Thanks To You

"Wait." I mumbled, holding my hands over my face. "Oh fuck."

I moaned lowly, hands moving from my face to tangle in soft hair. I stared up through bleary eyes, parting my lips silently as wet heat continued to take me in inch by inch.

"Mm." I hummed, fighting to keep my mouth closed as I glanced down.

I gawked, letting out a strangled groan as I watched my dick dissapear down Jack's throat as he tried to get all of me. His hands immediately pried my hips down when I twitched, thighs trembling in pleasure.

"Yeah baby." I gasped, tugging his hair roughly out of instinct when he swallowed around me.

I whimpered, feeling him let up and use a hand to stroke what wasn't fitting in his mouth. Closing my eyes, my stomach lurched and the tingling through my body intensified. I grunted, prying my eyes open to watch the ceiling spin above me. My body felt like it was moving with it, but I know it's pressed into the matress while Jack sucks me off like a fucking expert.

"Oh shit." I hissed, feeling my thighs tense as my gut practically lit on fire. "Mm."

I bit my tongue, desperately trying to keep this going as long as possible. I don't want it to end, but I'm pretty sure I'm cumming. I growled, leaning up just in time to feel his lips brush my balls as he deepthroated me again. I let out some kind of sound, using my right hand to help me lean up while my left pressed him down harder. I slipped further down his throat, soaking in the beautiful sound of him gagging before the sudden wet tightness was too much on my throbbing cock.

"Uhn, fuck!" I moaned, letting go of his hair to steady my twitching body.

I shuddered, whining when he pulled off just as I began shooting out long spurts of cum. I tried to clear my vision, letting my mouth drop open while he pumped me through my orgasm. I hissed, gut tingling harshy as I continued to watch my cum cover his face.

"Oh shit, Jack." I panted, falling limp back on to the mattress.

I sucked in deep breaths, lifting my hips just enough for him slip the briefs back up my hips. I moaned lightly, feeling a light weight over my hips before Jack was leaning over me to look into my eyes. I moaned, taking in his dirty smile as he licked his cum filled lips before taking his finger and swiping some spunk from his cheek. He licked his lips again before slowly sticking his finger into his mouth with a small moan.

"Fuck, you're fucking sexy." I breathed, watching him continue to clean his face off. "You try'na get me up again?"

"Maybe." He giggled, pulling his t-shirt over his head and wiping the rest off. "How else are you gonna fuck me?"

"Fuck you?" I smirked, gripping his hips. "You're a bad boy, Jay."

"I wanna be bad, you make bad look so good." He panted, leaning down and tugging on my lipring. "I've got things on my mind, I never thought I would."

"I'm bad?" I hummed, grunting when he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth.

"You make bad look so good." He purred, nipping my lip roughly.

I moaned, sliding my hands down to squeeze his nice and firm ass while he shoved me back into the matress. I sucked in a breath, unable to surpress the grunt forcing it's way up my throat as he circled his ass against me.

"I'm loosing all my cool." I sang, furrowing my eyebrows when he stared down at me with another dirty grin.

Why am I singing?

"I'm about to break the rules." He joined in, voice surpringly girly.

I wanna be bad, you make bad look so good
I've got things on my mind, I never thought I would
I, I wanna be bad, you make bad feel so good
I'm losing all my cool, I'm about to break the rules-

I jumped, prying my burning eyes open to see the ceiling spin above me while dull light flooded through my blurred vision. I hummed, rolling on my stomach and nearly falling off of the couch when music continued to blast into my ears.

"Fuckin' dream?" I grumbled, squinting over at the tv across from me to see Wila Ford shaking her sexy ass on Pandora.

A dream about sex with Jack and him turning into this bitch? What the hell did I take before passing out?

I groaned, pushing myself up until both of my feet planted on the ground. I blinked hard, holding my head in my hands while I waited for the room to stop spinning. A few seconds later, I could feel the dull aching in my temples and sighed. Running my hands through my sweaty hair, I grimaced at the oily feel and wiped my hand on my briefs.

