Jack


Ughh, I don’t want to have this dumb party thing. It was later today, and it was just going to be one big drama fest. Kellin will be flirting with other guys and Vic will get mad, so they will get in an argument. Brendon and Hayley are both going to act all passive, waiting for the other one to admit they’ve been wrong all along and that they’re sorry.
I think that Zack and Tay made up, but it’ll still be that awkward getting back together weird vibe that always bums everyone out. Alex will be anxious because there will be so many people here, and he’ll probably just sneak off into my room to hide from everyone.

It’s not even a nice day outside, we could’ve gone in my hot tub but it’s pouring rain outside. This weather is getting me in a bad mood, I just want to cuddle with Alex in my bed all day. That’s honestly all I ever want to do.

I reached for my phone on the coffee table and dialed Alex’s number. Usually I would just text him to get his cute ass over here, but I felt like hearing his voice. The phone rang until it went to voicemail, which was weird.

He always has his phone, why wouldn’t he answer me? Is he pissed at me? Is he okay?

I wonder if his parents found out about him being gay, fuck, I really hope that old ass couple didn’t tell his parents. What do I do?

I have to get snacks and drinks for the party tonight anyway, I will drive by his house to see if his parents car is there. I grabbed my keys and heard my phone ring. Good, it’s Alex.
Except the caller ID said Cass, ugh, I wanted my boyfriend.

“Hey Cass, can you hurry this up, I’m waiting for Alex to call me back.” I told her, holding my phone to my ear with my shoulder as I put on shoes.

“J-Jack, t-there… w-was… there w-was a… a…” she burst out into tears after that, I could hear her hysterical sobs and hiccuping for breath through the speaker.

Oh shit, did Rian accidentally call her fat again? This always happens, and I’m always the one that pieces their relationship back together.
I really am the third part that holds them together. I should remember this moment for their wedding day, when I make my speech when I’m Rian’s best man.

I realized, this phone call sounded different. She sounded terrified, and she really couldn’t get any words out to explain what was going on with her.

“Cass? Are you okay, what happened? Where are you?” I asked, grabbing my keys from the kitchen counter.

“I’m fine! R-Rian and Alex, got into a c-car accident”

My body went numb, I dropped the keys that I was holding between my fingers unintentionally.
No. This doesn’t happen. Things like this only happen in TV shows, nothing this devastating happens to people in real life, right? She’s pranking me, I bet Alex is in on it, that’s why he didn’t answer his phone.But, why would they trick me? Cass didn’t get into the school play, she isn’t that good of an actor.
A car accident? Alex, my Alex, my boyfriend, the love of my life, in a car crash.

It felt like my heart stopped beating.

“What?”

“Rian’s mom called me, she’s on her way to the hospital now. I don’t know if they are okay, Jack!” she cried, and started sobbing again.

Alex and hospital should not be in the same sentence. My beautiful boyfriend, can’t go to a hospital. That’s where they bring people who are having an emergency to.
Is he having an emergency? Am I having an emergency? Is this what it feels like?
Because it felt like complete hell.

How could this happen? Why were they in the car together in the first place? I have shit load of questions, but I do know one thing.
I’m going to KILL Rian. He CRASHES the car while he’s driving MY BOYFRIEND.
What the fuck?! He is dead to me! Alex is the most important person ever to me and he just smashes his car with him in it!

Okay, that’s insensitive, I care about Rian a ton too, he’s my best friend. But still, I’m going to kill him.

“Okay, I’m going to pick you up and we’re going to go to the hospital.” I said, and hurried outside to my car.

“Are you sure you should drive?” she sniffled.

“What do you mean?” I asked, already putting the key in ignition.

“With you worried about Alex.” she explained.

“Would you rather drive, with your non existent car? I’ll be at your house in 5 minutes.”



Both of us were silent most of the way there, we were too scared to even speak. We were in the same boat, the person we love most is hurt.

