Miss You Already

I walked out the front door after saying by to Rosie and Erin and Eric.
I didn't see Alex and pretty much walked into him.
"Nice to know you missed me so much that you have to crash land into me." Alex chuckled.
"I'm sorry, I fucking nervous about this." I said.
"Well don't be because after you've finished I'm gonna take you out." He said and linked his arm with mine and we walked towards the hospital.
"This you taking me out on a date. Including the trip to the hospital?" I chuckled.
"More like your taking me on a date to the hospital. I'm treating you so you can forget how horrible this was." He said.
I smiled.
"You know how to treat a guy. Alfie is very lucky." I said quietly.
"Only the ones I love, so consider yourself very lucky." He chuckled.
"I am indeed." I said quietly.

We got to the hospital and went to where me and Alex had to be.
I sat in the chair and waited for a nurse to come.
"Mate these chairs are well comfy." I said and looked at Alex.
"Get out the way so I can try." Alex said and pretty much pulled me out the chair and sat in the chair.
"Christ, your right. You can sit there and have your chemo and I'll stay here and go to sleep." He said.
"I'm afraid I have to kick you out sir." A nurse chuckled.
"So unfair." He muttered and moved and I got back in.
"Cheers for warm the seat up for me." I smiled.
"So I'm gonna have to put this needle in your hand." He said and showed us the needle.
"Fuck me that's a big needle." Alex said.
I looked at him slowly beginning to panic.
"Hey, you'll be fine. It'll be like a starch or something." He said and got hold of my hand and gave it a supportive squeeze.
"Want me to continue?" The nurse asked and I nodded and looked away.
"Here, remember that time when we drunk so much we ended up sleeping in that barn with a load of sheep." Alex said trying to distract me which worked.
I laughed at this memory as it was one of the best ones we have together and there was loads of memories to choose from.
"Yeah and you was covered in shit." I laughed.
Alex chuckled.
"Then the farmer chased us until we was pretty much home." He said.
"Still don't remember how we got there." I said and looked at him.
"Fuck if I remember." He chuckled.
"What's the strangest place you've ever woken up in?" I asked and looked at the nurse.
"Well it won't top the barn full of sheep, but I have woken up in my mates chest of drawers." He said and looked at us.
"Damn, that sounds uncomfortable." Alex said quietly.
"Had a bad back for 2 weeks." He chuckled.
"Alex smelt like sheep for a week. I was almost too embarrassed to be near him." I said.
"And yet you still hung around me even with my added sheep order." Alex chuckled.
I looked at him and smiled.
"There, its all done. I'll see you two in a few hours." He said and walked off.
"What to do now?" I sighed and looked around.

"How's you and Alfie going?" I asked.
"I dunno, he's been distant lately. He's been calling me mate and dude a lot which isn't like him." He said and looked down.
"Maybe you should ask him what's up." I said.
"I've tried but he says everything is fine. But something isn't right." He said thinking which was never good.
"Hey, it could be nothing." I said and caught hold of Alex's hand.
"But it could be something." He whispered and looked down.
"Do you want me to talk to him?" I asked.
He nodded.
"I'll do that when I get u hooked from this." I said.
"But what about us going out?" He asked.
"Another time. It's sort of tiring sitting here have shit pumped into my blood stream." I said.
Alex smiled.
"Coffee round mine then?" He asked.
"Yeah." I smiled.

After we had finished we slowly went to Alex's.
When we got there Alfie was talking on the phone since he worked from home.
He smiled when he saw Alex and me.
He walked over to Alex and kissed his cheek and walked off.
"That's as far as it goes. Kiss and cuddle and that's it." He said quietly and walked to the kitchen.
I followed him.
"Probably wouldn't mind if we could have some sort of fucking sex. A guy has needs you know." He said and slammed the kettle on.
I chuxkled.
"I know." I said.
"Feels like I'm losing him." He said quietly.
"Hey, I know by the way he looks at you He fucking loves you and doesn't want you to go anywhere." I said.
"As if finding out I might be losing my best friend isnt enough i could be losing thw only other person who can keep me sane." He said and then stopped and looked at me.
"Sorry. You cant help having cancer." He said quitely.
"Hey, its fine. I would feel the same if it was you." I said and pulled him into a hug which he returned.
"Really? I bet you woukd be glad to see the back of me." He chuckled.
"I will never be glad to see thw back of you." I said quietly.
Alex smiled and Alfie came out gort himself a drink and walked out the room.
Alex pulles away and sighed and made the drinks.
"I'll go talk to him." I saod and kissed the side of his head and walked out the room.

I walked into Alex's room and Alfie was sat on thw bed.
"Hey Jacko, how did your chemo go?" He said and looked at me.
"Hey. It was okay, just tired so I'll get to thw point. Why arent you talking to Alex? He's really upset about it and thinks your gonna leave him." I said.
"What! I would never leave him. I love him too death. Even if I have to share him with you." He said as I sat on the bed.
"Then why have you been ignoring him?" I asked.
"Look, I know Alex doesn't have any family and your pretty much the only thing to him which he loves as a family." He said and looked down.
"Aflie what you on about?" I asked.
"I was trying to summon the balls to ask you if you'd be okay if I asked him to marry me." He said.
I looked at him in shock.
"Why do you need to ask me?" I asked.
"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't be traditional." He said.
"Never put you as that sort of person." I chuckled.
"Well something's have to be done and I feel like I had to do this. Even though your not his parents but your pretty much his family so your the next best thing." He chuxkled.
I smiled.
"So.. Am I allowed to marry your other half?" He asked.
"Course you are! Christ he loves you to bits. Personally your about the only one of his boyfriends I've actually liked." I said.
"Really! Oh my god, I actually fucking love you right now!" He said and hugged me.
"Careful, you are with my other half and I'm very protective over him." I said seriously.
"Jack, i promise you i will always look after him for you." He said.
I smiled and nodded beliveing Alfie.
I left him to go back to work and nwent back to Alex.

"So did he tell you what was wrong?" He asked and sat next to me on the sofa.
"He did, but I'm not telling." I said.
"Jack please I need to know!" He said seriously.
"Look all you need to know is that he loves you to bits and that he's not going to leave you." I said and pulled him to my side.
"Just trust me." I said quietly.
"I always trust you." He whispered.

Notes