How did we end up here??
New adventures
*Zacks POV*
Amy had been in Marryland with me for about a week and a half now. She was slowly but surely getting ready to leave for her tour. I knew I was going with her but I had my worries that for some reason I couldn't get out of my head. She meant so much to me, I had never really fallen for a girl like this before. I mean, I thought that I had been in love before. But in short amount of time we had been together I knew it was more than anything I've ever had before.
I worried about her a lot though. She would get in these states where she would just go blank. She would stop showing emotion all together When I would snap her out of hit she would always just smile at me, but it never seemed like a genuine smile. I knew something was up. There was something she wasn't telling me. I figured there was a good reason behind it, but it did bother me a lot.
I woke up about an hour ago and untangled myself from her and she moved slightly. I was in the kitchen in my basketball shorts drinking about my third cup of coffee and watching the tv from afar. I heard her wake up and put my cup down to go meet her. She was standing above her suitcase scratching her head. She was wearing her purple underwear and matching bra. I laughed and she turned around almost startled. I walked up to her and pulled her into me. She laughed and rested her head on my chest.
"How long have you been awake?" She smiled up at me.
"About an hour. I didn't want to wake you up. We don't have anything to do today so I didn't think it mattered." I just shrugged
"Okay, well what time is it?" I picked up my phone and checked the time. I was actually really surprised.
"It's almost 2 PM actually. I didn't even know that myself." Her face dropped. She quickly just grabbed whatever clothes she could find and threw them on.
"I leave for tour tomorrow and I'm not even close to ready. I can't believe I slept in this late." I tried to grab her arm to calm her down but she just jerked away and started folding her clothes and packing her suitcase. She finished about twenty minutes later as I just sat on the side of the bed watching her panic. I didn't really know what to do so I just sat there.
I got up and started packing my own stuff and once we were done she collapsed next to me. Why was she so panicked? I never freaked this bad before a tour.
"Hey, is everything okay??" I just stared at her and she sat up and smiled weakly at me.
"Yeah, I'm okay I promise." She was doing it again. She was faking it. I figured I might as well ask now.
"Have you told me everything? You've seemed off lately and I don't know what to do to help. You're aren't telling me everything I just know it." I played with my hands and she scooted cloer to me. Her mint green hair was brushing my shoulder and she still had bed head. Her leftover makeup was resting on her face and she was always so cute to me.
"You're smarter than I thought Merrick." I laughed and she kissed me softly. "I haven't told you everything, that I'll be honest about. I honestly don't know how to tell you all of it. It's a lot of crap for anyone to take in and I don't want to overwhelm you with it." I squeezed her hand and just stared at her.
"I don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me. I don't want that at all." She sighed before turning and smiling at me.
"I just have a lot of stuff going on that comes from my past. I went through a lot as a kid. Mostly in my teens though. I just had a lot of bullying in my elementary and high school until I eventually switched. I was just really depressed after that. I started self harming and was suicidal. I eventually lost all my friends and ended up in a hospital for my health. I ended up in a hospital four more times throughout high school. I was an avid self harmer, and had an eating disorder. I started having audio and visual hallucinations. I eventually stopped self harming after a pierce the veil concert that basically snapped me into reality. and ive been about four years clean ever since. I also went off my medications and it's been weird ever since. I feel everything now so im really not used to that." She took a really deep breath and I realized that was mostly it. I pulled her into the tightest hug I could and I could feel her fighting back tears. I had never actually seen her cry, I knew she didn't like to cry especially in front of other people.
"I just want you to know, that you having depression doesn't make me think your broken or think less of you. Everyone goes through things like that. I'm just really happy you made it out alive and now you're here with me. I'm so happy i have you here with me. It makes me so happy that I have you." She looked up at me and it was the first real smile I had seen in a few days.
She pushed me back and rolled on top of me and kissed me. I laughed and she just stared at me and started to laugh to. Good thing we packed already.