Baby, I Will Be Your Everything

“Mmf.”

I cringed as soon as the deep grunt filled my ears, tugging my hand away faster than I could blink. Guilt swarmed my gut and I bit my lip, ignoring the tightness in my thighs as I pressed my knees more into the solid couch cushion.

“I didn’t mean to.” I apologized again, pressing my palm back over Alex’s hand and slowly inching the bag of frozen peas more onto the bridge of his bruised nose. “You need to keep it there.”

“S’all good.” He mumbled out and even though his lips are covered, I can tell they’re pressed into a lopsided smirk.

I rolled my eyes, removing my hand from his and brushing it back through my damp hair. Sighing, I pushed off of the couch and cleared my throat to will the blush from creeping over my cheeks. I stood straight, ignoring the discomfort in my lower half while I pulled the hem of my grey hoodie back down to cover my hips. Glancing back up, I caught him staring at me with the same expression he’s had since we pulled up to the house.

“This isn’t funny.” I whispered, tucking my hands into my side pockets. “They’re gonna ask-”

“’n you can tell’em you headbutted me.” He finished, sounding majorly congested all over again. “You won’ be lyin’.”

“Because that can happen when I’m supposed to be in the front seat of your car.” I scoffed sarcastically, listening closely to the sound of footsteps above us.

“Well.” He shrugged, shooting me a wink. “You were-”

“Alex.” I warned, biting on my tingling bottom lip. “Please stop talking. You don’t know how to whisper and I have no idea where either of my parents are.”

“Relax.” He chuckled, rolling his eyes as he slumped back against the couch. “And I know how to whisper you dick.”

I gaped, closing my mouth right as the corners of my eyes caught someone walking into the family room. I looked over, practically sighing with relief when Lauren walked through the doorway in her pajamas. Tugging my hands from my pockets, I combed my fingers through my hair again and dropped my gaze to the large bowl of popcorn in her hands.

“Didn’t you shower this morning?” She questioned, giving me a weird look.

I pressed my lips together, wiping my hands along the thighs of my dark purple joggers before shoving them back in my pockets with a shrug. I could feel heat rushing up my neck and the darkness taking over the room from the sun setting definitely helped it go unnoticed.

“He needed another.” Alex commented, taking her attention from me while I shot him a glare. “Where’s your boy toy?”

“Wow, I haven’t heard you utter more than two words in days.” She retorted, waving him off as she moved to sit along the other side of the sectional. “And he’s not my boy toy, he’s my friend. He got picked up almost an hour ago.”

“Did you have a nice time?” I asked curiously, shoving all of my previous worries to the back of my mind.

“It was fine.” She answered with a lazy shrug, popping a handful of popcorn into her mouth. “Why is there a bag of peas on Alex’s face? Did Dad lose his crap again? He’s been in his room for a while.”

“If your dad lost his shit on me a second time I’d be lookin’ a hell of a lot worse than this.” Alex muttered.

I pursed my lips into a frown, crossing my arms over my chest lightly while I shook my head at him.

“S’just sore.” He added, locking eyes with me.

“Oh.” She chuckled, nodding her head. “Yeah, it’s been looking pretty crooked lately. Must be painful.”

I giggled quietly, picturing the scowl taking over his face when his eyebrows furrowed. Lauren joined in, making him roll his eyes and stand up from the couch.

“Whatever, assholes.” He joked, pulling the bag from his face.

“Hey.” I warned, pointing at him.

“S’been twenty minutes, babe.” He shrugged, slowly backing up towards the doorway. “S’numb and I’m tired of holdin’ it.”

“Okay.” I nodded, thinking back to when I looked up how long to ice it online on the way home. “We’ll do it again after another twenty minutes.”

“It’s gonna be fine.” He groaned, turning around and walking through the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes, tucking my hand back into my pocket when my phone vibrated. Sighing, I pulled it from my pocket and unlocked the screen. Licking my lips, my eyes skimmed over the text from Cassadee and I grimaced to myself.

