Jack


This was going to be a lot harder than I thought.
I can’t take lying to him right to his face like this. I can’t believe I did this to him.
I feel absolutely horrible about everything.

I’m usually pretty good at lying, not that it’s a good talent to have in life, but I am.
I could lie to anyone to their face but I just cant to Alex.
He’s my boyfriend, I promised him I would never lie to him.

Looking him in his big, brown doe eyes, and acting like nothing happened was torture.
He’s so innocent and sweet, and has no idea about the countless promises I’m breaking right now.

He’s my teddy bear. Just imagining his reaction makes me sick to my stomach.

I could picture the tears rolling down his soft pale cheeks, his body trembling, staring at me with total heartbreak in his eyes.
I can’t see that, it will kill me.
I can’t do that to him, I won't.
It’s better off this way.

Maybe I’m selfish, but some people never get the chance at this kind of love that we have.
Somehow I found my soulmate, I’m not letting him slip through my fingers because I made one drunken mistake

Rian says I need to own up to my mistakes
Cass says the most important part of a relationship is honesty
But, I can’t do this
I love him, i love him so much I can barely breath without him near me.
He needs me to keep him going just as much as I need the same from him.
I will never tell him.

Alex Gaskarth will never know I cheated on him.


I feel terrible all the time now anyway

I can barely eat, I can’t sleep, i'm just worried about lying to Alex, and if somehow it will slip from my mouth, or someone else’s mouth, or if rumors will spread in school about me and Tay.

The last thing that I want is for Alex to find out by overhearing it by a stranger in the hallway

I feel like I’m living a nightmare that’s impossible to wake up from.

I feel guilty constantly
I feel guilty hugging him, I feel guilty touching him, I feel guilty kissing him, because I know he is not the last person that I did any of those things with.

When he told me he loved me it felt like a punch in the gut.
He shouldn’t care about me, he deserves so much better than an asshole like me.

I literally did the one thing I promised him I would never do
This was the reason he doubted our relationship from the very start
He was convinced I would cheat on him but I promised him I would prove him wrong
I thought I did for a while.

I looked up to see Cass walking by me, the second we made eye contact she glared and shook her head with anger.

“Cass,” I started, walking up to her.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Jack.” she told me.

“I thought you would understand-”

“I thought you changed for him, but I was wrong. I guess people never change, you’ll always be a cheating douchebag, that doesn’t give a fuck about the people he sleeps with-”

“Don’t say that I don’t care about Alex, I love him! I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Just think of how much easier it would be to tell him now, Alex will understand. He isn’t an idiot. He knows that you love him, and he understands that people make drunken mistakes.” Cass argued.

“He will be devastated, Cass! He won’t understand. He’s going through enough at home as it is, I don’t want him to to doubt our relationship or love for him, especially not now, not ever. I know him better than you do, he’s going to blow it out of proportion, when life would be better for everyone if we just forgot about it.” I explained, trying to get her to understand my side of the story.

“Alex is my friend! I’m not going to let you stab him in the back like this, Jack!” she exclaimed.

“I’m protecting him!”

“He has a right to know,” she growled.

“This will crush him, when there’s no reason for him to worry. Nothing has changed between the two of us. We both love each other the same, it’s not like I’m having an affair.” I scoffed.

Cass shook her head in pure disappointment. I knew some people wouldn’t understand, but I thought she would.

“Brendon is going to find out.” she told me. I sighed nervously, and ran a hand through my hair.
If Brendon knows, then my entire plan is ruined.

“No, he won’t.” I tried to convince myself. It would be so easy for him to discover what really happened that night, and it would take him seconds to tell Alex what went on with me and Tay.

“You don’t think Tay told Hayley about what you two did that night? They are best friends, and of course, Hayley would tell her boyfriend-”

“No-”

“Nothing is going to stop Brendon from telling Alex the truth if he finds out, and he’s going to hear about it from his best friend, instead of his own ‘loving’ boyfriend. That’s when Alex will never forgive you.” Cass told me.

The words almost physically hurt me.
I walked her watch away in shock.
I should tell Alex now, if he heard it from Brendon, Alex would never speak to me again.
But… I can’t do that to him.

I didn’t mean to cheat on him!!! I didn’t want to!
I wanted to be loyal to him until the day I died.
I would’ve been happy only having him for the rest of my life, but I had to ruin everything.

I swear, I’m loyal to him.
There isn’t anyone that compares to him, so why would I want anyone else?
But I just can’t hurt him. I won’t.

I need to stick to my plan, if it works out, everything will be exactly how it was.

I knew that my friends were going to start picking sides, I really didn’t want to divide them like this.

