Jack


To say that I was furious was an understatement.

The more I thought about it, how Kellin and Alex just magically seemed to come together making my worst nightmares a reality, the more I started to realize why this all was really happening.

When I first saw them together, I completely shut down. I’ve never been shot, but that’s how I imagine it feeling like. Now I was so pissed off I could barely see straight.

I started thinking, why Kellin?

They’ve never been friends, the only time I’ve even seen them next to each other was when they were grinding at Hayley’s birthday party, but they were both too drunk to know what they were doing.

Then it got me thinking about how Kellin always would check Alex out from afar while he was dating Vic, which Alex was obviously oblivious to, but I wasn’t. Kellin has always been a shitty boyfriend to Vic, flirting with other guys behind his back, but Vic ignored it because he knew it was just the way Kellin was.

I started fitting all the pieces together, remembering that Vic and Kellin broke up because Kellin was a bitch on their anniversary because the dinner reservation Vic made fell through or something, then Vic snapped because he was done with the bullshit and broke up with him.

Kellin was hurt because it was on their anniversary, and Vic was guilty that he did this but he was just tired of Kellin’s bitchy attitude. Vic told me himself he was going to get back together with Kellin a little while later!

But then Kellin and Alex started dating.

Once I assessed the whole situation and realized what Kellin is doing, I was ready to kill him.

Kellin’s just using Alex to make Vic jealous, to get back at him for breaking up with him.

I was fucking furious.

He had to chose ALEX. Of all fucking people to take advantage of, he chose my boyfriend!
A person, who was already sensitive and fragile, but who had also just had their heart broken.
Alex, who is an emotional train wreck right now, he choses to trick him into thinking that he wanted to be his boyfriend, to get back at Vic.

Kellin was using Alex’s agony for his own advantage, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more angry in my entire life.

Alex was hurt and felt unwanted right now, accepting anyone who was interested because he thought that I wasn’t anymore. He decided to trust a bastard who just wanted to use the fact that he was hot to make his boyfriend jealous.

I felt sick, know that Kellin was just acting sweet and gentle to Alex, pretending that he cares about him, when all he plans to do is makeout with him in front of Vic.

I wanted to walk up to Alex and tell him everything I had just discovered but he wouldn’t believe me, and I was too furious right now to break the truth to him.



Once spotted the lean, dark haired boy at his locker, my hand immediately clenched into a fist.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more pissed off in my life.

“Seriously Kellin?” I questioned him loudly, watching the smaller boy flinch and stare at me with wide eyes, but I could tell he was expecting me to come after him.

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and slammed his back hard into the locker making him cry out in pain. He lifted his arms up and showed his palms toward me in surrender.

“Look, Jack I-”

“I am going to fucking murder you. You think I wouldn’t realize what you're doing to him, you little shit? I thought you were my fucking friend!!!” I exclaimed. I held my hands so tightly in the collar of his shirt he nearly started choking, I was ready to beat the shit out of him till he’d never even think about going near Alex again but I needed to get all the information out of him first.

“W-We are friends, Jack!” he argued, his voice breaking with fear.

“Yet you're taking advantage of MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND!!!” I shouted, slamming his back into the locker again, listening to his head collide with the metal.

“Taking advantage? You’re the one who cheated Jack!!!” Kellin growled, surprisingly standing his ground.

“I know you’re just using him to make Vic jealous, but I’m not gonna let you do that fucked up shit to Alex. Leave him the fuck out of your stupid ass relationship problems, it’s not his fault that you're too much of a bitch that Vic doesn’t want to deal with your whining anymore. He deserves better-”

“What, and your better? Cheating, and lying ex boyfriend?! At least I was never a fucking cheater!!!” Kellin challenged, glaring at me through angry blue eyes.

“Yeah, you just checked Alex out while you were dating Vic! No wonder he dumped your desperate ass!” I spat, feeling rage running through my veins.

I’ve been wanting to put this asshole in his place for years, now’s the perfect time.

“And look who the he came running to!” Kellin rubbed in my face.

I clenched my teeth together in rage and put more pressure on his neck, making him inhale a sharp breath.

“He doesn’t fucking like you, you idiot. He’s heartbroken and confused, and you are taking advantage of that. You sick little fucking bastard, you think it’s fun to play with innocent people’s hearts?” I seethed, Kellin rolled his eyes.

“Who was the one who left the little bitch broken hearted, huh?” he smirked once he found a way to defend himself.

“Don’t fucking call him that.” I growled, pushing him harder into the locker, trying to keep my cool but I knew I was seconds away from losing it on him.

I can’t believe I let this happen. If I had known Alex was flirting with this asshole I’d have dragged him far away despite his protests. Now it’s too late because Alex is attached to a person he thinks he knows, and if I do anything he’ll just call me a jealous ex boyfriend.

“I can call my boyfriend, whatever the hell I want to call him. Would you rather me call him babe? What’d you used to call him? Baby? That’s cute.” Kellin sneered, trying to push my buttons by mocking the sensitive side I had when I was around Alex.

Good thing I knew exactly how to push his buttons too.