From: Cass
Don’t forget to ask your mommy about the bonfire, Mr!

“I see you and Alex are okay.” Lauren whispered, taking my attention from my keyboard as I slipped into the seat Alex was just on.

“Yeah, we’re good.” I confirmed, shooting her a smile.

She grinned, shoving another handful of popcorn into her mouth before snatching the remote from between us. I chuckled, sending Cass a quick text back to assure her I’ll let her now as soon as one of them come back downstairs. I’m surprised they’re even out of sight since they knew Alex and I got home a little while ago.

“Magic Mike is on Netflix!” Lauren gasped dramatically, smacking her greasy hand over my side repeatedly. “We have to watch it, Jack!”

“Isn’t that movie about strippers?” I asked, swatting her arm away. “Get your butter fingers away from my sweater.”

“Yeah and it’s with Channing Tatum.” She swooned, falling back into the couch while her legs stretched out.

I laughed as I watched her take over the three cushions forming the vertical half of the sectional, glancing over to the TV screen to see the dreamy man without a shirt on and a pair of suspenders attached to black fireman pants. I sighed in content, looking over his six pack another two times before allowing myself to sink back into the cushion holding me upright.

“I wouldn’t mind watching him take his pants off.” I commented, biting my lip suggestively.

“Uh, I would.” Alex chimed in, suddenly standing in front of me.

I licked my lips, staring into his own toned stomach and sharp lines leading into the grey waistband of his briefs sticking out from his black joggers. I blinked, noting where my eyes glued to the bulge in his pants before I shot my gaze back up to his lifted eyebrows.

“Let me get behind you.” He said slowly, smirking down at me.

I rolled my eyes, pushing myself back off of the couch and standing with my arms crossed while he laid over the three cushions before Lauren. I giggled, watching him shove his feet behind her back before pressing his arm along the armrest of the couch and holding his right arm up to reach for me.

“I heard he does some of his sexy breakdance moves.” Lauren continued, ignoring Alex as she clicked the remote. “Like, from Step Up.”

I clapped my hands together softly, slowly sitting on the edge of the couch. Once I laid down and got comfortable against Alex, he wrapped his arm over my waist and dug his chin into the back of my neck.

“Why’re you so needy?” I teased, sinking into the couch cushions more with his added weight.

“M’not fuckin’ needy.” He muttered into my hair, pushing his knee between my legs to get more comfortable. “And I’m not watching a fucking dude take his clothes off.”

“It’s Channing Tatum!” Lauren emphasized, making me nod softly in agreement.

“I don’t give a fuck.” He replied hoarsely, squeezing my hip. “The only guy I wanna watch get undressed is in my arms.”

“Alex.” I flushed, hearing Lauren gag loudly beside us.

“I have the remote, therefore I’m in charge of what we watch and I say we’re watching it.” She decided, hitting play. “And please keep comments like that to yourself from now on. I really don’t wanna hear that Lex.”

“Seriously.” I added, biting back the smile fighting its way on my lips when he snuggled into me as much as he could without bumping his nose. “Please learn how to filter yourself when it’s not just me you’re talking to.”

“Oh, so I can only talk dirty to you when we’re alone?” He quipped, slipping his hand under the hem of my hoodie.

“Alex!” Lauren complained, slapping her arm down on my ankle.

“Ow!” I exclaimed as the sharp pain shot up my leg. “Wrong foot!”

“I’m sorry.” She apologized, rubbing her hand over where she hit me a few times before rolling her eyes at me. “I forgot his feet are behind my back because he’s a freaking giant.”

“I’m only joking.” Alex added in, voice drifting out towards the end.

I hummed, pressing my back more against him while I fully relaxed. I rested my hand on top of his over my hip, giggling at the scoff leaving his throat once the beginning credits began rolling across the screen. Biting my lip, I listened to the volume of the TV increase and turned my head towards him the best I could with him own head blocking my way.

