Jack

I never thought I was this terrible of a person. I mean, I slept with a bunch of people and didn’t call back, stuff like that, but, I didn’t think that was horrible at the time.
It still isn’t that bad in my opinion.

I never thought of myself as a liar either, but right now, I don’t think there are any two better words to describe me other than terrible and a liar.

I cheated on the guy of my dreams. Who does that?
I had him, I was happier beyond belief, and I managed to screw it up.
My friends were right from the start, they freakin’ knew it.
They knew I would just fuck up and break his heart.

I was so focused on proving them wrong, for so long, and now, just look at what I’ve done.

I’ve been trying my best to avoid Alex, even though it’s nearly impossible. Thankfully he has been taking up more tutoring during and after school, but still. The lying is killing me, and I know that he notices me acting weird, but I assure him it’s nothing.
I just have to get through it, it’s just a bump in the road.
It’s a rough patch that Alex wouldn’t be able to handle. I’m dealing with it myself.

“Jack?”

I whipped around to see Rian giving me a strange look, I sighed and ran my hands nervously through my hair.

“Hey Ri,” I muttered, shutting the door of my locker and looked at him.

“I’ve been trying to talk to you for like 5 minutes now… Jack you really don’t look that good. Have you been getting much sleep-”

“How am I supposed to sleep?” I snapped at him, making him look at me with more concerned eyes before.

Good thing this is Rian, if I snapped at Cass she’d kill me, if I had snapped at Alex he’d cry, if I snapped at Zack he would punch me. I wouldn’t be able to do this without Rian.
Other than Alex he’s the only person who keeps me from being a total asshole.

“Dude…” Rian mumbled, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m falling apart Rian, I can’t take this constant lying. I know that this is for the better but I just keep thinking about what would happen if he found out. Tay keeps running through my head in flashes and I don’t want her to! Plus,I just picture Alex’s face, if he saw me and Tay together, and I can’t stand it. I can’t do this.” I rambled.

Caramel light brown hair, sexy bold eyebrows, button nose, dimples and big chocolate doe eyes.
The human embodiment of a teddy bear

That’s all I could picture in my head, seeing him smile and making him laugh were my favorite parts of the day.
Just imagining his reaction to me exposing this horrifying secret to him makes me sick to my stomach. I could picture the tears rolling down his soft pale cheeks, his body trembling, staring at me with total heartbreak in his eyes.

I love him so fucking much it hurts, seeing him cry makes me want to break fucking bones, but the only person to blame here is me. I cheated on him. I ruined my own life.

I hate myself more than anything.

“Jack! Calm down! Take a deep breath okay? Just relax!” Rian tried to calm me down, and I inhaled a long, slow breath of air, and released it at the same slow speed .

“I love him so much, Rian.” I mumbled, he gave me a sympathetic look.

“I know you do…” Rian soothed.

“Why are you even talking to me, I’m a dick. I betrayed the sweetest person, that I’ve ever met in my entire life. He’s perfect, Rian!!! He’s everything I ever wanted, I didn’t mean to cheat on him. I didn’t want to! He’s so cute and innocent and kind, he’d never even imagine doing anything to hurt me and I just-”

“Stop it, Jack. You’re not a monster, you’re fucking human. You made a mistake, it doesn’t mean you wanted it to happen. You aren’t having an affair, or lying to purposely hurt him, you want to protect him. You did a bad thing, you're not a bad person. Alex is barely stable and that’s only because he has you. He needs you. You love him, you’re not an asshole, or a player, or whatever you’re calling yourself in your head. You don’t want him to be broken hearted for no reason, it makes sense. I’m on your side.” Rian explained.

I took a deep breath, nodding at his words in agreement.

I’m not a monster…

“Love ya, Ri.” I mumbled, wrapping my arms around the shorter guy in a tight hug. He hugged me back, I sighed, being comforted by the soothing feeling of being in his arms.

I’ve felt guilty for even looking at Alex ever since his birthday party, at least I get to hug someone without feeling like a terrible person.
Rian is right.

Alex needs me.
We’re going to be okay.
I’m going to be okay.

“What are you doing, Rian?”

I flinched as I heard a loud voice, and quickly realized it was just Cass.

“Talking to Jack,” he said with no shame, making me smile.

I’m so glad to have him as a best friend, he supports me with every decision I make.
He knows I would do the exact same with hm.

“Why?” Cass asked, confused.

She really doesn’t like me anymore, I thought she might side with me because she’s been my friend longer, but, Alex’s side really is the better place to be.
My side is for the liars, the people on Alex’s side are for the truthful people.

“Come on, Cass.” I sighed.

“Jack needs me right now, “ Rian told her.

“Wait… are you on his side? “ Cass asked, shocked.

“Side?” Rian repeated.

“They are taking sides, Cass is on Alex’s.” I clarified, Cass nodded.