"Fuck." I mumbled when my hand met more wetness and looked down to see wetness soaking through the thin material. "Damn."

I wiped my hand on the couch instead, looking around and taking in the mess of the living room with a shrug. My gaze landed on a water bottle next to my foot with a note next to it. Leaning down, I grabbed the bottle and glanced at the note. I squinted at the paper, barely able to recognize my chicken scratch. To hungover me with a smiley drawn next to it. I scoffed at myself, untwisting the water and bringing it to my lips. I tossed my head back, chugging a few gulps in one go. The burn in my throat and nasty taste filling my senses had me choking on air as I fought to swallow the liquid. I gagged harshly, stomach clenching uncomfortably as the vodka soaked into my weak system.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed, feeling the burn come right back up my throat.

I let out some kind of mix between a cry and a groan, squeezing my watering eyes shut as I threw myself back into the couch. I moaned in misery, stomping my foot before slowly setting the bottle back on the ground carefully. Drunk me is a fucking asshole. I coughed, swallowing thickly and searching around me for anything to help get rid of the strong taste on my tongue. I cheered, finding a half eaten airhead under my thigh. I grabbed it and brought it to my mouth, biting a nice sized chunk of the blue taffy before dropping it back on the couch.

"Mm." I sighed in relief, soaking in the artificial blueberry flavor.

I leaned my elbows on to my knees, looking over to the tv when the song switched to No Scrubs. I blinked slowly, already feeling the short amount of alcohol taking effect due to nothing else being in my system. I'm not gonna lie to myself though. I feel better already. With that in mind, I picked the bottle back up and brought it to my lips. I chugged another good portion, hurriedly shoving the rest of the airhead into my mouth and chewing quickly.

"Ah!" I hissed out, standing to my feet. "Woo!"

I shook my head, laughing as I stumbled to the side. I hissed when my ankle clunked on something hard and looked down. My eyes widened and I grinned when I came across the black bag chilling there. A bag full of whisky and Smirnof.

"Jackpot." I chuckled, stepping over it and making my way into the kitchen.

I coughed in disgust, the smell of something rotting taking over my tingling senses. I grimaced, looking around the kitchen slowly.

"Well, damn." I muttered, taking in all of the dirty dishes piled on the couter.

I widened my eyes, eyes catching sight of the opened refrigerator door and the dark pile in front of it.

"Oh shit." I grumbled, walking over to it.

I bit my lip, bending down to look inside. The carton of milk was ripped open, crusting all over the rest of the empty shelves all the way down to the opened drawer at the bottom. I cringed, glancing inside to find milk mixed into an opened salami package with sliced tomatoes all over the place. Then my gaze fell to my feet where a chunky mess stuck to the tiles mixed in with syrup and cheese slices.

"What the fuck?" I gawked, ignoring all of the different smells going on as I kicked the drawer closed with my foot before lightly pressing the door closed too.

I crouched down, covering my mouth when the hint of vomit hit my nose. I gagged, standing up straight and looking down at the pile. I'm guessing I tried to eat some nasty shit last night because it's definitely all sitting in front of me right now. Shuddering, I stepped over to the counter and scanned all of the plates. Half of a tomato, mayonaise, mustard, hotdogs, pepporoni, more cheese, and ranch? How the hell did all of this end up on seven different plates? Shrugging, I rubbed my nose and looked over the clock in the microwave. No wonder it's kinda dark. It's after five.

Sighing, I walked back out into the living room and plopped on to the sunken cushions. Nodding in approval, I took the last few sips of the bottle in my hand and dropped it by my feet before leaning over to grab the glass pipe off the floor. I scooped it up along with my lighter, grinning when I found the small bowl already packed with green. Bringing it to my lips, I flicked the lighter and breathed in deeply. Dropping the lighter by my thigh, I sunk back into the couch and held my breath as the drugs seeped into my lungs. I waited another few seconds, feeling a slight burn before I parted my lips enough to exhale.

