Brook

"Oh! Brook, I totally forgot. There's going to be this pretty cool meteor shower in a little while," Alex told me, placing his phone down on the coffee table next to his empty pizza plate. "You think you can stick it out in the cold for a little while to watch?"

I nodded, lifting my wine glass from the table. "I might have to borrow another hoodie, but I think I can handle it," I said, taking a sip from the wine glass.

I wasn't entirely sure how many glasses I'd already had since I got to Alex's house but I was pretty sure I'd already finished off a bottle. I needed a little bit of an extra boost to be able to handle hanging out with Alex and not focus on how much I missed spending time with him like this.

"I'm pretty sure I can find a hoodie for you... that is unless you've officially stolen all of them," he said with a chuckle.

"I'll have to get those back to you," I replied.

I didn't mean it to be a break-up related comment but by the sad look that flashed through Alex's eyes momentarily, I knew that's how he took it.

An awkward silence hung in the air over us for a few moments. It was almost suffocating. I was thankful when Alex finally spoke.

"I'll go grab one now. This thing is probably going to start for us soon," he said, standing up.

I followed him, gathering the empty plates. "Thanks. I'll clean this all up in the meantime."

Alex nodded, shooting me a smile before he disappeared into his room. I took a deep breath and collected myself before I moved forward with bringing the dirty dishes to the sink.

I'd just finished rinsing them off and loading them into the dishwasher when Alex emerged with a handful of hoodies in his arms.

"I figured I'd give you a choice," he said, holding up the three hoodies.

Immediately my hands reached for the old, worn in, grey Glamour Kills hoodie. It was of my favorites of his to borrow. I was actually surprised I hadn't stolen that one yet.

"I knew you'd pick that one," Alex said, a small smile on his lips before he went to put the extra hoodies away.

While he was gone, I took the time to start to layer up.
*****

"Hey," Alex said once we were seated outside on the porch on two deck chairs. "Thanks for doing this with me. I know the cold isn't your favorite."

I shrugged, looking over to him from my seat. I was pretty bundled up, so at the moment I was pretty cozy. Not to mention the fresh glass of wine balancing on the seat between my legs. Alex had offered me a cup of coffee instead but I opted to stick with the wine. It hadn't let me down so far...

"I don't mind. I know how geeky you get over this space junk."

Alex laughed a little knowing it was true. He was really good at staying up all night googling all kinds of stuff about space and stars and the planets and trying to have a conversation about it all when he was drunk.

"I've certainly learned a lot," I added and noticed Alex glancing over at me.

We fell into an awkward silence and for a moment it was pretty painful. I didn't know what I say so I didn't say anything and drank my wine.

"You know, I've always wondered why you never moved somewhere warmer," Alex finally said to break the silence.

I looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean Baltimore has some brutal winters. And you hate being cold. I just figured you'd prefer somewhere warm, like out west or down south."

I shrugged. "It's not that I hate being cold. I'm just more susceptible to being cold than other people. I don't hate it."

"Oh..." Alex said softly and I realized he was trying to prevent any awkward silences.

"One Christmas my whole family was invited to spend the holidays in Florida where an aunt and uncle of mine live. Christmas in 78 degree weather just didn't feel right. And Christmas lights look awkward on a palm tree. I like the seasons."

Alex nodded. "I definitely know how that feels, especially with touring. A lot of times we go over to Australia in the winter so it's strange to be in shorts and a t-shirt, sweating and it's February."

I smiled over at him while taking a sip from the wine glass. As long as we could keep normal conversations up, we could handle this friends thing.

"Besides, I love Baltimore. I've lived here my whole life. But I always told myself if I was going to make a big move like that it would only be for New York."

"Of course." I saw Alex nod. "How come you never did?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Actually, can I tell you a secret?"

I glanced over at him again and he nodded. "Sure."

"I almost did move to New York. It was about this time last year when my aunt, Sam's mom, came to me with a job offer from a friend of hers. She was the headmistress of this super fancy prep school on the Upper East Side and they were looking for someone young for their guidance department."

Alex had an amused look on his face. "A prep school on the Upper East Side? You would have hated it."

"I know," I giggled. "But I figured I'd seen enough episodes of Gossip Girl to know what to expect."

"So, what happened?" he pried.

