THUMP. "Oh shit, ow, what the fuck." A loud thud followed by low grumbles ripped me from my sleep. "Ugh what the fuck was that?" I heard Ben mumble. I rubbed at my eyes and pulled the curtain of my bunk back to assess the situation. Ben was lied face down on the floor of the bus, having clearly fell from his own bed; he was rubbing his forehead in pain but made no attempts to move from his rather uncomfortable looking position. If I hadn't only just opened my eyes, I would be laughing hard at the sight.

"You fell out of your bunk," Carter responded to my brother's rhetorical question with a completely expressionless tone. I glanced towards the front lounge and saw Carter in his usual position; one leg over the other glancing down at a newspaper. Who even reads newspapers anymore?, I thought to myself.

"Thanks," Ben grumbled sarcastically; his face against the hard floor enough of an indicator without Carter's response.

Beside me, Emmet threw back his curtain, his hair splayed all around his face, one eye closed. "What is going on?" he mumbled. His eyes caught sight of Ben on the floor, he chuckled and met my eyes across the small hallway. "What's going on?" he repeated, just to me now; I shrugged in response.

"The bus stopped and Ben fell out of his bunk," Carter answered, his eyes not moving from the paper in his hands.

Ben had finally gotten to his feet and wiped himself down; red marks covering his bare, pale legs and arms from the impact of the fall. "The bus stopped?" he questioned, yawning. I had managed to piece together that clearly we were currently on our way to the next state, but Ben furrowed his brows, perplexed.

"Can you guys shut the fuck up?" Jenson growled from his bunk, the sound of Adam continuing to snore echoing throughout the bus.

"Okay, you guys can go get some food or whatever," Gary, our bus driver, announced as he exited the cockpit of the bus and made his way outside.

"Thank god," Carter grumbled, throwing the paper on the seat beside him and getting to his feet. "I need coffee, and not from that piece of shit," he grumbled, gesturing towards the cheap coffee maker we had brought with us, as he followed Gary out of the bus.

Ben grabbed some clothes and threw them on, clearly intrigued to know where we were and why we would 'go get some food or whatever'. I followed suit and hopped out of my bunk to quickly get dressed. I heard Emmet groan loudly, knowing this meant he also had to get out of bed, as Ben made his way outside.

"WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKERS!" It sounded a lot like Jack Barakat's voice filling our tour bus as my brother opened the door. Ben laughed loudly and closed the door behind him. I laughed and threw on some shorts, becoming a little excited myself to see where we were. It sounded like we were beside a highway, so I figured we were stopping for gas or something, but it was still exciting to know we were closer to the next state and our next show.

Emmet got up and began pestering a very grumpy Jenson, trying to get him out of bed too. "Honestly, fuck off," Jenson growled as Emmet continued to prod his arm with a coat-hanger. "And someone get that dickhead to shut up," he added, grabbing the hanger from Emmet in a swift motion and throwing it across the hall towards Adam's bunk, who's snoring just seemed to be getting louder.

"Huh, what?" Adam spluttered, confused as the flying object sailed into his curtain with quite a lot of force. He pulled back the piece of cloth and immediately his eyes were glaring at Jenson. "What the fuck?"

"Your snoring is fucking ridiculous, mate!" "You don't have to be a dick about it!" "Alright, chill out guys." "Nor, what the fuck?" "Try thinking of other people for once!" "I can't help that I snore, ya idiot!" They continued to argue, their voices, laced with sleep and anger, as they slowly got to their feet and started to get ready for the day ahead. The boys argued a lot, especially when they were grumpy, but none of them would ever lay a finger on another – or anyone, for that matter. I rolled my eyes and made my way outside, allowing Emmet to take my usual role of adjudicator.

We were currently parked at a large gas station, all of the buses lined up as the drivers, including Gary, filled the tanks with fuel. The place was immediately drowning in sweaty, groggy band members all hiding their hangovers beneath beanies and sunglasses. I was suddenly thankful I hadn't drank last night, although maybe if I had I would've forgotten what I actually got up to.

