Goodbyes are never easy. Well, only certain goodbyes are. The ones you say when you know you’ll see the other person in a couple of hours (for example when you go to work or school and say goodbye to your family before you leave) were very easy and occurred on a daily basis. Then there were the ones you said to somebody without knowing if you’d ever see each other again, the difficulty depending on how close you were to the person. If you said goodbye to the guy you met on the bus, then it wasn’t all too difficult, but if you had to say goodbye to your best friend just before you moved out of the country, then it was quite obviously more difficult. It all depended on the situation and your relationship with the other person. But we can all agree that goodbyes were quite ironic. You see, they were never good. So, what’s the point of the name? Quite a euphemism, right?

Alex said goodbyes quite frequently. He was a touring musician for goodness sake! All he did was say goodbye to friends and family when he first had to leave, and then practically had to say it every day to the new people he met in different cities, only to have to say goodbye to his crew and band members at the very end. It was a continuous cycle that probably wasn’t going to end anytime soon. He was very used to it by now. Of course, he always missed home, but he had gotten used to it. If he were to be honest, he probably would have been bored and fed up if he didn’t get to tour the world. As much as he liked the comfort of home, staying in one place for too long wasn’t really his thing.

Riley was the complete opposite of that. Change actually confused her more often than not. It was why this whole relationship was going to go down the drain, especially with what was going to happen next. She had a fixed group of people around her; her brother was around every single day and the only goodbye they said to each other was when he went to work, she’d see her parents at least once every two weeks so those goodbyes also weren’t really anything special, and she never had to say goodbye to Iggy. And Alex… oh, Alex. She was so used to seeing him every day and being around him at least a couple of days a week. They were only getting closer and closer.

But Alex’s stay at home wasn’t going to last forever. He had to get back on the road and sing for all of his fans.

The tours were already long planned out, they had been for a couple of months, and he had told Riley about them before, but they had been practically ignoring it for as long as possible. Alex was more focused on building his relationship with her while Riley was busy enjoying it. No, it wasn’t a one-sided relationship (or I would have been way more negative about it, not just taking their lifestyle differences into account), but Alex just wanted to secure that she would be waiting for him and that he so wouldn’t be waiting for her for no reason. Riley, however, had no idea he was so desperately trying to do this, and was more focused on the now. She wasn’t too worried about their future just yet.

In case you were wondering, yes, Alex eventually managed to ask Riley to be his girlfriend. He so badly wanted to do it in sign language and Jack really tried to help him by asking multiple times how to do it so that he could impress girls (this obviously was a complete lie and he was only trying to give Alex what he wanted), but it was way more difficult than it sounded. Alex would master it during the lesson, and then forget it the next morning. So, he just went for the writing-it-out-on-paper style. It wasn’t anything romantic, he literally asked her when they were cuddled up on the couch together watching a movie. The subtitles were on for Riley, and at first she didn’t even realize Alex was asking her a question. When he finally got her attention, Riley replied back by scribbling down that she already thought she was his girlfriend. I mean, it had been nearly two months into their relationship, Alex was pretty late with asking.

All I can think about is how Alex was probably never going to get the hang of ASL. He was really trying, and I’ll admit that that was pretty cute, but he just couldn’t get things right! His alphabet was nearly perfect, and he knew some basic phrases, but that was all. There was no way he could actually properly communicate with her that way unless ‘Hi’, ‘Alex’, ‘Riley’, ‘Tonight’, and ‘House’ were enough to have a full conversation. So, no, I don’t think so. I’m telling you, this is going to screw them over if Alex’s career wouldn’t get in the way first.

It was just a normal evening. Alex had invited Riley over for dinner. He cooked, set the table, lit some candles, tried to set a specific mood… you know, all the stuff he could do. It wasn’t that he was out for something specific, but he didn’t mind one bit if it led to that at all. They still hadn’t gone that far, and he didn’t mind all too much, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up in a conversation. A perfect example of the communication barrier. He under no circumstances wanted to write down the words ‘hey, what’s your view on having sex with me?’, but he also didn’t want to risk Riley not understanding what he was trying to say and have to repeat the words multiple times. It was quite an awkward thing to bring up, even though he had no trouble making jokes about it up on stage.

So, instead, he had been subtly hinting towards it. If she wasn’t comfortable, he would know and then he’d know to slow down and wait. The first step was watching a rom-com with a sex scene to see her overall reaction, and that was all good. She didn’t seem to mind it at all, so she wasn’t repulsed. But then came the part of knowing how far she would let him go. Now, that was a lot more difficult. She’d let him kiss her for way longer than just a simple kiss, but it hadn’t gone to full blown making out yet. Alex was just testing the waters.

