The Nights We Felt Alive

Rolling around in my bed, I groaned in my half-asleep state, drenched in my own sweat and unable to get comfortable. The heat was unrelenting and the light flooding the bus was harsh and intrusive. "Why's it so fucking hot?!" I growled loudly, not particularly looking for an answer, but I could hear the boys already up and walking around, so I knew they had heard me.

"It's like 98 degrees," I heard Carter explain from the front lounge.

I pulled back my bunk's curtain and peered out to him, a look of pure terror on my face. He was sat skimming a newspaper with his legs overlapping – looking very sophisticated in his reading glasses. Beside him sat Alex Gaskarth, who was looking across the room at whoever and laughing; his eyes lit up as he listened to whoever was speaking. "Celsius?!" I gasped, my eyes wide as I looked over at Carter, referring to the answer he had just given me. It was far too early for me to process things properly.

Carter slowly peered up from his paper and looked at me very perplexed, his brows furrowing at my stupidity. Alex mimicked his look but I kept my eyes on Carter, ignoring Alex's existence. "Fahrenheit!" Alex yelled, his brows raised at me, shocked.

I rolled my eyes, still avoiding eye contact with him. "You Americans and your inability to grasp the Metric System," I grumbled under my breath before flipping over and attempting to go back to sleep.

I heard a few chuckles at my comment and Alex tsking. "Char, you might as well get up!" Ben yelled from the front lounge, "We have a set later!"

"But I'm so tired..." I murmured, my voice childlike as I spoke.

I heard Alex's notorious chuckle approach me and stop in front of my bunk; his body casting shade on me as he leaned against the wall and smirked down at me. "As someone who's been up since 6 AM, I can guarantee that you aren't that tired."

I turned to glower up at him. "I don't remember asking..." I hissed. "Oh, and also TEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I called out for T, elongating the sound.

Emmet appeared beside Alex, looking completely uninterested and slightly irritated. "What?"

"Do you remember when Lacey Jenkins cheated on you and I punched her in the face?" I reminded him and he sighed, nodding. "Well, you still owe me, so do me a favour and get this dickhead away from me!" I practically demanded, pointing at Alex but still avoiding his eyes.

Alex laughed as Emmet shook his head. "Dude, you must've cashed that favour in like 10 times already, you can't keep using it," he mumbled, rolling his eyes. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You dated a girl named Lacey? Damn, that's a stripper name if I ever heard one! Nice!" Alex exclaimed, high-fiving Emmet who now had a grin on his face.

"Yeah, well maybe she was a whore with other guys, but not with me." The pair snickered and I grimaced.

I shot a look at Emmet and then to Alex. "He doesn't..." I looked back at Emmet, "You don't speak like that... since when do you..." I glared back at Alex, "What have you done to him?"

Emmet chuckled and leaned into my bunk, planting a kiss on my cheek, "Sorry, mam," he joked and dragged Alex back to the front lounge with him.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes as I sat up, reluctant to get my day started. It was our last show in California and we'd be heading for the next state tomorrow. I had already been told multiple times that there was going to be a beach party tonight to celebrate and I was dreading it. It was bad enough that Alex was now hanging around whilst sober, I didn't need to be near him when we were both drunk.

"Hey, Char, why was your bra in the shower this morning?" Adam asked, appearing from the bathroom with just a towel around his waist and my black bra dangling from his fingertips as if it were contaminated.

I felt my eyes widen as I quickly got to my feet, snatched it from him and swiftly buried it into a bag of my stuff. Obviously, during our escapades last night Alex and I had forgotten he had thrown my bra behind him, and evidently it had landed in the shower. "Sorry," I mumbled, keeping my head down as I brushed past a very bemused Adam and made my way to the bathroom to shower. I could hear Alex chuckling to himself and it just embarrassed me further.

"That was weird..." I heard Adam murmur behind the door.

"Super weird," Alex agreed, the amusement in his voice only evident to me as I rolled my eyes and climbed into the shower.

When I reappeared from the bathroom in just a towel, I could hear all of the boys playing games in the back lounge. I sighed with relief, figuring I could avoid Alex for at least a few seconds as I grabbed some clothes to change into, but, of course, that wasn't the case.

