Don't You Go and Carry On With Your Life

Kellin

I had just finished talking to Vic on the phone. He called during his lunch break to tell me that he just met my dad at Hot Topic. He wouldn't tell me what he was doing there, but he said my dad knows that we're dating now and scared him halfway to death. That's exactly why I wanted to hide our relationship. My parents could sometimes be so over protective, it was kind of annoying. I knew that they would overreact when I told them Vic and I were dating. Especially Daddy, he would want to know everything Vic and I were doing and if we were being "safe.”

I got up from my bed and went to get something to eat. I wasn't really hungry at school today. Ever since I found out, two days ago, that my dad got that lady pregnant I'd been feeling a little off. I don’t know how long he kept this secret from us, but the lady didn’t look pregnant yet. It felt like I was living in a nightmare and this wasn't my real life. I didn't even have the energy to leave my house and hang out with Vic tonight. I didn’t know if I was ungrounded since daddy forgot to take my phone back after I went to work with my dad. I had been grounded for a week so far.

"Kelly look!" Kylie exclaimed and showed me the picture she was coloring.

"It's pretty Kyls." I told her and she smiled.

"You color?" She asked.

"No I don't feel like coloring. Maybe later." I said and walked into the kitchen. Daddy was in there too making a snack for him and Kylie. It was a little awkward being around him. We hadn't talked about me skipping school or coming home drunk that night. We talked after I told him about my dad getting that lady pregnant, but it was still weird.

"Do you want some?" Daddy asked offering me some apple slices and peanut butter.

"No, I'm too hungry for a snack." I said.

"There's still some left over pizza. I can heat that up for you." He said and I nodded.

He took the apple slices to Kylie, who was now coloring in the kitchen, and then went to get the pizza. He heated up three slices for me and sat it down on a plate in front of me.

"Thank you." I told him.

"No problem." He shrugged.

We sat in silence eating, the only noise was Kylie's crayons drawling on the paper. I felt like I needed to say something, after all it was my fault we weren't talking.

"Daddy, I um I'm sorry for what happened last week. I shouldn't have skipped school, missed my curfew, or even been drinking. I don't know, I've just been feeling so conflicted lately. Lately I’ve been feeling so depressed, and angry, and numb. And I don't want to make people feel bad for me or think I need their pity, especially my teachers. They keep asking if everything is alright at home because my grades are slipping and I don't want to tell them that my grades are slipping because all I think about in class is how broken my family is now. I skipped so I wouldn't have to be asked anymore questions. And I got drunk because I thought it would help me forget about my problems and it did, but it also made me feel extremely sick the next morning."

"Mhmm, I know how you feel Kells but I would’ve liked for you to come talk to me about what you were going through. I'm trying to be understanding. I wasn't mad about your grades slipping I just wanted to help, but that's hard to do when you're not helping me help you. I tried to let you go hang out with your friends more to get your mind off of things but now I can't trust you to do that anymore. So now I think we should work on helping you get your grades back up, earning my trust back, and you opening up more to me when you're feeling lost. Okay?"

"Okay." I nodded. "I guess I can start earning your trust back by giving you my phone back. You um forgot to take it after I went to work with Daddy on Wednesday." I told him.

"Yeah that's a start, but you're not grounded anymore." He said.

"Really??"

"Yeah I'm going to let you off easy this one time, but if this happens again-"

"-Trust me, it won't!" I promised.

"It better not or I'll send you to stay with Alex." He threatened. I knew he would never make me stay with my dad but that was still a scary thought.

"Okay Daddy. Thanks for giving me another chance."

"Of course. I also need you to watch Kylie for me tonight." He said.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Out with a few friends from work."

"Out? Out where?"

"If you must know, we're going to a bar." He chuckled.

"Oh that sounds fun!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah they've been asking me to go all week. I think getting out of the house might help with everything that's been going on."

"I'm sure it will. You should just go have fun and forget about it for tonight."

"I’m gonna try." He said as our doorbell rang.

I got up and walked over to open it. No one was standing at the door when I got there. I looked down to see a giant gift box, two smaller boxes, and a card. The card said it was for Daddy, the two small gifts were for me, and the big box was for Kylie.

"Who is it Kellin?" Daddy asked and walked to the door.

"I think these are from Dad." I told him.

He looked at the card, "Yeah this is definitely his hand writing." He helped me pull the big box in and Kylie ran over.

"Open?" She asked pointing to the big box.

"Yeah babe, you can open it. It’s yours." Daddy said and Kylie cheered and struggled to get it open.

I opened my first gift and saw it was an A Day to Remember t-shirt from Hot Topic and a pair of black jeans. My second gift was the cheetah print Vans I've wanted for a while now.

"Why did he buy us all gift?" I asked.

"To butter us up to accept his apology." Daddy grumbled. He didn't open his card. Instead, he took it into my Dad's old office and shredded it.

"You weren't curious what it said?"

