Alex


I can’t believe I agreed to this.

How the hell did I get myself into this?

I didn’t really realize it then but now I am completely dreading the fact that I have to make cookies with Jack, alone with him in his kitchen.

I haven’t been to his house since before I knew about everything that he did to me, before my heart was shattered and I woke up with a smile on my face.
This is the place that I lost my virginity in, where I went to my first party, and ultimately where I fell in love with Jack.

I have no problem with this house, I’ve had a lot of good memories here, it’s just the boy that lives in it that makes me start thinking about the bad times.

There was a point in my life where I was in agony whenever the two of us were separated, but now spending 5 minutes with this manipulating asshole felt like torture.

“I can’t fucking believe this, Lex. Let me walk in there, I’ll go tell him to make those fucking cookies himself-”

“Tom, it’s fine don’t worry about me.” I told him, glancing over at my brother who had his hands gripping the steering wheel of his car incredibly tight, expressing his aggression.

“You’re gonna be with Jack! The guy that cheated on you! Why am I the one that’s freaking out about this?” he questioned me, and looked over at me with bloodshot eyes that were surrounded with dark circles.

“I can take care of myself!” I defended, feeling a little uneasy about his appearance. I really wanted an explanation but I also didn’t know if I wanted to hear the truth.

I know he’s been frustrated lately with our parents, and school and apparently him and Mikey have been having some trouble in their relationship. I want him to open up to me about this kind of stuff, and not possibly resort to other things to relieve some stress.

Things that might lead to him having bloodshot eyes and acting more aggressive than usual.

“That doesn’t mean you should be hanging out with that asshole anymore! He cheated on you, and lied about it. Remember how you wished you never met him when he’s flirting with you later today.” Tom reminded me.

“I can make my own decisions without your help, thank you.” I glared at him, getting more annoyed as my mind wandered to what he could be doing behind me and my parents backs.
“You’re just a kid Alex-”

“I’m 18!! I’m literally just a few years younger than you!” I defended.

“You make stupid decisions! You jumped into a new relationship too fast! Now you’re with a nice boy who treats you with respect but yet you’re still pining after the douchebag that’ll never be good enough for you! I’m your older brother, I’m supposed to be the one that protect you from shitty people but you keep throwing yourself at them.” Tom scolded, the way that this voice raised made me flinch away and more towards the door of the car, I leaned against the armrest for support.

I tugged at the door handle and groaned as it didn’t open.

“Unlock the car, Tom.” I mumbled.

“I’m trying to do the right thing, just be careful. If Jack says something, or makes you do something that you don’t want to do-”

“Jack isn’t like that!! Let me out! I can’t believe you would even say that!” I interrupted, offended by the mere thought of my ex-boyfriend pressuring me to do that with him.

Jack is still a nice guy, who am I kidding he’s a total sweetheart. Him doing anything like that to anybody is absolutely impossible.

“Fine, whatever.” Tom grumbled, and I heard the clicking sound of the door unlocking.

“I appreciate the concern, but it’s none of your business. I was going to ask you why you look like shit and your eyes are all bloodshot, but it’s none of my business either. I hope that whatever you're doing, you either stop or get help.” I glared at him, watching his expression soften and eyes trail down the the ground.

“Alex…” he muttered sadly, but I wasn’t in the mood to get into all this now.

I pushed the car door open and slammed it shut, shoving my phone in my pocket and walking up Jack’s long driveway. I reached the front door, feeling awkward as I knocked on it a few times.

I’d usually just walk straight it.

“It’s open!!!” I heard him yell from inside, making me smile lightly but I quickly returned to my straight face.

I opened the door and didn’t bother to untie my black vans since I didn’t want to make myself at home, and walked into the living room to find that the lights were dimmed and the tv was on. I quickly recognized what he was watching once Daniel Radcliffe popped up on the screen, which reminded me that there was a Harry Potter marathon on one of my favorite channels right now.

Jack was leaning his back against the armrest of the couch, his arm resting on it to prop his head up so he could stare at the bright screen, and his legs were covered with a fuzzy patterned blanket.

I remember countless times cuddling up with him on Sunday mornings in that blanket, I wonder if he does too. Is that the first thing he thinks of when he looks at that blanket?

