You've got to hold on.
.
× Mentions self harm, drug use, suicidal tendencies ×
Alex's POV
The last month has been one big blur.
Me and Jack weren't together anymore since I fucked everything up like normal. So I was back on the streets.
The last time I saw Jack was a month ago when he was walking through the park with Zack and Rian.
It broke my heart when he looked over but didn't notice me because I knew he noticed me.
I gave up on school and literary spent my time now fucked out of my face, so fucked I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
Jack had moved on with his and by the looks off things he had already found someone else.
I don't blame him, I wouldn't want to be with myself either.
Jack and this boy come to the park everyday after school since it was now summer and they would sit there and do their work while sharing the odd kiss here and there.
This broke my heart even more than what it already was.
All I wanted now was Jack to come over and tell me everything is going to be okay, but it wasn't going to happen and it will probably never going to happen either.
"Please, I'm literally begging you here. Just give me some drugs." I said to my drug dealer, well I was more like begging to him to give me the drugs.
"If I give you a load, promise you won't hit it hard as this stuff is a lot stronger than what you normally get Alex." He said seriously and looked at me.
"I promise man, just give me them." I said putting my hand out, sniffing and unable to stand still.
"Fucking hell Alex what has happened to you?" He asked as he sorted my stuff out.
"Never get into relationships. They always end up being broken and fucked up." I said and took a hit from a bong which was being past round.
"Never put you as the relationship type of guy." He said and sat next to me.
" I'm not. But he was different, thought I could change. But here I am getting fucked out of my face debating whether to fucking kill myself or not." I said and got up and grabbed my bag.
"You'll find someone Alex." He said softly.
"Highly fucking doubt it." I said and walked out of their house and went to a abandoned house where I knew it would be quiet.
I was off my face on whatever stuff my dealer had given me and I had a pretty deep cut on my harm which was bleeding badly and all I was doing now was waiting for death to come and pick me up but I got up and went for a walk like I normally do because I can't stay in one place.
I was wondering round the streets not having a clue what I was doing.
Everything felt so close but so far away.
Even when people spoke I couldn't hear them it was all one big 'blah' to me.
I don't even remember falling to the floor but there was one voice I could recognise and hear.
"Alex, Alex don't you fucking die on me please. Please don't give up please.." That was all I heard before everything went black and blank.
Alex's POV
The last month has been one big blur.
Me and Jack weren't together anymore since I fucked everything up like normal. So I was back on the streets.
The last time I saw Jack was a month ago when he was walking through the park with Zack and Rian.
It broke my heart when he looked over but didn't notice me because I knew he noticed me.
I gave up on school and literary spent my time now fucked out of my face, so fucked I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
Jack had moved on with his and by the looks off things he had already found someone else.
I don't blame him, I wouldn't want to be with myself either.
Jack and this boy come to the park everyday after school since it was now summer and they would sit there and do their work while sharing the odd kiss here and there.
This broke my heart even more than what it already was.
All I wanted now was Jack to come over and tell me everything is going to be okay, but it wasn't going to happen and it will probably never going to happen either.
"Please, I'm literally begging you here. Just give me some drugs." I said to my drug dealer, well I was more like begging to him to give me the drugs.
"If I give you a load, promise you won't hit it hard as this stuff is a lot stronger than what you normally get Alex." He said seriously and looked at me.
"I promise man, just give me them." I said putting my hand out, sniffing and unable to stand still.
"Fucking hell Alex what has happened to you?" He asked as he sorted my stuff out.
"Never get into relationships. They always end up being broken and fucked up." I said and took a hit from a bong which was being past round.
"Never put you as the relationship type of guy." He said and sat next to me.
" I'm not. But he was different, thought I could change. But here I am getting fucked out of my face debating whether to fucking kill myself or not." I said and got up and grabbed my bag.
"You'll find someone Alex." He said softly.
"Highly fucking doubt it." I said and walked out of their house and went to a abandoned house where I knew it would be quiet.
I was off my face on whatever stuff my dealer had given me and I had a pretty deep cut on my harm which was bleeding badly and all I was doing now was waiting for death to come and pick me up but I got up and went for a walk like I normally do because I can't stay in one place.
I was wondering round the streets not having a clue what I was doing.
Everything felt so close but so far away.
Even when people spoke I couldn't hear them it was all one big 'blah' to me.
I don't even remember falling to the floor but there was one voice I could recognise and hear.
"Alex, Alex don't you fucking die on me please. Please don't give up please.." That was all I heard before everything went black and blank.
this is so sweet
11/6/16