“I gave you quite a show earlier so shut up and watch the man strip with me.” I whispered, barely hearing my own voice over the crowd cheering from the movie.

He let out a huff against my neck, twitching his fingers over my hip to show he heard me. I grinned, turning my head back to the screen when it lit up with the quiet opening scene. I sighed in content, getting sucked into the storyline right away. My eyebrows furrowed in thought after ten minutes in and I pressed back against Alex, turning my body more comfortably while I tried to comprehend what this is supposed to be about. It went from a strip club to Channing’s house to some random guy and now we’re watching said random guy save a girl from an asshole shoving passed her in the club.

“Wow, I didn’t know I had a boyfriend.” Ditz number one exclaimed, giggling like a maniac.

“Who do we have to fuck to get some damn drinks over here?!” Her slutty friend exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air.

“Uh, me. Please?” The bummy guy flirted pathetically, making me burst into laughter.

“Alex, I didn’t know you were in this movie.” I joked, unable to contain the giggles escaping my lips as the words slipped out lazily.

Lauren snorted from her side of the couch, loudly chomping on popcorn while I tilted my head back after I calmed down some.

“Baby?” I called, biting back my grin. “Alex.”

I frowned, registering the way his heavy breaths hit my neck at a steady rate. I let out a whine, crossing my arms over my chest with a pout when I realized he fell asleep already and completely missed me poking fun at him.

“It’s only after nine thirty.” Lauren snickered, nudging my ankle with her elbow. “Jeez Jay, your boyfriend could seriously care less about seeing butts in thongs.”

“My boyfriend could care less about seeing boys in thongs unless it’s me.” I corrected, rolling my eyes to myself. “He’d be drooling if the screen was filled with boobs and g-strings.”
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“You’re certainly in a good mood.”

I hummed quietly, tucking my left hand into the side pocket of my dark grey zip-up. Licking my lips, I kept my gaze down in front of me and felt my stomach rumble at the smell filling my nostrils.

“How did you sleep last night?” Mom asked as soon as I felt her presence beside me.

“Just fine.” I answered, flattening the sandwich in the pan with the spatula in my right hand.

I bit my cheek when I heard the tone slipping in my voice, but I can’t help but feel annoyed at her obvious attempt to already get under my skin. The moment she leaves her bedroom for the day and she’s already bringing up the fact that Alex and I are stupidly separated for the time being, which still makes completely no sense to me or Alex. Even Lauren thinks it’s ridiculous.

“Oh?” She went on, surprise lacing her voice. “Well, that’s good. I wasn’t expecting you to look so chipper this morning.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes, using my energy to flip the crispy sandwich over instead. Setting the spatula on the counter beside me, I tucked my right hand into my pocket and slowly turned to face her with a shrug.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll probably have bags under my eyes the size of golf balls by tomorrow.” I admitted, biting at my lip when her eyebrows furrowed. “The only reason I slept decent was because Alex, Lauren and I all passed out on the couch during the movie we were watching last night.”

“Seeing you with bags under your eyes is not going to make me feel better, Jack.” She frowned, shaking her head at me. “Your attitude changing is what will make me feel better. Your behavior-”

“I don’t have an attitude.” I defended, turning back to the frying pan when the sizzling quieted down.

“This wouldn’t be a discussion if it wasn’t a problem, Jack.” She sighed, ignoring the scowl taking over my face as I used the spatula to scoop the grilled cheese onto the plate I left on the cold side of the stove. “We are aware that nothing more can happen with you at the moment, but that doesn’t mean we want you to continue doing the things you were doing behind our backs under our roof. What kind of example would we be setting for Lauren if we-”

I pressed my lips together lightly, focusing my attention on dropping the second buttered set of bread into the hot pan while I forced myself to think before speaking. I glared into the sizzling bread for a few more seconds, letting her words go in one ear and out the other until I finally heard silence.

