Don't You Go and Carry On With Your Life

Jack

I somehow agreed to go with Austin and Brendon to Sandbox today. I don't remember how it came up in conversation but it did and Austin and I were on our way there now. We were going to meet Brendon there since he said he was going to be a little late.

Austin came to pick me up at around seven and took me to get food before going to the club. We were growing closer every time we spent time together. We made out in the back of his car for fifteen minutes before we went inside of the club. Of course there was a little touching and groping, but nothing too serious. I was starting to get kind of sexually frustrated as time went by, especially since Brendon always came into the break room bragging about his one night stands. It's been so long since I've had sex. Alex had stopped touching me long before the divorce, probably the entire time he was cheating on me. I don't think I would be able to hold out longer with Austin. That weird feeling that was holding me back was starting to fade anyways.

"Do you want to sit at the bar or at a table?" Austin asked over the music, once we made it inside.

"Uhh let's sit at the bar so we can get drinks faster."

"Alright my little alcoholic." He joked and I chuckled.

We walked over to two empty seats at the bar and sat down. We were going to have to move to a table once Brendon got here so we could all sit together.

"What do you wanna drink?" Austin asked and I thought about it for a second.

"Um I think a strawberry daiquiri." I said and he nodded. That was my new favorite drink since I couldn’t taste the alcohol in it.

Austin got the attention of one of the bartenders and ordered or drinks for us. He gave the guy a tip so he could get the drinks to us faster and give us a little more special attention. It worked, the bartender made our drinks and quickly got them out to us. I made sure to thank Austin for the drink and dinner earlier, but like always he said it was no problem. I took a sip of my strawberry daiquiri and almost melted, it was so freaking delicious.

"So how was work this week?" Austin asked me.

"Pretty good, this week went by quickly. But I caught up on two shows on Netflix so I'm excited about that." I told him and he laughed. "How was your week?"

"Great! I've been training with these two body builders for the past two weeks so really I'm sore, but it was a great experience."

"I thought I noticed your arms were getting bigger." I giggled and squeezed his arm muscles.

"Just a little bit." He laughed and flexed one arm for me. "You should see my abs. I have a prominent six pack now!" He exclaimed and I smiled just thinking about that.

"I will make a note to see that later." I said and he chuckled.

"Maybe you'll finally let me show you other parts of my body too." He said as I took a sip of my drink. I choked and luckily got it down before I spit it out. I wasn't expecting him to say that, but I kind of liked it.

"Yeah, maybe." I replied trying to sound seductive. I was looking straight in his eyes so he would know I was serious.

"Don't tease me." He pouted and I chuckled.

We finished our first drinks and Austin stood up to go to the bathroom. He told me he would be right back and went to fight through a crowd of people to get to the bathrooms. He had to walk through the dance floor so it was going to take him a little while.

I picked up my phone so I could get on Facebook to make the time go faster. May had posted pictures of my nieces while they were out Christmas shopping today. I smiled to myself at how cute they were and liked the pictures.

"What are you doing here? You hate clubs." I heard someone say next to Austin's seat.

I turned around to see Alex standing there. I felt slightly panicked because Austin was here too. Then again I also felt like making Alex jealous, just to get him back for making me feel like shit after he cheated.

"I like them now." I said smugly and he laughed.

"Are you here by yourself?" He asked and sat in Austin's seat.

"No I came with a friend, and you're sitting in his seat."

"He can have it when he gets back." He rolled his eyes. "And what friend is it?" He asked.

"Just some guy I've been seeing for a few months." I said, trying to make it not sound like a big deal. He didn't look shocked to hear that.

"You've been dating someone?" It sounded like he was forcing himself to ask.

"Mhmm, his name is Austin." I told him.

"Where is he now?"

"He went to the bathroom. He'll be back in a few minutes." I said.

"Well I guess I'll wait right here until he gets back." He said, making me sigh.

"Or you could not do that." I said sarcastically, but he didn't move.

"Can I get a Budlight?" He ordered from one of the bartender.

"And a strawberry daiquiri." I added on to his orders and he playfully glared at me. "What? If you're going to stay right here then you might as well get me a drink too." He playfully rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet to pay for the two drinks.

"Thanks." I told him.

"Yeah sure." He brushed it off.

I looked up to see Austin walking back through the crowd to get back to me. "Here he comes now." I said.

"Hey is this guy bothering you?" Austin asked when he saw Alex and I burst into laughter. It was probably due to the nervousness and alcohol.

