Jack (dreaming)


Shit I got fucked up last night.

I blinked my dry eyes a few times, feeling them sting as they came in contact with the crisp air. My head pounded painfully, my body ached and my stomach felt nauseous, which could have only concluded in that I got shitfaced last night.

What the fuck even happened?

I know that it was Rian’s birthday party, and Alex stayed home because he was feeling under the weather, which was my fault to begin with. Trying to puzzle together events that had happened last night only made my head hurt more, and I started to feel a little dizzy.

I shifted my drained eyes over to my nightstand to grab the old bottle of water I knew has been there for a few days, and saw something odd.

Something that definitely didn’t belong here, or anywhere remotely near me for that matter.
There was a girl, more specifically, a naked girl.

I instinctively jerked away from the body as a reflex from being in a committed relationship for so long, causing me to tumble off of my bed and fall down onto the floor.

I landed painfully hard, but in that moment I was completely numb to that pain.

I looked down at my bare naked body and winced, realizing what this meant. What had just happened in my bed, what I had done with this girl, and what I had just done to my boyfriend.

“Fuck! Oh fuck, Alex. Shit.” I groaned loudly, feeling a tsunami of guilt wash over me.

I just cheated on him!
What the fuck was I thinking?

I didn’t mean for any of this to happen! I love him! I love him more than anything in the world, and he loves me back!
I’m fucking happier than I ever have been, what the fuck did I do?!
I’m not one of those guys, at least not anymore! I promised myself I would never do anything like this to Alex, I was done with this fucking shit!

I’ve committed to him, my entire heart and soul is devoted to Alexander Gaskarth.

I never wanted to cheat on him!!!

I sat up quickly, choking back the vomit that was trying to make it’s way up my throat but I wouldn’t let it.

I don’t have time for that. I need to fix this.

I pulled my boxers on that were on the floor, cringing at both girl’s clothes and mine that were scattered all along my bedroom floor. After seeing nothing but guys underwear for months now, seeing a bra and panties on my own floor is a little alarming.

Oh my fucking god, I can’t believe this happened.

I made my way to my dresser and tugged a pair of dark grey sweatpants up my legs, and pulled on a white v neck over my chest.

Leaning my hands back behind me, I placed both of my feet on the ground and pushed myself up so I could stand, instantly feeling incredibly dizzy and queasy but I pushed those feelings aside.

Grimacing, I looked over at the girl in my bed who’s naked body was only covered by a thin sheet and was shocked at how familiar she looked.

Too familiar, in fact I knew exactly who she was.

“Shit,” I muttered, unable to ignore the way my body was trying to expel the poison I guzzled down last night and I grabbed the nearest wastebasket and vomited into the small container.

The shittier my body felt, the shittier my heart felt as it started to sink in what I truly had just done.

I shuddered at the mess I had made in the trashcan and placed it back down on the floor, thankful that I hadn’t gotten any vomit on my fresh clothes and I grabbed a pair of black socks from my dresser. I slipped them on easily and left the room, shaking my head wildly.

I had never felt more on edge.

Why the fuck did I do that? How could I do that to him?

How could I be such a fucking idiot?

I just cheated on him!

I would literally cheat on anybody on the planet with him!

I don’t care if every girl or guy in the world hated my guts, if he liked me that was the only thing that would ever matter.
Now look what I fucking did!
With Tay, too? What the actual fuck?

I couldn’t even form rational thoughts right now, I just knew exactly what I had to do and nothing was going to stop me from doing it.

I tugged the door to my car open and plopped down into the driver's seat, shoving my key into the ignition and turned to hear the roar of the engine starting. The radio started blaring immediately and I groaned in frustration, spinning the dial quickly until it went silent.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed the number I had memorized by heart.

“Jack?” I heard Alex’s groggy voice fill one of my ears, making me instantly feel relieved and guilty at the same time.

I sighed, running one of my hands through my messy hair and looking over at the dashboard of the car, with the time that said ‘6:13 am’ in bright blue letters.

Oh my god, I cheated on Alex.

“Oh, sorry baby I didn’t mean to wake you up.” I apologized, aching to hear his adorable sleepy voice again, savoring every sweet word he said before I told him about what I did last night.

“Mmhmm… Everythin’ okay? Not usually awake till noon after parties…” Alex mumbled lazily but I could tell he seemed concerned on why I was calling him so early in the morning.

His voice sounded deep and hoarse from sleep but also congested from his obvious sickness that he caught from me. All I want to do is cuddle up with him and forget about everything that I had just done but he deserved better than that.

