Jack

I stared at the floor, with my elbows placed on my knees and fingers interlocked into a fist covering my mouth. I couldn’t get a minute of rest, I was awake all night worrying about Alex. I’ve never been more worried.

I’ve thought about every scenario of what could happen. Alex dies, he wakes up with amnesia and has no idea who I am, he has brain damage for the rest of his life. I can’t handle this, everything was fine yesterday morning. I’d do anything to wake up from this horrible dream.

I should've appreciated him more, if it was possible. I wish I could’ve told him how much I loved him before all this. If I would’ve known this was going to happen he never would’ve left my sight.

My last words to him were ‘See you tomorrow, Lexy.’
How could I not say I love you?

Rian should’ve just asked me to go to the fucking grocery store with him. I know that Rian just wanted to become better friends with him, and his house was on the store, but…
It should be me instead of him. He can’t take any more of the bullshit life puts him through.
At least he will have me waiting for him when he wakes up, dammit I am never going to leave his side.
I looked up to see that Cass was just stirring, as well as Rian who was rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

“Good morning,” I mumbled, they looked surprised.

“Did you sleep at all?” Rian asked quietly, and sighed when I shook my head.

“I’ll go get us some bagels,” Cass said, Rian nodded and they had a quick kiss before Cass left.

“It’s going to be okay, dude. He’s going to wake up.”

Just then, my phone rang and Vic’s name popped up on it. I felt a little bad that I didn’t have the chance to call and explain why I had to cancel our entire party yesterday, i just sent him a quick text that said Alex was in the hospital. He asked me a whole bunch of questions but I wasn’t able to reply.

“Hey man-”

“What the fuck happened? Why is he in the hospital? Oh my god… Did you fuck him so bad he needed to go to the hospital?” Vic rambled.

“Vic! No! He and Rian got into a car crash. Rian broke his collarbone and Alex had a brain hemorrhage.” I explained.
I would’ve rather fucked him into the hospital, that sounds like really good sex.

“Shit, Jack that’s horrible. I’m so sorry!!!” I could tell he was being genuine, and it made me smile.
Vic and I may not be as close as we are with other people, but he’s always got my back, and I know he really cares.

“Yeah, he’s probably out of surgery now, I’m just waiting for updates or something.”

“I hope he gets healthy as soon as possible, dude.”

“Thanks Vic, it means alot coming from you.”

“Do you want me to come to the hospital? Just for some added support?”

“No, it’s fine. But I’ll see you soon, we can have that party some other time.”

“Of course dude, sometime when you can grind the fuck out of your little boyfriend.”

“Can’t wait, talk to you later.” I laughed, and hung up.
Vic always got me in a good mood. I would’ve let him come to the hospital, but Zack, Brendon, Tay and Hayley are all already coming, he would’ve just gotten me more stressed than the people who are coming will make me.

At this point I just want to be alone, I know everyone’s trying to help but I find it annoying. Ever since yesterday when I broke down in front of Cass and Rian, they’ve been acting too cautious around me, like I was a ticking time bomb.

I’ve never cried in front of anyone like that before, I really don’t cry in general. I’m just used to being the one who comforts people when they cry, like Cass when Rian accidentally calls her fat, or Alex when I accidentally call him fat.

I would give anything to having a crying Alex next to me, I mean, seeing him cry is what I used to think to be the worst thing imaginable, till now. At least then I could be holding him, and talking to him, knowing he’s at least physically stable.

My phone chimed, the sound that I’ve been waiting for all night finally came. I looked at the text message from Tom, and sighed.


From Tom
Hi Jack, Alex just woke up from his surgery, he’s pretty confused and upset but the doctors said he’s going to be fine.


A huge smile spread across my face. He’s okay.

Alex is alive, and breathing, and he’s fine.

I need to see him.

“Was that the update on him?” Rian asked me, sitting up in his hospital bed.

“Yup, he’s fine.” I beamed. I’m so proud of him for pulling through.
I can’t wait to see him. I stood up from my chair and Rian looked confused.

“Are you gonna go see him?”

“Hell yeah,” I smiled, making him chuckle. As I walked out of the room, all of our friends had just arrived, Zack held a balloon, and Tay held a bag of doughnuts.

