Dark affairs

Work is... exactly that, work and for once I actually get something done although I am organising and archiving demo recordings which is boring as hell.
As I refuse to let my thoughts drift to the dinner we're having tonight I am working concentrated and efficiently.

I don't get any calls from Jack nor Alex and although this let's me work without interruption, it also worries me slightly. Normally Jack calls me at least once a day to distract me from my job and tell some weird stories to get on my nerves.

So I am pretty anxious when I'm finally let out and after I walked the dog I drive home worried of what will await me there.

I enter my apartment quietly, looking for any sign of the boys and I hear laughter and talk from the kitchen.

I follow the sound and stand in the doorway to see Jack and Alex with their backs towards me. I don't make my presence known yet but watch Alex stir something on the stove that looks like paella.

Alex is quite the talented cook whereas Jack, who is absolutely useless in the kitchen is cutting some vegetables on a cutting board.

They talk low and giggle and then Jack bumps his hips with Alex which causes the elder to step behind his friend and snake his arms around his waist and sway the two of them whilst hooking his chin over Jacks shoulder.

I gulp at the sight, they both look so intimate together, you could think they were a couple.

When Alex releases Jack and turns back to the stove he notices me. He quickly shoves Jack to get his attention, stirs the food once more and comes over to me smiling.

"Hey, Mickey, we've been good boys and working so hard, dinner is almost ready, I hope you like paella?" He hugs me tight and places a soft kiss to my neck.y

"Yeah we've been good" Jack echoes shoving Alex to the side "but I had to wake Alex up because he just went back to sleep after you left for work." He hugs me as well and pecks my lips.

I'm still a bit overwhelmed by the little moment I just witnessed between them, so I feel awkward and don't know what to do.

"What's up, Mickey? Are you still mad at us?" Alex who had picked up Max and was holding him in his arms and Jack both look at me unsure of themselves.

"W-what? No!" I stutter. They both start grinning and squeeze me in a group hug.

Not much later we sit down for dinner and make small talk. The food is delicious and I don't hesitate to praise them for their work, which earns me two beaming boys.

We're almost done when Alex gets serious and puts his fork down to look at me with a hesitant expression. "So, what was it you wanted to talk to us about, Mickey? " he asks putting his chin in his hands on the table.

I'm put on the spot and now I regret not thinking about what to tell them beforehand.

"Okay, yeah, I mean, I don't really know how to put this..." I trail off helplessly.

"Mickey, honesty is the most important thing in a relationship, just tell me how you feel, I want to know what's going on in your head. I want you to be happy and whatever it takes I will do."
Jack reassures me putting his hand on top of mine.

He catches me off guard, for someone who is always so immature and constantly talking shit, he sometimes surprises me with his wise and straightforward statements. Alex looks at him with a raised brow and seems surprised as well but slowly nods his head in agreement.

"Oh, okay." I take a deep breath and just start with what's been swimming around in my head.
"Look I have been really feeling insecure about you guys going out last night and just then I saw you being so...so cute together and you've known each other for ages that...that I fear there is no room in this for me, I'm afraid I'm gonna loose you, Jack." I squeeze his hand looking in his eyes.

He looks back and his eyes seem glossy as if he's tearing up.

I don't give him time to reply as I turn to Alex firing my next questions.
"And how do you plan this whole thing to work. What about Lisa? Do you just intend to cheat on her the whole time? Do you want to leave her?"

He looks up a bit shocked and draws up his shoulders his face twisting into a pained expression. "I see it that way, you and Jack are in a relationship and Lisa and I are in a relationship, if you are with me, are you cheating on each other? Lisa and I have been on and off for years until we decided that none of us can be completely faithful but we also can't be without each other, that's why we got married. I love her, but I love you both as well. She doesn't know about you guys yet......" He leans back into his chair looking a bit deflated, I guess his situation isn't as easy and clear as I thought it was.

"So is this just something to pass the time until you get bored and find someone else? How do you see this love triangle in the future?" I asked getting agitated.

Alex raises his open hands towards me in a helpless gesture.
"Honestly I don't know, I have never tried something like that and I can't tell you if it works out or not. We will have to find out. I don't have the answers to all your questions, Mickey. I can't look into the future but I'm not playing with you guys it's not just about the sex, I have feelings for both of you. But it's up to you. If you feel that the stakes are too high then we don't have to do it."

"That's easy to say, are you aware it could destroy everything? My relationship with Jack? Your marriage? You could lose your best friend and I could get hurt so badly again because I might develop feelings for you." I've voiced my deepest fears here and I stop talking looking down at the table embarrassed.

Jack who had been silent this whole time clears his throat and Alex and I both look at him expectantly.
"Mickey, you will not lose me. I am fine with whatever you choose. If you wanna try it, good. If not, fine as well. My main concern is to be with you and to see you smile. You are right, Alex and I go way back but we've always been like that with each other, we have loved each other platonically for a long time and we can go back to just being friends, if you want to. But I wont choose him over you because I think I'm falling in love with you and nothing is gonna change that."

With that he engulfs me in a hug and I cling to him and can't stop a sob because his little speech made me so emotional.

I look back at Alex who watches us with sad eyes. He looks so lost sitting there all alone. I wave him over to join us and his eyes light up as he jumps up and comes around the table crouching down to hug us.

Jack opens his arms wider for him and we stay like that for a while basking in the warmth and the contact of each other.

I sigh and am not completely sure why but I hear me saying . "Okay, let's try this."

Notes

So this should be interesting....