Does he just see a blanket and not the incredibly fond memories I hold close to my heart by it?

“Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is on!” he told me without separating his eyes from the tv.

It was kinda cute, I was the one who introduced him to this series and now he loves it almost as much as me. He thought it was nerdy but watched it because I wanted to, look who’s the nerd now.

I had an urge to run over to him, lay on top of him and snuggle up next to him and join him in watching my favorite movie ever but things are different now.

“Cool,” I answered lamely.

I watched his head turn sideways, butterflies filled my stomach at how absolutely gorgeous he looked in this dim lighting. His thick dark brown hair was a little messier than it usually is when I see him at school, one of his cheeks was red from where he had his hand to prop his head up, and his stunning dark brown eyes were staring intently at me through long lashes.

Wow.

How’d I manage to let a guy that perfect get away?

“It’s your favorite, Lex.” I was immediately brought back to reality when I heard my nickname, I blinked to see his eyes still staring at me.

I looked away and towards the kitchen, knowing if I looked at him for any longer I’d give in.

“Let’s just get this over with,” I answered and placed my phone down on the kitchen counter, walking towards the sink to wash my hands.

“Nice to see you too,” I heard Jack respond sarcastically, the tv turned off and he joined me in the kitchen.

I went back to my phone and pulled up the first chocolate chip cookie recipe I found, and started pulling out the specific ingredients from the cupboards that I’ve memorized what is found in each.
As Jack lazily washed his hands I quickly glanced at what he was wearing, a grey Kiss band tee that must’ve been somewhat new because I’ve never seen him wear it before, comfy black sweatpants and grey socks.

A Kiss shirt? Seriously? Did he do that on purpose?

He doesn’t even listen to Kiss!

“What?” Jack asked, catching me staring at his chest. Instead of a smirk like usual he genuinely looked curious.

“Since when do you listen to Kiss?” I asked him, looking back down and placing the flour on the granite countertop.

“Oh, I don’t really. I mean, maybe I know a few songs from when I was a kid, someone bought it for me though.” he explained casually, going to the fridge and pulling out a carton of eggs.

I forced myself from asking who got it for him, but really?
Who would’ve bought him a shirt for a band he doesn’t like?
All of our close friends were the only people who would ever buy him clothes, and they all know better that Kiss is nowhere near one of his favorite bands.

“I didn’t wear it on purpose, if that’s what you’re overthinking about.” Jack chuckled, commenting on the way I didn’t respond to what he said but was just silent.

Ugh, why is he like this.

“Whatever,” I muttered, and noticing that we had all the ingredients besides the chocolate chips.

I looked over at Jack who was getting a big bowl for us to make the dough in.

“Can you get the chocolate chips?” I asked, forcing myself not to smile when his head perked up as I began talking.

“Oh, I hope we have some.” he said, opening a drawer to begin searching for the ingredient.
“They’re in the cupboard, and next to the peanut butter… at least I think.” I told him, since he was looking in the wrong spot.

He got the chocolate chips while chuckling lightly.

“What’s so funny?” I mumbled, looking up at him.

“Nothing,” he brushed off.

I knew that he was just trying to not piss me off more because it was obvious I really didn’t want to be doing this, so he didn’t tell me that he was laughing because I remember where it is after all this time.

It is kinda funny, I guess.

“Don’t eat them! We need them all!” I scolded as he dug his hand into the bag and pulled out a handful of tiny chocolate chips.

Annoyance filled through me as he shrugged and poured the chocolate into his mouth, and ripped the bag away from his hands.

“There’s enough.” he mumbled with his mouth full.

“Now there’s not enough 150 cookies, we barely had enough as it is.” I complained, the half empty bag of chocolate chips would simply not be enough.

“Then we’ll make some normal cookies too,” Jack rolled his eyes at me. I shot him a death glare but he just smirked back at me.

Jack picked my phone up from the counter, I was about to protest and grab it from his hands but I remembered he needed the cookie recipe. He typed in my password correctly which shocked me, I was surprised he’d still remembered it and especially how I didn’t change it after so long.

I watched as he lazily followed the recipe, pulling out the correct measuring cups and dumping in the ingredients to the large bowl.