But it’s also a perfect way to ruin a relationship.

After dinner, Riley decided to stay the night. No, nothing happened. Alex didn’t even try with the news he had to break to her again. So, that’s a way different story for another time. Let’s just focus on the actual subject matter of this part: saying goodbyes. Back to Riley staying the night…

Oh, right, yes. It wasn’t the day that Alex was leaving on tour… yet. But he was going to pretty soon. In exactly a week from the day that I’m describing right now. Like I said before, they had practically ignored the date, wanting to focus more on their relationship than on the short break that was going to happen. Alex was actually afraid that Riley had completely forgotten. And, let me tell you, she had. Because of her inability to hear, she had never heard of All Time Low, so she kept forgetting that Alex was in the band, let alone that they toured frequently. His career wasn’t really something that influenced her much. To her, he was just a guy… a pretty awesome guy.

Well, Alex wasn’t going to forget his career at all. He practically lived for it! He had no clue what he would have been doing if All Time Low hadn’t become as successful as it did. His grades in school had never been good and he hadn’t even applied to colleges. Stupid move, but it all worked out in the end. He was basically the opposite of Riley, who had pretty good grades at school and did an online course rather that going to an actual university. Opposites attract… unfortunately.

The next morning, the pair were just lying in bed, both wearing one of Alex’s shirts, the duvet long thrown off the bed. These were the only mornings that Alex actually wouldn’t bother getting out of bed on time to get his mail and let the dogs out. He liked cuddling with Riley way more. Sometimes, (eventually) they would go out on a walk with the dogs, and other times the dogs had to drag them out of bed to let them out. It really depended on their moods. They weren’t sure what mood they were in yet this specific time.

Although they were so comfortable, Alex decided it was now or never to break the news of the one week they still had. He pushed himself up with his hands so he was sitting and looked down at Riley. Although she wasn’t asleep, she was still lying on her back with her eyes shut lightly. To get her attention in a calm way, Alex continued to lean on his left hand while he used his other to softly stroke Riley’s right cheek. Her eyes fluttered opened and she smiled as she saw him staring down at her. He leaned down and briefly let their lips connect. It almost gave a sense that something was wrong, but Riley didn’t seem to pick it up.

“Hey, um, I thought I’d, um, thought I’d remind you that I have to go back on, um, tour in a week,” Alex announced as he ran his fingers through his hair since it kept falling into his face from looking down.

Riley shook her head while she put on a thinking face, notifying Alex she didn’t understand a word that he had said. It made sense, he had been mumbling quite a bit because he didn’t want to face the truth himself. At least he got another chance to say it, only this time he decided to say it in a more direct way.

“I have to go back on tour in a week,” he repeated in a slower and clearer voice.

Riley frowned and sat up as well, sitting crisscrossed, showing just how big Alex’s shirt actually was for her because it could have stretched over her knees. Alex thought she understood and was now upset because of the sudden announcement and that it was so soon. But that wasn’t it at all. She signed the gesture for ‘again’ and tried to focus more on his words.

So, Alex said it again, but it didn’t seem to help at all. She shook her head and reached out for the paper and pen that was laid out on the bedside table on her side of the bed (yes, her side. Alex had decided that it was going to be that way), and passed it on to him. Alex sighed quietly even though Riley couldn’t hear, and took the notepad from her. He scribbled down the exact words he had said to her before and turned around the paper for her to read.

Her eyes scanned the page and she took both the writing utensil and paper back from her boyfriend. When she showed Alex what her answer was, all he saw was a scribbled sad face before his eyes were drawn to the pout she was putting on. It did break his heart to leave her, but there was no other way. He could hardly ask her to come with him, that was just unrealistic since there was no space on the bus and he’d probably have to ask Casper to come along as well. Then there was the option of asking if she’d visit and at least come to one of the shows, but what was the fun in that? They’d get one hour tops and she wouldn’t even get to hear what he was singing. How would any of the tours go?

This was going to be way more difficult than he had expected.

His band members, other than Jack, didn’t even know he had a girlfriend, let alone that she was deaf. It was going to be so difficult to even bring it up! If telling his band members was difficult, imagine how the fans would take it. So much hate. Oh, poor girl. She’d be accused of not supporting Alex’s career and there wouldn’t be a way for her to say that it was all lies. Hit her right where it hurts the most. She wouldn’t be good for Alex anyway. I mean, I’ve been saying it the entire time. More proof that I was right all along.

Stop before it goes too far.

Notes

So, nobody's reading, nobody's suggesting. Some part of me expected this, so it's not too much of a shocker. I'll just stop writing this and think of something people might enjoy more.