As soon as we got to the hospital, we checked in and said that we were here for Rian Dawson and Alex Gaskarth, and they sent us to a waiting room. My entire body was shaking with fear.
If either of them don’t make it I will not be able to live with myself. I don’t think I would be able to survive if Alex died, he’s the center of my universe. He’s the love of my life.

As soon as we entered the waiting room, I was relieved to see a familiar face.

“Tom!” I exclaimed, and watched a boy with dark brown hair’s head look up from his hands.

“Who’s Tom?” Cass asked me.

“Alex’s older brother,” I told her, she nodded.

“Jack? I was going to call you, but I didn’t have your number, how did you know?” he asked me, walking up to us. These are not questions I want to be hearing right now, he can figure out all the details later.

“Not important, is he okay?” I asked him.

“Is Rian okay?” Cass asked, and Tom sighed.

“Well, Rian has a broken collarbone, he’s in a lot of pain but they gave him meds.” he explained, only looking at Cass and avoiding eye contact with me.

He didn’t answer my question!!!

“Thank god he’s okay!” Cass exclaimed, hugging me, I stared at Tom as he stared at the floor.
God, he and Alex are the same fucking person.

“What about Alex?” I repeated, Tom bit his lip nervously, running a hand through his hair.

“He’s in surgery right now.” What?

“Surgery?” I questioned. I had so many questions running through my head I couldn't think straight.
What happened to him? What went wrong? Is it serious? Is it fatal?

“Well he broke his arm, and when his head hit the window it burst blood vessels in his brain. So he had a brain hemorrhage.” Tom explained.

Oh my god.

His brain is fucking bleeding. Alex’s brain is bleeding. Now he is on a table somewhere in this damn hospital with his skull wide open, with one wrong move in the operation they could kill him.

“How bad?” I mumbled, and didn’t realize how tightly Cass was holding me till now.

“I donno, the doctors asked him to rate his pain on a one to ten scale, and he said 9.”

I shuddered, it felt like a stab in the heart knowing that Alex was in so much pain. I should’ve been there for him, we could’ve just snuggled the entire day and none of this would happen.

“Can we see them?” Cass asked Tom.

“You guys can see Rian but Alex is still in surgery. I will give you guys updates on him though.” Tom told us. We exchanged cellphone numbers so we could text, and Cass practically dragged me to Rians room.

I didn’t want to see Rian right now.

I dragged my feet as we walked into his room, I could feel my heart breaking as Cass ran to Rian, and wrapped his arms around him as he smiled.
He was wearing a sling, and he had a huge black and blue bruise on his forehead, with a big scab on his forehead. I assumed his head hit the steering wheel, but it was a lot better than it hitting the window and fucking shattering it.

My fists clenched with rage. This isn’t fair. I stared as Cass cried tears of joy with one of Rian’s arms around her, his face was pressed into her shoulder.

I should be able to be doing this with Alex, he shouldn’t have to be fucking operated on. He didn’t deserve this.
I want him to be awake, and talking, and fucking hugging me. All I want to do is give my boyfriend a fucking hug, but I can’t because Rian had to crash that damn car.

When Rian made eye contact with me, I saw the guilt in his eyes as he stared back at me.

“Jack-”

“Seriously Rian? What the hell happened? I yelled, releasing all my pent up rage onto him.

“Jack!” Cass gasped.

“How could you be so fucking stupid? What the hell is the matter with you man?!” I exclaimed.

“Jack stop-”

“It’s fine, Cass.” Rian told her, and looked back at me.

“Do you have any idea what you did? He’s in surgery, I have no idea what is going to happen to him, or if I will ever be able to fucking hold him again, and you're lying here fine! I should be able to be talking to him right now but I can’t, because his fucking brain is bleeding, because of you! You two can be as happy as you want, but I’ll just be here waiting to see if Alex will even SURVIVE through the damage you caused him!”

Rian stared at me as I screamed at him, pouring my heart out right in front of him. He didn’t flinch, he didn’t look down, he didn’t scream back at me, he just nodded in complete agreement.