I spotted Ben in the small store, stood in line beside Zack Merrick; one hand on Zack's shoulder and the other holding a sandwich. I wasn't particularly hungry, but I wasn't sure how close we were to our next stop, so I made my way over and entered the small, glass building. The place was freezing cold; the AC cranked as high as it could go, I imagined, but I was thankful, since it seemed like we were in the middle of the desert. "Ben, get me one!" I called out to my brother. He turned and grimaced at me, but fished another sandwich out of the refrigerator before rejoining Zack, who looked wildly uncomfortable to be standing with my obsessive brother.

"Char!" I heard a familiar British voice. I turned and noticed Josh, along with Sean Foreman of 3OH!3 and Ryland Blackinton of Cobra Starship, all sat on the floor of the store, their backs to the clear glass wall. Josh patted the ground beside him; he looked very rough, his head back against the glass like he didn't have the energy to lift it and he was evidently struggling to keep his eyes open. I chuckled and plopped down beside him, flinging my legs out in front of me on the cold, tiled floor. He threw a heavy arm over my shoulders and smiled at me lazily. "I didn't see you much last night," he remarked. Ryland and Sean slipped into their own conversation, the noise of them talking melding with the hectic voices of everyone else around us. I bet this place has never had so much business, I thought.

"Yeah, I wasn't really in the mood," I replied, smiling at him, "but evidently you were," I joked, mocking his clearly hungover state.

He chuckled sarcastically, his head back and against the glass, his eyes completely shut, "Yeah, well I'm not feeling it right now," he groaned. I patted his cheek in mocking comfort, laughing at his pain.

"EYYY GASKARTH!" Sean yelled beside me, his eyes locked on Alex who had just walked into the store. His hair was all dishevelled and he was in yesterdays clothing; he looked rather rough himself although I hadn't noticed him to be that drunk whilst I was with him – maybe he was good at hiding it. Josh's head snapped forward, his eyes darting towards Sean's echoing voice. Sean leaned over me and patted Josh's leg apologetically as Alex made his way towards us, avoiding looking at me. "How did last night go?" Sean asked, his voice laced with intrigue as he wiggled his eyebrows at Alex.I had completely forgot that everyone else was still under the impression that Alex had taken Meghan home with him last night; I gulped and looked down.

"Oh shit!" Josh suddenly seemed much better; his eyes wide and his back straightened. "Yeah, what happened with that lass?" he quizzed.

Alex chuckled, a small smirk playing at his lips. "Nothing," he breathed, but his tone toyed with the idea that he wasn't being completely truthful. I glared down into my lap, confused as to where he was going with this.

"Yeah right!" Ryland scoffed, laughing with the boys around me. Josh chuckled and nudged me in the side, grabbing my attention. I forced a laugh as his eyes were on me but immediately looked back down into my lap, not wanting to be a part of this conversation at all.

"I swear, nothing happened," Alex chuckled, folding his arms across his chest, his voice still unconvincing.

Zack slipped beside the taller man and threw an arm around his shoulder, squeezing him. "Yeah, he claims they "just watched TV"," Zack laughed, air-quoting Alex. Ben slid down the wall and sat between Sean and I, though clearly there wasn't enough room for him, he handed me the sandwich and I thanked him but he was too busy stuffing his own face and watching Alex intently.

"Ey, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," Alex joked, earning some noises from the guys, especially Ben.

"No, but you do!" Sean fired back, the group laughing.

"We had fun, that's all I'll say," Alex chuckled with a smirk on his face, turning away to go get himself something to eat.

"He's so cool," I heard Ben whisper beside me, his attention now on the sandwich in his lap. I let out a groan and made my way back to the bus, my sudden movements startling both Ben and Josh.

What was Alex doing? Was he going to pretend he had slept with Meghan? Or had he actually slept with her but had failed to inform me of that detail? I was very confused, and I couldn't just sit and listen to him get praised for something so pathetic and possibly not even true. For whatever reason, I felt like after last night Alex and I maybe could've been friends – nothing more and nothing less – but this just proved to me that he didn't care about anyone else but himself and his reputation. Last night was a complete mistake; if I could, I would undo it in a heartbeat, and I, just as much as he, wanted it to remain a secret, but that doesn't mean he had to start making up bullshit to cover his tracks.

"Fucking arsehole," I seethed as I slammed the bus door behind me.

"Woah, what's up with you?" Jenson asked, sat sipping coffee in the front lounge. I jumped, not expecting anyone to be back yet. He chuckled at my response, "Sorry, what's up?"