I don’t want to think about what Zack is going to do with me once he finds out I slept with his ex girlfriend. He still doesn’t even know the guy that Tay has a huge crush on, nobody does.

I wish she slept with that guy instead of me.

“Jack!”

I heard my name being called, and speaking of the devil, it was Tay. She walked over to me with her head tilted down in shame, like she was a bad dog that just ripped up the garbage.

“Um, how are you doing?” I asked awkwardly. I don’t know what we are now.
I don’t know if she hates me, if we are still friends, if we are more than friends. No clue.

“I’m uh… not okay, but that doesn’t matter. I need to talk to you.” she told me, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes.
Damn, I keep blowing her off for this thing she wants to talk to me about. I have been ever since the party, and it sounds pretty important.

“Okay, spill.” I told her, putting my hands over my chin, pretending to be completely interested, but mostly wanting to make her laugh. I hope she’s not pissed at me like everyone else in the world.

“Jack… I’m going to be serious right now, and you really have to listen.” Tay told me, her eyebrows pressing together in frustration.

“Okay, okay.” I chuckled, leaning against her locker as she stood in front of me.
She can just blurt it out, I don’t understand this big build up.

“So I’ve been trying to tell you this for a long time, well, for months now… But I tried to gorget about it ever since we uh… slept together…. But I seriously can’t back what I’m feeling anymore. Jack I’m in-”

She was rudely interrupted by my ear piercing ringtone, and I reached in my pocket to check who it was.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sure it’s nobody.” I told her as I checked caller ID.

“It’s Alex, isn’t it?” she mumbled. She was right, it was my boyfriend.

“Give me 2 seconds,” I promised, placing a hand on her shoulder as I answered the phone, hearing her sigh with disappointment. This was a very bad time Alex.

“Jack where are you? It’s 2:30!” I heard his frustrated voice over the phone.

Oh shit. Schools over, and I’m bringing Alex back home with me.
Plus, it’s January and freezing outside.
“Sorry baby, I’ll be right there.” I told him, grabbing my keys that were in the pocket of my leather jacket.

“Hurry, I’m cold!” he exclaimed, and hung up the phone.
I sighed, looking down at Tay who gave me an ‘are you kidding me,’ look.

“I was in the middle of something kinda important…” she muttered, raising her eyebrows at me like I was just going to leave Alex in the cold by my locked car.

“He’s waiting for me, and he’d kill me if he found out I was blowing him off because I was talking to you. I’m sorry, but we can’t let him get suspicious, remember?” I reminded her.

“I know.” she said sadly, looking crestfallen as she ran a hand through her fringe.

I sighed, wrapping both my arms around her in a hug, she quickly hugged me back and pressed her face in between my jacket.

“Look, whatever you want to talk about sounds really important, and we can talk about it. We just have to work past this whole drunk sleeping together thing until it blows over, and everything will be back to normal. I’m here for you, so don’t worry about anything, okay?” I told her, rubbing my hand on her back trying to calm her down because she seemed pretty upset.

I have to remember that I not only screwed up my relationship with Alex, but was close to ruining a great friendship I had with Tay.

I chuckled as I unwrapped my arms from Tay and she kept hugging me, I looked down at her and she was practically shaking, her face was a pale white, and her brown eyes were wide.

“Okay, Jack.” she nodded.

Notes

this story is SOOO dramatic
like every chapter is basically a soap opera

so I THINK IM PRETTY MUCH BACK FOR GOOD NOW GUYS
i cant promise that i will post everyday, but i will try my best

and all the crap in my life is okay now and you guys made me feel super super happy by reading your comments :D your comments literally always make me happy though cuz it shows you guys actually like my story lol

SO YES REMEMBER TO COMMENT
AND
i wanna see what you guys think about tay and jack
do you like them, do you not
she keeps getting interupted when she's trying to tell jack she loves him which is FRUSTRATING

ANDD
i also want to see if you are on Cass's side in the argument, or Jack's
do you think Alex should just know what happened
or do you think that Jack is doing the right thing because the truth hurts

leave it down in the comments :D
next chapter is happier than this one, it's not everyone arguing lol

ANDDDDD
I HAVE ANOTHER NEW STORY
I KNOW, IM CRAZY
but its true, i just have many ideas and love to write
it's like a sort of love triangle between zack, jack and alex
its another high school fic so if you like those here is the linkkk
http://www.alltimelowfanfiction.com/Story/85322/Shut-Up-And-Kiss-Me-Now/
the prologue is up now, and it's not great, but once i post a few chapters i think you guys will really really like it

OKAY
IM GONNA KEEP WRITING CUZ IM IN A WRITING MOOD
BYE

have a gif of my favorite person ever




Title Credit- Cinderblock Garden