I couldn’t lie to him.

I had to tell Alex the truth about what I did last night.

“Can I come over? I need to see you.” I asked, tugging at the edge of my shirt anxiously.

“M’sick.” he grumbled, and I listened to what sounded like him shifting into more comfortable position in bed

I smiled at how adorable he was, and felt another strong pang of regret.

“I don’t care.” I promised him

“I look like crap... I am so disgusting right now, haven’t even sh-”

“You’re fucking drop dead gorgeous, baby. You always look amazing to me.” I interrupted him quickly and honestly, feeling a smile spread across my face when I listened to Alex giggle shyly.

He let out a muffled ‘Aww’ so I assumed he’d pushed his face into one of his pillows because he was so bashful. So fucking adorable.

“Okay, you can sneak in. The key’s under the-”

“I know where it is,” I rolled my eyes.

“Just be quiet, if my parent’s hear or see you, we’ll both be dead.” he mumbled tiredly.

“Alright baby, I love you.” another shooting feeling of guilt stabbed into me like a knife.

“Love you, Jacky.” he yawned, making me chuckle lightly.

--

My shaky hand gently opens the door, careful not to let the door squeak and quickly slipped into the dark room, shutting the door behind me. I sighed, turning to Alex’s bed to see a mound of blankets curled up in the middle of the mattress making my heart fill with warmth.

Everything that has ever bothered me easily faded away once I caught sight of my gorgeous boyfriend.

Just the fact that someone like him would ever be with a guy like me confuses me everyday.

I walked over to his bed and pulled up his down navy blue comforter, slipping underneath it so my body pressed up against his warm, bare back. I smiled, sliding my hands along his smooth sides before wrapping my arms around his body and hugged him to my chest.

I placed gentle kisses along his shoulder blades and the back of his neck, and listened to him inhale a long slow breath as he woke back up

He hummed lazily making me chuckle, and slowly turned over so he would be facing me.
I took in his sleepy eyes that were only half open, his flushed pink cheeks and adorable bed head.

I pressed my lips to his forehead and frowned when I kissed the unusually hot skin.

“You’re burning up, baby.” I mumbled sadly, placing multiple kisses along his hot face and finally kissed his lips sweetly.

“Fever.” he responded groggily, lifting up one of his arms to wrap around me and cuddled into my body more.
I pulled him closer with my arm so there was no longer any space between us and he hummed in satisfaction.

“I’m sorry.” I pouted, burying my face into his messy and abundant amount of hair and placed kisses on the soft locks.

I felt pretty guilty for all this, since it was all my fault because I was sick first, now I’m the reason why he’s unwell. Wow, when will I ever stop hurting his boy?

“I forgive you.” he yawned, pushing his face into my chest and took a deep breath.

Panic ran through me for a second, expecting him to shove me away and start questioning me why the hell I smell like I had sex last night. I practically reeked of sweat and musk, something that would break his heart because it’s something that should only belong to him. A disgusting odor that we both work up multiple times a week, except I don’t mind it on him.

I felt horrible and selfish to be thankful that he had a fever, so he would be too congested to be able to smell me, and smell the fact that I was with somebody else last night.

Ugh, why would I ever want anybody else but him?

I just hope he forgives me as easily as he did with me getting him sick.

“I missed you last night.” Alex told me sweetly, bringing me back to reality.

“So did I” I admitted, watching him look up at me with eyes a little brighter and energized than before.

“You look weird,” Alex said, bringing a hand up and placed it on my chest.

Terror ran through my body.

“Huh?” I questioned.

Did I have any hickies or something?
Do I look like I just had sex with a girl?

“You’re looking at me weird, did something happen last night? Are you okay?” he squeezed my arm, seeming to be getting more worried.

How the fuck can he tell when I do shit I’m not supposed to do?

I’m literally acting the exact same as I usually do!

I do not wear my heart on my sleeve like Alex does, but somehow he can still read me like an open book.

He knows me too well, fuck, how am I going to tell him?

“I have to be honest with you…” I trailed off with a sigh, I felt more guilty as I felt his smaller body tense up in my arms, so I held him tighter to me.

“You can tell me anything, babe.” he assured me, laying his head down on the pillow mine was on so our eyes met.

That’s the thing, I can’t tell him like this.

I can’t break his heart while staring at those wide, innocent brown eyes that drive me crazy.
There’s no way I could watch the pain fill those beautiful orbs that I could never bring myself to stop staring at.