"Oh, sorry," he muttered as he almost bumped into me, but as he took a step back and took me in, his genuine expression transformed to smug arrogance. Licking his lips, he hooked his index finger into the top of my towel and peered down at the mark he had left on my right breast; a complacent smirk on his face.

I quickly threw my arms over my chest, covering myself whilst forcefully removing his hand from me; a look of disgust on my face as he continued to smirk at me. "What the fuck?" I snarled, keeping my voice low so as to not grab the attention of anyone else on the bus. I leant down and grabbed some articles of clothing from beneath my bunk. "Don't fucking touch me..." I held his eyes for a couple of seconds, my own blue orbs filled with anger as his remained fairly amused.

"I wanna kiss you so badly right now..." he hissed back through gritted teeth, his tone both annoyed and turned on. At that moment, before I could react, a few of the other boys walked through into the hallway, stopping when they noticed us.

"Do you fucking live here now?" I half-yelled as I stormed back to the bathroom to get dressed. I was angry with him constantly being around, but I also felt like I was just trying to keep up this whole I-hate-Alex act. I did hate him, so it wasn't necessarily an act, but I just wanted to ensure the boys knew how much I hated him, so I often over-exaggerated my anger.

"I think it's a bit early for us to be moving in together, babe," Alex teasingly called after me, earning a few chuckles from the other boys. I turned and pulled a face at him as I shut the door; a cheeky grin on his own lips.

After our set I was immediately engulfed in a hug from Victoria Asher as she praised our performance. The boys thanked her before making their way back to the bus to prepare for the beach party tonight, whilst Victoria and I continued to chat. "Hey..." a pretty brunette girl joined us and upon seeing her, Victoria grabbed her and squeezed her tight.

"Oh my god! Meghan! Hey girl!" she pulled away, grinning, before turning to me. "Charlie, this is Meghan, she's a tour buddy!" Victoria explained. 'Tour buddy' was a term that everyone at Warped used, it basically meant that they were fans who came to Warped every year and had slowly became friends with everyone. I had already met plenty of these tour buddies and they all seemed so lovely.

Meghan giggled and pulled me into a hug, which I wasn't expecting but I hugged back regardless. "Hey, I just watched your set, it was awesome!" she exclaimed. I thanked her with a smile, before she turned her attention back to Victoria. "I heard there's gonna be a party tonight," she giggled, her voice giddy like an excited toddler.

"Oh, yeah! Please say you're coming!" Victoria gushed, grabbing the other girl's arm.

Meghan nodded frantically, "Of course! You know I never miss a party! Especially if there's boys!" she giggled again.

"Oh, you know there's gonna be boys," Victoria laughed, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. The whole conversation was a little lost on me, but I didn't want to seem rude by just walking away so I stood and endured it, my arms folded and my eyes wandering.

"So, have you got your eye on anyone?" the brunette asked, hers eyes now on me.

I cleared my throat a little, my palms suddenly sweaty. "Uh... no," I answered with a small smile, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"What? But you're gorgeous! What about... him?!" she had scoped the area and spotted Dan Flint; he was walking around drumming the air with his sticks, mumbling to himself, preparing for his set which was right after ours. I laughed and shook my head; Dan was very attractive, but it's hard to look at someone in a sexual way after you've seen them down half a litre of Vodka in under a minute and then vomit on them self. "Okay..." she breathed, looking around some more, as if finding me a man was her new challenge. "What about... Oooh!" she exclaimed as she spotted someone. "Gabe!" she pointed over at Gabe Saporta, who caught us all looking and waved, looking rather suspicious of us clearly speaking about him.

"Ewwww," Victoria cringed; Gabe being like an older brother to her.

"Yeah, yeah, Vic, he's hot to the rest of us," Meghan joked, nudging me and I forced a laugh.

"Ohhhh... what about him?" she breathed, pointing over at none other but my brother Ben, who was leaned against our bus speaking with Jack Barakat and looking at him like he was truly in love. "He's in your band, right?" she looked at me and I let out a loud snort laugh, covering my face.

"That's her brother!" Victoria laughed and Meghan went a little red.