Since I was basically no help at this point, I did my best and gave him the correct measuring cup each time and washed it after he used it. I was starting to think that I could’ve done it myself until he had to quadruple the recipe to make a larger amount of cookies.

I would get lost in all those calculations.

“Hurry up,” I muttered as he was just staring into space, but I quickly realized he was trying to do the math of multiplying ⅔ cups of milk four times in his head.

“You got somewhere to be?” he asked me, glancing over at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, so now you do 2 cups of flour.” I changed the subject, pushing the white powdery ingredient towards him with the correct measuring cup.

“Fuck this,” he muttered, grabbing the bag of flour and dumping a small pile of it in.

“Jack! You’re gonna put in too much!” I gasped, grabbing the bag of flour from him.

“Excuse me, who asked who to help who with baking?” he asked confusingly as he rolled his eyes.

“You’re going to ruin the cookies with all the extra!” I told him.

“Fine,” Jack shrugged, dipping his finger into the flour and flicking the powder at my face.

I flinched as I felt my face being dusted with flour, my cheeks were now covered in white.
His laughing filled my ears as I blinked my eyes repeatedly, making sure I wouldn’t go blind from this.

“Jack! What the fuck was that for?!” I exclaimed, trying to clean my face with my hands.

“It’s because you’re being so high strung and weird around me. We can be friends if you’d just let us, I’m trying and you’re just being a jerk.” he explained, seeming like he was getting something off his chest he’s been wanting to all day.

Annoyance filled through me and I dipped my fingers in the flour, then glared up at him.

“Oh, I’m the jerk?” I flicked a large amount of flour on Jack’s face and all over his shirt, making me smile when his jaw dropped, not expecting me to retaliate.

His powdery face changed into a smirk, glaring at me with playful eyes that I haven’t seen on him in so long.

“Oh, you’re gonna pay.” he sneered, making me giggle more.

I gasped as flour was thrown at my shirt, covering my torso in the white substance that was incredibly messy. I dug my hand into the bag and threw the handful at Jack, watching it coat his black sweatpants.

“Lex!” He gasped, staring at what I’d done in shock but with a huge smile.

Nothing but laughter and flour filled the kitchen as we both threw handfuls of the powder at each other. All I could see was white, with the occasional sight of Jack but that was the target to attack.

Soon my entire body was coated and as Jack was reaching into the bag to get more I smacked a handful onto his perfect brown hair making him shriek. I laughed hysterically as I rubbed it into his scalp, smiling harder as I listened to how hard he was laughing along with me.

I turned around to get more flour from the back and felt a tug on my belt loop, I looked backwards to see Jack trying to pour flour down my pants but my jeans were too tight.

“Fuck,” Jack cursed with an adorable chuckle.

“You asshole!” I laughed, turning around with a handful.

He wrapped one arm around my waist since we were so close, but I just took his opportunity to pull on the hem of his sweatpants and drop flour into his boxers.

“LEX!” he practically screamed, I gasped to try to catch my breath but I couldn’t stop laughing.

My eyes started to water and my stomach ached, but I can’t remember the last time I felt so happy.

I tried to make a break for it but Jack easily grabbed me and pulled me back to him making me squeak. He shoves flour down my shirt, making my back arch up but I laughed hysterically as he covered my hair in flour.
I scooped up some that was on the counter and pressed my hand to Jack’s mouth, clutching my stomach as I watched him spit out a cloud of white dust.

I fell down on the ground from laughing so hard, and watched as Jack dumped the rest of the bag on me.



Both us and the entire kitchen were covered completely with flour. It was in every crevice you could think of, and it was really uncomfortable. But, I wouldn’t have changed what had just happened for the world.

We both laughed until we were crying, staring at each other and how we were covered head to toe, which just made us laugh more.

“Maybe we can go buy 150 cookies at the store?” Jack chuckled, which of course made us both burst out into hysterical laughter.

“You started it!” I giggled, smiling at how he wiped my face a bit, but I doubt that did anything because his hands were just as messy.

He settled to wrap his arms around my waist, and I placed my chin on his chest and stared up at him. Jack chuckled and lifted a hand up to run it through my hair, I giggled at the flour that showered the floor.

“We gotta shower,” I told him and he raised one eyebrow.

