Don't Be So Sentimental, This Love Was Accidental
The Scars We Share
Lillie’s POV
I woke up the next morning feeling sore but surprisingly refreshed. It took me a moment to realize where I was, but once that finally registered I breathed blissful sigh. I was somewhere where people actually wanted to be around me. Once they knew me better that was bound to change, but for now, Alex Gaskarth’s house was the perfect place to be.
“Lillie, are you up?” Alex shouted from downstairs. I glanced at the alarm clock in my room. It was 10:00. Usually I was the first one up, but I’d had a long night.
“Yeah, I’m up.” I said, trotting down the stairs. Jack and Rian were sitting at the kitchen table and Alex was in the kitchen making pancakes.
“Good morning, sunshine.” Jack smiled.
“Morning, Jack.” I said, sitting down next to him.
“Breakfast?” Alex offered. I nodded. “Zack’s sleeping in late. As per usual.” Alex added, coming over to the table with a plate of pancakes. Jack immediately jumped all over them, tossing three onto his plate. Alex, Rian, and I all took two. “Sleep well, Lillie?”
“Yeah, it was great.” I said honestly. “Best sleep I’ve had in a long time, actually.”
“You’re welcome to stay for as long as you like.” Alex said. There was something in his voice that told me he wanted me to stay.
“Could I at least run home sometime today and get some clothes, then?” I asked as Jack passed me the syrup.
“What’s wrong with my t-shirt?” Alex asked, tickling me in the side. I giggled an embarrassingly girly giggle and pushed him away.
“Nothing. But I’m not wearing the same thing forever.” I said. He stopped tickling me and laughed lightly.
“Yeah, I’ll take you by your house right now, if you want. I wanted to go mini-golfing or bowling or something today. Are you in?” I felt like a member of the group already. Not that I’m complaining. I’m damn glad I’m not a pity party anymore.
“I’m totally in.” I say.
“Cool. I’m just going to get changed and we can swing by your house so you can pick up some stuff. Then we can come back here and pick up the guys.” I nodded in agreement as Alex bounded upstairs to change. Rian excused himself to use the restroom and Jack slid himself into the seat next to me.
“Hey, Lil.” Jack said.
“Hey, Jack.” I said lightly.
“You’re gorgeous, you know that?” Jack breathed on my face. He was very attractive, I’d give him that.
“I’m not fucking you, Jack.” I say definitely. Jack leaned back in the chair and pouted. I laughed. “Sorry.”
“Well, whatever. You really are gorgeous, I mean that. And I’m here for you if you need anything.” Jack said, turning away slightly. “Sexually or otherwise.” I shook my head. I didn’t think I came across as that desperate.
“Thanks, Jack.” I said, smiling brightly. I slid my arms around him in a hug as Alex came down the stairs. I pulled away from Jack. Alex was wearing green skinny jeans and a black Blink-182 t-shirt. “Cool shirt.” I said, “Blink is one of my favorite bands.”
“Mine too.” Alex grinned. “Let’s go.” He looked really good right now. His hair looked darker than the day before, but it was probably just my imagination. It was still perfectly messy. Once we climbed into his car and he started driving, he bit his lip. I found that really sexy. “Where do you live?”
“512 Circlestone Court.” I said “It’s in the River Falls complex.” Alex nodded and headed towards River Falls. It was one of the better known complexes around the city, but it was kind of far out from Alex’s house.
“So tell me more about yourself, Lillie.” Alex said.
“What do you want to know?” I asked, twirling my hair around my finger. He looked at me and laughed.
“I do that, too. The hair twirling thing. When I’m tired. They guys find it annoying.” Alex said. I slowly brought my hand down from my head and rested it in my lap. The last thing I wanted to do was annoy the incredible guy who had generously brought me into his home. “So why do you live alone, Lillie?” I hesitated. I thought he’d want to know my favorite color or something, but this was a sort of touchy subject.
“Well, my dad ran out when I was about five, after my brother was born, so I never really knew him. My mom was arrested when I was nineteen for alcohol abuse. Child services offered to find me and my brother a place to live, but they said we might get split up. Since I was eighteen, I offered to keep the house and finish raising my brother myself.” I said quietly, hoping Alex wouldn’t push further.