I repeated the process until there was nothing left to smoke, letting the bowl drop on the cushions next to me. Looking around, I nodded along to the music filling the apartment while I searched around for my phone. I found it jammed in between the shitty cushions and pulled it out easily. Breathing deeply, I let myself fall to my side when everything started really hitting me. I turned my phone on and squinted at the fucked screen, barely able to make out all of the unopened messages listed. Missed messages because I'm an asshole avoiding life.

"What am I doing to myself?" I wondered allowed, watching the tv turn into two tvs as I stared forward.

I frowned, feeling a wave of sadness hit me like a brick. I groaned, rolling on to my back and draping my arm over my eyes when they burned. Biting my lip, I tried to breathe slowly to keep the water from pooling to the corners of my eyes. I miss my friends. I miss Jack. Just thinking about him had my stomach flip in dispair. I longed for him so hard. I just want him so much, it's getting unbearable. Getting drunk helps me out so much when I'm with Mike and them, but it doesn't feel so good now. I shouldn't have gotten fucked up by myself.

I groaned, running my hands over my face when the fucking water fell from my eyes like a little bitch. I sniffed harshly, whining to myself when I felt my phone vibrate under my side. I slammed my hands down into the cushions angrily and flipped on to my stomach, pulling my phone up to my face. I pressed the green button and brought it to my face with a scowl.

"Yo." I answered, forcing the lump down my throat.

"Alex! I've been trying to get a hold of you for so long!" Casey exclaimed in relief. "I thought you were dead!"

"I might as well be." I scoffed, ignoring the pain in my ribs where the pipe was digging into me.

"Don't say that!" She scolded. "What is wrong with you? You sound funny. I wanted to call and apologize because I never meant for you to get expelled-"

"Well you did." I interrupted, hearing myself slur a little bit.

"Are you serious?" She asked incredulously. "I told Mr. Suggs you skipped class because you pissed me off. It's your own fault that you got expelled because you're the one who showed up drunk off your ass."

"I knew what I was doing." I lied easily, wiping my runny nose on my arm lazily. "I could care less okay?"

"Are you drunk now?" She accused.

"What's it to you?" I retorted bitterly.

"Alex-"

"Thanks for all the fucks." I slurred, feeling drunker by the second. "Don't call me unless you want one."

I hung up, tossing it on the ground before going back to my pity party. I don't now why this is happeneing to me. I don't know why I got such strong feelings for my best friend, if I can even call him that anymore. I have no idea where we stand after I sent him those horrible pictures. All I know is I'm stuck in funk and there's no getting out of it.
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"C'mon Tone." Mike pushed. "S'fun."

"I don't need to get high to have fun." He retorted, crossing his arms over his chest before looking between us. "In fact, I think you need a break from this shit."

"S'just having a good time." I chimed in, leaning my back against the car door as I twitsed around in the backseat.

"Oh yeah, it's so much fun not knowing what you're doing." He snapped, from the driver seat. "You don't even know what you've been doing for weeks, Alex. When's the last time you hung out with any of your friends besides Mike?"

"Tony, babe. Chill out." Mike told calmly.

"I will not." He hissed, pointing between us. "You're both on the road to fucking going to the hospital if you keep up all of this shit. I honestly think you and Alex need a break from each other because all you really do is egg each other on."

"It's not a big deal." I replied lazily, taking the bong Mike held out to me again.

"Do you even hear yourself?" He laughed incredulously as I took another long hit. "You're going to end up killing yourself."

"Babe, I think you're thinking too hard about this." Mike spoke sternly. "Alex isn't going to kill himself, you're acting like we're fucking addicts."

I opened my mouth, allowing the smoke to flow from my lips as I rolled my eyes. Damn, Tony's a mood-killer. Exactly why I didn't want him to tag along in the first place, but of course Mike can't go anywhere without him. I can't blame him though, Tony's his other half. I bit my cheek, fighting to keep the scowl from forming on my face. It's not their fault I'm bitter and jealous. It's not their fault I've got feelings for my straight best friend and it's definitely not their fault I'm ignoring everyone besides them.

