Alex's POV

Tour day had arrived. Jack and I stood near the bus, he chatted to Sophie as I watched Zach lug heavy equipment towards us. Rian had already gone inside to show Lily around. I was so excited for this tour, it was going to be amazing to have Lily with me. I smiled and entered.

"Seriously it would be nice to get some help at some stage," Zach sighed as he climbed the steps.

"But, you're the muscles!" Jack laughed.

"Well it would be nice," Zach moaned as he sat down.

I glanced at Lily, she looked nervous. She caught my gaze, her eyes lit up and smiled. However, she didn't seem so happy.

"Babe, you ok?"

She nodded and stood up. I joined her. Then grabbed her hand and pulled her upstairs. Thankfully our bus had another deck. "Sorry Alex..."

"Stop over thinking," I said, sitting down on the couch. "It's going to be fine. Phone Hel- your mother every day. Sophie's there."

Lily joined. "I know. It's not that, that I've been thinking about...it's the kiss at my mum's."

"Oh..." Lily scooted closer. "I'm sorry, you said-"

I paused as she climbed on to my lap.

"What are you doing?" I asked feeling slightly stupid.

Her lips crashed to mine. I placed my hands on her waist as she took over and deepened the kiss. A moment later I turned round and pushed her back on the couch and climbed over her. Wasn't sure if my next action was the right one, I slipped my hand under her top. I got pretty far before she tensed up. Something flashed through her eyes, couldn't exactly tell what it was, I bet it was panic, as they began to glaze over. She quickly blinked, in hope I hadn't noticed; to late for that. This was definitely not the time for this.

Lily breathed deeply as I leaned down. You're full of surprises, I whispered. I like it but not now. I scrambled off and helped her sit up.

"Why not?" Lily replied, slightly breathless.

I took a deep breath, sat down next to her and placed an arm over her shoulder. "We just can't right now."

"Not really an answer," she mumbled.

"OK, you want the truth?... I kinda track your...err...periods."

Her eyes widened and she grew a little pink.

"And if it was an ideal time, I don't have protection on me. Obviously you haven't either. I don't want to risk it Lily. I can tell you're not ready for this either. The little make out session at Helen's, got into your head letting you think, you are."

She sighed in relief, placed an arm over my stomach. "Wow Alex...wow. You track my periods?"

I nodded. "Well it's hard not to when you're living with me."

"True. You're right though...I'm not ready."

I chuckled. "Well that's what it's like to be me...Mr. Right."

Lily laughed. "Yea, Mr. Right Angles."

"That's me." I smirked. "Babe, yep I'm calling you that from now on. I want to help you get over this mess. It's hard for me to see what these fucking nightmares are doing to you. Can you tell me what happens?"

She glanced down at her lap and played with the hem of her top. I opened my mouth to say something else, I gathered she didn't want to. I was wrong.

"He...," she began.

Lily didn't get that far as Jack rushed in.

"There you both are. I came to check on ya. We're nearly at Matt's by the way."

"Who's Matt?" Lily asked.

"Our tour manager. He's awesome. He'll love to meet you. Well I think I interrupted something important so I'll let the others know you're both up here."

I smiled. "Cheers Jack." He waved and disappeared down the little hallway.

"He's sat at the bar," Lily picked up where she left off. "I walk in...I'm on my own, grabs my attention. Gets me drunk and takes me in an alley way, slams me up against the wall...,"

She frantically looked around, as she wiped her eyes.

I gently got a hold of her hands in mine, holding on tight. "Please look at me when you cry. It's actually a good thing, it helps to let go, don't hide it from me."

The next thing I knew, I had Lily in my arms, sobbing into my chest. I began to stroke her hair. I knew it helped calm her down. I hated hearing her cry like this. It hurt. However, I needed to stay strong.

"Th-th-then," she continued between her sobs. "He smashes his lips to mine and ra-rapes me. I wake up." Lily leans back, her eyes already bloodshot.
"I hate this!" She pulls out of my grip and bolts up from the couch. "I-I- I can't be like this anymore Alex!"

She narrows her eyes, balled up her fists, until her knuckles were white and stood still for a moment then loosened up. I thought Lily was better, until she gulped for air, she quickly lost control of breathing.

I ran over. "It's just chemicals...,"

Lily's eyes widened, she grabbed my hands.

"Remember to breathe."

I guided her over to the couch again. "It's-" I paused. Telling her it was going to be ok didn't seem to be what I should be doing, instead I began to hum her favourite song of ours. 'Cinderblock Garden.'

"Sing it," Lily sniffed, then snuggled into my arms.

I sang the whole song to her. Within the first sentence she took a deep breath and seemed to settle down. About halfway, she'd fallen asleep. However I knew she loved the song so it was only fair to sing it all.

I gently moved Lily off me and got a blanket out of the draw next to me. I threw it over and kissed her forehead. I watched her for a second, turned the stereo on, placing the song on repeat and turned the volume down, just in case she woke up and I wasn't there. She'd have my voice to listen to. I smiled before making my way downstairs.

I ran my hands through my hair and joined the others. They stared back at me in shock or surprise. I wasn't sure which, my mind was a little messed up.

"Is Lily ok?" Zach asked.

I heavily sat sat next to Jack. "Err, I don't know...you heard?"

They all nodded.

"Yep A, even through the sound proofing stuff," Jack replied. "She was pretty loud."

"Sorry guys-"

"Don't be stupid Alex," Rian began. "Lily can be as loud as she wants to. We don't care. We only care about her getting better. The girl is having a rough time and Alex, you seem to make it bearable...If you need us, we're here for for both of you."

I smiled. Rian was right. Of course he was. He always is.

"Thanks Ri. She's asleep. Cinderblock Garden is on repeat up there."

Notes

I like this chapter. I spent a bit more time over it. Aww Alex singing to her. :)

Title Credit: All Time Low - Cinderblock Garden