“Together?” his comforting hand trailed up and down my back, instantly making me crave it places other than my back. I bit my lip, tasting the bland flavor covering the soft skin and a warm blush covered my cheeks.

“Nice try,” I muttered, looking back up at him, but I could tell he could see how badly I wanted him in my eyes, just like I saw it in his.

“Lex, just lis-”

“You can shower first.” I interrupted him, taking a step back which made him frown.

“Okay good, because my dick is covered in flour thanks to you. It’s not a great feeling.” he told me with a chuckle.

He reached up and squeezed my upper arm lightly, which was the closest thing he could get to a kiss right now, since we are just friends.

I watched him attempt to carefully walk up the stairs but everywhere he went he left a trail of flour.

I was having the same issue, since I had free time I tried to start cleaning up the kitchen, but nothing was working since I just got everything messy again.

I couldn’t sit down anywhere so I stood awkwardly, leaning over the counter, and collected all of the strength I had to not think about Jack in the shower right now.



“Kay, bathroom’s open!!” I heard Jack shout, and I tiptoed upstairs only leaving a small trail of flour. I bounced around the kitchen a bit to try to get as much as I could off me, which just made the kichen worse but I’d rather that then get upstairs messy too.

I turned into Jack’s room so I could go to his bathroom, and gasped when I saw Jack with nothing but a towel around his waist. Water droplets spread along his defined back and shoulders, with nothing under that robe but everything I’ve been missing for so long.
Jack was staring at me with an amused expression on his face, I instantly lifted a hand to cover my eyes.

“I d-didn’t see anything!” I assured him, my voice breaking from a mixture of nerves and excitement.

“Shut up,” I could tell that Jack was rolling eyes without even looking at him, but now his voice was was a lot closer.

I gasped as I felt two warm hands go under my shirt and rub along my sides, I nervously dropped my hand to find him staring down at me.

His eyes were full of lust which instantly made my face heat up in a blush, I inhaled a deep breath as I gazed at his naked torso.
One of his clean hands left my hip and lifted my chin up, making me look at him in the eyes which made my legs feel like they had turned to jelly.

Heat spread along my limbs, goosebumps covered my arms from his touch that felt like electricity.

The sexual tension between us was crazy.

“Sh-Shower.” I mumbled, our locked eyes not breaking.

“Mhmm,” he agreed, stepping aside so I could make my way to the bathroom.

Still covered in flour, I awkwardly walked to the bathroom, tripping on nothing on my way there.

I shut the door quickly, and immediately leaned my back against it and let out a huge sigh.

I’m fucked.



I walked out of his bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, my hair was half dry and fluffy and actually looked horrible so the first thing that I did was look for a beanie.
I found one on his desk that was cluttered with a bunch of junk and dishes, and tossed it on the bed for me to put on later.

I made my way to his dresser and smiled as I went through his drawers.

I giggled lightly as I looked through all his old band tee shirts he probably wore when he was an underclassmen. They were all obnoxious colors with offensive lyrics bold letters.
I wish I knew him back when he still wore things like this, he probably looked really cute as a younger teen.

Not that he doesn't look cute now, though.

I grabbed a pair of boxers from the drawer and slipped them on. It’s weird how I remember everything here, I literally remember wearing this pair of boxers all the time.

I went through another drawer and pulled out a pair of dark grey sweatpants that I also wore very often. They are way too fucking long for me, my feet are completely covered by the extra fabric that went on for miles, just likes Jack’s legs.

It was like I was wearing socks!

I shoved my hands in the pockets, letting the memories of times when I was happier replay in my mind.


“And that’s about the time she walked away from me!!” we both shouted.

Jack and I were bouncing around the kitchen at 3:00 in the morning, screaming the lyrics of ‘What’s my Age Again?’ by our favorite band, while eating huge spoonfuls of chocolate ice cream.

“Nobody likes you when you’re twenty three!!!” we sang at the same time, completely out of breath from dancing but we didn’t care.

Jack grabbed me by the waistband of his sweatpants I was wearing and pulled me closer, I opened my mouth and he fed me a spoonful of ice cream. The cool, creamy taste of the frozen dessert spread in my mouth and I moaned from the delicious flavor.

