A few days later Alex couldn't have been happier to be out the hospital, walking silently behind Kathy he got into her car and they drove home."Are they coming home?" Alex asked looking down at his bandaged arm."I'm not sure, your mum did sound rather upset but on the phone" Kathy said as she pulled into the driveway and parked the car next to Alex's. He got out and went straight to his room and pulled out his phone, 11.30 that meant that Jack would still be in his classes until 1.Alex sighed and checked the rest of his messages, two from Rian and one from Zack and Flyzik. Just then his phoned buzzed and Alex saw that Rian was phoning him."Hello" Alex answered wondering why Rian was phoning him."Hey Alex are you ok?" He asked sounding concerned, Alex rolled his eyes at the question."I'm ok, I'll be back tomorrow" Alex said looking at his door as Kathy walked in with his medicine."Good, eh I was wondering if I could maybe talk to you later?" Rian said down the phone but it sounded more like a question, Alex felt his heart rate pick up. Did they know about him and Jack? Was he off the team? Why did Rian need to talk to him?"Well I can't tonight cause I don't want you to catch anything but what about tomorrow after school? I'll drive by yours in the morning so you don't have to bring your car" Alex suggested as Kathy stood looking impatient."Sounds fine thanks Alex, talk to you tomorrow and your lazy ass better not be late" Rian said giving a slight chuckle."No problem, I cant make any promises here. See ya" Alex said hanging up and he knew from the conversation that something was seriously wrong with Rian."What?" Alex asked looking at Kathy as she shook her head while he swallowed his medicine."I dont like you lying to your friends" She said sighing"Would you rather I told them I was in hospital for nearing killing myself?" He snapped back and Kathy just looked at him with a sad look."I've already watched your brother go through all this, I will not let you have the same fate Alex" She said and with that left him alone in his room. Kathy's words brought tears to his eyes, she had never said anything like that to him before and the mention of his brother made everything slap him in the face. A few hours later he walked down the hallway to his brothers empty room, opening the door slowly he took in his brothers things. No one had been in here since he died so everything was left the way it had been on his final day. Bed still unmade, notepads open, crumpled letters scattered on the floor, clothes lying everywhere, the music and football posters just starting to fall off the wall and the acoustic guitar Kathy had bought him when he was younger lay in the corner collecting dust. Alex held back sobs as he took in his older brothers smell, it was still there after all these years he expected to turn round and have him standing there and telling Alex that if he didn't leave he was getting thrown in the pool. He had done it a few times when Alex was younger but he never dropped him in without jumping in himself to pretend to save Alex from the sharks."I miss you so much" Alex choked out as he fought back sobs."I miss you so fucking much, why did you leave me? I need you now more than ever, why did you leave!" Alex sobbed as he ran out the room and crawled under the covers of his bed. All he wanted was to hear his brothers voice one more time, to ask him what he should do, to ask him if he was finally happy and to tell him he was sorry for blaming everything on him once he had left."Alex you have school and Rian to pick up" Kathy said shaking Alex awake, the next morning, getting up Alex shoved on jeans and a hoodie while he got Kathy to write a letter to his coach saying he would be out for a few weeks."I'll see you when you get home" Kathy smiled as Alex grabbed his keys and went to go pick up Rian. Pulling up outside his house he waited for a few minutes and then Rian ran out, he gave Alex a half smile when he got in the car, Alex left it and drove them to school. Once Alex parked Rian spoke for the first time since he got into the car."Please don't tell Zack that I'm coming over later" Rian said a desparate look in his eyes, Alex nodded he had never seen Rian like this it wasn't like him. He seemed to relax once Alex nodded"Why?" He asked wanting to know what had him so worked up."You'll see when we go in" Rian said as he opened the door and walked towards the entrance. Alex and Rian went to their lockers which Flyzik and Colussy were already standing at."Gaskarth your back!" Flyzik shouted and gave him a one armed hug and Colussy just smiled at him."Yeah stomach bug, was nasty, where's Zack?" Alex asked looking down the hall expecting to see Zack's curly hair over the crowd of other students."He's talking to coach about the game in a few weeks" Colussy said grabbing his bag out his locker and slammed it shut, Alex looked at Rian who has pretending to look for something in his locker. Just then Alex caught sight of Jack, he had his eyes on the floor and Alex noticed that he had styled his hair the same way as he had when they went on that date. Jack looked up and saw Alex and then looked away quickly again, Alex sighed as he pulled out his chemistry stuff and walked to class with Rian, both of them deep in thought. Alex hated how he had to walk past Jack like he wasn't even there and act like they weren't going out, Alex felt his phone buzz and opened the message quickly before he entered class. Jack.To Alex.Can I stay at yours tomorrow? I'll tell you why later ly xAlex smiled as he read the love you part, sending him a quick reply he shoved his phone away and took his usual seat next to Rian at the back. Class had already started when Zack walked in, Rian was pouring some purple liquid into a beaker so he didn't notice him walk in which Alex was greatful for because the boy would have dropped everything he was holding."Not good enough Zack" the teacher said as Zack nodded and went to catch up on what he had missed. He turned round and smiled at Alex who waved and he seemed to tense at the sight of Rian and turned away quickly which caused a beaker to smash."Clean it up" the teacher sighed as she helped Zack pick up the glass shards, Alex looked at Rian who was just shaking his head."Going to be a long fucking day" Alex sighed as he and Rian finished the experiment. The last bell rang and Alex practically ran out of his class, flung everything in his locker and waited by his car for Rian. As he was waiting Zack and Flyzik came over."Who you waiting on?" Flyzik asked and Alex knew he couldn't lie but he wasn't going to tell the whole truth."Rian, his car broke this morning so I'm giving him a lift till its fixed" Alex said shrugging."Why didn't he ask you? You stay closer to him than Alex" Flyzik said to Zack who snapped out his daydream."No fucking clue" Zack mumbled and Flyzik looked at Alex who shrugged. Hurry up Rian! Alex thought."What was coach talking to you about?" Alex asked."Yeah" Flyzik added and Zack rolled his eyes."Just saying that I was to take Alex's place until he could play again" Zack shrugged"Don't let me down Merrick" Alex said punching him on the shoulder and Zack laughed"I'll try not to, I have to go anyway so hurry Matt or your fat ass is walking home" Zack said as Alex waved bye and Flyzik ran to Zack's car clearly not wanting to walk. Rian decided to appear a few minutes later"You waiting till they left?" Alex asked and he knew by the look on his friends face he had."Get in you idiot" Alex laughed and drove them to his."Rian! I havent seen you in a while" Kathy said as soon as they walked into the house and Rian smiled."Yeah its been a while, good to see you again" Rian said as Alex pushed him upstairs to his room. Rian hadn't been in the room two minutes when Alex hit him with questions."Right what is wrong? What happened between you and Zack?" Alex hit out and Rian sighed sitting on the bed next to Alex."You have to promise me you won't tell anyone" Rian said and Alex nodded crossing his heart which caused Rian to smile slightly."Okay so know how that party when you and Zack got into a fight?" Rian started and Alex nodded the bruise on his eye was now a yellow colour."Well I had been invited to another party the next night and I took Zack as the plus one, it was some guy who knew Cass but anyway I got really drunk and all the usual" Rian said and Alex knew he was leaving something out."Rian I'm not seeing a problem here" Alex said frowning and the boy ran a hand over his head."I kissed Zack ok!" He spat out.