Thanks To You

God, he's fucking beautiful. No, Alex! God dammit, this is why I needed to get drunk. I can't be feeling like this towards my best friend, let alone my dude best friend. I just need these confusing feelings to stop because for the past few months I've really been stuggling with this need to be with Jack Bassam Barakat. He's so fucking perfect, I don't even know what made me start thinking this way. One day he was just my best friend and now-

"Alex, you're fucking wasted." Jack frowned.

I grinned lazily, biting my lip to keep myself from the words trying to escape me.

"You're really fucking pretty." I blurted, my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

God dammit Alex! Maybe getting drunk isn't a good fucking idea because I can't control what comes out of my mouth. It makes me feel good though, better. It makes me feel better even though I'm a dumbass.

Warnings: Sex, drugs, alcohol abuse, swearing

1. I'm all strung out, that much is clear

2. Would you bail me out if I need it?

3. I'm gonna take you home and take of your clothes, baby I'm nothing but bad news

4. I want another taste, I'm beggin' yes ma'am

5. It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy

6. Like a rollercoaster ride, holdin' on white knuckles like, whoa, whoa. Got me feeling like, up and down and side to side. Every inch of me is like whoa, whoa

7. I'm stuck in this fucking rut, waiting on a second hand pick-me-up

8. I won't ever be the one you want, no I won't ever be the one you want

9. I fear I might break and I fear I can't take it, tonight I'll lie awake feeling empty

10. I haven't lost anything except my mind

11. I'm tired and I've felt it for a while now

12. I feel it all come crashing down on me, I feel alone and torn apart

13. I wanna feel something that's not the weight of your world in my head

    First ever TRIGGER WARNING Please please please DO NOT read if you are easily triggered by mentions of self-harm. You do NOT need to read this chapter to understand the rest of the story.

14. I, I don't know what to do with you cause you, you don't know what you do to me

    This chapter also contains mentions of self-harm.