I stood up on my toes that were covered with the extra long pants and pressed my lips against Jack’s, feeling the same pressure being returned as he kissed me back. His arms slipped around my waist and I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss, goosebumps traveled down my arms when what I expected to be a 5 second long kiss became so much more.

My tongue flicked eagerly against his lips, asking for entrance which he quickly accepted.
Tongues tangled, teeth nipping and lips bruising, with heart beats quickening and love for each other growing stronger.

He bit down on my bottom lip and sucked it into my mouth, sending a mix of shock and pleasure through my body.

I smiled against his lips, butterflies filling my stomach as I watched his lips turn up into a smile as well. I couldn’t think of anything that could ruin my mood, I felt like the happiest, luckiest person on the entire planet.

The entire world could be ending but as I could see Jack’s smile, I knew I would be okay.

Right when the chorus kicked back in I turned around, ready to dance but as I stepped forward my sweatpants covered foot slipped out from under me. I fell down on the floor, catching myself from getting a concussion with my elbows but landing with a hard smack.

Instead of being concerned and asking me if I was okay, Jack’s hysterical laughter filled the room. He bent over holding his stomach, thinking my clumsiness was the funniest thing he’s ever witnessed.

His reaction made me giggle, I leaned forward and pulled on his hand which made him fall down on the ground. We both instantly started laughing harder, I have no idea what was wrong with us but for some reason everything was hilarious.

We’re just so fucking happy.

Jack climbed on top of me, still giggling but attached our lips together in a kiss. I hummed, pressing in deeper but I was stopped as Jack pulled away and ripped my shirt off, then sat up to pull off his own.

Once I realized that he wanted to have sex, here on the kitchen floor I started laughing even more.

“Here?!?” I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck and smiled as he placed a kiss on my bare chest.

“Oh hell yeah.” Jack chuckled, ripping the dark grey sweatpants off of my legs.

I giggled and wrapped my legs around his waist, laughing as Jack placed sloppy kisses all over my neck, feeling his smile against the sensitive skin.


I was giggling to myself now just from the memory.

We used to have moments like that all the time together, where we would laugh until we cried because we were just so damn happy.

I really haven’t felt that way in a long, I don’t think he has either.

Well, besides what we just did.
The flour war we just had reminds me of something the both of us would do when we were dating.

Something stupid and careless that we don’t even think about the consequences later because we’re so in love.

He really made me feel like myself again.

After all these weeks of being miserable, trying to fake being happy in a relationship with a stranger, I’m finally starting to recognize myself, and the person I was before this all happened.

Maybe it doesn’t have to be this way anymore?

What if this means we should give us another shot?

As I opened the dresser drawer to search for a t- shirt, I came face to face with something that seemed like it came straight from one of my nightmares.

There in Jack’s drawer was a fucking neon lace thong, and a large leopard print bra.

My heart sank.

What?

Where would these have come from? I don’t remember these being here the countless times I’ve been through these drawers.

I stared at them like they might jump out and scare me somehow, frozen in fear.

I imagined the cheap, slutty girl who would wear something like that, I thought of Jack getting turned on by her hourglass figure, them together in his bedroom…

I quickly closed the drawer shut.

This doesn’t mean anything, right?

I tried to come up for an excuse for him in my mind but I was drawing a blank.
I was so happy five seconds ago, I don’t want this to ruin it.

But it’s obvious, he’s sleeping with other people.

It’s not like we’re together, but it feels like he just violated every rule of our relationship all over again.

Is he over me completely?

After everything we’ve been through, he’s still sleeping with other people? This all happened because he slept with someone else, but he said that was an accident.

But now he’s doing it purposefully?

I could feel my heart break in my chest.

I grabbed a black crew neck and pulled it over my body, shoving my phone in my pocket and storming downstairs quickly.

I went to the living room and glanced at Jack who was just staring at the messy kitchen looking baffled on how he was going to clean it up. He looked up at me surprised, confusion and worry plastered on his gorgeous face but right now I couldn’t bare to even look at him.

“Whoa, what’s your problem?” he asked me, sitting up.

“Don’t talk to me.” I muttered angrily.

“Lex, baby what’d I do?” Jack questioned, seeming generally clueless to why I was so infuriated.

