You and I.

Alex's POV

"Babe?" Jack said quietly as he walked into the bedroom.
"He can't be dead." I said quietly as I pulled one of Jacks hoodies on purely for comfort.
"I'm so sorry babe, I know how close you two was." Jack said and walked over and wrapped his arms round me like he always does when I'm upset about something.
"I haven't any friends Jack. He was my only friend." I sniffed and wiped my nose in the sleeve of the hoodie.
"I know he was." Jack said and rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head.
I just buried my face into his chest.
"Shell we go and see if its him or not?" Jack asked quietly and I nodded and moved away and used the sleeve to wipe my nose again.
"Using my hoodie as a snot rag?" Jack chuckled and I smiled and nodded.
"That's okay because your allowed." He said and kissed me.
I smiled and put some jeans on and my shoes.
"I'll meet you out in the sitting room." Jack said quietly.
"Don't go." I blurted out and Jack looked at me.
"Sorry, you can go if you want." I said and looked down.
Jack walked over and made me look at him.
"No, something is ticking in your head and I'm not leaving you." He said and kissed me.
I smiled and Jack knelt down and done my shoes up for me and down my trouser button up which made me smirk at him and I got a smirk in return.
"If your in the mood later then maybe we can do something." He said quietly and kissed me.

"Come on lets get going." Jack said and I put the hood up as everyone looks at me because of my scars and they was probably judging me and Jack.
"You don't have to wear your hood up." Jack said.
"People will look at me and I'm not in the right mind set to be okay with it." I said.
"I understand." Jack said and kissed the side of my head.
One of the things I love about Jack is that he does understand and if he doesn't he'll try his hardest to understand.
"We're off Rose you going to be okay?" Jack said to Rose.
"I have my laptop, music and shit so I'm good." She said her eyes not leaving her laptop.
"Can you look after the dog as well?" Jack asked.
"Yerp. I wont even leaving the flat since he's asleep on me." She said.
"Okay you have our numbers if you need us." Jack said and Rose gave us a thumbs up and we went to the morgue.

When we got there I gripped hold of Jacks hand tightly.
"You'll be okay." Jack said quietly and nuzzled the side of my head and kissed the side of my softly.
"I can't do it." I said quietly.
"Yeah you can because I'm going to be here for you every step of the way." He said as we got to the desk.
"Can I help you?" The lady asked.
"We're here to ID a body." Jack said.
"Name?" She asked and looked at us.
"Oscar. Oscar Speed." I sniffed.
"You family?" She asked.
"No. He doesn't have family, Me and my partner was like family to him." I said.
"Okay, surnames?" She said and got her pen ready to write our names down.
"Gaskarth." I said and she looked at me.
"Spell it exactly how it sounds." I said.
"Okay." She said and wrote it down and gave me a sticky label with vistors on it.
She looked at Jack.
"Barakat." He said.
"Exactly how it sounds?" She asked.
"Yeah." Jack said.
" Okay here it is then." She said and gave Jack his label.
"Cheers." Jack said.
"If you would like to take a seat and someone will be with you soon." She smiled and me and Jack nodded and we took a seat.

I was really anxious and these places really didn't go down very well with me.
"It could of been me. You could of been the one looking at a dead body and saying it was me." I said quietly and quickly.
"Lex you have to breath for me okay. Its not you okay. I will do everything I can to make sure you don't end up in one of these places." He said but it sound more like a promise to himself as he pulled my to his side and I rested my head on his shoulder and he put his head on top of mine.
We sat in silence until our names was called and we went down to where the dead bodies was.

When we got there I got hold of Jacks hand and we stood round the body.
Jack put his hand round my waist and pulled me close to him.
"You ready?" The person asked and looked at me and Jack.
He looked longer at me since I had my hood down out of respect.
"Yes and don't look at my boyfriend." Jack said seriously since I wasn't going to say anything.
"Sorry." The person said and pulled the cover back.
I let out a quiet sob and Jack pulled me even closer to his side.
"Is that Oscar?" The person asked and I nodded and reached my hand out and put it on top of Oscars.
"How?" I managed to croak out.
"He cut himself and overdosed on his medication and then hanged himself." The person said.
"He wanted to be dead." I said quietly so only Jack heard me.
"I cant stay here. I'm sorry Oscar." I sniffed and kissed the top off his head and walked quickly out the room.

Once I was out of there I lent against the wall and slid down it and hugged my knees and began to really cry.
I heard the door open and I felt someone kneel in front of me and put a hand on my knee.
"Come on babe. Lets go home." Jack said quietly.
"I couldn't stop him. He never even told me how he was feeling." I sobbed out.
"You cant save everyone Lex. Some people just cant be saved." Jack quietly but I knew he was thinking about me.
"But he could of been saved. I should off phoned him Jack! I could of stopped him and then he wouldn't be dead on a table. I would still have my friend." I said loudly.
"Lex calm down okay. You couldn't of phoned him because he had his phone off because I called him to see if he wanted to come over for pizza." He said.
This just made me feel worse.
" Babe, he wasn't taking his meds. He was saving them and you know what you are like without your meds. You cant think straight and Oscar was the same." He said.
"I have more problems than him. If he did that than what the fuck am I capable off." I said.
Jack put his hand on my cheek and ran his thumb over my cheek scar I had.
"You are capable to do many things to yourself. I know you are, but I know you are going to fight this Lex because you have me. I have been with you for the last 6 years and I am not going anywhere okay." He said.
I looked down.
"Come on we need to see if that sister of yours has burnt the flat down." He said and I smiled a little.
Jack helped me up and he pulled me into a hug with I returned.
"You did good Lex." He whispered in my ear.
"Couln't of down it without you." I said and looked at him and kissed him.
Jack smiled and he caught hold of my hand and we went home.

Notes