"Um, you are." Tony pointed out, sighing heavily. "We're in a parking lot McDonald's and you guys are drinking whiskey."

I laughed loudly, making Mike join in because he was right. Looking down to my lap, I squinted in the darkness and found the glass bottle of Jack shoved between my thighs.

"I don't know why you two are laughing, fucking idiots." He hissed. "I'm getting some food for you guys before you get sick and then you're both going home to eat and sleep it off."

I laughed, definitely feeling the effects from the pot intensifying from how much we've smoked the past few hours. I could feel the dopey grin glued to my face as I slouched in the seat enough to make my shirt ride up. I gawked, looking down to find purple and yellow patches all over my exposed stomach before my gaze attempted to focus on the black and white checkered pattern of the button up. The glow from the lights in McDonad's helped me see easier, but it was still weird as hell looking.

"Shit." I grinned, blinking hard when the car started moving again. "Mike, my shirt man."

I patted my chest, letting my head loll to the side to see his reaction. He squinted his eyes before widening them and blinking.

"Damn, tha's trippy!" He exclaimed, leaning closer. "Like a hypnotizer!"

"Can I get two number fives both with a Coke?" Tony odered loudly. "That'll be all."

"Please pull around for your total." The guy at the speaker called out.

"Dude, you skin is purple." Mike pointed out, poking one of the bruises while Tony pulled the car around.

"Yeah, man." I winced. "My dad kicked the shit outta me after he got the call about school."

I bit my lip, trying and failing not to laugh harder at his shocked expression. The muscles in my stomach clenched uncomfortably, but I just couldn't stop the laughs from coming.

"Alex, that's not funny." Tony chimed in quietly, waving his hand for me to shut up.

"S'fine." I shrugged, finally calming down.

I grimaced, sitting up right and pulling at the hem of the shirt to get it back down. Reality sunk in just enough for me to realize I've started the word vomit phase of being high and before I could even think, words were tumbling out of my mouth.

"I'm used to it so it's kinda funny." I admitted, grabbing the bong from Mike. "I don't even know where he is. He hasn't went home since it happened I don't think."

I took a long hit, handing it back to him with a shake of my head. Shit's hitting me hard now so I need to cool it. He nodded back, surprisingly understanding my actions. I licked my lips, grabbing the whiskey from between my legs and taking a gulp. I swallowed easily, moaning as the smell of french fries filled my nostrils.

"Okay assholes, I got your food." Tony announced. "How do I get back to your house, Alex?"

"Not there." I refused, grabbing the bag he held over the middle council.

"I'm not taking you anywhere else." He denied, turning out on the main road. "If you go back with Mike then you'll both keep going with Vic and I'm not going to take care of both of you back at my house. Not with my parents home."

I scowled to myself, jeasouly flashing through me once more. I wonder if I'll ever have someone that will love me like Tony loves Mike. Will I ever be good enough for someone to want? To have someone to take care of me? Shaking my head, I opened the bag and pulled a handful of fries out. I shoved them into my mouth, chewing thoughtfully while one person rang through my mind. Jack used to take care of me all the time. I miss him so much. I gasped, picturing a lightbulb flick on in my mind when the greatest idea ran through my head.

"Jack!" I grinned with my mouthful, clutching the whiskey tightly when we turned.

Maybe Jack will take care of me again. Maybe I can talk to him and he won't hate me anymore.

"I don't think Jack wants you over like this, Alex." He hinted, turning the radio off. "Don't you want to sleep in your bed?"

"Nope!" I exclaimed excitedly, swallowing. "I want Jack."

I pulled more fries from the bag, muching on them while my head spun. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back on the cool window in attempt to cool my warm face down.

"Where does he live?" He sighed, giving in.

I grinned, spouting out the address I remember by heart. Once he got it, I relaxed again and looked over at Mike. He smiled back at me, still looking at me weirdly. I sucked my lipring into my mouth, watching his eyes look me over before he turned towards his own window.

