Best Mistake

It had been three months since I heard from Alex. Although it really hurt, I just knew he talked things out with Sophia and decided to be with her again, even if it meant being without me and our baby. I didn't sleep for a couple of days once I realized it.

Part of me was angry at him for getting my hopes up that he would be around for us. Another part of me knew I couldn't blame him. He didn't sign up for any of this.

I gave in and texted him a week after he was supposed to be done touring to see if he'd made it back home yet. He never responded. I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt that maybe their time in Europe ran over, but when I caught a glimpse of Jack in the grocery store a few days later, I knew Alex was actively avoiding me.

I stood behind the wall where the registers were hidden at the Loft, scrolling through my phone. It was only 5:00 in the evening, so we weren't really that busy.

"Hey Whit?" Eric said, grasping my attention. "Some guy named Alex is asking for you."

The breath I took in was choppy as I felt the blood drain from my face.

Eric studied my face, a sad look in his eyes. "It's him, isn't it?"

I was really thankful for Eric. He found me outside of the restaurant one night mid-breakdown over Alex. He held me tight, kissing my forehead and running his fingers gently through my hair as I went on and on. I knew it made him uncomfortable to hear me so upset about another guy, but he stayed with me until I calmed down.

Ignorning his question, I asked, "What does he want?"

Eric shrugged. "He just asked if you were here."

I drew in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. With a quick self-affirmation mantra, I walked up to the front.

Alex was sitting at bar, his hands folded in front of him. He looked exhausted, like he hadn't had a decent nights rest in a long time. The dark circles forming around his eyes made him look sick.

He looked up at me as I approached him.

"Whitney. Hi," he said, a smile forming on his lips.

"Hey stranger," I replied quietly.

The smile on his face slowly started to fade. "I'm sorry it's been so long. I've been wanting to get in touch with you. I just didn't know what to say."

I nodded slowly, feeling a knot start to form in my stomach. It must have been hard on him to come up with a nice way to tell me goodbye.

"So how was your tour?" I asked, leaning against the bar.

The smile started to return. "It was awesome. We had a great time. The crowds over there are so exciting."

I smiled back, looking down at my hands. "Did you talk to Sophia?"

Alex nodded and I felt my skin begin to get hot with anticipation.

"Well?" I inquired.

Alex grimaced a little, chewing on his bottom lip. "I'd rather not talk about that."

As much as it killed me not knowing if he was back with her or not, I nodded and decided to let it go for now.

He looked down at my stomach and I thought I saw a twinkle in his eye.

"Wow," he whispered. "You're getting big."

My cheeks flamed red and I scoffed, glaring at him a little. I idly thought about if there was a book or something I could buy him about what and what not to say to a pregnant woman.

"Thanks, asshole," I said sarcastically.

Alex was quick to shake his head. "No. No, no, no. I didn't mean it like that."

I shook my head at him. I figured he didn't have very much experience with pregnant women and let him slide on his rookie mistake.

"Yes, I am getting big," I said, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him grimace. "I have my six month appointment tomorrow."

"Six months?" Alex asked, a little shocked. "It's been that long?"

I nodded, a little offended he thought time was passing by too quickly. He wasn't the one carrying another human, though.

"Wow," he smiled. "That sounds exciting."

I nodded again, smiling back. "It is." I hesitated before adding, "I'm finding out the sex tomorrow."

Alex's face visibly lit up. "You do?"

When I nodded, the smile on his lips grew wider.

"That is exciting," he said, almost bouncing on the stool he was sitting on. "You'll let me know, right?"

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "Actually, I was wondering...if you're not busy...maybe you'd like to come with me?"

He stared at me for a second, shifting uncomfortably. He cleared his throat. "Do you want me to go?"

As soon as I was about to open my mouth to tell him it was up to him, I closed it. This time, I wanted it to be up to me.

"I do," I said firmly.

Alex smiled and nodded. "Ok then. I'll go. Just tell me when I need to pick you up."

The next day I sat anxiously at the table, waiting rather impatiently for Alex to get there. I was partially excited to know if we were having a boy or a girl, while the other part was just hoping he still showed up.

After he knocked on the door I grabbed my purse and opened the door. He smiled, looking me up and down. I blushed and moved some of my hair out of my face while locking the door.

"What?" I asked nervously.

Alex shook his head. "You just look really beautiful today."

I glanced down at my sandal-clad feet, then up to my shorts and my very first white maternity shirt that was covered by a grey cardigan. I then looked over at Alex, who was wearing a Glamour Kills tshirt, faded skinny jeans, and a black pair of Nikes.

