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You've got to hold on.

.

Jack's POV

It still hurts, my heart was literally aching for Alex I need him more than what I can explain to anyone.
The day Alex walked out is a day I want to forget but I can't.
It hurts when i walk through the park with Zack and Rian and i see Alex sat on the bench looking fucked out of his face, he looks so broken and all i wanted to do was run over to him and pull him into a huge hug and kiss him hard but i couldnt because i have move on with my life and was with someone called Archie who was there for me when I needed someone he was there to put me back together.
But I knew that deep down I would always love Alex and that my heart belonged to him and it always will do.
Alex wanted me to make amends with Zack and Rian so I did that and I hoped it made him happy to see that I had my friends.

"Why do we always have to come here? He's not your problem anymore." Archie said as we sat down on the grass since it was summer so it was nice out and I didn't have to worry about Alex freezing to death.
"Because I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to him. You know how I feel about him." I said and looked at Archie.
"I know, but if he's going to top himself then he would of done it by now." Archie said.
"You don't know Alex. He'll wait to make sure everything is going to be okay and then he'll do it. I can't let him do that Archie and you know this by now." I said and Archie moved and kissed me which I returned.
"Stop worrying so much will you." He said quietly and brushed his lips against mine which made my breath hitch.
"Let's go back to mine yeah?" He said and smirked at me.
"We're going to study." I said seriously and got up.
"You won't be saying that." He said quietly and nipped my ear.
I just rolled my eyes as we walked back to Archie's but I quickly looked over my shoulder and saw that Alex has disappeared.

I was walking back from the coffee shop with Zack and Rian since we normally met up for coffee twice a week or whatever.
"Jack you seriously need to stop worrying about him. Alex isn't your responsibility anymore and your with Archie now." Rian said.
"I can't stop worrying about him. I have this feeling that something is going to happen to him and that i need to be there for him." I said.
"Jack, he fucking went off and cheated on you with some person. He was doing more drugs than before and he fucking left you on your families funeral. He wasn't there for you, and you know you shouldn't be here for him. Its his own fault that he's lost you and that your with someone better than him. Someone who was there for you when you almost fucking jumped." Rian said seriously and looked at me.
"But Alex has no one. I have you guys and Archie and Alex has no-one. He is own his own, he has no one to talk to his out of his thoughts. He is all alone so I'm sorry is I still care for him." I said.
"You still love him don't you?" Zack asked.
I looked down and nodded.
"As much as Archie put me back together and showed me what I should be getting, I feel incomplete. I feel like my heart is longing for Alex and it always will do." I said.
"Your not going to go back to him are you?" Rian asked.
"Rian, Jack loves Alex and as much as an asshole Alex has been towards Jack, Jack will always take Alex back because he loves him. I've seen the way Alex looks at Jack at the park and he truly looks broken." Zack said to Rian.
"Well maybe he shouldn't of been a cunt then." Rian said and I looked over and saw Alex.
"Something is wrong with him." I said and Zack and Rian looked to where I was looking.
"Fucking hell he looks fucking rough and completely out of it." Zack said and I quickly crossed the road and made my way towards Alex.

When I got to him he had collapsed on the floor and everyone was standing round him.
"Move." I said loudly a d pushed my way past and fell to my knees and picked Alex's head up.
"Alex, Alex don't you fucking die on me please. Please don't give up please." I said and felt tears roll down my cheeks.
"Alex." I said and slapped his face but got no response.
" No, no, no, no Alex don't do this wake up please wake up." I said and felt even more tears roll down my face.
"Someone call an ambulance!" I said loudly and lead Alex down and started to do CPR on him because I couldn't think of what else to do.
It wasnt until I felt a hand on my shoulder and i looked and saw a paramedic.
"Let me continue." She said softly and I backed off a little but kept a close eye on Alex.

"Jack?" Zack said and walked over to me.
"I can't, I can't lose him Zack. It sounds so bad because I'm with Archie but I can't be here without Alex." I rambled and Zack pulled me to his chest and I just started to cry harder.
"Archie understands." He said quietly.
I pulled back and looked at Zack.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Archie knows how much you still love Alex. He understands." Zack said.
"I can't lose him Zack." I said not knowing if I was on about Archie or Alex.
"You won't. You just need to talk to Archie and you just need to be there for Alex." Zack said.
I just nodded.
"Want to come to the hospital?" The paramedic asked and I nodded.
"I'll be there as soon as I can." Zack said and I walked off to the hospital and doing a lot of praying.

Notes

Comments

this is so sweet

I love this! So sad, BUT AS LONG AS JALEX DOESNT DIE!! NEITHER OF THEM CAN DIE!!!! PLEASE!!! PS you're super talented! xo

I am so sorry for not updating this story in what seems like forever.. I have just been so busy with work that I am mentally and physically drained and all I want to do is sleep. I also am having relationship problems and it is proper taking everything out off me and my mental health has gone completely side ways (and every other way part from upwards) that I generally have no idea what day I'm on or what the fuck I'm even doing and I'm just really disconnected from everything right now. I'm also on holiday with work next week but hopefully they have WiFi so I can update if I feel any better by then.
Stay safe peeps
Chloe

Batman suicide Batman suicide
9/23/16

I like the story so far, and your writing has improved so much over time. I love that you update so frequently, too.

T-what T-what
9/9/16