“Jack! How are you doing?” Tay asked me, looking up at me with concerned eyes. She probably noticed my paler complexion and dark under eye circles from lack of sleep.

“I’m fine, because Alex is fine.” I told her, and everybody sighed with relief.

“Thank fucking god.” Brendon smiled, covering his face with his hands.

I can talk to them later. I went down the hall, looking around in windows to see which room Alex was in. I probably should’ve asked Tom.

I was just about to pull my phone out to text him but I saw Alex’s parents walking out of a room, with a few nurses standing outside of it. It’s him.

My heart was beating out of my chest with excitement. There’s no other feeling than having such little hope, and have everything just turn out for the better. The love of my life isn’t dead. He’s fine, in fact. He survived a fucking car crash.

I knew he was a fighter from the start.

I ran up to his door after his parents were out of sight, and looked through the window to see my caramel haired boyfriend asleep with his head facing away from the door.
I need to see his face.
My whole body got goosebumps as my hand grabbed the door handle. This is all I’ve been dreaming of for the past 24 hours. I slowly turned the knob, and felt a cold hand placed forcefully on my shoulder.

“Excuse me, you are not on Alexander's visiting list.”

No fucking way. I turned around to see a chubby middle aged women with black hair and pink scrubs, with her arms crossed angrily.

There is no way this bitch is going to keep me from seeing Alex.

I don’t care who she is, or what the rules are, I’m seeing him.

“You don’t understand, I’m his boyfriend.” I said, realized right after that I had a bit too much attitude in my tone.
I can’t help it, she should be glad I bit my tongue and didn’t call her a ‘bitch.’

“No, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, you are not on the list of family, so you are not allowed into the ICU.” she glared her eyes at me.

“But if you just let me-” she interrupted my sentence by quickly shutting the door I was opening.

I will break this god damn door down if she doesn’t back the fuck off.

“Please stay in the waiting room, or I will have to call security.” she stated.

“Fine, call them! Have them TRY to take me away, but I’m not leaving! I’m just trying to see my boyfriend! I thought you were a nurse, can’t you see I’m fucking scared to death right now? He had brain surgery for fuck’s fake. I don’t know who the hell you think you are but-”

“Come on, Jack.” I held a hand wrap around my wrist and tug me away, and looked over to see it was Tom dragging me away from the scene I’ve just created for myself.

“I didn’t do anything! I was so close to him!” I protested, looking back at the door to see the nurse glaring at me. Does she have any empathy? Fuck her.

“Screaming at nurses is not going to get you to see him anytime sooner, they are just doing their jobs.” Tom explained, I groaned.

“That’s easy for you to say, you’ve gotten to visit him. I don’t understand why I can’t see him.” I mumbled, making Tom sigh.

“Honestly, I don't either, but those are the rules. But I have to say, it’s nice to see how much you really care about Alex.”

“I love him.” I told him, he smiled right away.
I don’t know why people are so surprised when I say that, I love him with all my heart. I know people didn’t expect us to last longer than a week but we sure as hell proved them wrong.

“I can see that, if there was anything I could do, I would do it... But Jack, when was the last time you got some sleep?” Tom asked me concerningly.

I shrugged.

“You should really go to Rian’s room and take a nap.” he told me, pushing me in the other direction, away from the ICU and towards Rian’s room. How am I supposed to sleep?

“But if Alex-”

“I promise I will update you if anything changes.” he reassured me. I still didn’t feel comfortable anywhere but as close to Alex as I could be right now.
I would rather sit outside his door waiting for the second I was allowed in.
I just want to kiss his cute face.

“What was he like when you saw him?” I asked.

“He was really groggy, pretty confused, and he was asking for you a lot.” Tom explained.

“He was?” I frowned. He wanted me there but I couldn’t, no matter how bad I want to be there too.

“Yeah, he wouldn’t stop saying your name and my parents were getting confused. I had to cover for him.” Tom told me. He needed me, I’m such a sucky boyfriend.

I should’ve just broken down the door of the ICU.

“Oh my god. I’m not leaving.” I covered my face with my hands.