But I need to do this. It would hurt him more if I kept it from him.

I know him well enough to know that he would rather know the truth than to have me building up secrets and lies, he would like me to tell him.

I know that for sure.

“Baby, please don’t hate me.” I mumbled, looking down at his chest and let my eyes trail to his lightly toned stomach.

How’d I score such a sexy boyfriend?

He’s literally the type of guy I’d fantasize about in the shower when I was 15 and wanted to get off. I managed to somehow find him, convince him to be my boyfriend, and get him to love me back, and I cheat on him with one of my best friends.

He’s my dream come true, but I’m his nightmare.

“Don’t scare me, Jack… Just tell me what’s going on. We can work through this.” he mumbled quietly, I could tell how nervous he was getting so quickly.

“Alex, I don’t-”

“Please don’t break up with me, Jacky. I love you so much, I need you, I can’t live without you, you’re all I have, you’re absolutely everything to me. Whatever I did to make you want to leave me I swear I will make it up to you, I will do anything just please please don’t give up on me. I cant be better for you, I promise. I love you-”

“Baby! Oh my god! I’m not going to break up with you, shit, honey it’s okay.” I interrupted his heartbroken ranting frantically.

My heart rate sped up as he pressed his face into the crook of my neck and hugged onto me tightly. I held him tightly in both of my arms, rubbing the back of his head with one of my hands.

I felt a shaky breath on my neck and he mumbled something quietly, clinging onto me like his life depended on it.

“I love you, more than anything in the world. You’re my other half, I can’t even imagine my life without you. You could never do anything that would ever make me want to leave you, I don’t care if you murdered someone because I’m sure you would have a pretty good reason for it.” I told him gently, smiling once I heard him start giggling which made me laugh too.

“I never say I love you out of habit, or just because you say it or something. I say it to remind you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You’re absolutely perfect, and there’s nobody else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with-”

“Promise me that we’ll always be together, forever. No matter what happens I’m not gonna leave, and you won’t leave either right?” Alex pulled away and looked up at me eagerly, my heart melting.

“Of course not,” I promised, and kissed his forehead. He smiled, kissing my lips right before he grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers.

“So… Whatever you did that made you come over here so early, you can tell me. I won’t freak out.” he assured me, squeezing my hand in his.

I suddenly didn’t feel so terrified to tell him anymore. Nothing was going to happened to us, he’s still going to love me even if I cheat on him. We’re going to be okay, no matter what we will always be together.

“I cheated on you.”

Expecting Alex to be totally unphased by this was a stupid though in the first place, I don’t really know why I felt surprised when his doe eyes filled with horror.

He quickly sat up on the bed, grabbing anxiously at his hair and stared at the sheets he was sitting on. I leaned up too, reaching my hand up to hold his hot face, guilt making my stomach feel nauseous as I watched slow tears roll down his cheeks.

“Why would you do that to me?” he whispered, which had to be the most heartbreaking words I’ve ever heard in my life.

“I was drunk! I was so so so drunk, I didn’t even know what I was doing-”

“You cheated on me!!” he accused, pushing my hand away from him but I instantly grabbed his waist. He whined, trying to squirm away from me but I wrapped my other arm around him so he couldn’t move.

“I fucked up big time. I was lonely or some shit, and Rian told me to drink more and I did. I just woke up naked in bed with…” I trailed off as Alex shuddered as I explained in more detail and a sob ripped through his throat.

He laid his head down on my shoulder and cried, I felt my heart shatter in my chest as he struggled to get a hold of his breathing and hot tears started to soak my shirt.

“It meant absolutely nothing, I promise you. I don’t know how to make this better… but I still love you with absolutely all of my heart, nothing has changed between us! I don’t even remember it! I was so so so fucking drunk, I would never do that if I was sober, you know that, baby. I wasn’t thinking straight, it was such a stupid mistake. It meant nothing, I swear to you. I meant everything that I just said to you Lexy, I’d never leave you for any reason-”
I was interrupted by a pair of lips pressing against mine, which I kissed back immediately.

I kissed him back sweetly for 10 seconds but I pulled away, because I was pretty shocked by his reaction.

“I thought you’d hate me.” I mumbled, wiping a tear from his cheek carefully.

“I could never hate you, I love you too much.” he sniffled, making me smile and I kissed him again.

“You’re not mad?

“No, I’m mad, not really at you though… I trust you.” he admitted, leaning into me.