"Are you sure he won't be pissed off about you showing up drunk?" Tony inquired, turning on to the familiar sidestreet. "It is ten at night, in case that slipped your mind."

"S'fine." I nodded, taking another shot of whiskey. "Mm, not yummy together."

"Dammit, Alex!" Tony scolded, reaching his hand back. "Give me that! I didn't even know you still had that back there, you little shit."

"My mouths dry." I pouted, keeping the bottle to my chest.

"Give me the Jack Daniels." He ordered, wiggling his hand around. "I got you a Coke."

I wiped my mouth, leaning forward and pushing the bottle into his waiting hand without another thought.

"Thank you." He praised, holding back a medium sized cup. "Here."

"Mm." I hummed, pulling it fromm his grasp.

I sat back comfortabley, sticking the straw between my lips and slurping up a mouthful. I moaned at the coldness of it running down my sore throat instead of the lukewarm whiskey.

"Tatses better." I commented in relief.

"I bet." Tony retorted, pulling into a side street.

I squinted out the window, feeling nerves run through me when I recognized the houses through the darkness as we passed by. He pulled into a driveway and parked the car, turning around in his seat.

"Should I go up to the door with you?" He asked.

"Nah." I stated, pushing the door open slowly.

I tucked my drink into my elbow and pulled my fries from the bag along with my burger. Once I held everything close to me, I managed to slip out of the car and get the door closed without falling over.

"Please be quiet." Tony called from his window.

I laughed, stumbling up the porch and stopping in front of the door. I chewed my lipring, staring at the doorbell for a few seconds before my finger reached out and poked it. I breathed in deeply, feeling lightheaded and heavy while waited. I stumbled back, struggling to keep myslef from falling over just as the front door was pulled open.

"Hi." I blurted, my stomach flipping pleasantly.

Angry butterflies tore through my stomach when I met Jack's eyes and before I could stop myself, I was stepping into the house and pulling him into me the best I could with my hands arms full. I breathed him in, unable to keep the grin from my face when his arms nudged my back.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, pushing me away.

I frowned, clearing my throat while I watched him close the front door. I clicked my tonuge, rolling my lips at the weird sensation of my tongue ring moving around. His hair was straight and teased to perfection and the worn symbol of the Baltimore Raven's over his chest had my heart thumping rapidly. He's wearing my hoodie again.

"Alex?" He pressed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I miss you." I laughed nervously. "Uh..I wanted um. I needed to see you?"

"Are you high?" He questioned, giving me an expectant look.

"No." I said quickly, shaking my head. "Nope. I am not."

"Your eyes are telling me a different story." He sighed, motioning towards the stairs. "Everyone is sleeping. You could've woke them up ringing the damn doorbell."

"Sorry." I mumbled, looking down at my feet.

"Let's go in the kitchen, I guess." He suggested, pointing behind me. "You can tell me why you randomly showed up on my doorstep after ten o'clock at night."

I nodded, rolling my tongue around in my mouth while I clumsily kicked my shoes off. I slid across the wood floor, carefully sliding along the wall of the foyer until I reached the kitchen. I bit my cheek, the angry butterflies returning when I set my shit down on the island. I sat on a stool, quickly sucking my straw into my mouth when Jack leaned over the counter in front of me.

"Why're you here?" He demanded, making my stomach churn at his hard stare.

"I missed you." I whispered, avoiding his gaze.

"Don't lie." He snapped, pushing the burger towards me. "Eat your shit."

"M'not hungry anymore." I slurred, taking in a deep breath. "M'not lying'."

"Alex, you." He stopped, shaking his head. "Are you fucking drunk? Did you seriously show up here to talk to medrunk?"

"I'm sorry." I spluttered, stopping when he held his hand up.

"Stop talking." He scoffed. "I seriously don't even know you anymore, Alex. You don't seem to care about anything anymore-"

"I care about you." I jumped in, biting my lip when he glared at me.