“I’m not on anyone’s side, I’m trying to help the entire situation.” Rian told her, with his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her.

Oh no, what if this causes a fight between the two of them.
Shit, I hope not. I’d be responsible for breaking up the best couple in the world, well, and I’d be sad for them of course. They have been together for 4 years without breaking up once.

Who am I kidding, they could never break up, they love each other too much.
They may fight like an old married couple but they’re made for eachother.

“Thanks Rian,” I said.

“But he cheated on Alex!” Cass argued.

“No way, Jack cheated on Bambi?!” I heard a voice come out of nowhere making me flinch, I turned around and saw Zack standing in front of me.

Oh shit.

“Zack doesn’t even know yet,” Cass laughing, I glared at her angrily.
She’s going to make telling him that I slept with his ex girlfriend a lot harder than it should.

Thankfully, Zack is a pretty peaceful and reasonable guy. He may be huge, and could kill me with one punch since I have the body of a string bean, but, he knows how to use his strength wisely.

Who am I kidding, he’s going to murder me.

“Shut the fuck up, Cass” I growled at her.

That really made me sound like an asshole, geez. I’m starting to realize with the less time I spend with Alex, the more of a jerk I am to other people.
I’m surprised I even have friends to be honest.

“Why’d you cheat on him, dude? I thought you liked him.” Zack asked me.

“I didn’t mean to, I was drunk.” I explained with a sigh. He better not tell anybody.

“Oh that sucks, and he doesn’t know?” he asked. I shook my head.

“That’s fucked up,” Zack scoffed with a smile, looking surprised I’d do something like that to Alex.

“I’m doing it so he won’t get upset for no reason, since I didn’t mean to cheat.” I explained.

“Okay, that makes sense.” Zack nodded.

“See?” I told Cass.

“Would you feel the same way if you knew he cheated on Alex, with Tay?” Cass asked Zack with an evil smirk my way.

“YOU WHAT?!?!?!”

I held up my hands in surrender as Zack took angry steps toward me, staring at me with rage in his eyes.

“Dude, I swear, I didn’t mean to sleep with your girl-”

“What the hell is the matter with you? Why can’t you just stick to one person at once, you asshole!! If you wanted to cheat on your boyfriend, why did it have to be with my girlfriend?!” Zack went on, totally pissed off.

I knew that I broke the unwritten rules of the bro code. You never sleep with your friends ex, EVER, no matter what. Look at me, a terrible boyfriend and friend.

“I’m sorry, dude-”

“I’m going to fucking murder you!!!” Zack growled, I felt the collar of my shirt tighten as he grabbed me by it, pulling my face closer his.

“Fuck off me!” I yelled, trying to wriggle away from his grasp.

“Fuck off my girlfriend!” Zack yelled back.

“Whoa, guys just calm down!!” Rian exclaimed loudly, pulling Zack away from me.

“Just let me get one hit in-”

“Don’t fucking touch me dude, I didn’t mean to sleep with her.” I fought, annoyed that he still had his hand in a fist, holding the collar of my shirt.

Rian finally pulled him off me, but Zack was still inches away from me, staring at me like he was debating to punch me in the face or not. I wouldn’t be surprised or mad if he did, I know I deserve it.

“Stay the fuck away from Tay, or I will seriously pound your motherfucking face in.” Zack threatened.

“I’m sorry man,” I apologized for what felt like the tenth time.

“You’re the biggest asshole I’ve ever met.” Zack told me with an angry expression

“I get that a lot,” I shrugged.

I know what I am and how people think of me.
I’m an asshole, everyone knows it.

Zack grabbed both sides of my hoodie and slammed my back into the locker, I groaned as my skull collided with the the metal surface.

I watched him walk away as I cringed from the pain, reaching up my arm to place a hand on my sore head.
He could’ve given me a concussion
I would’ve deserved it anyway.

“Well, he took that a lot better than I thought he would!” Rian said optimistically.

“He should’ve pounded your face in…” Cass mumbled.

“Thanks Cass,” I said sarcastically, rubbing the back of my head

“Someone should!” she exclaimed.

Notes

im sorrry that this whole chapter is just talking and not some interesting scene
BUT OOOOOOO
ZACK FOUND OUT
OH MY GOSH GUYS HE KNOWSSS
and he didnt punch jack which is shocking
AND AWWW
RIAN AND JACK BONDING CUTENESS

the suspence is KILLING ME
i need you guys to KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
i need to write faster, i literally said this last chapter
but i planned out the chapters better
and i know what im writing next, and YAY
i wish i could write during this weekend but i wont be home with my laptop, but im in such a writing MOOD
ALL YOUR COMMENTS MAKE ME SO HAPPY THEN I WRITE MORE AND ITS GREAT
i am rambling

this story is so dramatic it makes me so HAPPY


bye im gonna keep writing
here is jalex
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Title credit- Dancing With a Wolf