Monday afternoon the two boys sat around the kitchen table frantically scribbling notes for Wednesday's history presentation."Why didn't we do anything yesterday" Jack complained shaking his hand while re-reading his notes."Because someone wanted to have a Home Alone marathon and refused to look at anything school wise" Alex said not taking his eyes off the textbook in front of him, Jack went to snap a reply instead he looked like a fish who couldn't breathe."Studying hard I see" Came Kathy's voice as she walked into the kitchen and started unpacking the groceries."More like cramming last minute" Jack mumbled unhappy as he watched Alex write out notes, smiling at the way his lips turned into a half pout while concentrating."Jack you staying for dinner?" Kathy asked smiling at him, Alex finally looked up from his textbook and sent Jack a sweet smile."I'd love to" He said squeezing Alex's hand lightly under the table once Kathy turned her attention to making dinner. A few hours later Alex decided that they should have enough to talk about when Wednesday arrived."Thank God! I think my hand is about to fall off" Jack said waving his hand in front of Alex's face as they went up stairs to Alex's room."Your hand! I done ALL the writing lazy!" Alex said smacking Jack's hand out his face."Can we-" Jack started but Alex cut in"I swear if you ask to watch home alone or batman I am going to scream" he said rubbing his temples"No I was going to ask if we could play Mario Kart" Jack said looking at his feet and Alex knew he had upset him."Sounds like a good idea but I am the best at this game" Alex said throwing Jack a controller as he turned on the game console."I wanted to be yoshi! Come on Alex you've been him the whole game" Jack moaned choosing the weird looking mushroom, Alex rolled his eyes and swapped controllers with Jack."Thank you" Jacks said giving him a quick kiss before the race started, a few races later Alex could tell something was bothering Jack. He didn't even seem to care he was 2nd last, pausing the game Alex looked at him."Jack" he said but the boy continued to stare at the TV screen, Alex knelt down so his face was level with Jack's and looked at him."It's all going to change now isn't" Jack whispered looking right at Alex his massive eyes filling with tears,"Yeah I guess it is" Alex said knowing that lying wouldn't do any good in this situation. Jack gave a small laugh as tears rolled down his cheeks"Blunt honesty I like it" and Alex laughed"I know it's going to be difficult Jack, going back to school and everything but I'm willing to make this work" He said as Jack just stared at the floor."I would love to walk into school tomorrow holding your hand but think about the amount of shit we would both get and I'm scared as hell Jack. I can't do that just yet please understand that, but I swear one day I will walk down be it a school corridor or the town centre holding your hand and showing you off as mine. Just for now we have to pretend nothing happened. I'm sorry Jack you don't deserve me" Alex said sitting next to Jack, the two of them sat in silence until Kathy called up saying dinner was ready. They walked down in silence and sat at the table looking at the plate of food in front of them, Alex looked at Jack who smiled at him but he had a sad look in his eyes."I'll be back in a minute" Alex whispered and half ran up the stairs to the bathroom, flinging the medicine cabinet open Alex tossed everything onto the floor not caring about the noise. Finding the plastic box he opened it and took the silver metal out and looked at it, everything he was doing to Jack in the front if his mind. How selfish he was being, Jack shouldn't have to be with him, he deserved someone better, someone who would go to school and hold his hand in the corridor."Alex hey I- Oh my God what no!" Jack screamed holding Alex's bleeding arm and got tissue to soak up the blood but there was so much. Alex was starting to feel light headed and his eyes were closing."Alex! Stay awake you hear me! Alex!" Jack pleaded with him tears running down his face, Alex lifted his other hand and wiped away Jack's tears. "Kathy! Call 911!" was the last thing Alex faintly heard before he was swimming in a pool of black.__"What did the doctors say?" Alex heard Jack say and he knew he was in the hospital, he didn't want them to know he was awake because he couldn't handle all the questions as soon as he opened his eyes. He kept concentrated on keeping his breathing even and not flicker his eyes."He lost a lot of blood and cut quite deep, but they said if you hadn't put pressure and that tissue on the cut he probably wouldn't be here" Kathy said and by her voice Alex could tell she had been crying, which made Alex feel awful."Did you phone his parents?" Jack whispered but there was no answer so he knew Kathy had either nodded or shook her head, Alex wanted to know if nearly dying was enough to bring them home even for one day. There was silence after that and Alex was pretty sure he feel back asleep but woke when someone took his hand, lying still he listened."This is all my fault" Jack whispered thinking that Alex couldn't hear what he was saying."Seeing you there on the bathroom floor sobbing with all that blood I just wanted to run away, knowing that I was the one was caused you to do that to yourself kills me. You where wrong when you said I don't deserve you because the truth is you don't deserve me, I don't deserve this amazing, funny, beautiful boy who wasted his time on me when everyone thought I was nothing" Jack took a shaky breath and Alex felt him put his head on the side of the hospital bed."Fuck Alex I am so sorry, I can't lose you and I don't care about if people know we're together or not! I just want to be with you" Jack started to cry and Alex thought now would be a good time to wake up, squeezing Jack's hand he opened his eyes slightly and saw Jack's happy but tear stained face looking at him."Did you hear all that?" Jack asked blushing and Alex nodded,"Yeah" He croaked out and Jack laughed still crying."Come here" Alex said and made room for Jack to sit on the bed next to him, taking Jack's face between his hands he kissed him hard and Jack kissed him back."I'm sorry Alex" Jack whispered but he put his hand over Jack's mouth,"None of this was your fault ok" He said and Jack nodded slightly and then Alex felt something wet on his hand and he pulled it away."JACK! That is horrible" Alex said laughing while cleaning his hand on the bed sheets, Jack just grinned at him sticking out his tongue like a three year old."You need to leave now, you can go visit him tomorrow when he gets home" The nurse said to Jack and he gave Alex a wave then went to walk out but Alex cleared his throat which caused Jack to look back at him."Forgetting something" Alex said pouting his lips at Jack, he laughed and gave him a quick kiss much to the nurse's surprise."See you tomorrow Lex" Jack said giving him another kiss and walked out the room waving through the window as he disappeared, the nurse hit a button, few minutes later Alex felt sleepy and then he was out like a light.