"Nothing..." I breathed, placing my sandwich down on the table, my appetite completely gone.

"Who's an arse?" Jenson pried; he was reading the paper Carter had been, but I imagined most of it's contents were going way over his head.

"Uh..." I struggled to find a good answer, throwing myself down onto the couch opposite him. "Alex..." I sighed, giving up on attempting a cover story; I was far too tired and not in the mood.

Jenson pulled a face, "Why? Did something happen last night?" his tone was completely nonchalant, his eyes glued to the paper.

I immediately sat up straight, my eyes wide, my breath caught in my throat. "What? What do you- what do you mean? N-no. Wh-why would uh... why would anything happen? What?" I stammered, trying my absolute best to remain cool but I knew when Jenson looked up from the paper, his brows furrowed at me, I had failed miserably.

"Uh..." he chuckled, looking at me quizzically, "you guys hung out, right? He said you played video games..." he trailed off, tilting his head at me.

"Ohhh..." I breathed, a wave of relief washing over me. "Oh, uh, yeah, he just keeps... um... making fun of me... 'cause he beat me at Donkey Kong like 3 times..." I gulped, fidgeting in my seat. I was an awful liar, and Jenson was always good at knowing when people were telling the truth or not.

He chuckled, averting his gaze back to the paper, "Oh, shit, you're like the queen of Donkey Kong," he remarked and I let out a fake chuckle before leaving to go into the back room, breathing a sigh of relief that Jenson had bought my story. I hated keeping secrets, but I figured it wouldn't matter much anymore since whatever Alex and I had was going to come to a stop; I was done with it.

By the time we reached Nevada, it was around 9 PM and already pretty dark out. As soon as the buses reached their destinations, people were out in the parking lot setting up beer pong tables and doing keg stands. We said goodbye to Gary, who – along with the other bus drivers – stayed at a local hotel between drives.

"WHO'S READY TO GET WASTED?!" I heard Gabe yell outside – in fact, I'm sure everyone within a 3 mile radius heard him; his voice practically shaking the bus. My brother laughed wildly and skipped out of the front door. You'd think the fangirl affect would wear off after a couple of days, but nope.

"You coming Char?" Emmet asked as Jenson pulled at the younger boy's sleeve, wanting to leave and get drunk already.

"I might stay and look after Adam," I smiled, looking over at the boy who was fast asleep, snoring louder than usual; he had came over with a mild cold and although he didn't really need anyone to look after him, it gave me a good excuse to stay inside.

"Why would you do that?" Carter chuckled, pushing past all of us and making a swift exit, fiddling with the sleeves of his button-down.

I rolled my eyes as the other boys laughed, "Yeah, c'mon, I bet AJ won't even wake up until the morning, ya know what he's like," Emmet chuckled, Jenson still tugging at his wrist.

"I'll come later," I responded, earning a sigh from Emmet but a woop from Jenson as the pair left to join the party.

It wasn't that I didn't want to go, because I did, it was just that I really didn't want to have to listen to everybody praising Alex for being such a hero for not-actually-sleeping with someone. But, after a couple of hours of nothing but the repetitive sound of Adam snoring, I decided that to not show my face would be even more suspicious, and I didn't want Alex to gain any pride from me not turning up.

"Charlie!" Ben came hurdling towards me through the crowd of people; enveloping me in a much too tight hug and lifting me into the air. He only ever showed me affection when he had at least 7 beers in his system, so this was a bad sign. "Guess wha'?" he slurred, grinning at me with his eyes unable to focus. "Me and-and Ja-" he turned to look for whoever he was talking about, but frowned at me once he realised they had left. "...Jack..." he continued, gripping tightly to my shoulder, trying to remain balanced. "We're gonna... erm... OPEN A BAR!" he began yelling, his face all of a sudden excited.

I laughed at his ridiculousness, "Sure, babe," I patted him lightly on the back.

"God..." he hiccuped, following me as I made my way over to a refreshment table to fix myself a drink. "Alex is just... he's so cool, man," he breathed, hiccuping again. I looked up and followed my brother's blurry gaze and saw Alex stood with two blondes under his arms, smirking down at them as they giggled wildly. I narrowed my eyes instinctively, feeling immediately angry at the sight, despite it being none of my business.