“Don’t call me baby!” I choked out, struggling to get my shoes on over my sockless feet.

“Shit, what’s wrong? Seriously, I’m getting really worried.” Jack placed a hand on my shoulder that made me flinch, I felt tears forming in my eyes but I was so sick and tired of crying over him.

“You! You’re what’s wrong with me! Everything in my entire life, is fucking wrong! My parents! My brother! My friends! Y-You! You’re ruining my life! I just want to be a happy person, with a nice family and a boyfriend who cares about me and doesn’t cheat, and friends who don’t stab me in the back. I want someone to love me-”

“I love you, Alex” Jack interrupted me, grabbing me tightly but that just made me feel more panicked.

“If you loved me you never would’ve did this to me!!! You ruined my life! I hate everything, I just want someone to want me but nobody does.” I cried, feeling hot tears pour down my face.

I turned around, reaching for the door handle but Jack quickly stepped in between me and the door.

“You have a boyfriend, Alex. What do you want me to do?” he asked me gently, I could tell how irritated he was with me but his tone remained soft because he knew me so well.
If he started yelling I’d have a panic attack, if I’m not going to have one already.

“I want you to forget about me.” I hiccuped painfully, reaching my hand up to wipe tears from my eyes.

Jack grabbed my wrist and stared intently at me, looking frustrated enough to scream.

“Stop it.” he demanded, I shook my head and tugged my hand free.

“Just forget that we were ever together, forget that we ever met. I d-don’t want to ever be your boyfriend again.” I cried, feeling tears streaming down my face like faucets.

“Stop lying to me.” Jack growled, squeezing my hip tightly

This will all be better for me in the end.

All Jack does to me now is tear me down.

“We’re never going to be a couple, ever again Jack! I don’t want you back, so just get over me.”

Even though Jack couldn’t see it, I was just projecting my inner anger about the situation on him.

I was really screaming these things in attempt to convince myself.

Seeing the light drain out of Jack’s frustrated gaze made my heart clench, but I couldn’t do this anymore.

I can’t keep going on like this.

Jack stepped aside, staring silently at the ground.

I numbly turned the door handle, and walked out of the house where everything good in my life began.

Notes

DON'T FREAK OUT OKAY
JUST
DON'T FREAK OUT

I SWEAR IT'S GONNA BE OKAY
JUST WAIT TILL THE NEXT CHAPTER

NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO BE SAD
I WANT NO FROWNY FACES

FIRST OF ALL
i wanted to post this YESTERDAY
BUT NOW ITS 1:00 AM
so i am sorry but this is just so very long

second of all
i am very proud of this chapter? i think i wrote it well
at least some parts i think i wrote well
good job me

third of all
OKAY I WANTED IT TO BE A SURPRISE BUT JUST LIKE PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR NEXT CHAPTER OKAY? NEXT CHAPTERS IN GENERAL
THEY GONNA BE
AAAAAAAA
IF YOUR SAD ABOUT THE ENDING OF THIS CHAPTER JUST LIKE REREAD ALL THE JALEX THAT HAS JUST HAPPENED
FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE

THE SHIT WILL BE GONE SOON ALEX IS JUST SO VERY EMOTIONAL AND JACK IS JUST SO VERY PROBLEMATIC

THE SHITS JUST GOTTA HAPPEN BEFORE THE HAPPY STUFF
IK SHIT'S BEEN HAPPENING FOR THE PAST LIKE 30 CHAPTERS I AM SO TERRIBLE

why are my chapters so long
it'll probably take like days to read this
i am sorry

also tom in the beginning wow
also jalex in the beginning wow

im too lazy to make these look prettier i am sorry i am the worst
Jacks hair https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/49/0c/26/490c264bb87ef126dfa81b2ae0027f3f.jpg
Jack outfit - http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpii6vJAJm1qausspo1_1280.jpg
Alex hair
https://67.media.tumblr.com/28233393b508c1d195763b5ccc1a5859/tumblr_inline_nf1vasBpcS1s4midf.gif
Alex outfit http://picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/58ntd7-l.jpg

okay wow im tired why don't i write at a normal human time

NOBODY FEEL SAD
IF YOU FEEL SAD LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS HUMAN BEING

title credit- Edge of Tonight