Live While We're Young
Red
When Charlotte and I got home we both went straight for our living room and passed out on the couches. I don’t even think we locked our apartment back up; which now that I think of it is probably a horrible idea. I had so many things I wanted to get done before I went back to work tomorrow which cannot happen now that I passed out for half the day. When I wake up from my 4 hour nap I decide I should probably call Zack and let him know we made it back okay.
I grab my phone and dial his number; I waited and waited for him to pick up but he never did, which makes me kind of sad. So I leave him a message, “Hey Zachary I just was calling to let you know Charlotte and I made it home okay. I miss you guys already. Please give me a call when you’re free, I need to hear your voice. Oh this is Finlee by the way.”
After I called my boy the hours seemed to tick by slowly as I stared at my phone intently waiting for him to call me back. Around 10 pm I gave up on waiting for the call and decided I needed to be productive for at least a little bit before I get back to my old life again. So I text Zack just to make sure he didn’t die and get to work. To: Zack <3
Hey cutie. Just making sure you made it home okay and got my message. Miss you and the guys. Let me know when you are conscious again. ~Finlee :-*
November 21, 2011
Hey y’ll,
I am back in VA and off tour now. We got back around noon today; both Char and I were totally hung over on the flight of course which SUCKED. I have now vowed that if I go on tour with the guys ever again I am not drinking heavily the night before I go back home. Zack and I are officially dating now though which is AWESOME.
In other news I got a letter back from my brother, Fisher. He said he wasn’t really sure if he wanted to get to know me but he would be in Tacoma, WA in a week so he invited me out that way to “meet” him. We will see if a. I can get time off work again and b. if I will be able to convince myself it’s a good idea. I was hoping Zack would go with me but I think he will still be dead at that point since I still haven’t heard from him. I will let y’ll know if I decide to head that way.
I have still been pretty sad because of what my mother wrote me but I think I have been hiding it well from everyone. I can’t let her get me down at this point in my life when I have such huge dreams for myself to focus on.
Tomorrow I go back to The Bean full time; it will be weird to be working at that place again. I also start school back up in a way. I did school while I was gone for the few weeks I was on tour via internet but tomorrow will be the first day back in the class room. I better go get ready to get back to my mediocre life now.
Have a safe week y’ll…
Finlee Rayne
The Next Day
I have realized that my life is quite uneventful without chasing four boys around constantly like a mother hen. All I have done today is go to class and work. Now I am just waiting for Char to get home so that I can have some friendly interaction today, something I have missed a lot since we got home. It probably doesn’t help that I am beginning to feel super sad because I still haven’t heard a peep from the boyfriend of mine; I guess that is something I should start getting used to (which I do not know if I can do that at this point).
“Rayne… I wish we could just be done with school already,” I heard Charlotte yell to me as she got home.
“I know how you feel,” I replied as she sat down. “Have you heard from anyone today?”
“Yeah Jack has been talking to me all day. He says it was weird not having me in his bed with him last night.”
“Oh,” was all I could get out of my mouth because I was trying not to cry.
“What’s wrong Rayne?”
“I really need my boyfriend and he won’t answer my calls or anything. I am trying to not be one of those girls but I miss him being there when I needed someone to cheer me up,” I choked out.
“I’m here for you Rayne. But I understand. Maybe he’s just not near his phone or is sleeping or something,” she said with a hopeful smile.
“Yeah maybe… So how far behind have you become in your classes? I feel like I need to start my classes over at this point,” I look at her and say.
“Ugh I just wish we could finish school and be smart online. I fell asleep like 20 times in each class today!” she dramatically said as she went to the kitchen to make some food.
Charlotte can be so dramatic; which in this case really cheered me up. I then decide I will try Zack one more time before I try and get caught up with the real world. After the second ring somebody picks up.
“Hello,” a female voice says.
“Uh… hi, who is this?”
“This is Piper. Who’s this?”
“Finlee, is Zack around?”
“Oh yeah let me go get him,” and she yells for him in the distance.
“Uh, hello?”
“Hey cutie : )”
“Oh, hey babe, what’s up?”
“I was just calling to make sure you made it home okay. And I may or may not have needed to hear your voice to cheer me up.”
“Yeah I made it home fine. Well did hearing it help you out?”
“Yeah it did. Anyway I also wanted to tell you I got a letter from my brother.”
“I saw that on your blog.”
“Are you busy or something Zack? You seem like you don’t want to talk. And who is Piper?”