"Oh, wow, sorry," she giggled, "he's really hot, though..." she trailed off, looking at Ben and I grimaced – all I saw was a lame idiot who looked a little like me, staring at a fully grown man like he wanted to kiss him. "Actually, all of the guys in your band are super hot!" she exclaimed, looking at me now. "What's your drummer called? With the long hair?" she rolled her eyes back and groaned to show how attractive she found him.

I gulped, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. I knew the boys in my band were attractive, including my brother (though I would never admit it to his face), but hearing other women talk about them just made me feel strange; they were like children, especially Emmet. "Uh... Emmet," I answered reluctantly.

"Wow... very sophisticated and smart sounding," she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows at Victoria. "Too bad I can't make a move tonight..." she laughed and I wanted to throw up. I was super protective of my boys, but more so of Emmet than any of them – he was the youngest, the most naive and he had been treat like shit by too many girls in the past.

"Why can't you?" Victoria asked, furrowing her eyebrows, but then her face changed as she realised something. "Ohhh, right, Alex," she nodded and Meghan pulled her a face like it should have been obvious.

"Uh... what?" I asked before I could even register I was speaking. She couldn't make a move on someone because of Alex? What the fuck does that mean? Upon me asking that question I saw Alex approach us, a smirk on his face as his eyes locked with mine. As he got closer he seemed to realise who the brunette we were speaking to was and his eyes widened as he quickly changed directions.

"Oh, look, there he is!" Victoria exclaimed, causing Meghan to turn around and notice him; his face dropped.

"Alex!" Meghan exclaimed, a huge grin on her face as the boy slowly turned to us, a fake smile plastered across his face, but his eyes swirled with unwilling.

"Heeey," he chirped, his voice not quite enthusiastic enough to seem genuine, but they bought it regardless. Meghan wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace and he patted her back lightly, looking very uneasy; his eyes avoiding mine at all costs.

"Are you excited for the party tonight?" she asked, grinning up at him.

He laughed nervously and looked at Victoria, "Yeah, it's gonna be great fun..." he gulped.

"Okay, well, I gotta go, byeee..." she sung, reaching up to peck Alex's cheek, before hugging Victoria, giving me a small wave and disappearing.

Victoria laughed, looking at me, "Men, huh?" she nodded her head towards Alex. "This one has a different girl in every state thinking they're special..." she gave him a look, but it was obvious she was still messing around.

"Not... not every state," Alex defended, rubbing at the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"Well..." I breathed, looking at him as he avoided my gaze. "That's fucking gross," I spat and I could sense my words ripping through the jokey atmosphere.

Alex finally looked at me, his eyes blank. "You're right, it is..." he breathed, nodding; looking very unsure and worried. Victoria cleared her throat, not expecting her joke to fall flat like it had, and not expecting my reaction.

"Boys will be boys, I suppose," I muttered through gritted teeth, faking a smile to Victoria, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Uh... yeah, anyway, I'm gonna go," Victoria spieled off, hugging me tight and giving Alex a confused look before walking away.

"Boys will be boys?" Alex questioned, his brows crinkling together as a small smirk formed at his lips, mocking me.

"Well... boys will be boys, misogynistic pigs will degrade and use women for their own sexual pleasure and gain... potato, potahto," I reeled off with a shrug; using the old phrase sarcastically to assure him what I really meant by 'boys will be boys'.

"Nobody says potahto..." he muttered, looking down as he continued to try to make me laugh.

"Yeah, and nobody says misogynistic pigs will degrade and use women for their own sexual pleasure and gain either, but whatever..." I murmured, folding my arms over my chest, watching his downcast eyes. I wasn't even really jealous, I was just grossed out.

He finally looked up at me, licking his lips with worry. "Obviously I'm not going to sleep with her..." he kept his voice low to reduce the chances of someone overhearing us.

"What?" I asked, narrowing my eyes in confusion. "Why not?"

He copied my expression; bemused himself. "What do you mean why not?" he asked, like I was being ludicrous.

"Why would you not sleep with her?"

"Why would I?" he raised his voice now, seemingly irritated with me.

"Well, why wouldn't you? She's hot, she's nice, she clearly likes you, you obviously sleep with her every other time you're in Cali, so what makes this time so different?" I shot back, not concerned with people hearing me.