"Austin this is Alex. Alex this is Austin." I introduced them.

"Is this your ex Alex?" Austin asked.

"Yeah." I answered.

"I see Jack has told you a lot about me." Alex said smugly, and Austin narrowed his eyes at him.

"All bad things." Austin growled.

"I'll take that, considering I've heard absolutely nothing about you." Alex said.

"All that matters is that Jack knows me." Austin smiled and wrapped his arm around me. I thought that I wanted to make Alex jealous, but seeing the look on his face made me feel guilty.

"Whatever." Alex shrugged.

"Hey sorry I'm late." Brendon said as he walked up to us.

"It's okay, we haven't been here for long." I told him, but he wasn't paying attention to me.

"Hi." Brendon said, holding his hand out to Alex.

"Hey." Alex said back and shook his hand. It looked like something clicked on his head and he continued talking. "What's a good looking guy like yourself doing here with these two?" Alex asked him.

"They're my friends." Brendon giggled and I narrowed my eyes at him. I don't think he knew that this was Alex, my ex-husband, but it still bothered me to see him get flustered around Alex.

"Are you the third wheel?"

"Yeah pretty much." Brendon said while playing with his fingers.

"Well how about I stay here and keep you company?" Alex said while glancing at me. He was trying to make me jealous by flirting with Brendon in front of me.

"No!" I cut it, before I could stop myself.

"No?? Why not??" Brendon asked me.

"Yeah why not, Jack?" Alex asked and I glared at him.

"Because this is my ex-husband, Alex." I told Brendon and he gasped.

"Oh my god! This is so awkward." He said while covering his mouth.

"No it fine, like he said I'm his ex-husband so there wouldn't be a problem if I planned on taking you out this weekend." Alex told Brendon and I scoffed. Austin rubbed my arm calmingly but I was still annoyed.

"I um I would love to Alex, but that would be unfair to Jack." Brendon forced himself to say.

"Well if you change your mind you can always get my number from Jack. It was nice meeting you, Brendon and Allen." He said childishly, pointing to Austin.

"It's Austin." Austin corrected him.

"Okay." Alex shrugged as he got up. "I'll see you around Jack." He said and I glared at him as he walked away. I saw him go up to a table that Rian was sitting at. He said something to him and they both got up to leave. I exhaled in relief once he was out of here.

"On a scale from one to ten-" Brendon began to ask and I cut him off.

"Ten- no not even a ten, one-hundred." I answered. I knew he was asking how mad would I be if he actually went on a date with Alex.

"Buuuuut Jasaaaack! Why did you tell me Alex was that sexy?" He asked and I involuntarily rolled my eyes.

"I didn't think I needed to explain his looks."

"He seems like an asshole." Austin said.

"He is, the biggest one in the world." I huffed. "Plus he's a cheater. Do you really want to be with someone like him?" I asked Brendon.

"I don't want to date him, it was just going to be strictly physical." He said, making a pang of jealousy run through me. I didn't like that feeling because I didn't want care about anything Alex related.

"Do you really want his number?" I forced myself to ask.

"No no I'm not that much of a horrible person. I'll just let him go." He sighed. "I see a cute guy at the other end of the bar so I'm gonna go flirt with him." He said, joking sounding depressed and I chuckled.

"Okay just text me his address if you end up going home with him." I told him and he nodded. Austin and I watched him walk away and start a conversation with the guy.

"He works fast." Austin laughed and I nodded. I was still thinking about Alex trying to make me jealous. It sort of worked and that made me feel uncomfortable. I needed to do something to get rid of the "power" he had over me and my emotions.

"Hey, how about we call it a night. We can go back to my house and drink some wine." I suggested.

"We kind of just got here and what about Brendon?" He asked.

"Brendon will be fine, it doesn't look like he'll be here too much longer either." I chuckled while looking at Brendon make out with the guy he just met.

"Are you sure you wanna go? If this about Alex I can make sure he-"

"-No it's not that. I just want to spend a little alone time with you." I began to rub his leg up and down, inching up his thigh each time.

"Oooooh okay yeah let's go." He said and grabbed my hand. I looked up to see if I could go tell Brendon we were leaving, but he had went somewhere with the guy he just met.

I walked with Austin back to his car and he opened the door for me. He got in on the driver's side and drove us back to my house. Once we made it to my house we quickly walked to the door and I unlocked it for us. As soon as I closed and locked the door behind us, Austin pushed me against the door and attacked my lips. I moaned and chuckled in between kisses.