“You know what’d else be cute, Kellin? How’d you like it if I spend some special time with Vic?” I asked him with a smirk.

I could see the anger light up in Kellin’s eyes like fire. That’s his weak spot.

“You’d like it if I hang out with Vic some more, huh? I bet he’d be real cute while I’m fucking him in the backseat of my car.” I smirked, feeling evil but I couldn’t feel guilty.

Kellin tried lunging at me but I had him held down so he groaned loudly in anger and frustration.

“Fuck you, Barakat!!! Don’t fucking think about it!” he warned me, squirming against my tight grip on him.

I scoffed. He can’t even take the jealousy of me talking about being with his ex boyfriend, while I’m the one living in it.

“Feels shitty, doesn’t it?!” I challenged.

Kellin shook his head quickly and stared at me with eyes full of fury.

“Okay, fine. You do that, while I’m fucking your sexy boyfriend, oh wait, MY sexy boyfriend!” Kellin raised both of his eyebrows, looking like he was expecting me to burst into tears.

My whole body tensed up with the thought of Alex in bed with this douchebag.

“If you lay a fucking finger on him Kellin, I swear to fucking god I will-”

“Oh, my finger isn’t just going to be on him…” Kellin started with a new bout of confidence.
I had a feeling of what he was going to say next and my fist tightened until I could feel the veins popping out of my skin.

“It’s going to be up his tight little asshole-”

I didn’t even let him finish before my first collided with his face.

I watched him fall on the ground and lift his arms up to protect his face like the pussy he is.
If he can’t even handle himself in a fight, how is he going to handle taking care of Alex.
Alex needs someone to protect him from the assholes in this school, and this shithead is a fucking wimp.

I finally was able to do what I wanted to do since I first saw Kellin grinding with Alex, and what I’ve been imagining doing since I saw him kissing him.

I stood over Kellin, ripping his hands away from his head and punched him repeatedly in the face. I was taller and stronger than him, there was no way he ever stood a chance. Each time a bit of blood spilled from his nose, his lip split open, all I could see was more and more blood covering his face but I didn’t care.

He deserved this. Taking advantage of the sweetest person I’ve ever met?
Alex is a fucking angel, and life keeps handing him shit and I’m sick of it.

I’m pissed that I was a huge part of his problems, and I’d do anything to keep him safe from another bullet that would shoot right through his heart, and scar him forever.

People don’t get to just walk all over him because he’s nice, I’m not going to let it happen anymore.

I couldn’t hear anything, or feel anything. Rage had taken over my body completely turning me into someone I couldn’t recognize.

My knuckles were getting sore from pounding my fists into Kellin, but I didn’t fucking care.

“Dude, you’re going to kill him!!!”

I felt a firm hand grab my shoulder and pull me up, I was about to turn around and start swinging at them too until I realized it was Rian.

I recognized the feeling of of Zack grabbing both of my arms and holding them hard to my back, I struggled and fought to free myself from his constricting grip but he held on too tight.

“Fucking let me then!!! Get off me!! Let me at him!!” I argued, jerking away from Zack but failing to get away.

“We aren’t letting you go to jail for murder, dude.” Zack said in his usual calm and monotone voice, that usually relaxed me but not in this case.

Kellin was groaning in pain, holding onto his ribs and coughing. Blood was pouring from his nose, his lips that once kissed Alex’s were split in the middle, his cheeks were swollen from the punching and his eye was already starting to bruise.

Now that I see him now, bloody and bruised on the ground in agonizing pain, you would think that I’d regret nearly beating him to death.

Nope.

I knew exactly what I was fucking doing and I’d do it again if I got the chance.

I watched Kellin spit a mixture of saliva and blood onto the tiled ground.

I don't care what the fuck happens to him, he deserves it.

But the worst part is, Kellin still fucking won.

No matter how many times I punch that bastard in the face, Alex will still be his.

“If I see you near him again, you’re going to end up in the fucking hospital!!! Stay the fuck away from Alex!!” I threatened him, glaring at Kellin as he stared at me with equally angry eyes.

“Fucking make me, Barakat.” he challenged.

I immediately lunged at Kellin again making him flinch, only to be harshly pulled back by Zack who had a tight grip on my arms. I groaned in frustration as Zack started dragging me away, my fists itching to hit Kellin till he’d pass out.

“Fuck off, Zack!!!” I yelled in protest and he forced me to walk to the doors to go outside.

I made eye contact with Cass who was clutching onto Rian’s arm with wide, terrified looking eyes. A wave of guilt washed through me once I realized I had scared her, and I silently thanked any god that might’ve existed that Alex didn’t see me just then.

Rian pushed opened the doors and Zack dragged me outside into the pouring rian, I groaned as I felt water batter down on my face and tried my best to shake Zack off of me.

“Dude, stop!!” Zack scolded.

“Let me go!!!” I nearly screamed, trying to shove Zack down but I forgot that he’s a fucking mountain.

“No!! You’re just gonna run back in their and hurt Kellin more, and get expelled!” Rian argued, staring at me with angry eyes but I scoffed.

“Fucking worth it.”