"Stop yelling..." he hissed, grabbing my arm and yanking me into the shade of a tour bus, out of immediate eyesight. I yanked my arm free and folded them over my chest again, glowering up at him. "I wouldn't do that... because of... you know..." he gestured at the air between us, his eyes desperate for me to read between his lines.

"What?!" I yelled, my eyes wide. He pulled a face of annoyance at my volume and so I lowered it a little. "There is no -" I mimicked his gesture, "this -" I repeated it, "is nothing... absolutely nothing!" I threw my hands up in exasperation. This was my worst nightmare; I had no feelings towards Alex and I knew he had none for me, so why was he going to act any different just because I was around? It made no sense.

"Oh, so you won't get annoyed and jealous if I fuck Meghan tonight?" he asked, challenging me.

His wording of the question was a little hard for me to swallow, but I shook my head vigorously. "No! In fact I would be more annoyed if you didn't fuck her, just because of me!" I gulped, my heart racing. I didn't know why I was getting so worked up over this, but it scared me; the thought of Alex taking my feelings into account was dangerous.

"Okay..." he shrugged, nonchalant, "Fine... I'll fuck her," he breathed and I gulped hard.

"Okay, good..." I averted my gaze a little, my heart feeling heavy in my chest. "You fuck who you want, and I'll fuck who I want..." I bobbed my head in approval of our plan.

Alex's eyes lit on fire as I spoke the last sentence, his whole face tightening and his jaw locking place. "Fine..." he managed to say through gritted teeth.

"Fine..." I repeated weakly. I took one last look at him before I stormed away, feeling even less certain about our situation than before.

The California beach at night was incredible. The sun was just setting; the pinky orange tones of the sky melting together, as the sun cast long shadows across the beach. A couple of people had already set up camp-fires and were roasting marshmallows as they sang a couple of tunes; Jared Monaco strumming lazily at his acoustic guitar, swaying to the rhythm he was playing.

I made myself comfortable on a sun lounger, planning on sleeping more than anything else. The rest of the boys quickly found the booze and got to work getting themselves into embarrassing states. I knew Alex was on the opposite side of the beach to me with Meghan and I could feel his eyes burning into me, but I refused to even look in his direction; I refused to give in.

After a good hour of sleep, I felt a large amount of freezing cold salt water being tipped over me. I shrieked and jumped to my feet; a chorus of laughter from the people around me as John looked at me with a devilish grin, a now empty bucket in his hands. "Oops..." he mumbled, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

I couldn't help but laugh as I playfully slapped his arms and shoved him away. "You dick!" I called out, earning more chuckles as I rung out my now drenched hair. John couldn't stop giggling as he watched me and I shook my head. "Okay... you asked for it!" I announced, darting towards him. His eyes widened and he immediately took off running towards the sea as I chased him. He tumbled into the cold water and, without thinking, I ran in after him, climbing on his back and successfully submerging his whole body in the freezing ocean. "Oh shit! That's cold!" I yelled, removing myself from him and making my way back onto land, shivering hard.

John laughed, spluttering as he flailed around in the mass of blue stretching out behind him. His skin turned a shade of pink, but he continued to try and play it cool. "It's n-n-nice..." he stammered, his teeth chattering. I laughed loudly as Rian appeared behind me and handed me a warm towel.

"Oh my god," I giggled, wrapping my body in the warm fabric, "thank you!" I smiled at him and he laughed, wrapping an arm around me as we watched John struggle. "Hmmm, sooo warm," I teased him, hugging both Rian and the towel closer to me.

"Okay, fuck you!" John exclaimed, charging out of the ocean and grabbing Rian in a tight hug. Rian immediately pushed the lanky boy away. "What? You hugged her!" John accused, mock-shocked at Rian's rejection. I laughed as the boys continued to tease eachother, before turning and making my way back to my lounger. I could feel eyes watching me, people laughing at the events that had just unfolded, but a pair of eye in particular were burning a hole in my skull with sheer anger. I gulped and ignored it, lying back down and attempting to go back to sleep.

"Uh... hey!" I heard a voice shortly after I had just managed to doze off. When I opened my eyes it was fairly dark out and the boys were no longer beside me, they were off dancing and partying. My eyes met Alex's; he was knelt down beside my lounger. "Hey..." he repeated once my eyes were open, "can we talk? like... over there?" he gestured to a more secluded area behind a wall.