"There you are!" Jack bounded over, spilling his drink as he did so, and wrapped an arm around my brother. He winked at me with a smile as the pair tumbled away into the mess of people.

I wasn't entirely sure why Alex talking to other girls bothered me, but something about it caused a lump to form in my throat. Knowing that what Alex and I had shared last night was completely replaceable and regular to him made me feel a little shitty. It wasn't like I had felt that the night we shared was special or anything – it was stupid and dumb – but that didn't mean that I was just going to go around sleeping with anyone, whereas that's what Alex did and does frequently; it doesn't matter who it is, as long as he has someone to sleep with at the end of the night, and knowing that I was just another notch on his bed post made me feel a little sick.

I sipped at my drink, still unknowingly glowering in Alex's direction. He looked up and our eyes met for 0.5 seconds, before he quickly looked down and away from me. I kept my eyes on him, watching his every move, and I could tell he knew I was still staring because his face reddened as he pulled the two girls he was with away and out of my eyeline. His response didn't really make sense, he looked almost guilty, but why? I shook my head, rolling my eyes; deciding that this just was not worth my brain power and instead joined a game of beer pong – forgetting about Alex's existence.

Throughout the night I caught glimpses of Alex, talking to a different blonde; a curly haired brunette; a short, tanned girl – just a parade of gorgeous women, all equally enthralled by whatever charming nonsense he was drilling into them. I overheard plenty of conversations praising him, calling him a legend, saying how envious they were of him. Every now and again someone would holler over the music to him, or wolf whistle in commendation. I had to have seen him kiss around 5 different girls before eventually he left with a tall, tanned brunette with legs longer than my whole body; he received quite a few pats on the back and congratulatory yells – which was honestly the most embarrassing part. But I had shocked myself with how uninterested I was, I just continued to dance and drink and chat and ignore the constant reminders of Alex's general disgustingness, and to my disbelief, it worked; I actually managed to enjoy myself and at the end of the night I slept easy knowing that Alex Gaskarth was well and truly out of my system.

"Okay, and Tyler's gonna be here at around 6, so be nice," Carter mumbled as we all squished into the front of the bus, hurriedly preparing for the set we had in just under an hour. I threw on a The Maine shirt, some shorts and a pair of sunglasses; Carter had provided us all with a bunch of merch for the other bands at Warped, claiming that it would help both them and us if we represented eachother. Ben had worn an All Time Low one to bed (which was strange enough), but I couldn't physically bring myself to even touch one of their shirts. Representing a band is a lot more than just wearing a shirt, it's like a sign of support and friendship and at this time I just didn't feel that towards them – solely because of Alex.

"Tyler?" Adam questioned, his voice groggy and nasal with the remnants of his cold.
We all piled out of the bus in a flurry of nerves and urgency. "Yeah, the merch guy I hired!" Carter yelled over the commotion as we made our way towards the stage we were performing. It was obvious none of us were listening to him at this point but he continued to talk. "Just make sure you're nice to him okay?!" he yelled as we waved him off and made our way onto the stage, greeted by loud cheers and a chorus of applause.

For a couple of hours after our set, the boys and I hung out at our merch tent, signing stuff and taking pictures as well as just manning the tent since Carter was off doing important manager stuff, and this guy he had hired hadn't turned up yet. After a little while and once our lines had calmed down, the rest of the boys left to go prepare for tonight's shenanigans, but I decided to stay just in case someone showed up – which was highly unlikely since most everyone on the premises was currently watching Cobra Starship's set.

"Char!" I heard a voice yelling. I glanced up from filing my nails and spotted a very panicked Matt Flyzik hurtling towards me across the parking lot at full speed. "Ch...ar!" he repeated between heavy breaths, stopping in front of me and attempting to catch his breath.

"Uh... hey?" I said, more like it was a question, curious of what he was so urgent about.

"Okay..." he took another deep breath, "We have a show in like an hour and we need you, please say you're not busy, we need you to sing Remembering Sunday with Alex, please, oh my god pleaseeeeeeee," he reeled off at a speed which was almost inaudible, pouting like a child as he begged me.