"I went up to New York a few times for some interviews and to look at apartments. At this point only my aunt and Sam knew. I didn't tell my mom. Not even Jenn."

"How come?"

I shrugged. "I guess I was afraid what they'd say. I really struggled with the decision. And I was so torn. They were giving me until the New Year to make a decision."

Alex nodded slowly. "So, obviously you decided against it. Why?"

A smile played on my lips. "I met a boy."

Alex was silent. I was afraid to look at him. And when I did I caught him shaking his head.

"Please, please, please tell me you didn't turn down that opportunity for me."

"I didn't. At least not specifically for you." I answered truthfully. "Moving to New York would have been a dream come true. But at the same time it was going to be a huge life change for me. And I was going to be up there essentially alone."

"But your family..."

"Is in Brooklyn," I cut him off. "And sure it's not that far away. But in a crisis not that far away is still far away."

Alex nodded.

"And I also wasn't ready to leave my kids at the school I'm at now. Sure those Upper East Side kids with Trust Funds worth more money than I'd ever see who have too much easy access to their mom's well stocked medicine cabinets probably could have used my guidance more. But I love the school I'm at now. I'm so glad I stayed."

Alex nodded again. "Do you regret it now?" he asked and I sort of felt it was a loaded question.

"What do you mean?"

“You said you didn’t specifically stay here for me, but you made it seem like meeting me played a part in your decision. Do you think you would have chosen differently had you known how this would end?"

"Alex," I sighed, placing the now empty wine glass next to the small table set between our two chairs. I realized this was mostly the wine talking at this point because I swore I'd never tell anyone about New York. "I told you..."

"No," he interrupted. "You said you were happy about the kids. You didn't say about me."

"Alex," I sighed. "Don't do this."

He shook his head. "Don't do what, Brook? It's just a question. You owe me that answer at least."

"What was your question?" I sighed.

"Do you regret letting me influence your decision not to go to New York? Even if it was only a little…"

I shook my head. "Alex, of course I don't regret it. Sure, things didn't end to way I wanted them to, but I wouldn't trade what we had and what we experienced for anything."

"Then why are you ending this?” he asked, sadness clouding his eyes. "Is what I did really that bad? We really can't just get passed it?"

"Alex..."

"No," he snapped. "I feel awful about this. But I don't feel like the punishment fits the crime."

I sighed, shaking my head. "It's not that simple, Alex. Okay?"

"No. It's not okay," he said simply.

"Hey! I think it's starting," I said, standing up quickly from my seat.

Suddenly, all the wine I'd drank hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt dizzy as I made my way to the railing of the porch. There was a better view of the sky from there.

A few seconds later Alex was standing next to me, glancing up at the sky.

"I think you saw a plane. There's nothing going on out there yet."

"Sorry," I shrugged.

Truthfully, I hadn't seen anything, I was just looking for an excuse to change the subject.

Alex nodded. I'm pretty sure he knew that I was full of it.

We were silent for a little while as we both looked up at the sky. A few airplanes passed over us.

"Are meteors like shooting stars?" I asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Not really," he shrugged, glancing over at me. "Why do you ask?"

"I figured if we could pretend airplanes were shooting stars, maybe we could also pretend the meteors were shooting stars. Because I really can use a wish now."

Alex sort of smiled at me. I could tell he was trying to tell if I was serious or just making a joke. As lame as it was, I was serious.

"I guess it's worth a shot, B.O.B.," he humored me. "What do you want to wish for?"

"If I tell you, I risk it never coming true,"

"Please?" he pressed.

I sighed. "I would like a sign, a sign that I'm doing the right thing here."

Alex was quiet for a moment before he spoke.

"Don't you think if you need reassurance that you're doing the right thing, then maybe you aren't?"

"Alex," I sighed. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

"Yeah," Alex looked away from me. "I shouldn't have either."

"I'm sorry," I muttered, looking back up at the sky in time to see something shoot across the darkness. "Did you see that?" I asked quickly.

I looked over to see Alex nod as he looked up at the sky. There seemed to be a bit of excitement in his smile again.

"Wow," I said, leaning a bit over the rail of the porch to look better. "This is so beautiful," I gasped, admiring the sparkling lights dart across the sky.

