You've got to hold on.

Jacks POV

Alex was asleep on the bed cuddled in my side while I messed with his hair.
I was miles away thinking when I left Alex getting really worked up.
I looked at him and saw he was having some kind of panic attack in his sleep "Babe wake up." I said and shook him gently.
Alex didn't wake up and his breathing was getting faster and faster.
"Baby you have to wake up." I said and shook him hard.
He still didn't wake up so I sat up and sat on him and kissed him.
"Lex listen to my voice if you can hear me, you are having a panic attack and I need you to wake up so I can help you calm down." I said and Alex must of heard me as he slowly began to wake up.
"Hey baby." I said quietly and Alex looked at me with fear in his eyes.
I picked his hand up and put it on my chest so he could feel my heart beating.
"You have focus in my heart beating and listen to me to help with your breathing. You got that?" I said and Alex nodded.

About half an hour later Alex had calmed down and he had fallen asleep.
I looked at the time and it was 6 in the morning so there was no point in me going to sleep.
My door creaked open and mum walked in.
She came over and quietly sat on the bed.
"Have you been to sleep yet?" She whispered.
"No. Alex is having a really bad night." I said quietly and looked at Alex who was cuddled in my side with his arm round my waist.
" Sweetie go to sleep. You don't have to go to school." Mum said quietly.
I just sighed and rolled on my side with Alex being the big spoon and he moved closer to me.
"See you both later." Mum said quietly and I felt her get up and my bedroom door shutting and I was out like a light.

When I woke up Alex was tracing patterns along my ribs.
Alex stripped when he saw I was awake.
"Don't stop. I like it." I muttered which made Alex chuckle and he kissed my side which made me smile.
"I'm sorry I kept you up last night." He said quietly and he cuddled into my side.
"Its okay I don't mind." I said and kissed his formed which made him smile.
The house was scarily quiet considering Alice and Alfie are meant to be home and them two are the noisest pair of kids mum has ever had.
"The place is very quiet." Alex said quietly.
"You telling me. Still its nice to have some peace." I said and Alex hummed in agreement.
"I've been thinking." I said and Alex looked at me.
"Well that's deadly." Alex chuckled and I playfully glared at him.
"I don't want the full on sex yet but I want something if you get me." I said and felt myself blush and looked down.
"I get you." Alex said and moved and sat on me while he was kissing me.
"You're really light." I said and Alex looked down.
"You know its not healthy babe." I said and made him look at me.
"One step at a time. I'm getting there even if it is baby steps." Alex said and kissed me.
"So since we've already done first base think we should move to second." Alex said and I looked at him confused.
"I get to touch your junk." He smirked.
I just looked at him.
"If you don't want me to the just say." He said seriously.
I looked down feeling like a twat for backing out.
"Its okay, I can wait. For you I can't wait." He said and kissed me which I returned.
"I love you no matter what." Alex said which made me smile.
"I love you too Lex." I said and kissed him again.

Notes

this is literally as good as it will get.
My day has been one big bundle of stress and then having a load of relationship issues on top has not help and my emotions are literally all over the place.

Just a heads up about tommorow.
There may or may not be a update as I have a busy day and it's carnival and I am planning to get drunk so there's your pre warning