"No I can assume it was a dumb insecure apology." He shrugged. "Kylie let me help you before you break your arm." He told her. She was still struggling to get the box open.

"No! I open!" She yelled.

We both laughed as she pulled the paper until she finally ripped it. Over time, and with a little help from us, she got the paper off and revealed a miniature car.

"Wow he's really trying to win you guys over." Daddy chuckled.

"Well he's obviously won over Kylie now." I laughed.

"Please open!!" Kylie begged.

"Yeah I'm going to get the box cutter now." I told her and went to the kitchen.

I came back and got the box open for her a few minutes later. Daddy helped me pull the car out and Kylie jumped around in excitement.

"Okay get inside of it, Kyls." Daddy told her.

"I scared." She mumbled.

"You're scared? You're scared of what?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Kylie it can't hurt you. Just get in it." I chuckled.

"I no wanna." She mumbled.

"Okay, baby you don't have to drive it yet." Daddy told her and kissed her on the cheek. "I should start getting ready. I’m supposed to meet them by eight."

*Jack*

"Can I help??" Kellin asked and followed me to my closet anyways.

"Sure. I was thinking of wearing something simple. I'm not planning on staying out long."

"You should wear a blazer." He suggested.

"A blazer? No that's too much." I disagreed.

"Well how about a button-up?"

"Yeah that's fine."

Kellin dug through my closet for ten minutes until he found a light blue button up shirt and my khakis skinny jeans. I actually liked the outfit a lot.

"And here you can wear your Sperry's." He said as he pulled the shoes out of the closet for me.

"Okay, thanks." I told him.

"No problem!" He exclaimed. He left out of my room so I could take a shower.

I was out and dressed in forty minutes. I fixed my hair as best as I could with the time I had left. Then I went into the kitchen and forced myself to eat something small so I wouldn't drink on an empty stomach. I was only planning on having one drink.

It was a little after eight when Brendon texted me. He told me they were there already and had grabbed us a table. I texted him back saying that I was on my way and went to tell the kids that I was leaving.

"Okay Kellin, I'll be back later. Make sure you ask Kylie if she has to pee before bed." I reminded him.

"Okay, bye Daddy."

"Bye! Bye Kylie!" I told her. She ran over to hug my legs and I picked her up.

"Bye-bye!" She exclaimed, and let me kiss her on the cheek. I sat her down, grabbed my car keys and left.

There was a small line outside of the club when I made it, but it took no time for me to get through it. I made my way into Sandbox and found Brendon, Alan, and Patrick sitting at a table. I sat in the empty chair next to Brendon.

"I thought for a second that you would bail on us." Brendon said and I laughed.

"Trust me I thought about it for a second." I joked.

"I'm sure you did. What kind of drink do you want? I'm buying." He offered.

"Umm I guess a margarita sounds good." I told him. The only alcohol I actually enjoyed drinking was wine and occasionally a beer. I hadn't drunken anything alcoholic in a while so I was kind of scared of how it would affect me.

"Coming right up." He said and got up to get the drinks.

I stayed and listened to the conversation Alan and Patrick were having. It was mostly about worked so I chimed in a few times when I could. Brendon was back five minutes later with our drinks and I thanked him. He handed me my margarita and Alan and Patrick the drinks he bought them too. They all had the same drink, it looked like hard liquor.

"What are you guys drinking?" I asked.

“Brendon and I have Jack Daniels and coke and Alan has Jim Beam and coke.” Patrick told me.

"Wanna try it?" Brendon asked and I nodded. He handed me his drink and I took a small sip.

"Oh my God it's a little strong." I said after I got past the burn.

"Yeah the bartender is being a little generous with the alcohol." He chuckled and drunk some of it.

"Maybe he's trying to get your attention." I said and he playfully rolled his eyes.

"Maybe, but he wasn't that cute. I will gladly flirt for free drinks though." He said making me laugh.

"You're always flirting for something free." Alan teased him.

"Hey, my flirting got us this table so you're welcome." He laughed.

"You are ridiculous." I chuckled.

"Yeah I know. Hurry up and finish your drink so we can get another one." He rushed me.

I looked at his glass that was now almost empty. "Jeez I can't drink that fast unless you want to carry me home."

"It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to carry someone." He joked, looking at Patrick. I took a deep breath and drunk the rest of my margarita.

"There done." I said and he got up to get us more.

"He's going to have you on the floor passed out by the end of the night." Alan told me.

"I know." I said and they laughed.

"He actually gave me these drinks for free." Brendon laughed as he sat back down a few minutes later with four Jack Daniels and cokes. "All I did was tell him that I liked his beard."

"You’re always getting hit on wherever we go.” Alan chuckled.

“I guess it’s a gift.” Brendon shrugged. He handed me a drink and I stared at it.

"I don't know if I can drink all of this." I said honestly and he laughed.

"Just drink it as fast as you can so you won't taste the alcohol." Brendon told me.