I sighed heavily; my immediate response would usually be no, because I really did not want to do that, at all – not even slightly, but looking at Matt, pouting and in a panic, I felt guilty and kind of obliged to help him out. Not for Alex, for Matt. "Sure," I smiled and he grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" he exclaimed, grinning wide as he ran away in a hurry. I laughed and watched as he practically ran head first into Alex, exclaiming to him that he had solved the problem. I watched Alex's face drop, shaking his head and telling Matt something which caused Matt to sigh and roll his eyes – I couldn't hear from across the tarmac but they didn't seem to be in agreement.

After a rather long discussion, Alex eventually folded his arms and that seemed to be the end of the talk, because Matt sighed heavily and stormed towards me, shaking his head and looking rather annoyed. "Everything okay?" I asked. I could feel Alex watching us, but I refused to look anywhere but at Matt.

"Well, Alex's taken Sunday off the set list, so your afternoon's freed up," he chuckled awkwardly, but it was obvious he was actually pretty annoyed. I tilted my head at him, prying for more, and he sighed heavily. "It's just annoying because it's one of the best received songs and I have no idea why Alex would just take it off, he knows it's a stupid idea, but his say is kinda final in this situation and it's just dumb!" he blabbered, shaking his head.

I glanced behind him to Alex, who sharply averted his gaze from mine, and then back to Matt. "At least you don't need to worry about finding female vocalists now," I laughed a little, trying to lighten the situation.

He forced a chuckle and pulled me into an uncomfortable side hug over the table. "Thanks anyway, Char," he chirped, a fake smile gracing his lips as he turned and walked away in the opposite direction, completely avoiding Alex.

"That was weird," I mumbled to myself under my breath, turning back to filing my nails.

"That was weird," I heard an unfamiliar voice confirm to my left. I jumped out of my skin, turning to face a guy I'd never seen before, chuckling at my reaction. "Sorry," he muttered through laughter, placing down a box of shirts, "I thought you were expecting me." I raised an eyebrow at him, completely perplexed as to who this was and why I would be expecting him. He caught my still confused expression and smirked, holding his hand out, "I'm Tyler," he introduced.

"Oh..." I breathed, reaching and shaking his hand as the light went off in my head, "Our new merch guy, of course, I'm sorry," I laughed, looking down, suddenly feeling quite coy. He was incredibly attractive, with floppy brown hair and glasses, he was a little on the shorter side, but still stood over me and was wearing skinny jeans despite the abominable heat; I could appreciate his dedication to the outfit.

"No problem, I'm all set here if you wanna go relax," he stated, pulling shirts out of the box he had brought and displaying them out on the table in front of us.

"Uh..." I glanced up and caught a glimpse of Alex's gaze; it was fiery and red hot, but he quickly looked away again, turning and looking as if he were busy in conversation with people who had slowly gathered around him. I looked back at Tyler and he smiled politely, continuing with his job. "I can stay for a little while," I confirmed, pulling up a chair and watching as he folded and unfolded merch, questioning him relentlessly and hoping to get to know him better. Carter had said he would be joining us for at least a few states, because Carter was sick of manning our tent himself; he said he had known Tyler a while and he was well versed in the world of being a merch guy, which was clear to see just from the way he acted in the tent and around customers.

Eventually, night rolled around and as usual a huge party was going on, a lot bigger than last night's. It was a little wild, I even spotted Gabe doing body shots off of a very pretty lady lied on a beer pong table – classy stuff. For whatever reason, I decided to make a little more effort tonight. I dressed myself in a cute black dress, which was flowy, but quite revealing in the front, with a low, lace up v-neck, paired with some chunky, heeled sandals and a thin black choker.

"Twit twoo," Adam joked as he watching me exit the bathroom, he was still in his bunk and sounding even worse than yesterday, so he was missing out again. I leaned down and pecked his forehead, thanking him for the borderline offensive compliment – but it was the best I was going to get.

"What are you lookin' nice for?" Ben joked, spritzing himself with cologne.

"What you smellin' nice for?" Emmet joked and Jenson high-fived him as Ben pulled a mocking face.

"Thanks," I muttered sarcastically, "can't I make an effort like?" I questioned, suddenly a little defensive.

"Alright, chill out, mate," Ben laughed and I rolled my eyes, not in the mood.