I was a little too sleepy to process what he was asking and so when he got up to leave, I just followed him without questioning it. "What do you want?" I asked once we were shielded by the wall, rubbing my eyes a little. I met his chocolate orbs and they were hard, emotionless as he watched me. I raised an eyebrow, concerned by his lack of answers.

Hurriedly, he grabbed the sides of my face and pinned my back to the wall, kissing me quick and fast. Again, I had absolutely no say, his tongue was in my mouth before I could even register what was happening, but I kissed back anyway. Quickly, I tangled my fingers into his hair and entwined my tongue with his, immediately breathless – the kiss practically knocking the air out of me. "I just really had to taste you..." he muttered against my lips, pulling away to gasp for air. I hummed into his mouth, not certain of what to say but all I knew was that I agreed.

He stepped back from me, his eyes heavy with emotions I couldn't read, but the rest of his face was hard. I gulped, looking away from him as I caught my breath. "You should get back to your date..." I murmured.

"What?" he responded immediately, confused.

"Meghan," I reminded him and he nodded knowingly.

"Right... Meghan..." He let out a deep breath. "I'm gonna go back to Meghan..." he seemed to be convincing himself more than me. "... and you're gonna go back to... John, right?" he spat John's name out of his mouth, raising his eyebrows as if to seem disinterested.

"John... or whoever..." I listed with a shrug.

"Right," he gulped, "okay..." he exhaled again, his eyes softening as he looked at me, "right..." he repeated, "I'm gonna go... because that's... that's what we discussed."

"Yep, you can sleep with whoever and I can sleep with whoever," I nodded, glancing down at my feet.

"Okay..." he breathed again, taking one last look at me before walking away. I waited a couple of minutes to follow suit and rejoin the party myself.

Once I got back to my sun lounger the boys were back to their seats around mine – along with a few other guys, drinking and chuckling. I took my seat and lied back down, closing my eyes and trying my best to pretend that whatever had just happened was in fact a dream, or a nightmare.

"Damnnnnn..." Carter breathed. I opened one eye to peer at him and investigate what he was referring to. "Who is that girl Alex is with?!" he exclaimed. All of the boys jumped up to follow Carter's gaze and began reciting their common male lines such as 'she could get it', 'fuck me she's fit' and the classic 'oh my god she's banging, mate'.

I rolled my eyes but took a look over myself; she was wearing a black bikini at least two sizes too small and was dragging Alex by the hand back towards the parking lot. I felt a pang in my chest, but I ignored it and closed my eyes again.

"Where are they going?" Adam chuckled. "OI OI GASKARTH!" he yelled to the older man across the beach and I could hear pretty much everyone at the party laughing as I kept my eyes tightly shut, feeling like steam was coming out of my ears. I had no idea why I felt like this; this was what I wanted! I wanted him to go and do regular Alex things, I didn't want him around me and bothering me, I didn't want to continue whatever we were, but it still felt strange knowing he was going to have sex with someone whilst I just sat about and listened to a bunch of guys talk about how good looking this girl was.

"Oh, shit, Char! I forgot my jacket, do you mind?" Jenson asked, pulling puppy dog eyes at me. We had pretty much just came back from the party but I was already in my pyjamas – just a baggy, flannel shirt and some underwear, as well as my glasses and staple fluffy slippers.

"Urgh," I groaned. I had absolutely no want to trek back to the beach just to get his jacket, but the rest of the boys were busy in the back room and he was just about to hop into the shower. "Fine..." I breathed and he wrapped an arm around me, thanking me as he slobbered on my cheek and jumped into the bathroom. I rolled my eyes and stepped out into the cold, night air. I probably should have changed, but California nights were just cold enough that it was refreshing, but still hot enough that you couldn't sleep.

"Charlie..." I heard a voice behind me, low and raspy. I turned to look at Alex, my face completely blank of any expression. I had nothing to say to him; I was still in the process of calming down from the situation, despite it being something I had no right to be angry about. "Can I speak to you, please?" he asked meekly, looking nervous.

"No," I muttered, turning back and heading towards the beach.

