I'm Gonna Break Down These Walls
True, I'm a Walking Disaster
Alex
I couldn’t stop writing. A new song lyric kept popping in my head every five minutes, Jack was giving me so much inspiration in my writing. I wish they were good enough to show him, or even sing him one.
Maybe some time, but right now I was working on a song called Stay Awake. It has a lot of meaning behind it, and the lyrics in the song mean a lot to me so I hope he doesn’t think it’s terrible when I show it to him.
I need his help with matching chords to the different parts of the song, just thinking about Jack help write a song with me gave me such mixed feelings.
I want to, but I don’t want him to be annoyed with how picky I am, or try to change any part of it.
Who am I kidding, they probably all suck, they need all the help they can get.
I heard a flirty whistle in front of me, and looked up to see Jack leaning against a locker staring at me a few yards in front of me. I blushed, he could’ve just called to me, or do anything else to get my attention from staring at the ground lost in thought. Whistling is so embarrassing, hopefully nobody noticed.
I felt myself being pushed off of my feet, and my shoulder unintentionally slammed into the wall. The shove made me gasp in surprise, and I watched my phone drop on the ground, and thankfully not shatter. Good, my parents would not pay for a new one, and I can’t afford it.
I rubbed my upper arm, feeling throbbing pain that I knew would turn into some kind of bruise soon. Just one for more all the other ones scattered along my body. This was all a regular thing, usually it was less brutal, and was the same four or five people including Matty.
It has never happened in front of Jack like this before.
“Faggot.”
It stung to hear the insult shouted at me,reminding me of memories I’ve suppressed, of every day in England.
Shoved into lockers, my arms slammed in doors, beaten until I would lose consciousness, and woke up hours later, just physically and emotionally tortured in general. I thought that everything would be different when we came here, now I’m just reliving the same ruthlessness of school bullies.
I could already feel it affecting my anxiety, bringing up past memories that I only relive unintentionally in nightmares.
I picked up my phone, noticing my body was starting to shake.
Fuck. Did I take my medication this morning? Damn it.
I looked up to see my friends, well, Jack’s friends looking at me completely horrified, Jack stared after my mystery bully having the same expression I saw just a few days ago. Complete rage.
“Are you fucking serious right now Andy? I fucking saw what you did asshole!” Jack walked after my bully with clenched fists, Andy stood there wide eyed. He obviously didn’t know Jack was there.
“Uhh, I’m sorry, I uh-”
“I dare you to say that word one more fucking time,” Jack growled, pinning Andy up against the wall.
Andy looked petrified, was it wrong to say that I felt bad for him? I felt bad for the douche that called me a faggot. Jack was terrifying when he was mad. He was an absolute angel to me, but I would be lying if I didn’t say he was a complete dick to everyone else.
I don’t know if I should be flattered, or turned off at his rudeness, but i don’t care.
I overlook his flaws, like I hope he overlooks mine.
“Okay, down boy.” Rian grabbed Jack and dragged him away from the scene, Jack giving Andy a death stare the entire time.
Jack immediately wrapped two long arms around me, grabbing the back of my hair with one hand, and pressed his face into the crook of my neck. He held me incredibly tight, I had no other choice but to nestle into him.
“Lex, I’ll never let anyone hurt you again I’m so sorry. I was right there.” Jack breathed, looking so pissed off and disappointed in himself.
He kissed my face over and over again, like he was a mother who had just found her lost child in the supermarket. He’s such an amazing boyfriend, I would be so depressed here without him.
Jack’s the reason I wake up in the morning, seeing his face makes all of these bruises on my body feel painless. if I was with him, everything was okay.
“I’m okay, Jack.” I muttered.
I was fine.
“Lex, you’re shaking.” he stated quietly, running a hand up and down my back.
I was fine.
“I think I just forgot to take my anxiety pills this morning…” I mumbled, he frowned.
I was fine.
He looked so concerned for me, I don’t need him worrying more about me than he already does. I felt like actual shit, seconds away from collapsing on the ground onto my knees, sobbing into my hands.
