I'm Gonna Break Down These Walls
Cause Real life just isn't Right
Alex
I couldn’t get Jack off my mind, for days. It was getting really bad, he got me excited to wake up in the morning, because I really just wanted to see him and talk to him. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can barely even breathe I just wanted to be with him all the time, which is insane because we just met a week ago.
He was just so cute, and funny, and silly, I get excited even thinking about him. Jack is a big flirt, so he always compliments me, which makes my heart fucking soar, but he does it to everyone. He probably isn’t even flirting, maybe he is just a nice guy that compliments people. I’m not special to him, he just thinks of me as a friend, even though I want to be so much more than that.
I knew I was developing real feelings for this boy, and I really need to learn how to bury them down and hide them, but he just keeps pulling me in.
He was eating lunch at a crowded lunch table, there had to be at least 15 people, including Cass who I was becoming better friends with also. Jack’s contagious laughter filled up the room, I wish I was sitting over there with them. I never will, they are all popular, and I’m a nobody.
I glanced over at Brendon, who was staring at me with his jaw wide open in surprise.
“What?” I asked.
“OH HELL NO.” Brendon exclaimed, I realized he caught me staring at Jack. Oh no, he can’t know I’m gay.
“Brendon, it’s not what it looks like.” I covered up.
“Ugh, I know you were staring at Jack. You can’t hide it from me, Alex.”
“Please, don’t tell anyone! Nobody can know-”
“That you’re gay? I can’t believe it, my gaydar was right!”
“Brendon , please!”
“Nobody in Baltimore cares if you’re gay, nobody is straight here. But that’s not the point, you were staring at JACK BARAKAT? Seriously? I can barely stand you being friends with that dick, BUT LIKING HIM?” Brendon exclaimed. I was a little bit relieved because Brendon wasn't straight, and I've already seen a lot of queer people. Maybe I won't be bullied for being gay at this school.
“Yeah…”
“Well you’re new so I don’t blame you, but stay away from him. He is a monster, he will break your heart and stomp on it the second he gets a hold of it. He may look like smokin hot, the definition of tall, dark, and handsome guy, who compliments you every opportunity he gets... but do not fall for it. Jack is a player and sleeps with anyone and everyone in the school. You name it, dumb jocks, easy sluts, drama club gays, to skank cheerleaders, everybody. You do not want to get into that, it ruins everything. It’s a hole you can’t get out of.” Brendon exclaimed, obvious pain and anger in his voice. Wait, girls and boys? Boys?!?
“H-he’s bi?” I gasped.
“Ugh, that’s all you heard from that? Yes, but as your friend, I am telling you not to go anywhere near him. That isn’t what you want, he sleeps with you once and treats you like your the only guy in the world, then a day later he acts like he never met you, and goes on to the next person he thinks is hot. I know you Alex, you want a boyfriend. Jack Barakat is not boyfriend material, he’s not Alex material. You’re too good for him, don’t let him do what he did to me, to you.” Brendon explained.
“Oh, so he did do that to you? Brendon, I’m sorry.” I apologized.
“Yup, he’s an asshole. I saw him making moves on you earlier, don’t believe any of them because they are all lies.”
“Well, don’t worry about it. It’s not like a guy like him would even want to sleep with me anyway.” I muttered.
“Are you kidding, of course he would! Look at you, you’re hot as hell! You have a gorgeous face, a sexy body and a nice ass, you’re a lot better looking than the fuckers he usually sleeps with. Also, you’re british, and you’re shy which makes you even more adorable than you actually are.”
“Uh, Brendon…”
“Oh, no. Don’t worry, I’m not interested in you, I like somebody else. “
“Who?!”
“Well, don’t tell anyone…”
“Um, who would I tell, you’re my only friend.” I chuckled, making him laugh as well.
“It’s Hayley Williams.” He mumbled, pointing to Jack’s lunch table. Oh, I’ve seen her before! She had bright orange hair with bangs, a petite body, and she was totally adorable. She seemed like a sweet, totally down to earth girl, he would be perfect for Brendon. Honestly, I would be all over her if I wasn’t gay.
“You guys would be so cute together!” I said. He smiled, and stared at his crush. Maybe he won’t yell at me for staring at Jack now. He was biting his lip, seeming to be focusing on doing something on his phone. I wonder what he was doing, I hope he wasn’t texting anyone. He was probably planning to hook up with someone, other than me, kissing someone, other than me. I have to be with him, someday…
“Don’t fall for him!!!” Brendon scolded, bringing me back to reality.
“Too late…”
I guess I will keep fantasizing.
I couldn’t get Jack off my mind, for days. It was getting really bad, he got me excited to wake up in the morning, because I really just wanted to see him and talk to him. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can barely even breathe I just wanted to be with him all the time, which is insane because we just met a week ago.