“Not really just tired. Piper is my cousin, Finlee, no need to get irritated.”
“I’m not irritated! And since you are ‘tired’ I guess I will leave you alone until the stick up your ass is gone then!” and then slammed the phone down on the couch.
Ugh I hate guys sometimes!
Zack's POV
What the hell is Finlee’s problem? I don’t understand what the big deal with me no contacting her for one day. I was busy with my family and sleeping. I guess we both need to learn a few things to keep this long distance thing continuing. To: Finlee
Hey baby. I am so sorry; it’s been a really stressful day. What did you need to talk about?
Hopefully she forgives me easy this time. But women are confusing so I guess you can never assume, right? From: Finlee
Don’t worry about it; have a nice time with your family Zack.
Nope, she definitely has not forgiven me yet. Great, I love when people (especially her) are pissed at me; it’s what I strive for each and every day. To: Finlee
Babe, I’m sorry, okay!?! Tell what the problem is so I can fix it.
From: Finlee
I said never mind Zack! I just needed to hear MY BOYFRIEND’S voice to reassure me that going to WA this weekend was the right thing to do. I now know that he could care less, so forget it!
Wow, she is madder than I thought she would be. I do not know how to fix it quite yet but I will figure something out because I can’t lose her when I just got her to be mine. I decide to leave it alone for now and try to get her to forgive me later.
Finlee's POV
Thursday afternoon (3 days later)
Today would mark the third day without talking to Zack. It really irked me that he was being a jerk to me because he was tired when I only called to ask advice. Anyway I got the weekend off and bought a cheap plane ticket to Tacoma for midnight tonight Eastern Time. Hopefully it all goes well since I didn’t get a chance to ask Zack to join.
Jack surprised Char yesterday so now I am also the third wheel in my own apartment. He said he “missed her too much” to not see her “beautiful face” again so soon. They are so gushy that I just want to puke when I am around them. In order to combat this I basically have been just living in my room constantly.
Right now I am packing my carry-on bag so that I can just bolt out of here as soon as possible (its 5 pm). I hope I feel more at home when on the west coast than I have been feeling here lately. I should also probably at least text Zack and tell him we can talk when I get back, though it pains me to do so.
To: Zack <3
I am headed to WA later tonight for the weekend. I just wanted to give you a heads up in case you care. <3 Me
Now all I have to do is sit in my room, mope and watch YouTube videos until I leave for the airport at 8. This may mean that I have to re-watch quite a few YouTube videos in the mix.
10 pm
After what seemed like the longest drive and check in to the airport I made it to my gate. Now I just needed to make it on the plane and to WA. Have I ever mentioned my slight hate for long flights? You are all cramped up in a seat for hours on end next to strangers who could be carry an incurable disease without the ability to allow you to move from your seat EVER. I probably think it sucks more than it does also because I have nobody to lean on during this red eye this time around. Sometimes my boyfriend disappoints me.
As I got settled in my seat (by the window, thankfully) I decided I needed to reflect on myself and stop being so negative before I met Fisher. It is bad enough that he is wary of meeting me he doesn’t need me to be a Debbie Downer at the same time. I don’t need to bring my personal issues into what could be the most important meeting of my life recently.
The time flies by on this particular flight which I am very grateful for. We landed in WA around 12:30 am local time. I was VERY tired by the time I made it out of the airport and to the shuttle for my hotel in downtown Tacoma. After I checked in I made it to my room and passed out on my bed almost right away. The email I was planning on sending to Fisher will have to wait until tomorrow.
Zack's POV
I get this semi-sarcastic text from Finlee tonight that I have no idea what I should think about it. She knows I care about her, or so I thought I had been making sure to tell her I do. It has just been a very stressful week since I got home. I guess I was too enthralled in my own issues that I wasn’t there for her when she needed it most. Sometimes I wish I could rewind time and redo conversations with that girl. She is too important to let slip through my fingers.
Finlee's POV
The Next Morning
I woke up around 8 am this morning and decide to start getting myself ready for the day. The first thing I need to do is write Fisher a quick email that I arrived in WA and to meet me at noon in the café at the hotel I am staying at. After that there is only so much that I can do to myself before making my way downstairs and hoping that Fisher shows up.
The minutes and hours tick by slowly but in no time I make my way to the café to find a table. After about 20 minutes sitting alone in the café I began to panic that he was not going to show up (it was 12:20).
Then I hear someone say to me, “Is this seat taken?”
