How did we end up here??
it feels like im paralyzed
we arrived in maryland after leaving arizona a week before he was originally supposed to. i left for tour in two weeks. i didn't understand why we had to come this soon and stay until we flew out for the start of the tour. but then i realized something completely forgot. my birthday was in two days. i froze remembering the fact that i was going to be 21. it didn't seem real to me. but it was, this was real life.
we called an uber and it pulled up to his house. i laughed realizing why he thought my apartment was so small. we went in and i quickly realized it was a three bedroom one story house. one room was a guest room, the master was his and the other room has workout equipment everywhere. that didn't surprise me. he hated when he didn't get to work out all the time.
he walked me into his house which was painted a dark red. i loved it. it made me think of my room at my parents house that was a dark purple with a black ceiling. i missed it a lot. he led me into his room which i saw had for sure been left untouched for quite some time. it was obvious he had been gone for awhile. we had been together for about four months at this point. and i was starting to feel bad that we hadnt even had sex. he never brought it up or even tried to instigate it. it made me question why, was he not interested? or just being nice. i didnt really know but i knew i didnt want to think about it.
i smiled looking at photos of him and his family on his dresser. there was one of him and a girl who looked slightly younger than him basically making fun of each other. "Is this your sister?" i asked. he never really brought up his family. mostly because i knew he felt bad that i missed mine. even though i never came out and said i did. he knew i did.
"yeah, shes about four years younger than me. shes turning 26 next year. it's crazy. she lives in balitimore. super close to alex actually. they used to date. it was really weird when they broke up, he left her and went back to lisa. she didn't really take it well. she hated the sight of him for years. but she's cool about it now." i laughed. i knew alex's history with women. if he ever dated someone else while on a break with lisa he always ran back to her. but they're married now. and that was all that really mattered. he was happy, so that's all the guys cared about. besides lisa was actually really cool. i met her when she visited them on tour for a bit. she already knew about zack and i told me she had my back no matter what. i thought she was a great girl.
"Speaking of my family..." zack paused and i turned and looked at him. i knew what was coming next. "do you want to meet them while you're here? they know all about you and really want to meet you. they've never not met someone i've been with this long and care about this much." he started turning red and i laughed. i went over to the bed and sat on top of him and placed my forehead against his.
"Zack, of course i want to meet them. they're the reason you exist and i'm pretty damn glad you exist." he sighed and kissed me. i wanted more from him but i didn't know what he wanted. he pulled away hesitantly and looked at me lustfully.
"Fuck. I was going to wait until your birthday. i wanted it to be super special. but i mean. your birthday is in two days. close enough right?" I knew what he meant i nodded and that was how we spent the night.