Trigger warning self harm

Jack's POV

"Boys can you not talk about this at the dinner table and especially in front of Josh." Ava said seriously.
"Come on mam, Josh isn't that innocent." Wes said and Josh just glared at Wes.
"Shut up Wes or I'll stab you." Josh said and you would think everyone would be worried about it but we was all used to Josh saying things like this, it wasn't unless he was really angry and that's when he'll act on what he had said.
"Joshua stop, Wesley pack it in now." Ava said seriously and everyone just stopped joking round.
"How's your head Jack?" Jasey asked.
"Is okay, just a little sore. Hey I'm going to go home for a bit." I said and I felt everyone eyes on me.
"You sure? Want me to come with you?" Jasey asked and I could hear concern in her voice.
I felt a hand on top of mine which made me jump and move my hand away and look at the person who the hand belonged too.
"Yes I'm sure, if you want to come with me then you can. Why is everyone looking at me, I don't like it." I said and pushed my chair out suddenly feeling trapped.
"I'll take him." I heard Alex say and he got up and I did the same and walked off.
"I don't need your fucking help. I might be blind but I'm not fucking useless!" I snapped at Alex.
"Never said you was useless, I want to make sure you get home safe." Alex said and I rolled my eyes and just walked out the front door with Alex following.

We got to my house and I just stood at the front door and looked down.
"You okay Jack?" Alex asked.
"I'm okay, thanks for walking me home and I'm sorry I snapped at you. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend and I hope to see you soon." I said and frowned at my choice of words.
"Hey, it's fine I'm used to it now. But I'm moving back home for a while until I can get myself together and get a apartment. So you'll be hearing a lot more from me." Alex said and I could hear the smile in his voice which made me smile.
"But what about college?" I asked.
"It is cheaper for me to stay at mams and pops then on campus and I'm also in a lot of shit as well so I thought it would be better to come home and just drive to college. It's no biggie, it's like a hour drive from here anyway. Bit of a bitch for morning lessons but who's to complain." Alex said and I smiled.
"Anyway, my number is in your phone as I think Jase put it in there." Alex said and I frowned.
"She trying to hook us up?" I asked confused.
"Hey!, I'm not that bad looking thank you very much. Can definitely keep up with you." Alex said and I scoffed which made Alex chuckle.
"Really? Like to see you try." I said and turned round and felt for the door handle and when I found it I opened the door and walked inside and shut the door behind me with a smile on my face.

Before I could even think I was slapped round the face which really caught me by surprise.
"Where the fucking hell was you last night!" My mum shouted at me and she was way too close for my liking since I could feel her breath on my face.
"Fucking answer me you blind twat!" Mum shouted and I could feel her hand raising and I flinched away from her and that's went I felt something hard being slapped against my side and that's when I went to the floor and went into a ball to protect myself.
"Tell me where you was Jack!" Mum shouted yet again and I felt her kick me hard in my stomach.
"I was with the Gaskarths." I cried as I felt tears roll down my face and I felt mum grabbing my hair and pulling it making me look at her.
"Why was you with them?" Mum growled.
"Jasey Rae invited me round to see everyone since they was all at home for the weekend." I said and sniffed loudly.
"You can't fucking see Jack! What did I say to you about them!" Mum said loudly and even know what she said about me not being able to see was true but it still hurt a lot when she said that.
"I'm not allowed to go round and see them and I'm not allowed to be friends with Jasey Rae." I said quietly and looked down and felt hurt because the Gaskarths was my family in my eyes and they don't even care that I can't see and Ava and Fred even treat me like another child.
"That's right, now you need to go to your room and stay out of my sight I have friends coming round." Mum said and let go of my hair and I nodded and turned round and walked off holding my side.

Once I got into my room, I shut my door and felt for where my desk was and when I found it I felt for the draw and once I got that opened I felt around for my blades.
Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I can't do things like normal people can do, I just have to do things differenly a little to get what I want.
I found my blade and I walked over to my bed and I sat down on it and I rolled my sleeve up and felt in my arm where the rest of my scars and cuts was and once I found it I felt round for the sharp part of the blade which made me cut my finger a little but I smiled when I found it and I started to cut my arm and I knew these cuts was going to be deeper than my normal ones but I didn't care, right now I just wanted to be dead.

I was lost inside my head when I heard my front door banging against the wall.
I quickly rolled my sleeve down and I got up and put my blade away and with using wet wipes to get the blood of my hands but I knew Jasey would know what I had done.
"Jack where are you?!" I heard Alex say loudly and running up the stairs and I heard another set of footsteps behind him.
"He'll be in his bedroom. It's this one." I heard Jasey say and my door flew open.
"Get the fuck out of there! You have no right to be in my house!" Mum shouted and I flinched at her voice and I think Alex and Jasey.
"Deal with Jack for me please." Jasey said and I knew she was going to go to town on mum as I guess she knew something was going on at home.
"Come on Jack, I need to get you out of here." Alex said softly and I felt his hand on my back which made me jump and move away from him.
"Jack tell me what's been happening." Alex said quietly and I just walked into a corner and slide down the wall and made myself as small as I could and hissed in pain because my side really hurts.
Im guessing Alex is looking round and making observations or what.
I heard Alex walk over and I felt his hand on my knee.
"We have to go Jack." Alex said softly and I shook my head because I felt really scared.
"Baby, I know your scared but you need to come with me and Jase so then you can be safe." Alex said quietly and I sniffed because I didn't know I was crying.
I heard loads of shouting and it was making its way upstairs and I tensed up and made myself even smaller and backed into the corner trying to hide behind my wardrobe.
"Jack, Jack you need to listen to me okay. Focus on me and not what is going on outside of this room which I know is hard for you to do but can you try for me?" Alex said and I felt his hand on my knee again and I looked towards the door as he spoke as if there was someone by the door.
I moved trying to get behind the wardrobe.
"Jack, you're not going to fit behind there sweetie. The gap is too small for you." Alex said and I felt him get hold of my hand and I looked at him.
"Shell we leave?" Alex asked and I nodded and shuffled forward where Alex helped me up.
As soon as I stood up my legs gave out from under me.
"Shit Jack. Come on we really need to go now and we're going to the hospital." Alex said and I felt myself being picked up and I hid my face in Alex's chest and just sobbed refusing to cry really hard which is what I want to do.
"It's okay Jack your going to be safe now, just don't fall asleep on me okay." Alex said and I don't think I managed to keep my eyes open as I didn't hear Alex after that.

Notes