"No you don't." He remarked sharply. "If you did, you wouldn't push me away. You wouldn't tell me you love me then turn around and send me pictures of your latest fuck. That's sick, Alex. You fucking used me like I was one of them."

"Never used you." I denied, shaking my head as his words rang through my head.

"You're pissing me off." He sighed, rolling his eyes at me. "I don't want to talk to you when you're drunk. It never turns out well for me."

I furrowed my eyebrows, staring at his face as he contnued to avoid looking at me. I leaned my arms over the counter, cradling my spinning head when a million things ran through my mind at once. Used him? I never used him for anything. How does he know I love him not like a brother?

I moaned into his mouth when his fingers tugged at the back of my hair and I found myself moving until I was forcing myself between his thighs. He gasped at the intimate position, allowing me to slip my tongue into his mouth easily. I breathed through my nose, resting my arms on both side of his head as our tongues tangled hungrily.

"Alex-" He panted, pulling his lips from mine with a loud pop.

I closed my eyes, his breathless tone and just the feelings running through me getting to me. I bit my lip, trying to stifle the groan wanting to escape when I felt myself press into the back of his boxer brief clad thigh.

"Wan'kiss you." I mumbled, pressing my face into his neck and taking the time to press sloppy kisses into it.

He gasped, clenching his thighs around my hips when I brushed my lips below his left ear and I chuckled, stomach twisting more intensely as his hands gripped my shoulders.

"M'you-fuh." I hummed, sucking on the soft flesh harshly instead of trying to get my words out.

"Oh." He choked out, tugging at my hair some more. "Alex."

"Alex."

I snapped out of my daydream, finding Jack standing in front of my with his hand on my cheeks. I opened my mouth, hearing myself inhale sharply when I felt how fast my heart started racing.

"Alex, you need to calm down." He warned, running his hands over my shoulders.

"Oh." I choked out, leaning forward. "I-I um...drunk and sorry n' not sober'n-"

"I know, Alex." He whispered soothingly, his hands rubbing my heaving chest. "You just need to breathe."

I squeezed my eyes shut, swaying until I moved to rest my arms over my knees. I coughed harshly, seeing black dots cloud my vision while spit pooled to the front of my mouth. I forced it back down and blinked up at Jack, my gut clenching at the concern written all over him.

"You don't remember a thing from yesterday?" He concluded emotionlessly.

I closed my eyes, trying to replay anything only to come up with nothing. I sighed, ignoring the gurgling in my stomach as I shook my pounding head as softly as I could. I swallowed, wincing at the soreness from puking as another silence fell over us. I cleared my throat, flickering my gaze back to Jack's awkwardly. My heart clenched when I saw how damp they looked.

"You're a fucking asshole." He breathed, lip quivering.

"What? How the hell am I an asshole?" I scoffed, feeling another pang when he shot to his feet.

"Fuck you! I hate you." He seethed, turning to the open bathroom door before turning back to me. "Get your shit and get the fuck out of my house."

"I didn't mean to make you cry." I muttered, holding my head again. "This wasn' suppose'ta happen."

"What are you talking about, Alex?" He pleaded, grabbing my forearms loosely. "Just take a deep breath."

I looked down at where he kneeled in front of me, frowning deeper as all the shit I've done filed to the front of my mind. Those...those dreams. They were real. They were fucking real and I ruined everything. How could I push someone I crave the most away so bad? How could I tell him I love him and turn around and send him pictures of girls? When did I turn into this...monster?

"I'll touch your dick if you promise you'll remember in the morning." He reasoned.

"Mhm." I nodded, leaning forward to grab his arms.

I pulled him down on to me and pressed our lips together in a needy kiss. He pulled away after a few seconds, giggling and biting his lip as he moved to hover over me.

"Lex seriously. I want you to know this is happening. I don't want you to not remember anything that's happened today." He sighed, sitting on my thighs.

"Babe, I'member." I reassured, waving my hand. "Lo'you too much to not."

"You love me?" He whispered in shock.

"So much." I confirmed, closing my eyes.

"We need to talk about this tomorrow." He insisted.