"Okay, kids, settle down," Carter joked, pushing us all off the bus, "Char, you look gorgeous; Ben, you smell better than usual," he complimented, causing us to laugh and Ben to roll his eyes. "Goodnight, Ad!" Carter yelled and we all chorused it to him as the eldest man shut the door behind us; Adam probably relieved to have time away from us.

Although Alex was up to his usual tricks; constantly circulating in the background, talking to strangers, kissing girls, gaining attention, I again had a great night. Tyler had decided to come along to the party and get to know the rest of the boys, since he would be staying on the bus with us from now on, and honestly I was happy to spend more time with him. He seemed really genuine and nice, which was pleasant to be around. The rest of the guys seemed to really take a liking to him too; Jenson even going as far as to drunkenly kiss him full force on the lips – bless Tyler's poor, unsuspecting soul.

I had caught Alex's eye a few times, but it didn't phase me, I was having far too much fun with everyone else at the party and before I knew it I was being roped into playing spin the bottle. A lot of people had gone to bed at this point, so the car park was mostly empty; just a few strays here and there – including Alex and some redhead who were leaned up against a bus, her hands on his chest and his hands around her waist as he watched us intently.

"Come on!" Victoria giggled, dragging me by the hand and pulling me to sit in the small circle that had formed in the middle of the parking lot. I was much too drunk and just giggled as I flopped between my brother and Zack Merrick, who instantly caught me, wrapping an arm protectively around my waist, chuckling at me. I had never played spin the bottle before in my life, but I had certainly ruled out the chances considering I was now 21 years old, but fuck it, it was just a bit of fun.

"Ewwwwww," Ben chirped like a little girl, causing everyone to look at him, "I-I can't play with my sis... my - she's my sister!" he spluttered out, pointing at me, his eyes barely open.

"No one's gonna make you kiss your sister," Zack assured him from beside me, his voice indicating he was clearly much more sober than the rest of us. I looked up at him and crinkled my nose giggling and he just laughed at me and my intoxicated state.

We had to sit through watching Victoria and Matt Barnes making out for at least one awkward minute; Josh and some random girl peck like school children; Gabe Saporta come at Emmet with his tongue completely out and Emmet almost crying, before it was finally my turn to spin the bottle. I fumbled in my attempts to bend forward and spin the empty beer bottle, most definitely flashing both Zack and my own brother my underwear as I did so.

Of course, it landed on John Ohhh; it was almost like the God's of fate had set this up and they wanted Alex's worst nightmare to unfold. John threw his arms up in celebration, causing everyone to laugh, before bending over and meeting me in the middle of the circle. He immediately put a hand on my cheek, earning some Ooooos from the circle around us, and our lips met. It wasn't anything special, it was just an awkward first kiss in front of a bunch of people, and both of us couldn't help but giggle into eachother as he attempted to deepen it a little. We both pulled away, smirking and giggling to eachother before rejoining the group; John wiggling his eyebrows playfully at me. I could feel Alex's eyes burning into my skull, but I ignored it and focused on the game.

After watching my brother awkwardly peck Dan Flint and then sulking because he either 1. wanted to kiss a girl or 2. wanted to actually make out with Dan, it was Jack Barakat's turn. He eyed the group suggestively, deviously grinning at all of us in turn, before spinning the bottle. It whizzed around in a way that made my drunken head spin, before coming to a slow stop on me. I lied, this was Alex's worst nightmare. "Orrr, for fucks sake!" my brother muttered beside me; again, I couldn't work out if it was because 1. his sister was kissing another guy in front of him and it made him uncomfortable, or 2. he had wanted the bottle to land on him – I presumed the latter.

Jack laughed, grinning sweetly at me as I leaned forward towards him, already giggling. He came closer to me and I could feel his hot, alcohol soaked breath on me. I hadn't gotten to know Jack that well yet, but I sure was about to. Our lips met and instantly we were both laughing hard, unable to keep our mouths still. "Oh just do it!" Josh Franceschi yelled from our side as both Jack and I pulled away, our faces close as we laughed together, but upon Josh's remark Jack grabbed me with both hands and forcefully kissed me. We were both still giggling, but our tongues managed to meet, as my hands found his hair. Again, it wasn't anything special or particularly heated, it was just a kiss, but it earned quite a few hollers from the group.