Relief washed through my whole body, it felt like a million pounds was instantly lifted off my shoulders.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking amazing. I’m so fucking lucky you’re mine, you have no idea. I’m so glad you understand. I just woke up so confused and the first thing I did was call you. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else, I knew that I needed to tell you right away because you deserved to know the truth. I felt so fucking guilty for being unfaithful to you.” I rambled, Alex just nodded while smiling and placed another kiss on my cheek.

“I get it, you were drunk and you lost control. It happens. I’m definitely not happy about it, but I just am really relieved that you were so honest with me.” he smiled.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked, hugging him and I could practically feel the smile on his face grow bigger.

“You could’ve start lying to me about it or something, I don’t know.” he shrugged.

“I’d never lie to you about anything, my whole fucking world revolves around you.” I reminded him, making him giggle.

“So you just woke up, with some girl in your bed… The both of you were naked.” Alex repeated, his gaze trailing down sadly.

“Hey, baby, just to be clear, you’re the only person I want to wake up naked next to. I want to wake up next to you every day, not anybody else. I love you.” I assured him, leaning forward to place a kiss on his head.

Alex smiled, looking up at me looking relieved and excited.

“I love you too, so much. Thank you for being such an amazing boyfriend.” he sat up and kissed me adorably.

“I would also like you to know that when I woke up, and I saw her, I was so surprised that I fell out of bed and onto the floor.” I told him, making him burst out into a fit of laughter.

“You’re perfect.” he muttered, reaching his arms up to hug me.

“You’ve always been the perfect one, baby.” I reminded him, he smirked and rolled his eyes.
“Okay, so maybe I am slightly more perfect for forgiving my boyfriend for cheating on me?” he giggled, looking cheekily up at me which made me laugh.

“Oh, someone's getting a little cocky now, huh?” I chuckled, making him laugh more.

I buried my face into the crook of his neck and showered the delicate skin with sloppy kisses, which only made him laugh more. I curled one of my arms around him and the other I placed on the mattress as I leaned down so he would lay on his back, and I would hover over him.

He lifted his legs that were covered with sweatpants up and wrapped them around my around my hips, locking his feet behind me and running his fingers through the back of my hair as he laughed hysterically as I grazed my fingers along the sensitive and ticklish skin of his ribcage.
I kissed down his neck and to his collarbone and felt his chest heaving when he released another fit of giggles.

“I love you so much,” I mumbled, leaning up to place my lips onto his.


-----


I blinked awake lazily, and instantly smiled so hard my cheeks started to ache.

Instead of the bright light of early morning filling my bedroom, it was practically pitch black, the only reason why I could see was because of the moon illuminating the night sky and shining through my window.

I ran my hand through my hair, letting out a tired chuckle and turned my body to face my boyfriend’s side of them bed, ready to wrap my arms around his and cuddle into his warm body.

I was soon reminded when my eyes laid on a mess of long raven black hair, and a unclothed girl with an hourglass figure that was only covered by a thin sheet, that I didn’t have a boyfriend.

Not anymore at least.

My heart sank and frustration ran through me as I realized that I was just dreaming.

I couldn’t help myself from groaning, slamming my fist down on the expensive mattress that Alex used to go on and on about how much he loved it.

Holly yawned, rolling over in her sleep and wrapped her arm around my bare body which made me stiffen and feel even more irritated. Her makeup was smudged from sleep and she reeked of some type of perfume she drenched herself in after he had sex.

I sighed, lifting up my arms to cross them behind my head, nothing but countless regrets filling my mind.

Notes

wowowowoowoow

I AM SO TIRED
I HAD SUCH A BUSY PAST THREE DAYS THIS HAS BEEN THE ONLY TIME I HAVE TIME TO POST I FEEL BAD

BUT I'M POSTING TWO CHAPTERS IN A ROW FOR YOU GUYS SO I HOPE THAT MAKES UP FOR IT

also i just noticed it's been more than 20 days since i've updated shut up and kiss me now
i gotta do that

oh my god i am half asleep i dont know how i am even ttypingggggg

but this chapter is basically about jack dreaming about what would happen if things worked out diffrently and he told alex right away

i think the jalex in this is super cute even though it's fake but THERE IS REAL JALEX COMING AND ITS COMING SOON AND FAST
AS IN NEXT CHAPTER

okay im gonna go do that
i really hope that you guys liked this chapter
ohhhhprkv im too tired to find a gif

no im not
never too tired for gifs


title credit- you're just a daydream away