I look up, “Are you Fish-… Zack?!”
I grab my phone and dial his number; I waited and waited for him to pick up but he never did, which makes me kind of sad. So I leave him a message, “Hey Zachary I just was calling to let you know Charlotte and I made it home okay. I miss you guys already. Please give me a call when you’re free, I need to hear your voice. Oh this is Finlee by the way.”
After I called my boy the hours seemed to tick by slowly as I stared at my phone intently waiting for him to call me back. Around 10 pm I gave up on waiting for the call and decided I needed to be productive for at least a little bit before I get back to my old life again. So I text Zack just to make sure he didn’t die and get to work. To: Zack <3
Hey cutie. Just making sure you made it home okay and got my message. Miss you and the guys. Let me know when you are conscious again. ~Finlee :-*
November 21, 2011
Hey y’ll,
I am back in VA and off tour now. We got back around noon today; both Char and I were totally hung over on the flight of course which SUCKED. I have now vowed that if I go on tour with the guys ever again I am not drinking heavily the night before I go back home. Zack and I are officially dating now though which is AWESOME.
In other news I got a letter back from my brother, Fisher. He said he wasn’t really sure if he wanted to get to know me but he would be in Tacoma, WA in a week so he invited me out that way to “meet” him. We will see if a. I can get time off work again and b. if I will be able to convince myself it’s a good idea. I was hoping Zack would go with me but I think he will still be dead at that point since I still haven’t heard from him. I will let y’ll know if I decide to head that way.
I have still been pretty sad because of what my mother wrote me but I think I have been hiding it well from everyone. I can’t let her get me down at this point in my life when I have such huge dreams for myself to focus on.
Tomorrow I go back to The Bean full time; it will be weird to be working at that place again. I also start school back up in a way. I did school while I was gone for the few weeks I was on tour via internet but tomorrow will be the first day back in the class room. I better go get ready to get back to my mediocre life now.
Have a safe week y’ll…
Finlee Rayne
The Next Day
I have realized that my life is quite uneventful without chasing four boys around constantly like a mother hen. All I have done today is go to class and work. Now I am just waiting for Char to get home so that I can have some friendly interaction today, something I have missed a lot since we got home. It probably doesn’t help that I am beginning to feel super sad because I still haven’t heard a peep from the boyfriend of mine; I guess that is something I should start getting used to (which I do not know if I can do that at this point).
“Rayne… I wish we could just be done with school already,” I heard Charlotte yell to me as she got home.
“I know how you feel,” I replied as she sat down. “Have you heard from anyone today?”
“Yeah Jack has been talking to me all day. He says it was weird not having me in his bed with him last night.”
“Oh,” was all I could get out of my mouth because I was trying not to cry.
“What’s wrong Rayne?”
“I really need my boyfriend and he won’t answer my calls or anything. I am trying to not be one of those girls but I miss him being there when I needed someone to cheer me up,” I choked out.
“I’m here for you Rayne. But I understand. Maybe he’s just not near his phone or is sleeping or something,” she said with a hopeful smile.
“Yeah maybe… So how far behind have you become in your classes? I feel like I need to start my classes over at this point,” I look at her and say.
“Ugh I just wish we could finish school and be smart online. I fell asleep like 20 times in each class today!” she dramatically said as she went to the kitchen to make some food.
Charlotte can be so dramatic; which in this case really cheered me up. I then decide I will try Zack one more time before I try and get caught up with the real world. After the second ring somebody picks up.
“Hello,” a female voice says.
“Uh… hi, who is this?”
“This is Piper. Who’s this?”
“Finlee, is Zack around?”
“Oh yeah let me go get him,” and she yells for him in the distance.
“Uh, hello?”
“Hey cutie : )”
“Oh, hey babe, what’s up?”
“I was just calling to make sure you made it home okay. And I may or may not have needed to hear your voice to cheer me up.”
“Yeah I made it home fine. Well did hearing it help you out?”
“Yeah it did. Anyway I also wanted to tell you I got a letter from my brother.”
“I saw that on your blog.”
“Are you busy or something Zack? You seem like you don’t want to talk. And who is Piper?”
“Not really just tired. Piper is my cousin, Finlee, no need to get irritated.”
“I’m not irritated! And since you are ‘tired’ I guess I will leave you alone until the stick up your ass is gone then!” and then slammed the phone down on the couch.
Ugh I hate guys sometimes!