"That sounds like the worse advice ever." I frowned thinking about how bad that would burn.

"Just do it."

I gave into his peer pressure and chugged my drink down. My throat and chest burned once I finished. I could taste every ounce of alcohol in that glass.

"Shit that was gross." I complained.

"Don't be a baby, its good." He said and I shook my head.

"I think I'm done." I said.

"You can't be! Not after two drinks." Alan said.

"I only wanted one drink so two was pushing it." I chuckled.

"Come on just have one more. I'll even let you come up to pick it with me." Brendon bargained.

"I can’t believe I’m out with a bunch of alcoholics.” I joked and they laughed.

I stood up and followed Brendon to the bar. The bartender smiled at Brendon when he saw us come back up. Brendon was right, he wasn't really that good looking.

"What can I get for you, gorgeous?" He asked Brendon. I thought that was pretty nice but Brendon didn't seem phased by being called that.

"Can we see a drink book? I'm trying to help my friend here pick out a new drink." He gestured towards me.

"Yeah of course." He handed us the menu and we both looked over it.

Standing up at the bar made me realize how tipsy I was starting to feel. I kind of liked the feeling. I watched Brendon flip through the book and show me different drinks I could try. He went to the fruity drink section and there were so many drink options. I didn't know which one I would like best.

"The sex on the beach is really good here." I heard someone to the right of me say. I looked over to see a guy standing there giving me a small smile, which I gladly returned. He was way taller than me, he had nice toned arms that's were covered in tattoos, and he had brown hair that cut low on the sides. Long-story-short he was sexy.

"I've um never had that. . . I mean one of those before." I told him and he chuckled.

"Really? Well now I have to buy you a drink." He said, making me blush. "Bartender let me get a Sex on the beach." He ordered from one of the many bartenders working. One bartender nodded and went to make the drink.

I felt Brendon hit my side telling me to introduce myself to the guy.

"Oh I'm uh Jack." I extended my hand for him to shake.

"Nice to meet you, Jack. I'm Austin." He smiled down at me. This guy was really cute and the alcohol was making me have not so innocent thoughts about him.

"Nice to meet you too." I said.

"I'm going to go back to the table, take your time here." Brendon told me and my stomach dropped at the thought of being alone with Austin.

"Okay." I said nervously. Brendon gave me a reinsuring smile and went back to the table.

"You two aren't together are you?" Austin asked.

"No he's just my friend." I told him.

"Oh so is it safe to assume that's you're single?" He asked, making me chuckle.

"Yeah it's pretty safe to make that assumption."

"Good." He said and the bartender sat the drink down. Austin paid and I took a sip of it to see if I liked it. He was right, the drink was really good.

"This is actually really good. Thank you!" I told him and he chuckled.

"You're welcome. I thought you might like it. I uh would be more than happy to take you to one of my favorite restaurants next weekend to see if you like it too." He said slyly.

I could feel my cheeks heat up even more at the fact that he was asking me on a date. I know I said I didn't want to date anymore after Alex, but I think the alcohol was affecting my thoughts.

"Yeah I would like that a lot." I told him.

"Cool, here." He handed me his phone and I typed my name and number into it. I handed it back to him and he put two heart eye emoji’s after my name, making me smile.

"I have to go now, but I'm going to text you so we can talk more about next weekend." He told me.

"Okay." I giggled.

"It was nice meeting you again, Jack." He picked up my hand and kissed it. I was basically putty in his hands by now.

"Y-you too, Austin." I stammered.

I watched as he walked away back to his group of friends. He waved at me before he the left out of the building. I waved back and then went back to my table of friends.

"Tell us everything." Brendon demanded as I sat down.

"We're going on a date next weekend." I blurted and they squealed.

"That's so cute!" Alan exclaimed.

"Yeah, but I don't think I should have agreed to go. I’m not sure I want to start dating right now." I sighed.

"Well don't date him, just fuck him." Brendon said causally and I choked on my drink.

"What?" I asked.

"Come on you know you were thinking about." Brendon chuckled.

"He's right. You don't have to date him. You can just meet up with him a few times out of the wee to fulfill your sexual needs." Patrick added.

"I'm not going to have sex with some guy I just met." I told them.

"Why not?" Brendon asked.

"Because I don't know him. He could have some sort of disease or be crazy." I exaggerated.

"Fine, go on the date with him to determine if he's okay and then have sex with him. With a condom of course." He shrugged.

"No, I'm just not going to reply when he text me. It's too soon and I'm not done healing."

"But it's been a month." Alan said.

"Yeah but Alex and I were married for almost twenty years. I'm gonna to need way more than a month to get over him." I sighed.

"Yeah but that guy can help you speed up the process." He said.

“He was really cute.” Brendon said, trying to persuade me.

"I don't know, I don’t want to use him. What I really need is some time to myself. Alex really hurt me and I need to get over that first." I said, mostly to myself.

Notes

The guy that bought Jack the drink was Austin Carlile!