"Yeah," I heard Alex say. I turned to look at him and caught him watching me instead of the sky.

Up until this point I had done a pretty good job of keeping my guard up around Alex. Truth be told, it was becoming increasingly harder not to give in to him, especially as the wine continued to flow through my system.

I stepped back from the porch and realized that I had to get out of there. I could almost feel the wine slosh around my brain with each step I took, even though I knew that was not logical or possible.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked.

"Nothing," I shook my head, which did wonders for the sloshing liquid I imagined in my head. "I think it's time for me to go now, though," I said, backing away from him slowly.

"Whoa," Alex said quickly, his arm darting out to grab my wrist. "You don't seriously think I'm letting you leave, do you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Brook, do you realize how much wine you drank? You are not driving! No way."

He was right. I don't know where I think I was going.

"I could call Jenn to come get me."

"That's ridiculous. She's probably sleeping or elbow deep in text books. I know she's in finals week."

I sighed. I did not want to stay here. I was vulnerable as it was. And I knew combined with the amount of wine I drank and the way Alex kept looking at me, my guard was bound to come crashing down.

Alex stepped closer, squeezing my hand. "You can stay in Rian's room if you want."

I shook my head, pulling my hand away from him and turning my attention back to the lights in the sky.

I heard Alex sigh as he moved to stand next to me.

"It's pretty incredible," I said softly.

"What is?" he asked.

"How big the whole universe actually is..." I said, turning to him. "It kind of makes everything happening down here feel so small."

Alex nodded. "Hey," he said, reaching over and touching the small of my back. "Thanks for hanging out with me tonight. For real, it means a lot."

I gave him a small smile. "You don't have to thank me," I said slowly.

I was trying real hard to ignore the way Alex was looking at me. It was the way he always looked at me and it made it really hard to continue to keep my guard up.

"No one should have to spend their birthday alone," I said, my voice very quiet.

Alex smiled, reaching over and pushing some of the hair the wind had blown in my face behind my ear. It was just that simple gesture, combined with the way he was looking in my eyes that sent my guard crashing down.

"Brook," Alex spoke my name gently, moving a little closer. It was as if he could sense my guard was falling.

"Yeah..." I replied, fighting the urge to nuzzle my face into his hand.

"Would it be incredibly inappropriate if I kiss you right now?"

I looked at him, silent for too long. My head told me to say yes, it would be inappropriate. But my heart and every other part of my body yearned for his touch. A week had already been too long.

Alex seemed to be too impatient for an answer because the next thing I knew, he was grasping my face between both his hands as his lips pressed lightly to mine.

"Alex," I whispered his name breathlessly when he pulled back, too soon for my liking.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I know that it was wrong to do that. And I shouldn’t have but I just-"

"Shut up," I cut him off, wrapping my arms around his neck and crashing my lips to his.

Immediately Alex stopped speaking and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him as he deepened the kiss.

"Can we finish this inside?" I asked, a few moments later, breaking apart from the kiss.

"What?"

"It's really, really cold." I said with a slight giggle and Alex smiled, kissing the tip of my nose.

"Let's go," he said, taking my hand and leading me back inside.

The second he closed the door behind us, I was quick to press my lips back to his. He was just as quick to wrap his arms around me again and start leading us over to the couch in the living room.

I shook my head, pulling him away from the couch. "Bedroom," I mumbled against his mouth and he seemed to freeze for a second.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I nodded and he kissed me again, backing me towards his bedroom as we both started to discard the layers of warm clothing we had put on to go outside.

By the time we reached his room, we were down to our regular clothes and it started to dawn on me what we were about to do.

My knees buckled against the side of the mattress and we both fell back on the bed.

Alex held himself on top of me and kissed me slowly. It was as if he was trying to portray all his feelings and emotions in the kiss. It caused my head to spin more than it already had been.

I broke apart from the kiss long enough to pull Alex's shirt over his head and he responded by removing my shirt.

"Are you sure you're sure about this?" Alex asked as my fingers wrapped around the top of his basketball shorts, ready to push them down his legs.

"I'm sure, Alex," I said. "I need this."
***

Notes

Story Title: Taylor Swift - Sparks Fly
Chapter Title: All Time Low - Walls

Do you think this is it? Are they getting back together now?