He was just so cute, and funny, and silly, I get excited even thinking about him. Jack is a big flirt, so he always compliments me, which makes my heart fucking soar, but he does it to everyone. He probably isn’t even flirting, maybe he is just a nice guy that compliments people. I’m not special to him, he just thinks of me as a friend, even though I want to be so much more than that.
I knew I was developing real feelings for this boy, and I really need to learn how to bury them down and hide them, but he just keeps pulling me in.
He was eating lunch at a crowded lunch table, there had to be at least 15 people, including Cass who I was becoming better friends with also. Jack’s contagious laughter filled up the room, I wish I was sitting over there with them. I never will, they are all popular, and I’m a nobody.
I glanced over at Brendon, who was staring at me with his jaw wide open in surprise.
“What?” I asked.
“OH HELL NO.” Brendon exclaimed, I realized he caught me staring at Jack. Oh no, he can’t know I’m gay.
“Brendon, it’s not what it looks like.” I covered up.
“Ugh, I know you were staring at Jack. You can’t hide it from me, Alex.”
“Please, don’t tell anyone! Nobody can know-”
“That you’re gay? I can’t believe it, my gaydar was right!”
“Brendon , please!”
“Nobody in Baltimore cares if you’re gay, nobody is straight here. But that’s not the point, you were staring at JACK BARAKAT? Seriously? I can barely stand you being friends with that dick, BUT LIKING HIM?” Brendon exclaimed. I was a little bit relieved because Brendon wasn't straight, and I've already seen a lot of queer people. Maybe I won't be bullied for being gay at this school.
“Yeah…”
“Well you’re new so I don’t blame you, but stay away from him. He is a monster, he will break your heart and stomp on it the second he gets a hold of it. He may look like smokin hot, the definition of tall, dark, and handsome guy, who compliments you every opportunity he gets... but do not fall for it. Jack is a player and sleeps with anyone and everyone in the school. You name it, dumb jocks, easy sluts, drama club gays, to skank cheerleaders, everybody. You do not want to get into that, it ruins everything. It’s a hole you can’t get out of.” Brendon exclaimed, obvious pain and anger in his voice. Wait, girls and boys? Boys?!?
“H-he’s bi?” I gasped.
“Ugh, that’s all you heard from that? Yes, but as your friend, I am telling you not to go anywhere near him. That isn’t what you want, he sleeps with you once and treats you like your the only guy in the world, then a day later he acts like he never met you, and goes on to the next person he thinks is hot. I know you Alex, you want a boyfriend. Jack Barakat is not boyfriend material, he’s not Alex material. You’re too good for him, don’t let him do what he did to me, to you.” Brendon explained.
“Oh, so he did do that to you? Brendon, I’m sorry.” I apologized.
“Yup, he’s an asshole. I saw him making moves on you earlier, don’t believe any of them because they are all lies.”
“Well, don’t worry about it. It’s not like a guy like him would even want to sleep with me anyway.” I muttered.
“Are you kidding, of course he would! Look at you, you’re hot as hell! You have a gorgeous face, a sexy body and a nice ass, you’re a lot better looking than the fuckers he usually sleeps with. Also, you’re british, and you’re shy which makes you even more adorable than you actually are.”
“Uh, Brendon…”
“Oh, no. Don’t worry, I’m not interested in you, I like somebody else. “
“Who?!”
“Well, don’t tell anyone…”
“Um, who would I tell, you’re my only friend.” I chuckled, making him laugh as well.
“It’s Hayley Williams.” He mumbled, pointing to Jack’s lunch table. Oh, I’ve seen her before! She had bright orange hair with bangs, a petite body, and she was totally adorable. She seemed like a sweet, totally down to earth girl, he would be perfect for Brendon. Honestly, I would be all over her if I wasn’t gay.
“You guys would be so cute together!” I said. He smiled, and stared at his crush. Maybe he won’t yell at me for staring at Jack now. He was biting his lip, seeming to be focusing on doing something on his phone. I wonder what he was doing, I hope he wasn’t texting anyone. He was probably planning to hook up with someone, other than me, kissing someone, other than me. I have to be with him, someday…
“Don’t fall for him!!!” Brendon scolded, bringing me back to reality.
“Too late…”
I guess I will keep fantasizing.
Notes
Aww, Alex has such a big crush on Jack :)
I know Brendon is triyng to talk Alex out of liking Jack, but don't worry, Jalex has only just began
btw i changed the song that they were doing for their project to Teenage Dirtbag cuz I have ideas hehe, and if you've never heard that song LISTEN TO IT
anddd, Cassadee Pope is going to be on the Country Music Awards tonight, she's the only country singer I like because shes awesome, I'm pretty excited
AND OH MY GOD TEN SUBSCRIBERS WTF THANK YOU GUYS IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME
look at the cuties ^.^
Title Credit- Under a Paper Moon
"Do you think Tay is going to sabatoge Jalex"
Considering this is my second time reading this, yes
7/11/17