he doesn’t deserve to have us talk about him. He’s fucking despicable and I hate him. I fucking hate him so much.” I said, getting louder by the second.

“Fine, honey. I’m sorry, but he left me high and dry to raise you all by myself and if I wanna mention him, it’s because I actually knew him.”

“Just please don’t mention in my presence out of respect for me, aka your daughter and only child. I’ve been through enough shit since May and I just can’t handle anything else.”

I broke down in Alex’s arms and began to sob. He had pulled me into him in the middle of my first speech and wasn’t planning on letting me go. My mom was speechless which I was thankful for because I can’t take anymore today.

“Can we go to our room, please?” I asked into his neck.

“Of course.”

We got up and neither one of us said a damn thing.

“I’m gonna take a shower. I’m disgusting. Could you come with me?” I said.

For once, when one of us asked that, there was no sexual inclination which depressed me.

“Always.”

After a silent shower, I started to feel better. I changed into my usual lying around the house clothes and crawled onto the bed.

“I’m sorry that you had to hear what was on my mind this morning in that way. I wanted to talk about the topic in private.”

I was lying on my back, staring at the ceiling.

“You have no need to apologize, Abby. You really don’t. It sucks that it came out that way, sure, but it needed to be said. You’re in the right.”

I smiled to myself.

“What did I do to deserve you?” I asked facing him on my side.

I moved closer and kissed him.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

I laughed into his bare chest. He lifted my head and kissed me, pulling me closer.

“I love you.” he said.

“I love you, too. Can we uh... actually watch NFL Network?”

He laughed and turned on the television and flipped to that channel.

Notes