He ran after me and grabbed my arm, spinning me to face him. "Woah... are you mad at me?" he furrowed his brows perplexed. He had every right to question me but I couldn't think logically, I was too irate.

"Shouldn't you be busy fucking that slut?" I spat; regretting the words as soon as I had said them. I had never called another girl a slut before in my life and it really hurt to do so, especially since she didn't deserve it, but I wasn't going to give in and apologise so I just turned around and tried to storm away again.

"Woah! What the fuck?" Alex hissed, grabbing my arm again. "Are you being serious?" his eyes were swimming with anger and confusion. "You're the one who fucking told me to "fuck that slut"!" he exclaimed, quotations around the awful phrase I had used. "Maybe, just maybe, if you weren't such a fucking uptight bitch, guys like me wouldn't go for "sluts"," he spat. I hadn't expected him to get so angry so quickly, but clearly I had hit a nerve with what I had said. I gulped, not really knowing how to retaliate. "She may be a slut in your opinion, but at least she's not a rude bitch!" he shook his head, narrowing his eyes at me before turning away. "Oh, and for the record..." he began, turning to face me as he remembered something, "I didn't sleep with her, that's what I was coming to tell you!" Now he turned and walked away.

Everything he had said resonated with me and it had really hurt, but in a way I kind of deserved it. Most of what he said had completely left my mind as soon as he'd spoke the last sentence. I ran after him. "What?!" I yelled. He turned to face me, still pissed off. "You didn't sleep with her?"

"What? You're mad I didn't sleep with her now? Can I fucking win with you?" he yelled back, stepping closer to me.

"Why didn't you sleep with her?" I asked through gritted teeth, looking up at him with annoyance in my eyes.

He stepped even closer, "Are you fucking serious?" he hissed at me.

"Why. Didn't. You. Sleep. With. Her?" I demanded, moving my face even closer to his as I spat every word out through my teeth.

For the millionth time it felt, Alex grabbed me by the waist and hitched me up onto him, enveloping my mouth in an ambush of kisses. I gasped into his mouth as my hands snaked around his neck and I slowly gained the energy to kiss him back. He kissed me like he was on a mission; his tongue taking control of my mouth with force and anger – it was hard to keep up but I was trying. I had barely even noticed that we were just stood in the middle of the parking lot, anybody walking by would easily spot us. Apparently, though, Alex had realised this and he began moving hurriedly, not breaking the kiss.

"Where are we going?" I asked, breathless between kisses.

"My bus," he said confidently, quickly attaching our mouths again.

"What?" I murmured, doing my best to protest but I didn't actually want to argue this, I wanted to go to his bus. He struggled a little with the door and with climbing inside, but once we made it he flicked on the lights and made his way inside. It quickly occurred to me that no one else was here. "Where is everyone?" I asked as he threw me down on a couch in the front lounge, quickly covering my body with his as he began to unbutton his shirt.

"Getting food," he spoke like a caveman, like his mind couldn't process what we were doing and also the usage of determiners at the same time. He latched his mouth onto my neck and I threw my head back, moaning. He threw his shirt across the room and began unbuttoning my own, revealing just my panties underneath, his mouth moving south the whole time. Balling my shirt in his fist, he grabbed me again, lifting me and carrying me over to his bunk where he laid me down and threw my shirt down the bottom.

I reached up and grabbed the sides of his face, pulling him onto me and kissing him hard. He deepened it and ran his tongue along my bottom lip before piercing it with his teeth, chuckling. I shrieked and slapped his bare back. "Sorry..." he murmured, his voice gruff and laced with lust. I reached for his belt and began to fiddle with it, my fingers sliding around and fumbling. He laughed and brushed my hands away, continuing to kiss me as he removed his pants. "Are you sure?" he mumbled between kisses, trailing down my neck and over my collarbones. One of his hands reached up to massage the breast he had mauled just the day before. I was surprised he even asked if I was sure, he never usually seemed to care.

I hummed, indicating that yes, I was sure and he made quick work of removing my underwear. I felt his fingers rub me gently and I groaned loudly at just his fingers grazing me. It felt like static between us, like every time we touched it shocked and numbed me, but it enticed me for more. "Fuck..." he groaned and I let out a soft giggle at the familiar sound. I felt him line himself up with me, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead as he thrust into me. Instinctively, I gasped, not expecting his length and girth. My eyes shot open and met his, which were gleaming with amusement and a hint of pride at me response. He covered my lips with his as he slowly pulled out and thrust back into me, hard.