Once we pulled away we both fell back laughing uncontrollably, in fact Jack had went a shade of pink I had never seen him turn before, it was adorable. "Okay, okay, move on!" Jack snapped his fingers, looking rather shy as people continued to laugh and awww, whilst Rian threw an arm around him and squeezed him comfortingly – Jack just pushed him away, pretending to be embarrassed.

By 2 AM everyone was in bed, including some random blonde who was apparently sharing Carter's for the night – and she was very loud and enthusiastic about it. I wasn't sure how, but Emmet, Jenson, Ben and Tyler had all managed to drift to sleep despite the constant sex noises and Adam's relentless snoring, however I was not that lucky.

I groaned loudly, making it known that I was angry, as I slipped out of my bunk and down the hall, but the noise just continued. I rolled my eyes and stepped out into the crisp, night air. The stars were so bright, a lot more visible than they were in Cali. I sighed heavily and slipped down to the floor, leant up against the bus. I was so tired, but I figured Carter couldn't take much longer, and so waiting was probably my best option here.

"What are you doing sat out here?" I heard a voice rip through the peaceful silence; a voice I had become content with not hearing. I glanced up and saw Alex, with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his sweat pants and a baggy, ripped T-shirt on. His eyes looked heavy with thought and perhaps sadness, but he was incredibly hard to read.

I glanced away and focused my gaze straight ahead of me, pulling my knees into my chest. "What are you doing walking out here?" I mimicked him and he chuckled a little.

"Can't sleep, you?" He moved closer and slid down beside me, leaving a rather large gap between us, which I was thankful for.

"Same."

"Zack has really bad sleep apnoea," he continued, trying to refuel the conversation, "it's like trying to sleep with fog horns going off," he chuckled. I could feel his gaze on me, expecting a response but I just kept looking straight ahead.

"Yeah, AJ has a cold, so the snoring's levelled up," I responded, not exactly sure why I was even making conversation.

"Okay, it's not a competition," Alex joked but I wasn't in the mood for this light-hearted approach he was having with me after ignoring me for the past couple days.

"No, but if it was, I'd win. Carter's also fucking someone..." I turned and glanced at him quickly, he raised his brows in surprise at my statement, but I quickly looked away, "loudly," I added and Alex laughed.

"Alright, you win," Alex chuckled and a deadly silence followed, crushing the pair of us. I didn't do well with awkward silences, but there was no way I was breaking this one. "...Actually..." he began after a while, "I came out here to speak to you..." he breathed and again I could feel his eyes on me.

"So, now you wanna speak to me," I scoffed, my voice low and barely audible.

He sighed, "I just wanted to talk about tonight..."

"What about it?" I questioned, playing with my fingers uncomfortably.

"Well... er... I didn't like it..." he admitted, sounding very nervous.

"Didn't like what?"

He gulped loudly, probably louder than he was hoping, "...yano... the game?" the inflexion made it seem like a question, but I wasn't sure what he was asking. I glanced up at him now, confused. "Yano... spin the bottle?"

I looked back down. "Oh, what about it?"

"I just didn't like it," he admitted, his voice more confident now.

"Well..." I looked up, raising an eyebrow in genuine bemusement, "you didn't play..." I reminded him, like he was stupid.

"Yeah, but you did." He no longer seemed nervous and he held my gaze in place sternly; I wanted to look away but I couldn't bring myself to.

"And?" I questioned.

"And... I didn't like it..."

I was becoming increasingly annoyed with his repetitive,vague answers. I sat up a bit, my voice a little stronger as I spoke. "Didn't like what?" I repeated. He sighed and rolled his eyes, like I was being stupid for not knowing. "Howay, spit it out!" I raised my voice a little.

"Sorry if I don't wanna see you kissing John," once again he spat his name out like it was venomous, "and, of all people, my best friend!" He had also raised his voice now.

I got to my feet, not wanting to just sit casually beside him and he quickly followed suit and stood in front of me. "Are you for fucking real?!" I yelled, my eyes wide in disbelief, "You're really gonna tell me you don't wanna see me kissing someone when you've been kissing random lasses none stop the past two days!" I accused, "That's fucking rich!"

"We're both single, Charlie, you can't be annoyed when I go off and kiss other girls, that's what I do," he responded, trying to act like I was the one who brought this topic up.

"I know that!" I yelled, exasperated, "and that's why I haven't came to you and had the nerve to tell you to not do it, because I couldn't care less!"