“What about your brother?” Alex asked. This is where I didn’t want the conversation to go.
“He died.” I said, my voice trembling and my eyes watering. Alex pulled over and stopped the car.
“Lillie, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t know--” Alex’s voice was genuine and tender.
“No, you didn’t know. It’s fine.” I said. But it obviously wasn’t fine. I was sobbing now. Partially because of how humiliating I was being, sobbing like a baby in front of Alex. But Alex didn’t seem to mind. He wrapped him arms around me and held me close as I sobbed onto his shoulder.
“I know how you feel right know, Lillie--” Alex started. That upset me. How could he know how I felt if he’d never been through what I’d been through?
“No you don’t. You don’t know what it’s like to receive news that your brother is dead. One second he was there and then just like that he’s gone.” I was hysterical.
“Actually I do.” Alex said. “My brother, Tom, committed suicide awhile ago.” I pulled away from Alex and gaped. I felt so guilty.
“Alex. Alex, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.” I was horrified.
“It’s alright. How were you going to know that?” Alex faked a smile. “How’d he die? Your brother? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Car accident. I was driving. A drunk truck driver hit us on the passenger’s side. He died on impact.” Alex pulled me back into his arms and rubbed my back. It felt amazing to have someone understand me like that. Other people could only be sorry but Alex—Alex really understood my pain. We spent at least two full minutes in the silence, consoling each other. His touch was soothing to me. Alex’s hands were shaky and his chest was rising and falling heavily. He pulled away from me and looked me in the eyes. There was a precipitous silence followed by Alex Gaskarth’s lips crashing onto mine. I put a hand on his neck and he gently touched my arm before pulling away. The kiss only lasted a second, but it felt endless. Pure bliss.
“I’m so sorry.” Alex said, looking away from me.
“It’s fine.” I said. “I’m glad you did it.” I smiled at him and he smiled back. I really hoped that wasn’t just a spur of the moment thing for Alex, because for me, it was the most sought after and pleasurable moment of my life. Alex started driving again, but now there was a lighter environment. I felt slightly more open than I had a few moments ago. Alex Gaskarth really understood me. That, and he had the lips of a god.
I woke up the next morning feeling sore but surprisingly refreshed. It took me a moment to realize where I was, but once that finally registered I breathed blissful sigh. I was somewhere where people actually wanted to be around me. Once they knew me better that was bound to change, but for now, Alex Gaskarth’s house was the perfect place to be.
“Lillie, are you up?” Alex shouted from downstairs. I glanced at the alarm clock in my room. It was 10:00. Usually I was the first one up, but I’d had a long night.
“Yeah, I’m up.” I said, trotting down the stairs. Jack and Rian were sitting at the kitchen table and Alex was in the kitchen making pancakes.
“Good morning, sunshine.” Jack smiled.
“Morning, Jack.” I said, sitting down next to him.
“Breakfast?” Alex offered. I nodded. “Zack’s sleeping in late. As per usual.” Alex added, coming over to the table with a plate of pancakes. Jack immediately jumped all over them, tossing three onto his plate. Alex, Rian, and I all took two. “Sleep well, Lillie?”
“Yeah, it was great.” I said honestly. “Best sleep I’ve had in a long time, actually.”
“You’re welcome to stay for as long as you like.” Alex said. There was something in his voice that told me he wanted me to stay.
“Could I at least run home sometime today and get some clothes, then?” I asked as Jack passed me the syrup.
“What’s wrong with my t-shirt?” Alex asked, tickling me in the side. I giggled an embarrassingly girly giggle and pushed him away.
“Nothing. But I’m not wearing the same thing forever.” I said. He stopped tickling me and laughed lightly.
“Yeah, I’ll take you by your house right now, if you want. I wanted to go mini-golfing or bowling or something today. Are you in?” I felt like a member of the group already. Not that I’m complaining. I’m damn glad I’m not a pity party anymore.
“I’m totally in.” I say.
“Cool. I’m just going to get changed and we can swing by your house so you can pick up some stuff. Then we can come back here and pick up the guys.” I nodded in agreement as Alex bounded upstairs to change. Rian excused himself to use the restroom and Jack slid himself into the seat next to me.
“Hey, Lil.” Jack said.