"Mhm." I hummed.

"You're positive you know what's happening?" He repeated.

I bit my lip, tensing when his fingers trailed down my stomach. My breathing picked up when he teasingly pulled the waistband of the briefs back before letting it snap back into my skin. I whined, lifting my hips impatiently. I watched him lick his lips, slowly scooting down my body and hooking his fingers in the waistband.

"Yeah." I grunted, lifting my ass as he tugged the thin material down my thighs.

I sucked in a breath, biting my lip as I stared down at him. He looked up at me through his eyelashes and took hold of my hard on, making me choke out a breath.

"Ba--fuck." I moaned loudly, watching his lips slid down at least half way.

As soon as it came it was gone and I whined, getting a pinch to the thigh.

"Keep quiet." He ordered.

I shook my head, holding my arm over my mouth when my stomach churned. I leaned my side into the counter, sucking a shaky breath in through my nose wile I squeezed my eyes closed.

"Are you gonna be sick?" He asked quickly, brushing my bangs from my forehead.

"Uh huh." I managed, grimacing at the gobs of spit falling from my lips.

"Shit, hold on." He rushed out.

I shook my head, guilt forcing me over the edge while everything I had over the day forced it's way up my throat. I whimpered, barely able to hold it back just as Jack held a trashbag in front of me. I gagged, gripping the edges of the bag from him while I shoved down. I coughed, puking another round when the strong vanilla scent of the garbadge bag rushed up my nose.

"It's okay." Jack soothed, running his hand over my lower back when I calmed down.

I shook my head, spitting a few more times. I looked down in the bag, feeling my eyes widen when I noticed the inside tinted darker than usual. I didn't eat or drink anything red. I swallowed, wincing at the sting in my throat while the irony smell filled my nose over the vanilla.

"I don' feel good." I whimpered, panting heavily as I looked up at Jack.

His eyes widened before his hand took hold of my jaw. I frowned, my insides feeling like they're ripping each other apart as I stared at his face.

"How much have you had?" He panicked.

I blinked slowly, shaking my head when my mind came up blank. All I can think about is how much I fucked up. Jack gave me a blowjob and I told him I love him. Does that mean he loves me? Could he actually want me back? Is this reality?

"Alex, stop drifting away from me." He snapped, shaking my shoulders. "You're puking blood. I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Water." I rasped, wiping my mouth off on the bag.

"Okay. I can do that." He nodded, walking away from me.

I sighed heavily, wincing at the ache in my throat. Frowing, I lazily tied the garbage bag up and dropped it to the goround.

"Here."

I hummed, gabbing the cup from him and bringing it towards my lips. I swallowed quickly, the water numbing my throat as it went down. Once I finished the cup, I felt a lot better.

"Come on." He urged, pulling me off of the stool. "You can sleepover, okay? We can talk in the morning."

I sniffled, tugging my hands from his roughly in order to cover my face. Hot tears fell down my cheeks and into my hands as I pressed them harder into my eyes. Jack hates me. He has to. Hell, everyone should hate me. I dropped everybody in a selfish attempt to make my life more bearable, but I did the complete opposite. I fucked up the one chance I had at being normal with Jack. Nothing will be the same and I feel like I'm sinking more than I ever have.

"Don't cry." Jack sniffed, running his hand over the back of my head.

"M'not cryin'." I hissed, shoving him away.

"Alex, stop." He spat, grabbing my arm. "Come on. You need to sleep this off."

I huffed, feeling my lip quiver pathetically as I allowed him to drag me behind him and towards the stairs.

"You'll feel better when you lay down." He whispered, running his fingers over my wrist gently.

Notes

This chapter is all over the place because Alex is drunk again and being careless, depressed, and confused. Ever heard of remembering drunken nights when you're drunk again? That's kind of the point of this chapter. Seeing Jack when he's drunk made him remember things!
EVERYONE BE EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. Why? Because there's absolutely NO drunk Alex!! Nope. He's going to be completely sober and shit's going to get figured out!