“I’m so sorry Jack.” he told me, Cass hugged him tighter.

“Did you even look both ways before you crossed the street, for fuck’s sake Rian do you even know anything-”

“Look Jack, we know how pissed you are, and how angry you get when your upset, and I get how your livid right now… But just… Don’t take it out on Rian, okay?” she begged, barely able to look me in the eye.

She seemed afraid of me from my yelling. I usually never yell like this. The only time I’ve screamed like this is to my parents. I know how much my yelling scares Alex, whenever I raise my voice when I’m having a disagreement with Zack or something, he flinches away from me.
It hurts me, knowing how easily I could scare him, but sometimes I just have to. I have to do it to defend him, I can’t just let Rian get away with this so easy.

“He could die,” I stated, making Rian sigh and look down at his lap.

“I know, but, it wasn’t his fault.” Cass defended him

I wanted to scream. I want to scream at Rian, I want to scream at Cass for not letting me scream at Rian, I want to scream at the fucking nurses and doctors in this damn hospital.

I can’t take this.

How could this happen to him? HIM?

Just imagining him in that car, with his head breaking the window, how much pain he was in, he was probably suffering, breaks my heart in pieces. He must of been horrified.

He should’ve just been with me the entire day, we could’ve had a great time in our pajamas, just enjoying each others company.

We could’ve had a great day.

I don’t want to think about life without Alex, it isn’t life.

I can’t go back to that.

I can’t go back to sleeping with anyone who offers themselves to me.

I can’t go back to being with people, even though I have no idea what their last name is.
He’s changed my life forever, he is my whole world.

I would be devastated beyond compare if he died, I would not be able to live with myself. The wounds of his death would leave scars on my heart that would never heal.
I would never love anyone or anything again.

I would be alive, but not living.

He is too good for this shit.

He’s the kindest person I’ve ever met, with the most beautiful soul. The world should see his perfect personality, intelligence, and advanced musical talent.

Losing him wouldn’t just be a loss for me, but for the entire world. Alex is a gift to all of us and he should be celebrated, instead he’s in a life or death situation.

“He must’ve been so scared…” I was all choked up, and I shuffled over to lean over Rian’s hospital bed.

I tried to force the tears to stay in my eyes, but I guess that’s not how gravity works. The pain of waiting to know was unbearable, not knowing if he was okay, let alone if he would survive the surgery.

I’ve never been so terrified in my life.

Tears streamed down my face like waterfalls. I usually never cried, I either get pissed when I'm sad or just push all my feelings down. But I couldn’t hold it in.

“I’m sorry, Jack.” Rian breathed, and hearing that phrase made me lose it.

I collapsed onto my knees, burying my head in my heads, leaning on Rian's hospital bed. I sobbed into my arms, my breath hiccuping and nose started running and everything.

I can’t take this pain.

“Why did this have to happen? I love him so much, I can’t lose him.” I sobbed, Rian rubbed my back with his hand, I could hear his and Cass’s noisy sniffling so I assumed they were crying too. Great, I made them cry.

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry J-Jack. You will g-get to see him soon, I swear, he’s going to be fine.” Rian promised, stuttering and his voice sounded like he had a stuffy nose.

I heard footsteps walked towards me, I looked up with my probably ugly blotchy red face with puffy eyes, and watched Cass crouch down next to me and wrap her arms around me in a hug.

The only person on earth I wanted to hug right now is Alex.

Notes

oh my goddd
i had to admit, i was tearing up while writing this
it was so hard writing the part where Jack was screaming at Rian, and when Jack started crying ughhghgh
MY BABY IS JUST SCARED FOR HIS BABY

on a happier note
I HAVE 10,000 VIEWS AND 100 COMMENTS
THIS STORY IS NOT THAT GOOD IDEK WHY PEOPLE LIKE IT SO MUCH
so thanks everybodyyy

and this is chapter 46
damn i've written a lot
and theres not that many chapters left

im sorry this story is sad right now but i live for this drama
sorry not sorry lol