“Hey, Jack.” I said lightly.
“You’re gorgeous, you know that?” Jack breathed on my face. He was very attractive, I’d give him that.
“I’m not fucking you, Jack.” I say definitely. Jack leaned back in the chair and pouted. I laughed. “Sorry.”
“Well, whatever. You really are gorgeous, I mean that. And I’m here for you if you need anything.” Jack said, turning away slightly. “Sexually or otherwise.” I shook my head. I didn’t think I came across as that desperate.
“Thanks, Jack.” I said, smiling brightly. I slid my arms around him in a hug as Alex came down the stairs. I pulled away from Jack. Alex was wearing green skinny jeans and a black Blink-182 t-shirt. “Cool shirt.” I said, “Blink is one of my favorite bands.”
“Mine too.” Alex grinned. “Let’s go.” He looked really good right now. His hair looked darker than the day before, but it was probably just my imagination. It was still perfectly messy. Once we climbed into his car and he started driving, he bit his lip. I found that really sexy. “Where do you live?”
“512 Circlestone Court.” I said “It’s in the River Falls complex.” Alex nodded and headed towards River Falls. It was one of the better known complexes around the city, but it was kind of far out from Alex’s house.
“So tell me more about yourself, Lillie.” Alex said.
“What do you want to know?” I asked, twirling my hair around my finger. He looked at me and laughed.
“I do that, too. The hair twirling thing. When I’m tired. They guys find it annoying.” Alex said. I slowly brought my hand down from my head and rested it in my lap. The last thing I wanted to do was annoy the incredible guy who had generously brought me into his home. “So why do you live alone, Lillie?” I hesitated. I thought he’d want to know my favorite color or something, but this was a sort of touchy subject.
“Well, my dad ran out when I was about five, after my brother was born, so I never really knew him. My mom was arrested when I was nineteen for alcohol abuse. Child services offered to find me and my brother a place to live, but they said we might get split up. Since I was eighteen, I offered to keep the house and finish raising my brother myself.” I said quietly, hoping Alex wouldn’t push further.
“What about your brother?” Alex asked. This is where I didn’t want the conversation to go.
“He died.” I said, my voice trembling and my eyes watering. Alex pulled over and stopped the car.
“Lillie, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t know--” Alex’s voice was genuine and tender.
“No, you didn’t know. It’s fine.” I said. But it obviously wasn’t fine. I was sobbing now. Partially because of how humiliating I was being, sobbing like a baby in front of Alex. But Alex didn’t seem to mind. He wrapped him arms around me and held me close as I sobbed onto his shoulder.
“I know how you feel right know, Lillie--” Alex started. That upset me. How could he know how I felt if he’d never been through what I’d been through?
“No you don’t. You don’t know what it’s like to receive news that your brother is dead. One second he was there and then just like that he’s gone.” I was hysterical.
“Actually I do.” Alex said. “My brother, Tom, committed suicide awhile ago.” I pulled away from Alex and gaped. I felt so guilty.
“Alex. Alex, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.” I was horrified.
“It’s alright. How were you going to know that?” Alex faked a smile. “How’d he die? Your brother? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Car accident. I was driving. A drunk truck driver hit us on the passenger’s side. He died on impact.” Alex pulled me back into his arms and rubbed my back. It felt amazing to have someone understand me like that. Other people could only be sorry but Alex—Alex really understood my pain. We spent at least two full minutes in the silence, consoling each other. His touch was soothing to me. Alex’s hands were shaky and his chest was rising and falling heavily. He pulled away from me and looked me in the eyes. There was a precipitous silence followed by Alex Gaskarth’s lips crashing onto mine. I put a hand on his neck and he gently touched my arm before pulling away. The kiss only lasted a second, but it felt endless. Pure bliss.
“I’m so sorry.” Alex said, looking away from me.
“It’s fine.” I said. “I’m glad you did it.” I smiled at him and he smiled back. I really hoped that wasn’t just a spur of the moment thing for Alex, because for me, it was the most sought after and pleasurable moment of my life. Alex started driving again, but now there was a lighter environment. I felt slightly more open than I had a few moments ago. Alex Gaskarth really understood me. That, and he had the lips of a god.
Bro. Where'd you go?! This is so good!
12/22/13