Forgive me. Please?

Alex's POV

We walked to Jacks in silence.
" you might have to ignore the mess." He said as we got to his front door.
"can't be no worse than mine." I shivered.
Jack smiled and unlocked the door and gently pushed me in and walked in and shut the door behind us.
Sure enough the place looked like a bomb had exploded.
"You seriously need to tidy and clean your place Jack." I grumbled at him.
"Don't have the time. Especially with work and Isla." He said and walked out to the kitchen.
I gingerly followed him.
"Look I'll do you a deal. I clean your place once a week and I'll have Isla round so you can work." I said.
Jack looked at me shocked.
"I need the money and working one day a week at the record shop isn't enough." I said.
"Sure." Jack said without even thinking about it.
"Aren't you going to think about it?" I asked as Jack handed me my drink.
It was tea and I smiled a little.
"Don't need to. I trust you to clean my flat and look after Isla." He said.
I looked at him.
"Come and sit down." He said quietly and I followed him to the sitting room.

I looked round and saw pictures and Jack and Isla and one of him and that bitch.
But there was one which took me by surprise and it was of me and Jack at prom.
I walked over and picked the picture up.
"Out of all the pictures we had together that one is my favourite." Jack said quietly and stood next to me.
I sniffed and put the picture down and looked at the picture of Jack and the bitch.
"She's pretty." I said quietly.
"Not as pretty as you." He said.
I looked at him.
"There's nothing to like about me. Not anymore." I whispered and looked back at the picture.
"Isla is a lot like her." I said and looked at the picture of Isla.
"She is. But she also reminds me of you." He said.
I looked at him.
"She's nothing like me. She's not even my kid." I said.
"Maybe not, but little things she does reminds me of you. Like how she frowns when she's confused." He said.
I sighed and looked down.
"Alex I need you back in my life. I've fucked up our relationship and then I fucked up my marriage." He said.
"I..I..I don't know if I can have you in my life." I said quietly and walked away from him.

"I mean, I can't trust myself with you in my life." I said and sat on the sofa.
Jack sat next to me.
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because I can't." I whisper and looked away from him.
"Tell me Alex. Shout at me if you have too. Just talk to me and let everything off your chest." Jack said.
I looked at him.
"You was everything to me. I can't let myself have you in my life because I can't have myself falling for you again only to have my heart ripped into two again. I just can't." I said.
Jack looked down.
"I never meant to hurt you Alex." He said quietly.
"But you did. You fucking ripped my heart out and stamped on it and gave it back in a millions of bits." I said and took my hoodie off.
Jack looked at my arm and before I could pull my scared arm away from him he caught hold of it and traced his finger down my arm.
"Was this because of me?" He asked quietly and looked at me.
I nodded and felt some tears fall down my cheek.
"Lex I'm so sorry." He whispered and gave my arm back and wiped my eyes hard with my hands.
"I lost everything Jack. I lost you and mum and I had no one. I was ready to fucking kill myself. So fucking ready but I found Mia and then Archie came along and I felt like I finally got everything. But then Mia left and then it was just me and Archie and that's how its going to stay." I said.
i looked at Jack and he generally looked really sorry.
"You broke me. I don't think I can ever forgive you." I said in a low voice.
Jack looked at me.

"Please forgive me." He said.
"How can I forgive a man who fucking cheated on me with a friend! And then got her fucking pregnant! Explain to me how the can fucking forgive you!? Because if you was in my shoes you would say that you hated me and never wanted me back! But because its me you think you can turn them fucking puppy eyes on and I'll go falling back into your arms! Its not going to happen Jack!" I shouted at him.
"It was a drunken mistake." He said.
"A mistake? You fucking forgot you had a boyfriend one which fucking thought the world of you! How the fucking hell can you forget that! Then to fucking top it all off you was fucking her in our bed! In our fucking bed Jack! What sort of fucking low life will do that!?" I screamed at him.
Jack had tears in his eyes.
"Alex please. It was 5 years ago." He said and I got up.
"It still fucking hurts Jack! It stills feels like it was yesterday!" I shouted.
Jack looked down I don't think I have ever shouted this much at him. Even during our 3 year relationship.
" You don't think I'm hurting about it as well?" Jack said and glared at me.
"Well I wasn't the fucking one who had to jump into bed with another person." I spat at him.
Jack stood up and stood in front of me and towered over me.
"I fucking loved you Alex! I still love you! Why can't you just fucking get over it!" He shouted at me.
"I can't get over it! I will never get over it!" I shouted back at him.
"So you just going to grow into a lonely old man with no one? Because that's what's going to happen!" He shouted at mW.
He was trying to mess with my head.
"Yes! Because I don't need a fucking bastard like you in my fucking life! I don't want you in my life! I fucking hate you! I have always fucking hated you!" I shouted at him and pushed him away from me.
"Why can't you see that we need each other Alex." He said calmly.
"Because we don't need each other." I said and felt more tears fall down my face.

He stepped towards me and my body wasn't moving like I was telling it to do.
"Don't cry I hate it when you cry." He said quietly and put his hand on my cheek and wiped the tears away with his thumb.
"All my tears have been about you." I whispered and looked at him.
"I'm sorry Alex. If I could turn back time then I would." He said.
I moved my head more into his hand and just took in his smell.
"I've missed you." I whispered.
Jack pulled me into a hug which I returned.
"I've missed you too." He said quietly.
I buried my head in his chest and cried.
"Can we at least friends?" He asked.
I nodded.
"Thank you Alex." He said quietly.
I pulled back and looked at him.
I missed everything about him.
His smile, his touch, his kisses.
Everything.

I reached up and kissed his cheek.
He looked at me confused but it soon yet and he pulled my lower half closer to him and he kissed me hard on the lips.
My head was telling me no and pull away but my heart was saying yes.
He pulled back for air.
He looked at me.
"You sure?" He asked.
I nodded and brought his head closer to mine and kissed him hard.
He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs round his waist as he walked to his room and pushed me off him and onto the bed.
He pulled my top off and I did the same to him.
He started to nip and suck along my collarbones which made me moan quietly.
I couldn't help but blush a little.
Jack looked at me and smirked.
"That's a sound I've missed." He said and kissed me hard and moved me more onto the bed and worked on taking my trousers and pants off.
I did the same to Jack.
Once we was both completely naked we just looked at each other to see how much we had changed.
"A tattoo? Never put you as the type of person." I said.
He smiled at me.
He lent down and kissed me.

"Is that our long 5 year make up sex?" Jack asked as I cuddled into his chest.
I nodded and traced my finger over his tattoo.
He chuckled.
"We can still be friend can't we?" I asked and looked at him.
"Yes! I'm not letting you out my life any time soon." He said.
I smiled.
"Same here." I yanwed.
"We have 2 hours before we pick the kids up." Jack said.
"I'm going to sleep." I muttered and Jack chuckled.
"Sleep tight sleeping beauty." I heard Jack say quietly and kissed the side of my head.
I smiled and went to sleep.

Notes

This story is so shit ...