Can I Say I'm Sorry?

A few years had passed and a lot had changed. I was now in a band instead of being a studio musician and the boys were continuing to get bigger and bigger. They had sold out several arenas and were easily selling out most shows. It was amazing to see them constantly growing and touring almost nonstop. Alex and I had broken up but were friends. As close as we were we just weren’t meant to be. He had been dating several other girls on and off. I was currently laying in the back lounge typing away on a blog that I ran in my free time.

“Hey Shay,” Zack said, sitting beside me.

“What’s up,” I asked, looking up.

“It’s crazy don’t you think? I mean, a few years ago this was just a dream. I mean, we were thinking we might have to give up but now, look where we are.”

“I’ve thought about that. I remember you guys telling me how on edge you were before Don’t Panic. I mean, when I made the switch from studio, which was a pretty sweet job that I’ve had since late senior year, to being in a band it was really unsettling. I kept wondering why I did it and now I’m still sitting here and I get to do what I love.”

“Guys,” Alex said running into the back room.

“What,” Zack and I asked at the same time.

“I’m gonna marry her.”

“I think you should do it. I’ve seen how happy she makes you,” I told him.

“That means a lot Shay, thanks.”

I watched Alex leave and I smiled slightly, I was happy for him, I’d never seen him this happy. The way he talks about her is beyond adorable. I see how his eyes light up when he talks about her. The way his smiled grows when he’s on the phone with her or texting her. I realized that’s the way my girlfriend looked at me which reminded me that I should call her. I decided I would after I finished my blog post, while on tour I was always writing about road life. When need be I would go on tour with friend’s tours as a tech which was still some of the most fun.

I looked up and saw Rian walk in too. I heard Jack and Alex yelling up front and I couldn’t quite tell what they were saying. Rian sat across from me so I decided I should at least sit up. I saved my progress and closed my laptop, putting it on the table. I started playing with my hair in my left hand because it was my nervous tick.

“Are you ever gonna tell him,” Rian asked.

“What on Earth are you talking about Ri,” I asked.

“He has a point Shay,” Zack added.

“Obviously I’m missing something that is going to the male mind but not mine.”

“I saw the way you looked at him when he left, you miss him.”

“Oh sure Zack; we dated twice, we don’t work together. We aren’t meant to be together that’s just what happens. It’s life, he wasn’t the one and that’s just how life is.”

“And when are you going to accept that?”

I groaned and stood up. They had no idea what they were talking about. We were happy right now and we were both fine with it. We were best friends still and I was happy for him. He was going to marry a girl that was going to treat him right. I was happy with my girlfriend and he was happy with his. Why did it matter that we had a history? I was walking up front to where the other guys were and of course, Jack was in his underwear.

“Really Jack, is staying dressed too difficult,” I asked.

“Oh shut up Shay,” he said.

I walked toward the cabinet and pulled out Jack’s cereal and started eating it. He just looked at me with his hands on his hips. Our friendship had been rebuilt after everything, I knew that what I had done was wrong but it was now in our past, we had moved on and it didn’t matter anymore. He sat next to me and ate his cereal with me. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at Jack, he was always childish.

“You guys are ridiculous,” Alex said, rolling his eyes.

“It’s Cookie Crisp so fuck off Alex,” Jack replied.

“Fucking children.”

“You’re one to talk Alex, I’m so much more responsible than you,” I replied.

“In your fucking dreams,” he replied.

“Can you take your couple fight somewhere else,” Jack asked.

I was tired of hearing about us in a couple’s context, I did not love Alex Gaskarth and he did not love me. Everyone kept saying differently however we did not love each other, we hadn’t loved each other since the week before we broke up. That’s just how life goes, things like that happen daily but for some reason they didn’t want me to forget that we had been together.

I looked up and saw the giant smile on Alex’s face as he read the text he just got. My mind shot back to when he used to get that smile from something I did. I smiled a little at that memory; it was such a simpler time. Except it wasn’t simpler at all, they were having problems with their record and I was always away and things were far from simple. Really, all I wanted was to go back and see Emma because I missed her while I was out on tour. She was a vet so she couldn’t really come with. It would be nice to see her smiling face again though; I had truly fallen for her.

I smiled thinking about the fact that Lex was getting married. Lisa was a good girl and she was going to treat him right. She was exactly what he deserved and I had no problem admitting that because it was true. I smiled softly realizing that it was true, I did not love Alex Gaskarth. He was my best friend and that’s all we were going to be which was more comforting then being in a relationship with someone. Even after we fall out I could still have him by my side.

Notes

And y'all are gonna hate me for this ending but I really like it. It has a lot of finality and everyone is happy. I really hope y'all enjoyed these two stories and thank you for dealing with how sparatic my uploads can be. I did this in a break from working on a bunch of music so I hope y'all like it!

Rate and comment if you enjoyed :)