Zack's POV
What the hell is Finlee’s problem? I don’t understand what the big deal with me no contacting her for one day. I was busy with my family and sleeping. I guess we both need to learn a few things to keep this long distance thing continuing. To: Finlee
Hey baby. I am so sorry; it’s been a really stressful day. What did you need to talk about?
Hopefully she forgives me easy this time. But women are confusing so I guess you can never assume, right? From: Finlee
Don’t worry about it; have a nice time with your family Zack.
Nope, she definitely has not forgiven me yet. Great, I love when people (especially her) are pissed at me; it’s what I strive for each and every day. To: Finlee
Babe, I’m sorry, okay!?! Tell what the problem is so I can fix it.
From: Finlee
I said never mind Zack! I just needed to hear MY BOYFRIEND’S voice to reassure me that going to WA this weekend was the right thing to do. I now know that he could care less, so forget it!
Wow, she is madder than I thought she would be. I do not know how to fix it quite yet but I will figure something out because I can’t lose her when I just got her to be mine. I decide to leave it alone for now and try to get her to forgive me later.
Finlee's POV
Thursday afternoon (3 days later)
Today would mark the third day without talking to Zack. It really irked me that he was being a jerk to me because he was tired when I only called to ask advice. Anyway I got the weekend off and bought a cheap plane ticket to Tacoma for midnight tonight Eastern Time. Hopefully it all goes well since I didn’t get a chance to ask Zack to join.
Jack surprised Char yesterday so now I am also the third wheel in my own apartment. He said he “missed her too much” to not see her “beautiful face” again so soon. They are so gushy that I just want to puke when I am around them. In order to combat this I basically have been just living in my room constantly.
Right now I am packing my carry-on bag so that I can just bolt out of here as soon as possible (its 5 pm). I hope I feel more at home when on the west coast than I have been feeling here lately. I should also probably at least text Zack and tell him we can talk when I get back, though it pains me to do so.
To: Zack <3
I am headed to WA later tonight for the weekend. I just wanted to give you a heads up in case you care. <3 Me
Now all I have to do is sit in my room, mope and watch YouTube videos until I leave for the airport at 8. This may mean that I have to re-watch quite a few YouTube videos in the mix.
10 pm
After what seemed like the longest drive and check in to the airport I made it to my gate. Now I just needed to make it on the plane and to WA. Have I ever mentioned my slight hate for long flights? You are all cramped up in a seat for hours on end next to strangers who could be carry an incurable disease without the ability to allow you to move from your seat EVER. I probably think it sucks more than it does also because I have nobody to lean on during this red eye this time around. Sometimes my boyfriend disappoints me.
As I got settled in my seat (by the window, thankfully) I decided I needed to reflect on myself and stop being so negative before I met Fisher. It is bad enough that he is wary of meeting me he doesn’t need me to be a Debbie Downer at the same time. I don’t need to bring my personal issues into what could be the most important meeting of my life recently.
The time flies by on this particular flight which I am very grateful for. We landed in WA around 12:30 am local time. I was VERY tired by the time I made it out of the airport and to the shuttle for my hotel in downtown Tacoma. After I checked in I made it to my room and passed out on my bed almost right away. The email I was planning on sending to Fisher will have to wait until tomorrow.
Zack's POV
I get this semi-sarcastic text from Finlee tonight that I have no idea what I should think about it. She knows I care about her, or so I thought I had been making sure to tell her I do. It has just been a very stressful week since I got home. I guess I was too enthralled in my own issues that I wasn’t there for her when she needed it most. Sometimes I wish I could rewind time and redo conversations with that girl. She is too important to let slip through my fingers.
Finlee's POV
The Next Morning
I woke up around 8 am this morning and decide to start getting myself ready for the day. The first thing I need to do is write Fisher a quick email that I arrived in WA and to meet me at noon in the café at the hotel I am staying at. After that there is only so much that I can do to myself before making my way downstairs and hoping that Fisher shows up.
The minutes and hours tick by slowly but in no time I make my way to the café to find a table. After about 20 minutes sitting alone in the café I began to panic that he was not going to show up (it was 12:20).
Then I hear someone say to me, “Is this seat taken?”
I look up, “Are you Fish-… Zack?!”
Notes
I know there aren't many subscribers reading at this point so thanks to those who are still enjoying Finlee's journey with me. Hope you guys liked this chapter. Comment please :DPs- I think I changed the title of this thing a good 10 times before it was published this week oops!
Ok. =) Can't wait.
1/11/13