I felt Zack shove me hard into the wall of the building, my chin scraped against the weathered and rough brick that made the school. He was still holding my arms uncomfortably to my back as I tried to get away from him.

“Get off me!!!” I yelled.

“Calm down, Jack!!!” Rian shouted, only reminding me of what had gotten me so pissed in the first place.

“I’m going to fucking kill him!!!” I growled, pushing back on Zack and tried to turn my body towards the door but he shoved me back harshly into the rough brick, so my cheek was pressed up against the cool and coarse surface.

The cold rain pounded down on me, my hair was soaked and I felt water droplets on my neck and rolling slowly down my spine. No matter how freezing this rain was it still didn’t cool me down.

“Jack, we’re going to let you go once you calm down. You’re have some kinda explosive episode and if we let you go now you’re just going to hurt people.” I heard Cass’s calming voice, for some reason the fact that she was trying to calm me down made me ever angrier.

I pushed back on Zack trying to get him to stumble backward so I could rip my arms away. Somehow he still had a strong hold on be despite the rain, I thought I’d be able to slip away but I’m sure I’ll have bruises he’s holding me so tight.

“Fuck off!!” I yelled, Zack groaned at how I was still fighting him.

I tugged on my arms again and Zack shoved me harder into the bricks.

“Oww, fuck!”

“Just take some deep breaths okay,” Cass told me.

“That’s not working Cass,” Rian sighed in disappointment.

“I don’t know, Alex is usually the one who calms him down when he’s mad, but it’s never really gotten this bad.” I heard Cass mumble, the mention of Alex’s name made me groan and squeeze my eyes shut tightly.

“Then someone get Alex,” Zack demanded.

“Don’t you fucking dare get Alex.” I exclaimed. I couldn’t even bare the thought of him seeing me like this. First of all, he’d be fucking terrified, and I don’t want him to see me so low.

The only people who have ever seen me like this are Rian, Cass and Tay. These used to happen when I was a sophomore, I got into fights a lot and I was trying to deal with life without supervision of my parents. But, they’ve never been this bad.

“Take deep breaths Jack, it’ll work okay? Just fucking chill.” Rian told me, placing his hand on my shoulder making me flinch.

I groaned, struggling to inhale a deep breath, and exhaling quickly. All this shit reminded me of Alex’s panic attacks, except I just get fucking violent. I would always just hold Alex and tell him that it would pass, kiss his face, wipe his tears, and help him take deep breaths.
I gasped for oxygen to reach my lungs, and forced myself to slowly blow the air out of my nose. I continued this for a few more minutes before I let out a sigh, thankful that my heartbeat was no longer beating painfully fast.

I didn’t even notice there were tears mixed with rain running down my cheeks.

My heart sped up again with panic as I realized that I was crying.

I struggled to catch my breath as I found myself even more worked up before, but I didn’t been overcome with rage anymore. I just felt broken.

I felt Zack let go of me, so I leaned my arms up against the building, pressing the top of my head into the wall and sobbed. I was so sick of crying. This is probably what Alex felt like.
I always felt horrible when he started crying but now I can finally relate to him.

I finally feel as hurt as Alex has been for so long, I understand why he’d cry so much because now I can’t remember the last day I didn’t cry over losing the love of my life.

“O-Oh gosh, oh Jack.” Cass gasped.

I could feel a hand rubbing my back and I knew it was Rian.

I could hear Cass start to cry, Zack started sniffling and Rian was inhaling shaky breaths in attempt to keep himself together.

I fucking made everyone cry now, great.
I love him so fucking much but he’s in the arms of some other boy who is using him.

Why did I have to cheat?

I never meant for any of this to happen.

Notes

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
wow
wowowowow

EVERYONE WHO DIDN'T TRUST KELLIN
YOU WERE RIGHT
HE'S A DICK

im sure none of you trusted kellin 100% which is understandable and what you should've done cuz HE'S A BITCHHHH

i've been waiting to write this FOR SO LONG
CUZ IVE BEEN DYING
I JUST WANTED YOU GUYS TO KNOW KELLIN ISNT AS SWEET AS HE SEEMS

ffuckkkck
jackkk
nfnfjfvjevlervkreiv

im overwhelmed by this story im sorry

but guys
there is a lil bit of jalex in the next chapter
okay its more then a little bit
JALEX
THERE IS JALEX IN THE NEXT CHAPTER FUCK IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE IT
IT'LL BE POSTED ASAP

i know i said i would post this yesterday, and it is not yesterday
i wanted to post another chapter of Shut Up and Kiss Me Now at the same time as this because that story is much much happier and funnier than this one
and this chapter is sad cuz sad and angry jack

SO IF YOU WANNA FEEL MORE UPLIFTED CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORY LMAO CUZ THIS IS DEPRESSING

jack has cried so much
he's cried every chapter for the past 5 chapters i think
thats so sad
JAACK
MY BABE

AND HE ALMSOT KILLED KELLIN
I LOVE THAT
I LOVE MAD JACK

and I LOVE KELLIN IN REAL LIFE
BUT FUCK YOU KELLIN




Title credit- I'm So Mad at Myself