He started pulling at the end of my shirt so I pulled apart from him. "Wait lets go to my room." I told him and he nodded. He picked me up, making me giggle, and carried us back to my bedroom.

Austin continued to kiss me once we were in my room. He walked us over to my bed and laid me back on it. I felt his hands pull at my shirt again so I lifted up and let him pull my shirt off. Then I helped him get his own off. We went back to kissing as we helped each other slip out of the rest of our clothes.

Before I knew it, I was lying completely naked under Austin. Feeling his erection on my stomach made me feel wanted. He actually wanted me, I was turning him on. This was kind of a boost to my self-esteem. It was also nerve wrecking because he was pretty big and it's been a while since I've had sex.

"Get the lube." He demanded against my lips and I quickly nodded. I rolled over to my nightstand drawer and pulled the lube out. I handed it to Austin and he thanked me.

"Make sure you stretch me really good because it's been a while and you're um pretty huge." I said, while turning completely red out of embarrassment. Austin chuckled and leaned down to kiss me.

"Okay, I'll try to go easy on you." He joked and I playfully rolled my eyes.

Austin popped the cap on the lube and coated three of his fingers. I laid back on the bed with my legs open so he could start. He pressed his middle finger in first slowly. Sometimes I would finger myself before bed so the first two fingers weren't going to hurt much. He pushed his finger in and out making sure I was okay and then he added his index finger. Austin's fingers were bigger than mine so the second one kind of stung. I moaned as he opened the fingers up and moved them inside of me. Having someone else do it for me again made me want to explode. Austin leant down to kiss me as he continued to finger me. I was just getting used to the two fingers when he slipped his ring finger inside of me.

"Ahhh fuck!" I cried out and pushed against his hand.

"Shhhh it's okay." He whispered in my ear and nibbled on it.

I took a deep breath and let him keep going until the pain subsides. I soon got used to the feeling and craved more. I grabbed Austin's wrist and pulled it into me fast as I grinder down on his fingers.

"Shit, Jack you're ready." He told me. He pulled his fingers out of me and wiped them on the sheet. Then he reached down into his pants pocket and pulled out a condom. He ripped it open with his teeth and rolled it on himself. I handed him to lube and he squirted some in his hand and rubbed it on his dick. He rubbed the excess on my hole before lining up with it. I held my breath as I felt him began to push in. Guilt began to wash over me. Even though I wasn’t with Alex I still felt like I was cheating on him. Why did he still have this power over me?

"You're still tight." He whispered in my ear as he went deeper. I just whimpered in response, I couldn't talk right now.

Austin was finally all the way inside of me a few seconds later. He placed his hand on my left hip and threw my right leg over his shoulder. I immediately got flashbacks to when Alex and I would have sex. That was exactly what he would do to me. I shouldn't be thinking of Alex while I'm lying in bed with Austin. Oh god, what if I accidentally call out Alex's name?? Why did both of their names have to start with an A?

"Does that feel good?" Austin asked, waking me up from my thoughts.

"Y-yeah baby it feels so good." I moaned. I was trying to use a pet name so I would accidentally call out the wrong name. It was still weird because I would call Alex baby sometimes during sex so I still couldn't help but think of him.

I began to run my fingers through Austin's hair so I would have less of a chance of getting him mixed up with Alex. His hair was cut low on the sides and longer in the middle. I also ran my fingers down his chest to feel his six pack since Alex didn't have one of those either.

I snapped out of all of my thoughts when Austin hit my prostate. He began to speed up his thrust and jerking me off.

"Oh god I'm gonna come." I cried out.

"Fuck! Me too." He groaned.

Austin thrusted into me a few more times before I was coming on my chest and Austin was coming into the condom. I exhaled in relief as I realized I successfully didn't call out Alex's name on accident. He pulled out of me and pulled the condom off and I grabbed some Kleenex to clean up with.

"That was great." Austin smiled and pulled me down to cuddle with him.

"I'm going to be so sore tomorrow." I jokingly complained and he laughed.

"Imagine if I didn't go easy on you." He said and I giggled.

I hated that I couldn't fully enjoy sex with Austin because I was thinking about how to stop thinking about Alex. Austin really was a great guy, I was just going to have to work harder at our relationship. I still needed to fully get over Alex.

Notes

Jack's trying so hard to hide his feelings lol