“Lauren is fourteen years old, Mom.” I started, turning my back to the cooking bread to look into her eyes. “She knows what not to do just like I do. I get that I should’ve told you about the sex, but that was something I wanted to talk with you guys about when I already moved out. Maybe if I knew there was something important for me to know I would’ve came to you, but I didn’t exactly expect to be told I’m not an average guy like Alex. And I’m sorry for how I talked to you yesterday, I really am, but it felt like you were attacking me and I needed to defend myself. I’m not trying to teach Lauren that it’s okay to be a pregnant seventeen-year-old. I’m actually trying to be a good big brother and watch out for her. Why do you think I go on all of her dates with her? It’s not just because you practically force her to ask me which is not helping her want to follow your rules by the way. Ever heard of good girls being the worst-”

“Alright, Jack. I understand.” She cut in, stopping my irritated rambling as my chest started to burn from lack of oxygen. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to take my anger out on you either. I should’ve been more clear when you were younger, but I never thought anything would happen without me knowing about it. I caught on to you and Alex quicker than you thought and I thought I would’ve noticed a change in you, but I never did. The only thing that increased was your vocabulary, but I put that as just you and Alex being teenage boys.”

I sighed, a little smile barely forming on the corner of my lips as I turned to flip the remaining grilled cheese over one more time.

“I know Lauren is fourteen, but she’s my little girl. It’s different with her for me than it was with you. I’m not saying I love either of you more than the other, but I just.” She paused, sighing heavily while she moved to lean near the cold side of the stove. “I worry.”

“It’s okay to be worried.” I commented, slipping my spatula under the sandwich and flipping it on top of the other on the glass plate. “But like I said, she’s smart and knows what she’s supposed to and not supposed to do. You’ve got to give her some space to grow.”

I dropped the spatula on the counter and leaned forward enough to twist the knob of the burner off. Once it clicked, I pushed the hot pan on the cold back burner to cool off and grabbed the cool edges of the burning plate. Once I picked it up in my hands, I looked back to Mom and felt more of the weight on my shoulders lift.

“I’m really sorry about how I talked to you. I was getting a little defensive and I didn’t mean to use such bad words like I did.” I told honestly, slumping my shoulders a little. “It just felt like you were condescending me in front of them and I don’t know, it just made me get angry. That mixed with the fact that I really don’t understand why you’re separating me from Alex after having no problem with us sharing my room before. Like we know, nothing-”

“I’m aware you can’t get any more pregnant, Jack.” She informed, fidgeting a little. “Your dad’s decision to separate the two of you is not completely because we don’t want you having sex under our roof anymore. We want you two to have some much-needed time apart.”

I licked my lips, listening to the buzz in my ears from everything getting so quiet while I processed her words. Letting out a silent breath, I closed my eyes for a few seconds and shook my head lightly. What? Needed time apart? Is she fucking crazy? First, she blames everything on the attitude I don’t have. I may have gotten a little sassy yesterday, but I’m definitely not like that every day. I was just so pissed about Dad telling me I can’t share my room with Alex and it all boiled up again when Mom was arguing with me in front of Lauren and Derek. The last thing on my mind right now is needing time apart. I need to be with him as much as possible right now, not the other way around.

“What do you.” I began, opening my eyes again. “We don’t need any time apart. None of this makes sense, Mom.”

“I told you it doesn’t need to make sense to you, Jack.” She reminded, pushing off of the counter. “I’m a jumbled mess myself with worrying about Lauren doing things I don’t want her to do and worrying about you and Alex spending every moment together. All you need to know is that things will be like this for a short while unless you decide otherwise-”

“Unless I decide?” I repeated, feeling my eyebrows scrunch together. “If I could decide then I’d decide to keep him in my-”

“You two have been tense since this pregnancy got out and I just need you to take a step back and breathe. Think about yourself. You’re only seventeen and I know you think you’re in love-”

“I know I’m in love.” I corrected, clicking my tongue in offense. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“You’re too young to know what real love is, Jack.” She continued, making my frown deepen. “This is part of the problem here. Alex is the one and only boy you’ve ever been with. I’m not sure you know what you’re feeling and I certainly don’t think Alex knows-”

“Are you trying to tell me Alex doesn’t love me?” I gaped, clenching the plate tighter.