"Why mention it, then?" he shook his head.

I stared at him in complete confusion, bewildered by the words coming out of his mouth. "Because you just came to tell me you don't like seeing me kiss other guys! So fuck?! I'll kiss whoever the fuck I want, just like you do!"

"But my friends, though, really? It's different," he stated, looking at me with judgement in his eyes.

I felt myself becoming way more angry than I should be, but I was just so perplexed by his logic. "Why do you care? It was just a game! It meant nothing! Just like everything we did! And just like everything you do with every other girl!" I spat, folding my arms and glaring at him.

His face shifted a little and he gulped, but continued to look at me through angry brows. "I don't know why I thought I could come here and have an adult conversation with you, you're a fucking childish bitch!" he threw back and I rolled my eyes. Get a new insult, Gaskarth, I thought.

"Right, yeah, childish because I won't give in to your incredulous double standards?" I scoffed, "You're ridiculous!"

"Fucking pathetic," he mumbled, "this is why I never usually involve myself with girls like you," he seethed.

"Oh yeah, you usually go for the ones that will abide by your rules mindlessly, don't you?" I pushed, hoping to hit a nerve at some point.

"Yano what?" he laughed mirthlessly and lowered his voice a little, his eyes swimming with anger, "I can't wait until tour's over, because trust me, when you're back home, and whenever we come touring in the UK, I know you're gonna be just another one of these throwaway girls who mean absolutely nothing, but you'll come crawling back every time and wanna see me when I'm in town, I promise you that," he hissed, "maybe it'll help keep your band relevant for a little while longer, 'cause once we're not on the line-up, you guys are done for," he winked with a cocky smirk. "You're perfect for the part of one of my girls though, sexy and fuckable, but not worth any actual effort or attention, why else do you think I haven't spoke to you since the other night? I already got what I wanted, didn't think you'd be that easy, but turns out you're just another slut," He seemed so confident as he spoke, but once the words were actually out of his mouth and surrounding us, his face seemed to drop a little as his teeth dug into the side of his mouth. I just continued to stare at him emotionless and stone faced, my jaw locked in place, not sure if I wanted to cry or punch him in the nose. He breathed heavily, "...okay... that-that was too far, I'm sor-" he began, his face layered with guilt as his eyes softened.

He reached towards me, as if to grab my hand or arm or something, but I backed away instantly, still staring at him coldly. "No," I cut him off, "I agree..." I nodded, and he shook his head at what I was saying. "Not with all that utter bullshit, but I too can't wait 'til tour's over," I gulped hard, "god, I never thought I'd say that, but I guess that's the magic you posses, Gaskarth," I muttered sarcastically, shaking my head. "But at least when tour's over, I'll never have to see your face again," I spat, brushing past him, barging my shoulder hard into his arm – which would've been much more menacing if I was over 5'3, but I tried my best regardless.

"Charlie..." I heard Alex sigh as I slammed the door behind me. I hadn't realised but tears had swelled in my eyes and were spilling over my hot, red cheeks.

I wasn't sure why I was crying; I didn't know if it was his actual words or just the sheer anger coursing through my veins, but I couldn't deny that what he had said had really hurt me. I threw myself into my bunk, thankful that Carter and his friend were now fast asleep and almost relieved to hear the familiar sounds of Adam's snoring, it was sure a hell of a lot better than speaking with Alex.

Sleeping proved a lot more difficult than I had hoped, Alex's words kept swirling around in my brain, tormenting me. I knew it was just Alex and his opinion didn't really matter, but it was so malicious and deep-seated, it was hard to just brush it away. He was a complete narcissistic, sociopath and I couldn't help but wonder why; why was he the way he was? Had someone hurt him? Was he struggling with something beyond this? None of that excused his behaviour, but I found myself, though laid crying because of him, slightly concerned for him and whatever issues he was struggling with. I refused to believe someone could be so evil for absolutely no reason, I felt there was more to this than just being a player with a bad attitude who says dumb shit by mistake.

Notes

charlie's outfits - day one / day two
sorry it's been a while since i updated, i've had the worsttttt writers block, and btw if anybody reads my other story everything better plan, i'm not giving up on it, i will be getting round to finishing it soon, i just enjoy writing this more atm sorry ok thanks lol