I want to be there for him so bad. He’s alone, in some uncomfortable hospital bed, scared and confused, longing for me, and we’re separated by just a 2 inch thick wooden door.

“Don’t worry about him, go to bed, all of you should get some rest. Everyone’s going to be here for a while so you might as well be well rested for when you can see Alex.” Tom told me, and I groaned with annoyance as I walked back into Rian’s room, and plopped down on the uncomfortable bench.

“I didn’t think you’d be coming back.” Cass giggled, making everyone laugh.

“Wait, did they not let you in?” Brendon asked, I nodded sadly.

Why did all this have to happen to him?

“I just don’t know why I can’t fucking see him…” I frowned.

“I’m so sorry man, that really sucks but at least you know that he’s okay.” Rian tried to comfort me like always, and it always helped. His advice was always soothing to me.

“You’re right, I’m sorry for screaming at you like that yesterday, I was out of line. I was just scared and I needed someone to take my anger out on, it wasn’t cool.” I admitted.

“No dude, it’s fine. I get it, I would’ve done the same or worse if I was in that position.
No need for apologies, were good.” Rian told me, and I nodded.

“I’m going to go to the cafeteria to get us all some food.” Zack said, and people started telling him what they wanted, and he wrote them down in his phone.

“Thank’s Zack.” Cass called after him, and sat back down on the edge of Rian’s bed.

I wish I was in my own bed right now, I can’t sleep on this bench. I was to be in my own bed, with Alex cuddled next to me, in my warm sheets. There’s no better feeling than waking up with Alex in your arms, I had trouble falling asleep without him now.

It’s become such a routine, that I can’t sleep at all without him pressed up against me.

I stared at the ground, and felt someone sit beside me.

“I’m so sorry this happened Jack,”

I looked over to see Tay, staring up sadly at me with big brown eyes. Her big brown eyes reminded me of Alex’s, but his were lighter and much easier to get lost in.

I held out my arms for a hug, I was totally desperate for one.
I pressed my face in the crook of her neck, and she wrapped a hand around my neck and ran it through the back of my hair, stroking it in attempt to calm me.

“You’re the best Tay, I love you.” I told her.

She’s been one of my best friends for 4 years, she’s like a sister to me. She’s always so sweet and there for me when I need her. She was skeptical of Alex at first, but I would be the same if she wasn’t dating Zack, who I already know.

She looked up at me with tears brimming her eyes.

“I-I love y-you too Jack.” she stuttered, pressing her face into my shoulder. Now she’s crying, I had no idea she cared so much for Alex.

“It’s okay. Alex is going to be fine.” I told her, she shrugged.

I wrapped my arm around her, and she laid her head on my chest with both arms wrapped around me, wiping the tears from her eyes with the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

I always thought she hated Alex, I never knew she cared this much about him.

I kissed the top of her head and her breath hitched, and held me tighter. I fell asleep to the soft sound of her breathing, imagining it was Alex next to me.

Notes

omg i'm sorry this is so late, i've tried to post this so many times but it keeps crashing
i hope it doesnt crash this time

BUT OMG THIS IS REALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHAPTERS I'VE EVER WRITTEN
first of all

cute conversation with jack and vic, i love vic's character

adorablely pissed off jack just trying to see his teddy bear, almost kills a nurse in the process
i was laughing while writing that part, i thought it was hilariously adorable

brother and boyfriend bonding moment with tom and jack

then SAD BARADINE
tay has been friendzoned so hard, but you'll see what happens later

im sorry jalex didnt see eachother yet, they were SO CLOSE :O

HOLY CRAP THERE IS ONLY 10 CHAPTERS LEFT GUYS
im sad im going to miss this story

do you have any predictions about how this story is going to end?
leave it down in the comments because i really want to know what you guys are thinking

and i love ALL of the comments you guys write they make me super super super happy and it's fun knowing your opinion on my story

so if you ever want to leave a comment saying what you thought on today's chapter, predictions, or anything feel free!! :D
oh there will probably be another one today since this was yesterdays chapter yayy

taylex is the cutest
but in this story

this is just alex choking tay because tay low key told jack that she loves him

hehe

Title credit- If These Sheets Were The States