"Thanks," I smiled. "You look pretty good today, too."

He led me down the stairs and into his car. I looked around while he walked to the drivers side. His car was much more tech savvy than mine.

I have him directions to my doctors office and soon we were sitting in the waiting room. I was a little amused when I saw the slightly horrified look on Alex's face as he looked through the different maternity magazines. He was in for a treat once we were in the exam room.

"Ms. Pate?" the nurse called my name.

I stood and tapped Alex's arm for him to follow me. He quickly threw the magazine down, shuddering a little.

As I was slipping off my shorts and panties, Alex made sure not to look at me. I was pretty grateful, since he didn't even remember seeing me naked and I figured the doctors office wasn't the best place to refresh his memory.

"TEN INCHES?" he yelled, looking at one of the posters about the birthing process. "Your vagina is going to get that big while you're giving birth?!"

"Centimeters," I corrected him, laughing a little.

"Still though," he said quietly as he moved to the chair beside the bed I was lying on.

We waited a few more minutes until Dr. Gresham came in.

"Whitney, good afternoon," he smiled, shutting the door behind him.

I smiled back. "Hey, Dr. Gresham."

He eyed Alex curiously, nodding his head towards him. "And who might our guest be?"

Alex stood from the chair, extending his hand. "Alex Gaskarth. I'm the father," he said, smiling a little.

Dr. Gresham shook his hand firmly. "James Gresham. Nice to meet you."

Alex sat back down in his chair as Dr. Gresham turned on the sonogram machine. "Well," he paused, looking at us. "You ready to find out what you're having?"

"Yes," I replied, almost too quickly, and Alex nodded in agreement.

Dr. Gresham grabbed the camera and the lube and I caught Alex blush when he slid it inside of me. My eyes were glued to the screen, but Alex seemed to be avoiding it.

"There we go," Dr. Gresham said as he adjusted the camera. He pointed to something on the screen, his trained eyes seeing something I couldn't. "You know what that means?" he asked.

I shook my head anxiously.

"You're having a boy!"

I gasped and looked at Alex, who looked at me before his eyes slowly moved to the screen. When he saw our blob of a son on the grey screen, all color drained from his face.

"It's a boy," I whispered, and his expression softened.

He nodded, not once taking his eyes off of the screen. He looked almost horrified.

Dr. Gresham turned the machine off and removed the camera. "I'll have you some pictures printed out," he smiled and left the room for me to get dressed.

Alex never looked at me. He only stared at the floor with a look of bewilderment on his face. I was afraid asking him to come and him seeing our baby for the first time made it too real for him, and that he was going to run screaming.

We got our pictures at the check out desk and the nurse congratulated us. Alex still hadn't said a word and moved like a ghost behind me. I secretly wondered if he was capable of driving at that point.

The ride back to my apartment was silent. He even turned off the radio once he started the car. I thought for a second I could hear his heart pounding in his chest.

We sat outside my apartment, still in his car. He hadn't looked at me once.

"Thank you for coming with me," I said quietly.

He nodded.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

Again, he nodded, staring straight ahead.

I sighed heavily and put my purse over my shoulder. It was supposed to be a happy moment, and I was not going to let Alex and his epiphany ruin it.

"Later," I huffed as I opened the door and slammed it shut.

He finally looked at me and I just shook my head. I walked up the stair slowly, unlocked my apartment door, and went inside.

Alex was so frustrating. He had more mood swings than I did, and that was saying something. I was so excited when we found out we were having a son, until Alex shut down and ruined it. I had to tell myself not to get upset if he really bailed this time.

I pulled out my phone from my purse to text Megan the news when a knock came from my door. I put my phone down and went to open it.

Alex barged in, pushing me against the wall. As I was staring at him, I noticed his eyes suddenly had life in them again. His hands rested on my cheeks before slowly sliding back into my hair. He smiled very slightly before pressing his lips against mine.

The kiss was long and sweet, and the passion in it was undeniable. He slowly tightened his grip on my hair, pushing his body closer against mine. My fingers pressed into his back, a sorry attempt to keep him there forever. He slid his tongue across my bottom lip and I felt myself melt between him and the wall I was against.

He pulled away sooner than I wanted him to. I stared at him, wild eyed, waiting for him to explain what the hell just happened.

"Alex?" I asked, breathing a little heavily.

He looked me in the eyes, and the pleading look in them almost tore me to pieces.

"Move in with me, Whitney."

Notes