I was fine.
I took a deep breath, and leaned on him so my head was on his chest, he held me tight to his body. I can save crying till I get home, like usual.
“Don’t worry Lex, I’ll protect you from anybody. I’ll keep you safe.” he soothed, kissing my forehead softly.
I couldn’t help but blush, but I didn’t respond to him. I usually would repeat some other cutesy remark to him, but I didn’t feel like talking right now, I think he understood.
“AWWWWWWW” Cass squealed, I didn’t bother to un hide my face.
“I’ve never seen Jack be so aggressive.” Hayley stated.
“Then you didn’t see him beat the shit out of Matty,” Zack chuckled.
“He’s not aggressive, he’s just possessive.” Cass defended Jack, like always.
Possessive wasn’t necessarily a better thing than aggressive, but it’s not like it wasn’t true. I didn’t mind it though, I think it actually comforted me knowing he was so controlling. I know that am a pretty submissive person, Jack doesn’t take advantage of that though, but it’s just another reason why we are perfect for each other.
Nobody’s ever cared about me like this, it’s nice to know someone wants to keep me safe, and happy all the time. Everyone likes some smothering once and a while, especially me who has very little experience with being cared about.
“I can’t help it, he brings out the protective side of me. I don’t want anybody hurting my baby boyfriend.” Jack squeezed me tighter.
“I’m not a baby Jack, I can handle stuff on my own.” I mumbled.
“Yeah, just taking the hell people put you through, is not handling it, that guy deserves to have his ass kicked, if I ever see him near you again, I will seriously fuck him up. And to me, you’re a baby, because you’re my baby.”
I know it’s just a cute nickname, but it gave me butterflies.
I couldn’t stop writing. A new song lyric kept popping in my head every five minutes, Jack was giving me so much inspiration in my writing. I wish they were good enough to show him, or even sing him one.
Maybe some time, but right now I was working on a song called Stay Awake. It has a lot of meaning behind it, and the lyrics in the song mean a lot to me so I hope he doesn’t think it’s terrible when I show it to him.
I need his help with matching chords to the different parts of the song, just thinking about Jack help write a song with me gave me such mixed feelings.
I want to, but I don’t want him to be annoyed with how picky I am, or try to change any part of it.
Who am I kidding, they probably all suck, they need all the help they can get.
I heard a flirty whistle in front of me, and looked up to see Jack leaning against a locker staring at me a few yards in front of me. I blushed, he could’ve just called to me, or do anything else to get my attention from staring at the ground lost in thought. Whistling is so embarrassing, hopefully nobody noticed.
I felt myself being pushed off of my feet, and my shoulder unintentionally slammed into the wall. The shove made me gasp in surprise, and I watched my phone drop on the ground, and thankfully not shatter. Good, my parents would not pay for a new one, and I can’t afford it.
I rubbed my upper arm, feeling throbbing pain that I knew would turn into some kind of bruise soon. Just one for more all the other ones scattered along my body. This was all a regular thing, usually it was less brutal, and was the same four or five people including Matty.
It has never happened in front of Jack like this before.
“Faggot.”
It stung to hear the insult shouted at me,reminding me of memories I’ve suppressed, of every day in England.
Shoved into lockers, my arms slammed in doors, beaten until I would lose consciousness, and woke up hours later, just physically and emotionally tortured in general. I thought that everything would be different when we came here, now I’m just reliving the same ruthlessness of school bullies.
I could already feel it affecting my anxiety, bringing up past memories that I only relive unintentionally in nightmares.
I picked up my phone, noticing my body was starting to shake.
Fuck. Did I take my medication this morning? Damn it.
I looked up to see my friends, well, Jack’s friends looking at me completely horrified, Jack stared after my mystery bully having the same expression I saw just a few days ago. Complete rage.
“Are you fucking serious right now Andy? I fucking saw what you did asshole!” Jack walked after my bully with clenched fists, Andy stood there wide eyed. He obviously didn’t know Jack was there.