“Don’t put words into my mouth, young man.” She warned, pointing her finger. “I’m not saying that. I’m just telling you- you know what? Go eat your sandwiches. I’m not going to argue with you right now and you better keep your mouth shut if you still want to have that bonfire of yours Friday night.”

I gawked, watching with wide eyes as she turned away from me and stormed back out of the kitchen. Closing my mouth, I blinked slowly and attempted to comprehend what the hell just happened. I apologize and sort of talk things out with her and then it turns into another argument because she thinks I don’t know what love is?

“Baby!”

I shook my head, hissing at the hot heat seeping into my fingertips the longer I cradled the glass plate.

“I’m coming!” I called, stepping around the island and rushing back through the kitchen.

I stepped into the family room, rolling my eyes when I found Alex missing. My eyes immediately lifted towards the sliding back door and once the small gap met my eyes, I rolled my eyes a second time. Walking over, I shoved my foot through the thick gap and pushed more weight into it. Once it easily slid open, I stepped out onto the patio and scanned the backyard.

“Seriously?” I asked, finding Alex slouched over in the hammock towards the right side of the yard.

“Babe, m’hungry.” He whined, a cloud of smoke forming around him as he talked.

“Put the cigarette out then.” I told, using my elbow to nudge the door closed. “I’m not walking over there with smoke everywhere.”

He grunted, sucking in another long inhale before tossing the glowing stick away. I shook my head, watching him shoot the smoke out in circles until he ran out.

“Can you go five minutes without smoking?” I questioned, feeling the cool grass tickle my feet as I slowly walked over. “That has to be your fifth one since you woke up.”

“I woke up with you.” He reminded, holding his hand out for a sandwich.

“Yeah and that was only an hour ago.” I retorted, lowering the plate enough for him to snatch the top sandwich. “Be careful because its hot.”

He nodded, ignoring the warning and taking a bite straight out of the steaming corner. The deep groan barely leaving his throat let me know he burned himself, but he didn’t seem to care as he shoved another mouthful into his mouth.

“Jesus.” I muttered, moving to stand across from him before plopping down in the grass.

“You could sit wit’me.” He mumbled, smacking his lips together.

I shook my head, tucking my legs into each other and setting the plate over my lap. Once it balanced on my knees, I quickly ripped the sandwich in half and wiped my greasy fingers off on my legs.

“Thanks, baby.” He said through another mouthful.

“Your welcome.” I giggled, glancing up to see him laying back down with a little less than half of the grilled cheese left in his hand.

I bit my lip, feeling my stomach flutter happily as I took him in. Mom’s words filled my mind and I found myself itching to tell him about it, but the smile taking over his face when he looked down at me made me brush the urge away.

“I can deal with you cooking for me every day.” He nodded. “Even if it’s only grilled cheese.”

“I love you.” I grinned, unable to control the giggles escaping me.

“Yeah yeah.” He agreed. “I love you more.”
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"Jack?"

I hummed, looking over to Lauren before I turned back towards the open dryer. I leaned forward, shoving my arm in and scooping the last two handfuls of warm clothes into the tall white basket standing next to me.

"Alex has been in the shower for thirty minutes." She informed as I shut the dryer.

I furrowed my eyebrows, standing back up straight after shoving the round door closed. I glanced to the cold floor, making sure nothing dropped around the basket before I grabbed the thick blue handles and turned towards her.

"He isn't sleeping?" I questioned, carefully waddling with the basket as she backed out of the small laundry room.

I huffed, dropping the basket at the bottom of the carpeted steps loudly. Why do I always wait until the hamper is overflowing before I actually do any laundry? Every single time.

