To the Moon and Back

Charlie's POV

It is raining today. The air is damp and warm and after I went for a walk with Luke I decide to stay in and chill on the couch. I put on some music and just stare at the ceiling. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know I awake to someone stroking my cheek.

I open my eyes and see Alex beside me looking down with a concerned expression on his face.
"Sharky? Are you okay?"

"Hi Alex," I have to smile. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just fell asleep." I sit up and pat the space beside me.

"Come sit down" but Luke is faster than him and jumps up and down on the couch trying to lick Alex's face. He smiles and picks Luke up, sits down and puts him in his lap.

"I begin to think my dog loves you more than he likes me." I pout and ruffle Luke's fur. "What brings you here, Alex"

"I wanted to apologise for yesterday." He scratches the back of his head looking uncomfortable. "I would like to explain, but-"

"No need for that" I stop him putting my hand over his mouth. "I realised I shouldn't have asked you, it's none of my business, we all have our different ways to cope with life."

He pulls away my hand. "But I want to talk to you. I want to explain, but I can't. I don't know. I just feel so.." He raises my arm and rests his lips on the inside of my hand not really kissing but more feeling it.

I have figured out by now that Alex has more going on than meets the eye but I think I get what he means and I don't want to see him this sad.

"I have a great idea" I look at him smiling. "How about a picnic? I know exactly the right place for it."

Alex frowns. "Sharky, I don't know, it's raining outside and it's getting dark"

I already get up packing my backpack with everything I find in the kitchen and I have to laugh at his reservations.

"So? Are you gonna melt or what, sugarcube?" I nudge him.

Alex's POV

She dragged me along the slowly darkening streets in the drizzling rain, I wasn't too sure about her idea but she seemed so excited that I went along with her plan. She took my hand and laced our fingers together. I carried Luke on my other arm because he was tired.

After a while we left the road and entered an area that looked like an abandoned industrial site.
We stumbled over railroad tracks and walked past heaps of rusting barrels and other kind of garbage.

She stops in front of a row of old containers and points toward a stack of three. "Up there" she smiles and starts to climb up along the small inbuilt steps at the side.

I follow her, with only one hand to hold on, carrying the puppy in the other.
When we reach the top she sits down and starts to unpack her bag.

I am confused. "That's your right place for a picnic? This is practically a junkyard. I expected a bit more romantic and beautiful setting" I sit down beside her.

She chuckles and looks at me with a smile " I bet you think it's ugly here and you are right. It's so ugly that it is amazing."

She takes my jaw and turns my head into a certain direction. "You know where we are here? These are the old docklands of Baltimore. Over there is the ocean. Just imagine the view." She whispers at my ear and her voice sends warm waves through my body although I am pretty damp and cold by now.

We open a bottle of red wine and eat some fruit. She leans into my side and we pass the bottle.

The scenery would perfectly fit a science fiction movie. It feels as if we are the only survivors of a global disaster. Just her and me for the rest of our lives. I have to think of WALL-E who is left alone on his garbage planet until he finds his EVE and I begin to understand what she sees in this place.

I am caught in her spell. The only thing I can do is stare at her. It is completely dark by now and the few streetlights in the distance reflect in her eyes. I can't stop myself when I pull her close and start to kiss her.

Her lips are soft and she tastes of sweet grapes.

I break the kiss because my heart is racing and it feels like all of the air has been sucked out of my lungs. I pull her onto my lap and she holds my head in her hands and kisses me back. Her fingers running through my damp hair leaving trails of tingling sensations behind.

I want to have her, here and now, I want to be with her for ever, but I can't, I am not allowed to, I am taken, Oh my god, what am I doing?

I break the kiss and hide my face in her chest. "I am sorry, I am so sorry, Sharky, but I ...."

"It's okay" she sighs and gets up to pack our stuff. "I'm getting cold anyways." She holds her head down and doesn't talk and I am devastated. Why do I have to fuck everything up? She deserves so much more than that.

When she is ready to go, she shoulders her backpack and turns around to where I still sit on the wet metal top.

"Hey Alex?" She ask me out of the blue. "Do I keep you alive,
On the edge of tonight, Chasing tomorrow, with fire in my eyes?" She smiles and balances along the edge of the container.

"Sharky, stop that!" I say getting up and stretching my arms out for her. "you gonna fall."

At that moment she slips on the wet surface and I see her topple, I try to catch her but I am too slow, my hand just grips the air where her hand had been a moment ago. The last thing I see are her wide eyes.

They show no fear but only slight surprise and some sort of - amusement.

I hear a thump and a short outcry.

"Sharky, Sharky, Are you okay? Answer me, please" I shout down into the darkness. I am in panic and I am crying.

I hear her curse and whimper and I try to climb down as fast as possible.

When I reach the ground I see her lying on a pile of garbage bags, her face distorted with pain as she holds her left shoulder. I kneel down beside her and touch her carefully, tears are streaming down her face and she pants.

"I fell onto my shoulder, fuck that hurts." She tells me through gritted teeth.

"That's it, I call 911." I decide getting up and pulling my phone out of my pocket.

"Don't be ridiculous" she grumbles slapping my leg "It's not a big drama, just help me up, and maybe you could carry my backpack?"

I am still in a state of shock and I can't understand how she can be so casual about it so I nearly scream at her. "Why? Why do you do this shit, Sharky, you could have killed yourself. Don't ever do this again. You hear me." My voice cracks.

She silently smiles at herself, but I am so mad at her that I shake her, forgetting her injured arm. She flinches and I am mortified that I have hurt her even more but it made her look at me.

"Alex, I don't do this on purpose, it is just that I need to feel alive and sometimes you only feel this when you are close to being - well- not alive. It is the same as when you only know what you had when you lose it. But can we go now? I really need to get home and lie down."

I pull her up and get the bag, then I steady her and we walk back, I notice that she limps but when I ask her she says it's nothing.

"Can you sing me something?" She asks in a small voice. "It'll distract me from the pain."

So I sing her the lyrics she had just quoted, in a low voice while we stumble along deserted streets.
They fit our situation so well:

It's a long way home,
When you're on your own,
And your only friends are traffic lights,
Speaking in Morse code,
Yeah the road is long,
And I am tired,
But with you on my horizon,
I will drive until it all breaks down
'Cause I can't breathe without you near,
You keep me safe,
Keep me sane,
Keep me honest,
You keep me alive,
On the edge of tonight,
Chasing tomorrow,
With fire in my eyes,
You're like a siren in the dark,
You're the beat playing in my heart,
You keep me alive,
On the edge of tonight,
Spent my whole damn life,
Trying to get things right,
And for every one of my mistakes,
You gave me all these chances,
When the roads too long,
I am tired,
Baby you are my horizon,
And I'll drive until it all breaks down,

I am so worried about her but we make it to her apartment. I put her to bed and stroke her hair until she falls asleep.

Notes

X