“Uhh, I’m sorry, I uh-”
“I dare you to say that word one more fucking time,” Jack growled, pinning Andy up against the wall.
Andy looked petrified, was it wrong to say that I felt bad for him? I felt bad for the douche that called me a faggot. Jack was terrifying when he was mad. He was an absolute angel to me, but I would be lying if I didn’t say he was a complete dick to everyone else.
I don’t know if I should be flattered, or turned off at his rudeness, but i don’t care.
I overlook his flaws, like I hope he overlooks mine.
“Okay, down boy.” Rian grabbed Jack and dragged him away from the scene, Jack giving Andy a death stare the entire time.
Jack immediately wrapped two long arms around me, grabbing the back of my hair with one hand, and pressed his face into the crook of my neck. He held me incredibly tight, I had no other choice but to nestle into him.
“Lex, I’ll never let anyone hurt you again I’m so sorry. I was right there.” Jack breathed, looking so pissed off and disappointed in himself.
He kissed my face over and over again, like he was a mother who had just found her lost child in the supermarket. He’s such an amazing boyfriend, I would be so depressed here without him.
Jack’s the reason I wake up in the morning, seeing his face makes all of these bruises on my body feel painless. if I was with him, everything was okay.
“I’m okay, Jack.” I muttered.
I was fine.
“Lex, you’re shaking.” he stated quietly, running a hand up and down my back.
I was fine.
“I think I just forgot to take my anxiety pills this morning…” I mumbled, he frowned.
I was fine.
He looked so concerned for me, I don’t need him worrying more about me than he already does. I felt like actual shit, seconds away from collapsing on the ground onto my knees, sobbing into my hands.
I was fine.
I took a deep breath, and leaned on him so my head was on his chest, he held me tight to his body. I can save crying till I get home, like usual.
“Don’t worry Lex, I’ll protect you from anybody. I’ll keep you safe.” he soothed, kissing my forehead softly.
I couldn’t help but blush, but I didn’t respond to him. I usually would repeat some other cutesy remark to him, but I didn’t feel like talking right now, I think he understood.
“AWWWWWWW” Cass squealed, I didn’t bother to un hide my face.
“I’ve never seen Jack be so aggressive.” Hayley stated.
“Then you didn’t see him beat the shit out of Matty,” Zack chuckled.
“He’s not aggressive, he’s just possessive.” Cass defended Jack, like always.
Possessive wasn’t necessarily a better thing than aggressive, but it’s not like it wasn’t true. I didn’t mind it though, I think it actually comforted me knowing he was so controlling. I know that am a pretty submissive person, Jack doesn’t take advantage of that though, but it’s just another reason why we are perfect for each other.
Nobody’s ever cared about me like this, it’s nice to know someone wants to keep me safe, and happy all the time. Everyone likes some smothering once and a while, especially me who has very little experience with being cared about.
“I can’t help it, he brings out the protective side of me. I don’t want anybody hurting my baby boyfriend.” Jack squeezed me tighter.
“I’m not a baby Jack, I can handle stuff on my own.” I mumbled.
“Yeah, just taking the hell people put you through, is not handling it, that guy deserves to have his ass kicked, if I ever see him near you again, I will seriously fuck him up. And to me, you’re a baby, because you’re my baby.”
I know it’s just a cute nickname, but it gave me butterflies.
Notes
4 DAYS I KNOW
IM SORRY
but im back, i've had such a busy past two weeks, but i'll be posting on my regular schedule for a while, until i have to take finals
but im gonna churn out as much jalex as i can XD
im having jalex withdrawls, i can't stop writing because i haven't been writing well for like a week
and idk why i made alex so angsty in this chapter, but i kinda like it
he seems depressed but i love it, im so mean to alex in this story
its okay, he's back to his sweetie self in the next chapters
and protective jack is cute jack
jk jack is always cute jack
Title credit- Forget About It
"Do you think Tay is going to sabatoge Jalex"
Considering this is my second time reading this, yes
7/11/17