"No..." She trailed off like it was obvious. "He was acting weird and then he said he was gonna shower. I told him I needed to shower before Maddison comes back over with Jessica and he's taking forever."

"He was literally just sleeping." I panted slightly, heaving the basket back into my arms.

"No, he wasn't." She argued, hovering on my heels as I struggled up the stairs.

"I just covered him up, Laur." I mumbled, sighing in relief when I got to the top.

I breathed deeply, pushing the basket across the wooden floor as I entered back into the kitchen. I cleared my throat, leaving the basket beside the basement door before shutting it once Lauren moved out of the way.

"Then he was sleep walking." She shrugged, scratching her messy bun. "He left the couch like twenty minutes ago when you went in the basement."

I frowned, slowly edging my way towards the family room. I peeked my head in, finding the rainbow fleece blanket I just used to cover Alex up a while ago hanging over the arm of the sectional. I pushed my lips together, placing my hands over my hips in thought.

"Okay." I shrugged, turning back towards Lauren. "I'll go tell him to get out."

"Hurry. I need to wash my hair like, asap." She reasoned, nudging my back as I passed her.

I rolled my eyes lightly, making my way towards the steps a little faster than usual so she wouldn't yell after me. Sighing, I jogged up the steps and turned into the hall. The sound of the water running instantly filled my ears and I sighed, pulling my leggings up higher on my hips. Walking down the hall, I stopped beside my open door and glanced inside slowly. My eyes immediately fell on a familiar green bookbag standing out on top of the unmade bed and I felt my heart sink into my stomach as a strange feeling of déjà vu hit me. Rushing inside, I grabbed it and pulled apart the unzipped portion. Relief washed over me when I found the grey inside empty and I dropped it back to the floor with a light laugh.

“He got rid of it all.” I reminded myself, shaking my head.

Guilt swirled in the pit of my gut at my suspicions and I frowned, stalking back out into the hall with an uneasy feeling still remaining in my gut.

"I still hear the shower on!"

I jumped, wincing at the ringing in my ears from the loud echo of her yell up the stairs.

"I'm going!" I called, rolling my eyes as I stopped in front of the bathroom door.

I knocked twice, pressing my ear against the door lightly. The water continued hitting the bottom of the tub in loud spurts and I sighed, knocking another few times. I bit my lip and shook off the guilt from a few seconds ago before twisting the loose doorknob easily.

"Alex." I called, pushing the door open.

Steam rushed into my face, making me cough and wave my hand while I stepped inside. I held my hand over my mouth for a few seconds to calm my coughing down and closed the door behind me loudly.

"Alex?" I repeated, catching sight of the way the curtain was pulled back almost halfway.

I closed my mouth, dropping my gaze down out of instinct. Skinny jean clad legs hanging over the tub met my wide eyes and I choked out a gasp, shooting forward towards him. I dropped to my knees in panic, yanking the curtain open more with my heart in my throat.

"Alex!" I hissed, tears clouding my vision when I found him slumped on his back. “Alex, oh my God.”

I sniffled, watching the water run over his bare side before my blurry vision froze on his arm. I lifted my right hand to my mouth, using my left to slap his shin as hard as I could manage while I stifled my sounds the best I could. Blinking hard, I hiccupped and wiped at my eyes before I leaned into the tub to brush his wet hair back from his face.

“Alex, wake up.” I pleaded, patting his wet cheek.

I leaned over him, unable to keep the sob from making its way out when the whites of his eyes became slightly visible. My chest burned painfully while I moved both of my hands to his arms. Shaking him roughly, my fingers slipped over something hard and I squeezed my eyes shut.

“No no no.” I cried, reluctantly opening my eyes again to see the yellow elastic tied around his forearm.

I pressed my lips together firmly, closing my eyes tightly when my stomach churned. I held my hand over my mouth briefly, swallowing down the nausea forming from the sight in front of me before I wrapped my hands around his limp wrist.