I gasped again, squeezing my eyes shut in both pain and pleasure. "Are you okay?" he breathed into my mouth, genuine concern in his tone. I gulped a little and nodded. He picked up his speed ever so slightly and I wrapped my arms around his back, digging my finger nails into him as I arched my back. It felt like a spring was being coiled tight in the pits of my stomach as he continued to grind his hips against mine; grunting as he did so.

His thrusts became sloppier and my moaning became louder. My legs began to buckle as I drew blood from Alex's back. I felt the spring in my abdomen quickly come undone as my orgasm rippled over me; the world stuttering on it's axis for a second. Alex shortly followed suit, letting out a loud sigh as he collapsed in a heap beside me, a lazy grin on his face as he tucked me under his arm and pulled me into him.

For a while we just laid there, not speaking a word. I had nothing to say, I was shocked by everything that had just happened. All I was certain of was that this had complicated things even further.

"Charlie?" he muttered after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Hmm?" I responded.

"Are you asleep?"

"Yes," I retorted instantly, deadpan.

He chuckled and took a deep breath, "That was the best sex I've ever had..." he admitted, his voice hoarse and gruff. I laughed a little, but nodded in agreement. It was; it was amazing, and I wished so bad that it had been horrible, but it was incredible.

"Alex?!" I heard Rian yell, a bunch of noise following him as the boys all climbed onto the bus. I looked up at Alex with wide eyes and he returned the exact same look to me.

"Uh... I'm in bed!" he announced from behind his curtain.

"Oh, okay! Is Meghan here?" Matt asked. I growled a little at the mention of her name and Alex suppressed a chuckle.

"No, she left a couple hours ago," he responded.

"You dog!" Jack yelled, "that was quick!" I took a deep breath.

"Nah, nothing happened, we just watched some TV," Alex replied and we heard the boys laugh and 'yeah right' at their friend. "No, seriously," Alex laughed, "Anyway, I'm super tired, night!"

"Night, you dog!" Jack responded and they all laughed, saying a chorus of goodnights.

"I can't stay here..." I hissed quietly at Alex.

"Well... uh... you kinda have to..." he muttered, looking away from me.

I enlarged my eyes at him, "Dude, my brother will be worried sick!" I exclaimed as quietly as I could. This was a lie, Ben wouldn't notice, but at least one of the guys definitely would and then I would be in trouble.

"Okay, okay," Alex breathed, "I'll sneak you out when everyone's asleep."

I didn't know how long it had been, but I had fallen asleep in the time it had taken the rest of the guys to finally get into bed and go to sleep themselves. In my sleepy haze I felt an arm hook under my upper back and another hook into the crook of my legs. I opened my eyes to meet Alex in the dark of their tour bus. "Shhhh," he whispered, carrying me bridal style out of the bus and across the parking lot. I didn't give it much thought and just closed my eyes, leaning into his chest. He smelt like salt water, camp-fire, faded cologne and sweat – it was heavenly.

I heard him open our bus door and step inside. "She fell asleep whilst we were playing video games," he whispered, spieling off a fake story to whoever was waiting up. I could hear Adam and Ben snoring loudly, so I knew it wasn't them.

"Oh thank god, I was getting worried." It was Jenson. I felt Jenson hook his arms under me and take me from Alex, like they were passing a newborn child around. Immediately, my head flopped into Jenson; he smelt like soap and fresh laundry – still nice, but not nearly as intoxicating. "Where's my jacket?" I heard him ask after a long silence. Oh crap, I thought in my half asleep state.

"What jacket?" I heard Alex mutter and Jenson chuckled.

"Nevermind, bro, see ya tomorrow," he chirped as Alex said his goodbyes before leaving. I felt Jenson carry me down the hall and lightly place me in my bunk; he placed a kiss on my forehead and brushed my hair away from my face. "Night, Char, you weirdo," he chuckled before drawing the curtain back on my bunk and finally settling into his own bed.

Notes