“Lauren! Call nine-one-one!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, pressing into his low pulse harder. “I should’ve known. I knew you wouldn’t be okay by yourself!”

I hiccupped loudly, moving to get ore into the tub to pull him up. I hit the tub, hissing and shooting back in shock as I tightened my grip on his hand. Breathing heavily, I tried to calm my rapid heart and look down to what stopped me from leaning over the tub. I blinked hard, barely able to clear my vision long enough before I was sobbing my eyes out again.

“How could you do this to us?” I cried, moving my left hand to my bulging stomach.

“Jack! Come on, let’s get out of the way.” Mom said, suddenly beside me and grabbing my arm. “The paramedics are here, baby. He’ll be okay.”

I whimpered, watching in slow motion as I was pulled into Lauren’s open bedroom door while people rushed through the hallway and into the bathroom.

“Jack, you need to sit down.” Lauren suggested.

“I need to go!” I yelled, jumping forward only to get my arms yanked back.

I spun around, my quivering lips opening when Dad faced me with stern eyes.

“You’re eight months pregnant, Jack.” He told softly. “You need to sit down and calm yourself down the best you can. Alex is getting the help he needs now-”

I froze, hearing his voice get even more quiet once I looked down.

“I told you he doesn’t love you!”

“Jack.”

I gasped, prying my burning eyes open as my body shook lightly. I choked out a whimper, barely registering the water pouring down my cheeks while my hands flew to the hem of my shirt. I yanked it up, blinking hard before I stared over my small bump. I heaved a sigh of relief at the reassurance that it was all just a dream. I’m not really eight months pregnant and Alex didn’t overdose on heroin.

“You’re okay, baby.”

I breathed in shakily, ignoring the uneven heaving of my chest while my eyes shot over to find Alex leaning over me.

“Alex!” I exclaimed breathlessly, reaching for his neck and tugging him down.

“Sh!” He whispered, flailing to catch himself after I pulled him. “You’re gonna get my ass beat yellin’ like that.”

I sniffled, feeling instant comfort with his body half-pressed against mine. I sucked in a few deep breaths, keeping my hands along the back of his neck while my fingers ran through the hair they could reach. He pulled away from me after another minute or so and I frowned, squinting through the darkness to make out his figure moving over his side of the mattress.

“Wha’s wrong, baby?” He asked quietly, slipping his arm under my head.

I hummed, rolling over until my head rested comfortably over his shoulder. Breathing him in, I draped my left arm over his chest and traced my fingers over his heart softly. I sniffled, feeling my body still jerk with hiccups from the fresh memories of the nightmare remaining in the back of my mind.

“I heard you crying for me through the vents.” He continued softly, running his hand along my side comfortingly. “Not the kind of cryin’ I like.”

I tried to smile a little, closing my eyes when they filled with more water. Just rethinking the horrible dream has me on edge and I can feel the nerves flipping around my stomach even though I know he’s not been using.

“You’re still cryin’, sweetheart.” He observed, bringing his right hand up to swipe the wetness from my cheek.

“Bad dream.” I murmured, hating the way my voice came out pathetically.

I cleared my throat, lifting my leg over his thighs as I scooted more into him. I nuzzled my face into his neck and tried to ignore the way he tensed up against me at my words. Sniffling once more, I pressed a dry kiss to where his neck met his jaw and snuggled back into him softly.

“I got you.” He whispered, kissing my head while his hand continued running up and down my side. “You’re okay, baby.”

I nodded, relaxing against him. He rested his right hand over my knee and rubbed soothing circles into the joint, making a small smile graze my lips despite my uneasy feelings leftover from the vivid dream.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, tensing underneath me again. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“You didn’t do anything.” I croaked, stopping my fingers from moving along his chest.

“I did though. I got involved in that shit when I was younger.” He sighed, clutching my hip. “If I wasn’t so fucked up, you wouldn’t be having nightmares about me.”

“It wasn’t a nightmare.” I defended softly, biting my lip. “And you’re not fucked up.”

“You were crying in your sleep, Jay.” He reminded. “You kept saying Alex no and how could you do this to me. I know what you were dreaming about and I wish I could turn back time so you would never see something like that in your mind.”

“You can’t change the past, but you can change the future.” I whispered. “I want to forget about it, okay? I’m just a little nervous about this not sleeping together thing and I’m sorry about that, but I can’t help it.”

“You don’t have to apologize for not trusting me.” He spoke calmly. “I told you I wouldn’t do it again after you came and found me-”

“I don’t want to think about that.” I interrupted, guilt creeping into my gut once I stopped his venting. “I’m sorry. I just can’t handle remembering that right now.”

“I’m sorry.” He repeated, making my frown deepen.

I shook my head lightly against him and let out a soft puff of air. I kept my eyes closed, listening to him breathe silently while I forced the memories to the back of my mind. Thinking back to that will suck me into another nightmare. I have no doubts that I was already thinking about it in the back of my mind when I fell asleep and I can almost guarantee it’s why I dreamt what I did. That along with the fact that Mom’s angry lecture seemed to be stuck in the back of my head. The dream had a déjà vu vibe for a reason.

“Everything inside, it never comes out right and when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.” He sang softly, holding me close. “I’m sorry I’m bad. I’m sorry you’re blue. I’m sorry ‘bout all the things I’ve done to you and I know I can’t take them back.”

Goosebumps rose up my arms at the sound of his raw voice so quiet as it sunk into my eardrums. I bit my quivering lip, breathing in deeply as fresh tears burned the corners of my eyes from the way the words rolled off of his tongue so sincerely.

“I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round and I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” He continued, his soft lips brushing against my forehead. “Every single day, I think about how we came all this way. The sleepless nights and the tears you cried, it’s never too late to make it right.”

I sniffed, clenching my fist lightly over his chest while I closed my eyes tightly. Tears slipped from the corners of my eyes and down onto his chest, making my face heat up even more than it was while his hand kept rubbing my side comfortingly. The words kept filling my ears and the tears came faster because this particular song is bringing back so much I’ve blocked out the past few months, but he didn’t stop.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry, baby.” He stopped abruptly, moving his right hand up to brush my bangs away before he pressed another soft kiss to my forehead. “I’m sorry.”

I nodded into his shoulder, sucking in a shaky breath while my emotions continued to go ape-shit.

“I’m sorry for putting you through all of this shit.” He whispered, barely coherent.

“I forgive you.” I forced out through a slow exhale. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He repeated, making my heart swell. “Stop cryin’ now, okay? I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”

“Okay.” I agreed, smiling small when his hand brushed the drying tears from my face again.

“Happy dreams.” He told, patting my hip before slipping his fingers in the waistband of my boxers. “Or sexy ones.”

I giggled, feeling ten times lighter than when I woke up. Shaking the memories from my mind, I pictured this moment in my head and got comfortable against his side before relaxing the best I could. The light weight of his arms around me gave me a strong feeling of comfort mixed with his familiar smell and it felt like only seconds passed until my eyes felt weighed down by one hundred pounds.

“I swear I’m never going to hurt you again.”

Notes

YOU GUYS IM SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG. I’m also sorry that this chapter kind of jumps all over the place, but it had to be a filler because I originally wrote the chapter of the bonfire and stuff happening. I felt like I needed to give some kind of filler before I posted a happy party happening…or will it all be happy? LOL just giving you guys some suspense or mystery to look forward to.

Thank you for your patience and I hope you still enjoy this chapter!

By the way, I’m sorry if there is confusion about Jack’s nightmare but I wanted to make it seem like it was real in Jack’s mind and I guess make it real for everyone else so I didn’t want to put it in italics and give away that it was a dream.

Love y’all!!